Ladies Forum Guidelines & Introduction thread

EntWife

Robin
Woman
great ! I was hesitant to post as I imagined my profile might "wildly differ" etc..
We can't all be the same, right? For example, a lot of stay at home moms online enthuse over how much they love housework. I'm happy for them, but I don't feel the same way. I don't enjoy scrubbing the toilet, mopping the floors, cooking, doing laundry, and homeschooling the children. These are things that need to be done, that's all. (I enjoy having more time with the children, just not the actual homeschooling.)

Actually, most of those things need to be done right now, but I'm going to put some of it off until tomorrow when the kids are at my parents. I'm trying to do some today but my youngest keeps attacking his older siblings. He's very aggressive. That can be a good trait if he learns to control it. There's a lot of sorting and organizing that I need to do so I don't know how much ordinary housework I'll manage this weekend anyway.
 

Luna Novem

Kingfisher
Woman
We can't all be the same, right? For example, a lot of stay at home moms online enthuse over how much they love housework. I'm happy for them, but I don't feel the same way. I don't enjoy scrubbing the toilet, mopping the floors, cooking, doing laundry, and homeschooling the children. These are things that need to be done, that's all. (I enjoy having more time with the children, just not the actual homeschooling.)

Actually, most of those things need to be done right now, but I'm going to put some of it off until tomorrow when the kids are at my parents. I'm trying to do some today but my youngest keeps attacking his older siblings. He's very aggressive. That can be a good trait if he learns to control it. There's a lot of sorting and organizing that I need to do so I don't know how much ordinary housework I'll manage this weekend anyway.
Homeschooling is the one thing I DO love. I've always loved it, but I love it even more now that I have discovered the company Memoria Press. They're fantastic; their goal is to pass the greatness of Western Civilization to the next generation. We don't use them for everything, but we do use them for a lot.
 
I have to confess I don’t like to cook or clean. It has to be done, and it’s my job so I do it. I enjoy the results.
Its best to do it as effectively and efficiently as possible. To minimize the unpleasantness.

Why Men invented stuff like Windmills and Waterwheels to automate grinding grain and other repetitive tasks. Or the seed-drill to make seed-planting much better and faster.
 

Lamkins

Woodpecker
Woman
Its best to do it as effectively and efficiently as possible. To minimize the unpleasantness.

Why Men invented stuff like Windmills and Waterwheels to automate grinding grain and other repetitive tasks. Or the seed-drill to make seed-planting much better and faster.

I agree, and I‘ve also learned to accept “good enough“ in order to speed things up. The Messies Manual by Sandra Felton really helped me identify my problem areas. I’m not where I want to be, but I’ve made miraculous progress in the last 4 months.
 

Starlight

Kingfisher
Woman
I agree, and I‘ve also learned to accept “good enough“ in order to speed things up. The Messies Manual by Sandra Felton really helped me identify my problem areas. I’m not where I want to be, but I’ve made miraculous progress in the last 4 months.
I haven’t read that book but I think I’ll check it out. With my kids home all day instead of at school plus extracurricular activities the house gets sooo messy/dirty so fast. My usual household routine feels like it’s in overdrive fighting the entropy. One thing that helped me a long time ago was realizing that our house is place that real people live in, not a show home. Weekly, I spend one day *only* on laundry, one day on ironing, and tidy up every other day. I actually clean the house only once on Fridays but I will keep the kitchen clean everyday. I am a wife and mother, not a personal maid. The kids (and husband) can put their shoes and coats away by themselves. I’m not going to follow them around picking up after them so they can be lazy.
 
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Jessie

Sparrow
Woman
We can't all be the same, right? For example, a lot of stay at home moms online enthuse over how much they love housework. I'm happy for them, but I don't feel the same way. I don't enjoy scrubbing the toilet, mopping the floors, cooking, doing laundry, and homeschooling the children. These are things that need to be done, that's all. (I enjoy having more time with the children, just not the actual homeschooling.
Same. I’m a little bit overwhelmed by all of the cooking, cleaning, and homeschooling that comes with a big family, and I do not love doing a lot of the same chores over and over again. But I love having my kids home, and I like having a healthy family and a pretty house, so I do it. And I try to get my kids to help so that my husband doesn’t come home to utter chaos, but that’s a lot of work, too.
 

