Lack of Aggression

[strengthstudent]

Yes, studying Buddhism made me too passive.

I realized that I wasn't being aggressive enough.

Now, I prefer to cultivate healthy levels of aggression.

Who decides what is "healthy levels of aggression"?.

Buddhism is a joke. They think they can choose what is good/pure and what is not.

 

[RexImperator]

Buddhism is a joke.

I'm not a Buddhist, but I disagree. Then again, the Buddha would probably agree.

 

[Giovonny]

Yes, studying Buddhism made me too passive.

I realized that I wasn't being aggressive enough.

Now, I prefer to cultivate healthy levels of aggression.

Who decides what is "healthy levels of aggression"?.

I'd say that we can each define it personally for our own lives..

For me, I consider "healthy" levels of aggression to be levels that do not lead to the deterioration of my health.

For example, if I am so aggressive that I get seriously hurt, die, or go to prison, I generally consider that to be "unhealthy".

Or, if I am so "un-agressive" that I allow my health or well being to deteriorate, I also consider that to be generally "unhealthy".

 

[Duke Castile]

Yes, studying Buddhism made me too passive.

I realized that I wasn't being aggressive enough.

Now, I prefer to cultivate healthy levels of aggression.

Who decides what is "healthy levels of aggression"?.

I'd say that we can each define it personally for our own lives..

For me, I consider "healthy" levels of aggression to be levels that do not lead to the deterioration of my health.

For example, if I am so aggressive that I get seriously hurt, die, or go to prison, I generally consider that to be "unhealthy".

Or, if I am so "un-agressive" that I allow my health or well being to deteriorate, I also consider that to be generally "unhealthy".

You could add unhealthy blood pressure, unhappiness from being angered easily, interpersonal relationships suffering etc.

Probably the perfect definition Gio nice one.

 

[strengthstudent]

Yes, studying Buddhism made me too passive.

I realized that I wasn't being aggressive enough.

Now, I prefer to cultivate healthy levels of aggression.

Who decides what is "healthy levels of aggression"?.

I'd say that we can each define it personally for our own lives..

For me, I consider "healthy" levels of aggression to be levels that do not lead to the deterioration of my health.

For example, if I am so aggressive that I get seriously hurt, die, or go to prison, I generally consider that to be "unhealthy".

Or, if I am so "un-agressive" that I allow my health or well being to deteriorate, I also consider that to be generally "unhealthy".

Fair enough.

I would say that the one who is continuously aggressive feels deep down very inferior because he has the huge urge to prove himself to others. Why else would you be aggressive for no legit reason?

See, I am not talking about consequences. But the feelings behind the behavior. One consequence is the heaven for one, the hell for another.

 

[Giovonny]

I would say that the one who is continuously aggressive feels deep down very inferior because he has the huge urge to prove himself to others.

Interesting..

I do not disagree.

I've felt inferior many times in my life.

Being aggressive has helped me to improve and become superior.

I still feel inferior in certain areas, I am working aggressively to improve in these areas.

Why else would you be aggressive for no legit reason?

I am aggressive because I want to improve as quickly a possible.

I was not getting girls, I worked aggressively to fix this.

I was not good enough as a basketball player, I worked aggressively to fix this.

I was unhappy with my life, I worked aggressively to fix this.

I believe that aggression is important. We just have to be healthy and safe about it.

 

[strengthstudent]

I would say that the one who is continuously aggressive feels deep down very inferior because he has the huge urge to prove himself to others.

Interesting..

I do not disagree.

I've felt inferior many times in my life.

Being aggressive has helped me to improve and become superior.

I still feel inferior in certain areas, I am working aggressively to improve in these areas.

Why else would you be aggressive for no legit reason?

I am aggressive because I want to improve as quickly a possible.

I was not getting girls, I worked aggressively to fix this.

I was not good enough as a basketball player, I worked aggressively to fix this.

I was unhappy with my life, I worked aggressively to fix this.

I believe that aggression is important. We just have to be healthy and safe about it.

We have got some wordplay here - the definition of aggression is lost. I talk aggression as confrontational aggression - taking someone else head on.

I believe there are two legit reasons for confrontational aggression:
1. Aggressive when challenged
2. Aggressive when challenging

i.e. some people who feel inferior to me try to shit talk me down -> they are challenging my status. I have two options: aggressively push back, or ignore. Ignore works as the proper strategy most of the time but if it goes on long enough, then pay back.

Aggressive when challenging stronger ones is usually just for fun / social status play. I will gladly position myself lower to someone who is better than me and has something I want, i.e. rich people.

I don't know about healthy levels of aggression. But you either challenge or get challenged. If you are challenging all the time, then you are playing too much mind-games thinking how bad/useless/worthless you are - and this is not good for one's life.

 

[StrikeBack]

I'm starting to think I might have a problem with having a lack of aggression. Not only with women but with regards to life in general. It applies across multiple aspects of life. I'm very laid back and perhaps too laid back. My default energy state is pretty low. Even when lifting heavy weights, I tend not to approach it from the "get angry and pumped up before a heavy set" mentality like a lot of guys do, but with a more Zen-like approach of trying to empty my mind of doubts and self-defeating thoughts.

Anyone else overcome something like this?

Rex, you're probably more on the introvert side. You need to understand that the idea of aggression in our society is very much that of an extrovert.

I'm sort of an ambivert i.e half introvert half extrovert, so I can see both sides and have tried different things.

Take lifting for example. I'm a powerlifter who trains in a powerlifting club, so I see all kinds of stuff guys do before a heavy set. The stereotype is that guys play loud music, get super angry and pumped up then attack the weights. This applies to many, for sure, but there are a significant number of very strong guys who do the opposite, and they tend to be the introverts.

My style is that of the latter. There's no music, I can only hear the plates clanging, my breathing and my heart beating. I calmly walk to the rack with zero tension. It's only when I actually touch the bar that I start to channel my inner aggression to the weights. As I do so, it's obvious to any observer, from my tomato face, to the veins popping off my forehead, to my primal grunts as the bar is lifted off, that I'm far from a low energy Zen master. Newbies at my lifting club have found out the hard way when they get in my way or try to distract me somehow.

I have tried the angry music, pumped up stuff, but it didn't make me stronger. I felt my energy was being projected randomly all over the place instead of where it mattered most.

I'm similar when playing sports or sparring in MA. I don't get angry, I don't look angry, but upon contacts, my opponents will know I'm aggressive.

However, I'm the opposite of that and more like a high energy guy when it comes to social settings - women, friends, performance arts, or work meetings. That's what works for me.

You want to control and channel your aggression to achieve your goals. How you do it is very much tied to your personality and what works best for you. The popular images and stereotypes may not work for you.