Ladies Forum introduce yourself thread

[Luna Novem]

Good evening (to those in the U.S./Canada; otherwise, good morning or whatever applies.)

I'm a married gal in my early 40's; mother of four. My first two are now adults and I homeschool my younger two. I have lurked around on various Roosh media for, oh, probably six or eight years? I am what *some* call an extremely opinionated person, lol. My opinions tend to lean far to the right, and I also tend to believe that they are not opinions, but, indeed, fact. This tends to be a bit of a deficit in the social world of women. Luckily I am a homebody and an introvert by nature, who counts my husband as my best friend, so it's all good. I have always found Roosh's posts fascinating because he points things out that are SO clearly true, but their very truth offends people to a ridiculous degree.

My kids are currently playing Risk and every time one of them yells, I lose my train of thought, so I'll stop for now.

 

[Luna Novem]

Hi, I've been reading the forum for a while, but never signed up since I'm not a man. It's a great idea to have a place where women can post without messing up the rest of the forum.

I'm an Orthodox Christian, and, like Misty, I also married young. Or what passes for young nowadays - I was 20! In my early and mid twenties, there were people acting like I was a child bride. They thought I should be partying, sleeping around, and working on a career. I didn't want to do any of those things so I ignored them. I'm very glad now that I didn't listen to them. My husband and I have been married a little over 20 years now, have very sweet, good-hearted children, and are finally on the right path spiritually.

What has helped a lot over the years has been to keep in mind that the whole world is upside down. They're constantly telling us that what's wrong is right, that what's ugly is beautiful, and vice versa. I still went the wrong direction spiritually for a while, but it was necessary in order to get to where I really needed to be. Or as someone I used to know would say all the time, "God writes straight with a crooked line."

I love what you said about the world being upside down. That helps me tremendously as well. I am a rebel/skeptic by nature, so the louder they shout, the more I know that the opposite of what they say is actually the truth.

 

[Luna Novem]

Thank you, Roosh. And hello, ladies!

I've been a silent lurker since early 2014, and I'm pretty excited to find out about this new little corner of my favorite place on the internet where I can actually talk! It's especially reassuring given all the censorship and funny-business going on with all of the large platforms right now. I'm very grateful. And especially for the forum format. It is my favorite. I <3 old internet.

I am 34. Happily (re)married. Two adolescent sons (from first marriage). I also married young, the first time around, at 19. Pretty much everybody thought I was crazy. I just knew what I wanted. And I tried to do everything right, but was never taught how to navigate the liars, narcissists, abusers, etc., didn't really have anything resembling a solid religious teaching or a community to learn from. I dun' got had. My ex-husband reminds me of some of the women in the divorce horror stories here on RVF. The rest of his family is pretty sensible, though.

My own parents were dirty hippies (although they've made great strides in life and I love them dearly). My ancestors are all European and mostly Catholic. My parents both went to Catholic schools. I was raised in a Vaishnav household (subset of Hinduism). Some New-Agey enlightenment nonsense going on there for sure. I have always considered myself a Christian, although I knew virtually nothing about Christianity until well into adulthood. It became extra-obvious when I tried to be an atheist for a few years and figured out exactly which God I was angry at (trite, perhaps, but TRUE).

The man God eventually set in my path when I finally got my head on straight and my compass pointed in the right direction is proof, to me, that God works miracles, even (and especially) for the fallen. Proof also that proud efforts are worth nothing next to prayers of humility.

Over the last few years, I've helped my husband open his own business, and he let me quit my job so I wouldn't have to put my boys in school (they've always been homeschooled, modern education is cancer). I don't like the word "lifestyle," but if I had to describe how we live, basically we are prepping to eventually build a rural homestead... but for now we live in a rented townhouse. Our budgets are small and our margins are tight, but our systems are good!

I truly enjoy and have a passion for pretty much all of the things feminists hate me for being good at: cooking, cleaning, baking, sewing, taking care of my family... and ALSO, these days, perversely: reading, writing, maths, sciency things, and winning at everything. They hate those the worst.