Cyn

Chicken
Woman
Just another product of these times. Even my very traditional FIL who is red pill on so many things once mentioned how ‘you won’t want to have too many children or you’ll neglect the first ones’. What?! At my age I’ll be happy to have ALL the babies God will blesses us with. Love multiplies it doesn’t divide. I love my husband so much I want to drown in a sea of our babies. To think there are lots of women who do everything to prevent pregnancy, or worse, kill their babies. Fighting tooth and nail to be able to kill your babies?! I can’t imagine a more sick culture.
They marched in the millions to do it. Who could forget those hats! I’ve seen enough videos from pro-choice advocates taken outside these baby butcher shops, to see the this truly is the devils play ground. They reveal in it. It’s a big mistake to believe that they think “it’s a clump of cells.” They know exactly what it is, a baby, and what they are doing. Killing it.
Lord, have mercy on their souls.
 

EntWife

Robin
Woman
Same. I’m a little bit overwhelmed by all of the cooking, cleaning, and homeschooling that comes with a big family, and I do not love doing a lot of the same chores over and over again. But I love having my kids home, and I like having a healthy family and a pretty house, so I do it. And I try to get my kids to help so that my husband doesn’t come home to utter chaos, but that’s a lot of work, too.
Exactly. Homeschooling is like a full-time job. That and making sure everyone gets fed is my no. 1 priority. Then laundry, then cleaning the kitchen, then cleaning everything else.

The kids are here all day long, using more dishes and generally making more of a mess than if they were at school. My husband also works from home, so he dirties up more dishes too. Plus I don't have time to do housework while the children are at school like other SAHM's do. I always feel like I'm behind and will never catch up!

I wouldn't change it though. My husband and I both get a lot more time with our children than if they went to school outside the home. We're able to be closer to them, and they're closer to each other.

The biggest reason we do homeschooling though is because the local public schools are so bad. They teach children anti-Christian things, they're full of drugs, and they don't provide a decent education even from a secular standpoint. Math especially has gotten really bad. My husband previously was against homeschooling, but when he realized how bad the public school was, he agreed to pulling our kids out of there. This is our fifth year homeschooling now. The children are doing very well with it.
 

Starlight

Kingfisher
Woman
Same. I’m a little bit overwhelmed by all of the cooking, cleaning, and homeschooling that comes with a big family, and I do not love doing a lot of the same chores over and over again. But I love having my kids home, and I like having a healthy family and a pretty house, so I do it. And I try to get my kids to help so that my husband doesn’t come home to utter chaos, but that’s a lot of work, too.
I’d be interested to hear what your day is like managing your household while homeschooling. We were thinking of homeschooling when everything shut down in March but it seemed really overwhelming starting from scratch with no experience. Buying the all the curriculum plus supplemental materials looked kind of expensive too especially since we weren’t sure if we wanted to totally commit long term to the program. I’d appreciate your opinions.
@EntWife What’s your day like homeschooling plus managing your household?
 

Jessie

Sparrow
Woman
I’d be interested to hear what your day is like managing your household while homeschooling. We were thinking of homeschooling when everything shut down in March but it seemed really overwhelming starting from scratch with no experience. Buying the all the curriculum plus supplemental materials looked kind of expensive too especially since we weren’t sure if we wanted to totally commit long term to the program. I’d appreciate your opinions.
@EntWife What’s your day like homeschooling plus managing your household?

How old are your kids? A lot of it really depends on their ages and how many you have!
 

Leeloo

Woodpecker
Woman
I love what you said about the world being upside down. That helps me tremendously as well. I am a rebel/skeptic by nature, so the louder they shout, the more I know that the opposite of what they say is actually the truth.
One of my favorite quotes applies here (although of course I can’t remember at the moment who originally said it!):

“What is right is not always popular, and what is popular is not always right.”
 

EntWife

Robin
Woman
I’d be interested to hear what your day is like managing your household while homeschooling. We were thinking of homeschooling when everything shut down in March but it seemed really overwhelming starting from scratch with no experience. Buying the all the curriculum plus supplemental materials looked kind of expensive too especially since we weren’t sure if we wanted to totally commit long term to the program. I’d appreciate your opinions.
@EntWife What’s your day like homeschooling plus managing your household?
It kinda depends on the day. Today was really tough because my youngest is sick, and he usually makes the rest of us feel it. LOL

Your experience homeschooling has a lot to do with your temperament, your children's personalities and eagerness to learn, and which curriculum you choose. Your state's homeschooling laws make a big difference too.

