Ladies Forum Guidelines & Introduction thread

messaggera

Pelican
Woman
Other Christian
I’ve noticed that the more men post in the Ladies Forum, the fewer women post… Currently, there are more active male accounts posting in the Ladies Forum than female accounts…

Men posting is not preventing women from participating, besides it tends to be the frequent women accounts always engaging with worthwhile topics for women not ones favoured by men.

Why are all these women accounts not participating in the recent created threads that men have no interest in participating?

I have noticed that too. Wonder why.

Here is a theory: Look at the recent porn thread created. The OP selected a specific topic that majority of the individuals impacted are male, and then perpetuated the conversation with males. That is not noticeable?

Luna could have just asked the same question in a similar thread. But the word porn will get more attention from the targeted audience.

When the Ladies Forum was originally initiated it was taboo for men to post here unless they had something really meaningful or instructional to contribute (which was the purpose of men being allowed to post here) and we had many more active women and more discussions about being Christian Women, and other stuff too.

Maybe some should check in with @Elspeth given she was “working on” only having women’s section with no men involvement, and having subforms in the ladies.

Honestly, there is not enough Christian women accounts on here to see any consistent participation and it is doubtful women are not posting because of the men.

Perhaps some of the most recent created threads in the ladies section have been superficial and not relatable to the women accounts on here.

@BasilSeal gets it.
 

IconWriter

Woodpecker
Woman
Orthodox
Gold Member
I’ve noticed that the more men post in the Ladies Forum, the fewer women post… Currently, there are more active male accounts posting in the Ladies Forum than female accounts…

When the Ladies Forum was originally initiated it was taboo for men to post here unless they had something really meaningful or instructional to contribute (which was the purpose of men being allowed to post here) and we had many more active women and more discussions about being Christian Women, and other stuff too.

Just a thought.
Maybe it would be good to review the reasons Roosh set up two separate forums here, for men and women. (Is there a thread about that?) I've observed that men seem to be posting more here, as in the recent thread on porn, and the other thread where they began listing desirable traits in women. When women in turn chat back, posting their desired traits in men, or talk about sex, the forum begins to appear as a round-about type of online meeting service. I find Roosh's forum refreshing and I would also prefer a women's forum strictly for women. There are other forums out there for meeting up and more direct ways of getting men's advice (such as asking your father, brother, priest, etc). There will always be topics more or less of interest, and I'd love to see more women participate.
 
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pureblood

Sparrow
Orthodox
I started a women-only thread:

I'm never posting in this thread, scout's honor. unknown.png

"On my honor I will do my best to do my duty to God and my country and to obey the Scout Law; to help other people at all times; to keep myself physically strong, mentally awake, and morally straight."
 

Starlight

Kingfisher
Woman
Protestant
Men posting is not preventing women from participating, besides it tends to be the frequent women accounts always engaging with worthwhile topics for women not ones favoured by men.
Men posting is not actively preventing women from participating but it can be intimidating because there may be men that respond to their posts when they just want to engage with other women.
Why are all these women accounts not participating in the recent created threads that men have no interest in participating?
I really don’t know… We have pages in this Intro but very few that are active. I have a hunch that some are active lurkers, which is fine but I would hope that they would feel supported if they decided to start posting. Maybe some of us more senior Ladies members need make sure that the Ladies Forum is hospitable for newer lady posters which is why I think Roosh adding the “Ladies Lounge - women only” thread might be a good starting point.

We do have a kind of “core” group of OG ladies that post regularly, which I think can be kind of intimidating too. I definitely do not want other women to think or feel that they are somehow excluded from this! This is such a special and unique online Christian community…
Here is a theory: Look at the recent porn thread created. The OP selected a specific topic that majority of the individuals impacted are male, and then perpetuated the conversation with males. That is not noticeable?

Luna could have just asked the same question in a similar thread. But the word porn will get more attention from the targeted audience.
It was noticeable and I agree.
Maybe some should check in with @Elspeth given she was “working on” only having women’s section with no men involvement, and having subforms in the ladies.

Honestly, there is not enough Christian women accounts on here to see any consistent participation and it is doubtful women are not posting because of the men.
There was quite a bit of activity for the year following the Ladies Forum introduction… I’m not sure what changed… Maybe some women got bored, some moved on to other real life things, maybe it was the lockdowns… who knows?
 

Starlight

Kingfisher
Woman
Protestant
I'm never posting in this thread, scout's honor. View attachment 45630

"On my honor I will do my best to do my duty to God and my country and to obey the Scout Law; to help other people at all times; to keep myself physically strong, mentally awake, and morally straight."
This is the kind of stuff… Why mock a women’s only section? What do you care?

Thanks for proving the whole point.
 
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BasilSeal

Kingfisher
Catholic
Gold Member
I think it would be nice to see the new catch-all ladies-only thread be so successful and crowded that it demonstrates a need to flip the Ladies general forum around, such as a single thread in which men are invited to contribute, leaving all other threads for topical female-only discussion. Good luck building the female faith community!
 