I consider myself Catholic, although what was going to be my first time ever attending Mass (many moons ago, now) was CANCELED thanks to "COVID." I suppose you could say I have so far FAILED to humble myself sufficiently to feel any kind of good about PREPENDING an additional ritual to my very first formal act of worship (mask on, name in book). I guess you could also say that I am in hiding. I am waiting. I am learning how to heal from some things, and learning how to use my gifts and talents to better serve the Lord.

I am DEFINITELY very happy to be among other traditionally-minded Christian women. Well met, all.

I am also remarried. My first marriage was at 21. I don't want to at all imply that I am against young marriage; in fact I strongly support it. My first marriage didn't fail due to age; it failed due to opiate addiction. My ex and I have been divorced for twelve years and he is still an addict to this day. I was blessed tremendously with a second chance. I am glad you were, too.

 

[Kitty Tantrum]

@Luna Novem I am sorry. My father ended up dependent on (prescribed) opiates after a car accident when I was a kid, and that was bad enough. My ex never got into "hard substances," but he was definitely a sexual addict. Addiction is a horrible thing to have to live with. I pray for my ex every day, (seven years separated, five divorced), but I couldn't have fixed him. I was just getting dragged down with him.

 

[Luna Novem]

But if a woman puts her faith in her husband and her marriage ABOVE her faith in God, she will be easily led astray, in the event that her husband endeavors to lead her AWAY from God. This is the mistake I made. Faith in husband and institution of marriage is necessary foundation for family -- but faith should be in GOD above all else. When my first husband turned away from following God, I should not have followed him down that path.

Should I have simply separated, remained celibate, given him time to come around? Maybe. Perhaps that would have been ideal. I lack the eternal sort of perspective to be able to say definitively. But on whose dime was I going to raise our young children, while he was off doin' the debauchery with "genderfluid kinksters" and obese blue-haired prostitutes, and barely even able to support himself? What kind of functional example would those boys have of masculinity and fatherhood under those circumstances?

Furthermore -- TO WHOM should I have turned, in seeking counsel on whether or not it was permissible to divorce and find a more suitable husband? We were not married in the Catholic Church. Why try to apply the "no divorce" rule to a marriage that was never subject to any of the other rules or standards that go along with that one?

I am not alone. I understand that the particulars of my history are a bit extreme, but the principle is common enough. Women like me-when-I entered-the-marriage-market - LACKING a proper religious education or community, LACKING a fullness of faith - don't really need to be taught that "any/all divorce is unacceptable" (remember, this WAS my belief at the beginning). They need to be taught that there are, in fact, some kinds of "marriage" that are unacceptable and unholy constructs. No woman should be obligated or compelled to remain in a marriage that is an unholy and godless construct.

I sense that you're speaking from a place of ideals - but a majority of situations don't fit the ideal. I can't speak to the women who have been raised in church and entered into a marriage under church guidance/direction and authority to a properly vetted man. I can only speak to the women like myself: the unwashed masses. The ones who were, at best, never taught the right way of doing things - and at worst, deliberately broken and kept in the dark, away from the truth. The ones who were left to figure it out themselves. The nominally "Christian" women who civilly marry nominally Christian men, and think that they have a "Christian Marriage."

I suspect a great many courthouse "marriages" could never be accurately categorized under the heading of "What God has brought together" in the first place. That's the point I'm getting at. TBH, I doubt very much that my current marriage is "valid" according to the Catholic church (if for no other reason, because my husband is not open to having more children), and I expect this to be an issue in the future when I approach the church for baptism, etc.


He's a filthy degenerate, is what he is. His live-in "partner" of the last several years is a woman, but he apparently has other "partners" to meet his various "needs." At least one of them was a dude. I try NOT to know about these things, but I'm still somewhat close with the rest of his family, and they tell me stories. I guess he likes to "brag" about his sexual exploits and then shame his family for being "religious bigots" when they don't want to hear about it. So I don't know how gay he actually is, or if he just did it once to earn "homo cred" or to get a reaction or whatever.

I agree with this. Even in my case it was less about justifying divorce "because he does xyz and isn't going to change," and more, rather, that I saw no possible way forward, no possible way to even attempt to follow Christ (and teach my children to do the same), if I did not extricate myself from his influence and authority entirely.

I do not particularly like to think about how that whole situation might have gone down if he had actually been a stable provider, if he had ever provided me with an option for staying legally married (but physically separated) that didn't involve, basically, putting the kids in public school and getting a day-job so that he wouldn't have to reduce himself to the indignity of holding a normal-person job...