In my state, I have to get an evaluation of my children's work every year, covering the specified subjects. They have to make progress commensurate with their ability, as decided by the evaluator. If the evaluator says they haven't, then we can be forced to put them back in public school.

Because of that, I've chosen a more formal approach than I otherwise might have. They're doing the Accelerated Christian Education program. There are 12 workbooks (PACE's) per subject per year. Everything is explained pretty well in the PACE's so it isn't necessary to teach classes. That was important because my youngest, while very sweet and loving, has always been a little difficult. The children do need a little more explanation of concepts sometimes. My youngest is in kindergarten now, which I use Saxon Math and Saxon Phonics for. The other subjects I cover in books I read to him, plus nature study in our back yard. Next year, he'll start ACE too.

The biggest thing is just getting them to do their work. When my older son went to public school for kindergarten, the teacher and her assistant were not able to get him to learn and do the work at all. I make him do his schoolwork, but it takes a ton of time and effort. He does enjoy learning, but only on his terms. Unfortunately, the way he learns the easiest is really hard to provide proof of for an evaluator. Hence, Accelerated Christian Education.

We lived for a couple years in a state where you don't have to prove anything to the state. You don't even have to let them know you're homeschooling. You simply have to provide your children an education. The details are entirely up to you. We never homeschooled there because the kids were toddlers.

If our state had those minimal rules, I'd do things differently. I'd still do something more structured, like ACE, for Math and English. For the rest, I'd do a combination of Charlotte Mason and unschooling. That would suit my children, especially my older son, a lot better. I believe he'd end up learning more too. There's a difference between being forced to learn and doing it for the love of it, because you're interested. It's too bad our state interferes like they do.

So most of my day is forcing one son to keep at his work, while keeping my youngest from preventing his siblings from doing their work by his misbehavior. It's exhausting. You would probably have a very different experience.
 

Jessie

Sparrow
Woman
18 months, 5, 10, and 13.

You are in a little bit of a difficult spot with an 18mo, since they like to get into everything and aren’t aware of danger yet. It’s the hardest age to homeschool with, IMO. But don’t be discouraged. It’s worth it, and it’s a very short season. It will get easier. I’d do something like this:

1. Wake up, make beds, eat breakfast, and throw in some laundry.

2. Combine the kids together for bible, then get the 13yo started on the subject he’s best at, either math or English. Then pick the subject the 10yo is worst at, between math or English. Help him. Then switch off subjects, and see where they need help. The five year old and the 18 month can play during during time.

3. Lunch time. Make something easy, like sandwiches, salad, or left overs. Switch the laundry over, add another load, and clean up from lunch.

4. Put the baby down for a nap and let your 10 and 13yo play or read or do whatever you want them to do. Work with the 5yo for an hour. He won’t need much more time than that, but he will need your full attention because that age isn’t independent yet, and they generally can’t read basic instructions. You also need to make sure their letter formations are correct. If they aren’t, cursive will be difficult down the road.

5. Let the 5yo play, and call your 10 and 13yo down for science or history. Teach them the same lesson at the same time, but expect a higher level of work from the 13yo. I prefer to do science one day and history the next, rather than trying to fit them both in. We are able to go more in depth that way, too. Or you can spend one semester in history and one on science.

6. Let the older kids catch up on whatever work they need to finish, while you sort the laundry. Then have the 5, 10, and 13yo fold their own while you do the baby’s, yours and your husband’s. Or, you can read a book to them while they fold all of it.

7. Do a quick house rescue. Set the timer for 20-25 minutes and make everyone help you.

8. Rest for a bit, then start dinner.

When you figure out your groove, you can add music, sports, co-ops, etc. We also have church one evening, so that day is kind of rushed.

Focus on getting four good days of school in. Don’t worry too much about the fifth day. Use it for lessons, co-ops, etc.

Try to clean your house as you go, but don’t expect perfection. There won’t be time for that in this season! Out of cooking, cleaning, and schooling, you can really only do two well. You have to pick which is most important. For most people, cleaning gets the short end of the stick. If your kids are smart and independent, you can clean more. If they struggle, you will have to clean less. Some kids are really hard and hate to work, so it will take a lot of exhausting effort. But it’s important for their character, so do the best you can. Hopefully you’ll have easy kids?!