Pray_Everyday

Robin
Woman
Other Christian
My 2c:

In my opinion, the many informed, intelligent, non-"normie" Christian men who post on this forum, in general, are what makes this forum so unique and special. This is the "Ladies Forum" subforum, but as women are not allowed to post in the Men's Forum, I see this subforum as a place where Christian women can get input from both genders. Not all of us women have trusted male Christians in real life that we can ask some of these questions to *, with the additional advantage of anonymity. The vast majority of my interactions with the men on this forum have been respectful, informative and helpful.

*(For example, in the recent "focus on jews" thread I learned some things that I can definitely not ask anyone in person - I can't exactly go up to the pastor and be like "let's discuss how some of your teachings may be in error".)

Regarding intimidation, here is my probably unpopular opinion: The men's presence is needed in order for this to not become "clique-y", as female-only places often are. The female-only dynamic of a "dominant" female with other females attempting to stay on her good side (therefore possibly censoring their opinion) is a real thing. Men being present disrups that dynamic, thankfully.

I have lurked on this site since long before the Ladies subforum existed. I did not join because while reading through those old threads at the time it did seem that dissenting opinions were not really welcome. In the thread announcing the creation of the subforum it appears others noticed this too, with still others saying that women tend to find the acceptable opinion to agree on and that this is a good thing (I'm paraphrasing).


As an adult convert, I felt very intimidated around a group of women who grew up Christian, and seem to have similar backgrounds, opinions, etc. Among the men there appears to be more members who found God more recently in their lives, and repent of past sinful lives, so I suppose that is more relatable to me. I realize that this is a problem with me that is not the fault of any other posters, but I'm just explaining my rationale.

Also, once again it could just be me, but I find threads in which the majority of the posts to be only from women to be intimidating. On a recent thread (not the new women-only one) I saw that it was mostly just women posting and I felt intimidated to contribute. For me it is difficult to separate my "online personality" from my real life one, and I have always been one of those women that didn't fit in with other women at all. As a Christian woman this is something I must work on, but it is an uphill battle.

Regarding possible fake or larp accounts, I just have to say that I've noticed that what some posters say doesn't add up. But could they just be extremely forgetful, even of significant life experiences, or are they pretending to be someone they're not? Friendly tip: if one is going to make up stories, perhaps make sure what is said does not directly contradict something posted the month before. At least put some effort! (But preferably just stop.)
 

AdorationoftheCross

Pigeon
Woman
Orthodox
Hello! I'm in my late-twenties, an orthodox artist. I don't paint icons but I draw and paint religious style images from time to time. I am very health conscious and MP and Dr. Peterson are my heroes. I like to read religious books and listen to hymns from time to time. When I feel up to it I cook, clean, sew, and knit. Currently in FL but live in a different state.

Nice to meet everyone!

I immigrated to the US a long time ago so I feel like an American now. I just speak a different language at home!
 

BasilSeal

Kingfisher
Catholic
Gold Member
I was (humorously?) referring to the parallel-world coffee/caffeine thread... Hopefully no harsh judgement being passed on java! In any case, as I often tell my wife, when it comes to what humors me, not all of it is "A" material.
 

BennyB

Chicken
Woman
Trad Catholic
I lost count how many men have told me their parents urged them not to marry young, even when they married young themselves. The problem is if you don't marry "young", you can fall for a lot of traps and end up not marrying at all. Even my own mom gave me this advice (she married at 26). I wonder if it's some sort of projection from people who fell for the "grass is greener" meme.
Yes, when my husband and I approached my parents about getting married at then 19/20 yrs old, they weren't very supportive (they married at 19/20). I made the argument that they themselves were married young and have had a good marriage and sound family. And that he wants me to follow his example in all other things, why not in this? He noted I had a point. We married at 20/21 yrs old. Have been married for 16 years. Have 6 children. Are Trad Caths. Homeschool and homestead. Our values so closely align because we spent the early parts of our adults lives forming ourselves as a couple together and ironing out all our values (and working to get free to school debt) together.
 

PineTreeFarmer

Woodpecker
Woman
Orthodox Inquirer
Yes, when my husband and I approached my parents about getting married at then 19/20 yrs old, they weren't very supportive (they married at 19/20). I made the argument that they themselves were married young and have had a good marriage and sound family. And that he wants me to follow his example in all other things, why not in this? He noted I had a point. We married at 20/21 yrs old. Have been married for 16 years. Have 6 children. Are Trad Caths. Homeschool and homestead. Our values so closely align because we spent the early parts of our adults lives forming ourselves as a couple together and ironing out all our values (and working to get free to school debt) together.
lol my parents MADE me get married at 18. I don't understand not being able to find a spouse. I think it really does come down to compromise and deciding to work with your spouse!
 
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