Really, you will have to figure out what works best with your family dynamics, and you can start with just math and english if you are overwhelmed. The important thing is to get your kids home. Hope this helps!!!
 
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EntWife

Robin
Woman
You are in a little bit of a difficult spot with an 18mo, since they like to get into everything and aren’t aware of danger yet. It’s the hardest age to homeschool with, IMO. But don’t be discouraged. It’s worth it, and it’s a very short season. It will get easier. I’d do something like this:

1. Wake up, make beds, eat breakfast, and throw in some laundry.

2. Combine the kids together for bible, then get the 13yo started on the subject he’s best at, either math or English. Then pick the subject the 10yo is worst at, between math or English. Help him. Then switch off subjects, and see where they need help. The five year old and the 18 month can play during during time.

3. Lunch time. Make something easy, like sandwiches, salad, or left overs. Switch the laundry over, add another load, and clean up from lunch.

4. Put the baby down for a nap and let your 10 and 13yo play or read or do whatever you want them to do. Work with the 5yo for an hour. He won’t need much more time than that, but he will need your full attention because that age isn’t independent yet, and they generally can’t read basic instructions. You also need to make sure their letter formations are correct. If they aren’t, cursive will be difficult down the road.

5. Let the 5yo play, and call your 10 and 13yo down for science or history. Teach them the same lesson at the same time, but expect a higher level of work from the 13yo. I prefer to do science one day and history the next, rather than trying to fit them both in. We are able to go more in depth that way, too. Or you can spend one semester in history and one on science.

6. Let the older kids catch up on whatever work they need to finish, while you sort the laundry. Then have the 5, 10, and 13yo fold their own while you do the baby’s, yours and your husband’s. Or, you can read a book to them while they fold all of it.

7. Do a quick house rescue. Set the timer for 20-25 minutes and make everyone help you.

8. Rest for a bit, then start dinner.

When you figure out your groove, you can add music, sports, co-ops, etc. We also have church one evening, so that day is kind of rushed.

Focus on getting four good days of school in. Don’t worry too much about the fifth day. Use it for lessons, co-ops, etc.

Try to clean your house as you go, but don’t expect perfection. There won’t be time for that in this season! Out of cooking, cleaning, and schooling, you can really only do two well. You have to pick which is most important. For most people, cleaning gets the short end of the stick. If your kids are smart and independent, you can clean more. If they struggle, you will have to clean less. Some kids are really hard and hate to work, so it will take a lot of exhausting effort. But it’s important for their character, so do the best you can. Hopefully you’ll have easy kids?!

Really, you will have to figure out what works best with your family dynamics, and you can start with just math and english if you are overwhelmed. The important thing is to get your kids home. Hope this helps!!!
@Jessie is right that you won't get everything done. You have to choose what is most important and juggle everything else. Homeschooling is like a full-time job.

But because you don't get paid for it, most people won't understand that. A lot of people will judge you for not having a house as clean as they think a stay at home mom ought to have it. Some people will imply, or even outright say, that you are lazy and ungrateful to your husband for working so you can stay home. These people have never homeschooled and don't know what they're talking about. Ignore them. You have to do what's best for your family.

Another thing to consider is that your 10 yo and 13 yo are probably behind where they should be, especially in math. The public schools don't drill basic math into kids like they did when we were kids. Even if they made A's, they may not really know their multiplication tables or be able to answer 3+4 or 8+7 without counting on their fingers. Common Core really is that bad. There are tests you can give them to figure out where they are.

There's an Evangelical program that you can do that has the lessons taught on videos. It was really engaging. A family we know use and love it. It was a little too expensive for us. If you can afford it, something like that would make the whole thing a lot easier for you. I think it was through Bob Jones University. You can also do an online school. Memoria Press, mentioned above, has one that looks good. You have to be careful though. I've heard that some of the online schools are very frustrating because of technical issues. Some of the free ones are notorious for that.
 

messaggera

Kingfisher
Woman
It may be beneficial to have a thread just for homeschool, perhaps?
Activites, lesson plans, and files could be shared among the group.

We homeschooled after the COVID appeared in March, and had us both working 40 hours a week remotely, and 30 hours a week teaching. Come to find out (following the school's lessons) our school was spending as little as 2 hours just in teaching, when our district breaks down a required 5 hours a day for a school year.

This school year the parochial school went back a month before the public, so we had time to complete the notification to homeschool paperwork, and prepared over the late summer for a school year.

Just an observation:

Homeschooling allows parents to control the curriculum and flexibility on when to learn.
Structured online learning does not give one the ability to "just' go outside whenever it is nice; but rather sit in front of a screen at designated times.

Would like to hear how everyone keeps her children on track.
 

Starlight

Kingfisher
Woman
You are in a little bit of a difficult spot with an 18mo, since they like to get into everything and aren’t aware of danger yet. It’s the hardest age to homeschool with, IMO. But don’t be discouraged. It’s worth it, and it’s a very short season. It will get easier. I’d do something like this:

1. Wake up, make beds, eat breakfast, and throw in some laundry.

2. Combine the kids together for bible, then get the 13yo started on the subject he’s best at, either math or English. Then pick the subject the 10yo is worst at, between math or English. Help him. Then switch off subjects, and see where they need help. The five year old and the 18 month can play during during time.

3. Lunch time. Make something easy, like sandwiches, salad, or left overs. Switch the laundry over, add another load, and clean up from lunch.

4. Put the baby down for a nap and let your 10 and 13yo play or read or do whatever you want them to do. Work with the 5yo for an hour. He won’t need much more time than that, but he will need your full attention because that age isn’t independent yet, and they generally can’t read basic instructions. You also need to make sure their letter formations are correct. If they aren’t, cursive will be difficult down the road.

5. Let the 5yo play, and call your 10 and 13yo down for science or history. Teach them the same lesson at the same time, but expect a higher level of work from the 13yo. I prefer to do science one day and history the next, rather than trying to fit them both in. We are able to go more in depth that way, too. Or you can spend one semester in history and one on science.

6. Let the older kids catch up on whatever work they need to finish, while you sort the laundry. Then have the 5, 10, and 13yo fold their own while you do the baby’s, yours and your husband’s. Or, you can read a book to them while they fold all of it.

7. Do a quick house rescue. Set the timer for 20-25 minutes and make everyone help you.

8. Rest for a bit, then start dinner.

When you figure out your groove, you can add music, sports, co-ops, etc. We also have church one evening, so that day is kind of rushed.

Focus on getting four good days of school in. Don’t worry too much about the fifth day. Use it for lessons, co-ops, etc.

Try to clean your house as you go, but don’t expect perfection. There won’t be time for that in this season! Out of cooking, cleaning, and schooling, you can really only do two well. You have to pick which is most important. For most people, cleaning gets the short end of the stick. If your kids are smart and independent, you can clean more. If they struggle, you will have to clean less. Some kids are really hard and hate to work, so it will take a lot of exhausting effort. But it’s important for their character, so do the best you can. Hopefully you’ll have easy kids?!

Really, you will have to figure out what works best with your family dynamics, and you can start with just math and english if you are overwhelmed. The important thing is to get your kids home. Hope this helps!!!
Wow! That is a full day! I thought I was busy but feel like a slacker now lol. I imagine it wouldn’t be to difficult to get my kids to sit and do their work. They’re doing “distance learning” on a laptop with their current school right now. Homeschooling is just intimidating to me. How to organize everything and give out school work feels way over my head.
 
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Starlight

Kingfisher
Woman
It kinda depends on the day. Today was really tough because my youngest is sick, and he usually makes the rest of us eel it. LOL

Your experience homeschooling has a lot to do with your temperament, your children's personalities and eagerness to learn, and which curriculum you choose. Your state's homeschooling laws make a big difference too.
Hope your little one is feeling better!

I skimmed my states homeschooling laws and it’s technically not allowed lol. You have to start a “private school” that’s operated in your home and are under the jurisdiction of the local public school district. Seems deliberately complicated.

Another thing to consider is that your 10 yo and 13 yo are probably behind where they should be, especially in math. The public schools don't drill basic math into kids like they did when we were kids. Even if they made A's, they may not really know their multiplication tables or be able to answer 3+4 or 8+7 without counting on their fingers. Common Core really is that bad. There are tests you can give them to figure out where they are.
Let’s not make assumptions about each other’s children. It isn’t polite and we could be wrong.

The reason I’m considering homeschooling isn’t because I’m not satisfied with their current school (which is a great little neighborhood school) but because I’m concerned that the kids will be forced to take the coronavirus vaccine to keep attending. I want to be prepared with a plan to pull them out if that is the case.
 
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