Spoiler

HILARIOUSLY... I think I remember reading an article on RVF somewhere about a lawyer couple where the wife is a "lawyer by day" - but then works as an actual prostitute in Nevada on the side, or something? I LOL'd so hard and so derisively at that article, because that's exactly what my ex-husband wanted me to do (minus the lawyer part, I didn't have to be a whore AND a lawyer, just a whore), and that was the straw that broke the camel's back as they say. If there is ONE THING the Holy Spirit has whispered (loudly) to me over and over and over since I was little, it's "DON'T BE A WHORE." - and THAT is advice you can take to the bank, ladies.

But, but... his dignity. I wish I was making this up.

Men on this forum have discussed at some length just how easy it is to manipulate women, and this is no joke. So it can also be a slippery slope to tell women that divorce is ALWAYS wrong in the first place. I guess what I would say to just about any young woman who does not have a competent religious counselor at her disposal, if I had to boil it down, is that I believe it is imperative to remove ourselves from situations that put our salvation - and by extension the salvation of our children - at risk.

That sort of situation is probably exceedingly rare among actual Sacramental Marriages. I am disappointed rather than appeased to hear that the Catholic Church more or less hands out annulments like candy.

It is a big, gaping pitfall of the secular world, though - and of secular marriages that masquerade as "Christian Marriage" via the casual employment of religious-sounding vows in civil ceremonies. Common enough that I wish someone - anyone - had thought to warn me about it. I was entirely blind to the possibility. Never crossed my mind. Advice along those lines would have gone a lot farther than "just never get married" or "don't get married until you're 25."

That's what it boils down to.

I appreciate your input, Rob. It helps me clarify my own position.

Some of my dearest friends have told me that I am "autistic AF" - and maybe there is some truth to that, because I often find that the things I say don't come across correctly until I've done a fair bit of whittling and rephrasing.

Autistic AF, too. <3

 

[Luna Novem]

@Luna Novem I am sorry. My father ended up dependent on (prescribed) opiates after a car accident when I was a kid, and that was bad enough. My ex never got into "hard substances," but he was definitely a sexual addict. Addiction is a horrible thing to have to live with. I pray for my ex every day, (seven years separated, five divorced), but I couldn't have fixed him. I was just getting dragged down with him.

Ugh, I am sorry you have dealt with that with your dad. I know how much my ex's addiction affected our two daughters. He began with prescription opiates and climbed the ladder to heroin. You're a better woman than I to pray for your ex. I probably ought to pray for mine. It's been a very, very long time.

 

[Luna Novem]

Hello Ladies,

I am struggling with something. I live in a large city in a warm state and frequently see very young women wearing very revealing shorts in stores and they seem to be with a parent. Sometimes I will see someone in a long T-shirt and it looks like nothing underneath, like they forgot to put on pants. Also, in the gym I see girls wearing volleyball shorts. For some reason this makes me seething mad, the same thing adult women do when they wear super tight yoga type pants when they are not doing yoga. Seething mad means I want to go talk to them and ask them why...

I feel you. I struggle when I see parents giving their kids devices at younger and younger ages. I just have to remember that they have their parental rights the same as I do.

 

[EntWife]

I feel you. I struggle when I see parents giving their kids devices at younger and younger ages. I just have to remember that they have their parental rights the same as I do.

My niece, still a child, recently looked up cannibalism on her smart phone and read about Jeffrey Dahmer.

 

[Luna Novem]

My niece, still a child, recently looked up cannibalism on her smart phone and read about Jeffrey Dahmer.

Eeeeek!

 

[Ah_Tibor]

My niece, still a child, recently looked up cannibalism on her smart phone and read about Jeffrey Dahmer.

I worry about this. I remember when I was a kid I could sit and read encyclopedias for hours, or those "Strange Stories, Amazing Facts!" sorts of books, and when we got the internet I thought it was awesome. Except it was so much easier to come across something inappropriate or terrifying. I really miss my pre-internet brain. I can't imagine what kids go through now.

I think it's possible to limit their exposure as much as we can. I've noticed my smartphone usage go way up in the past two years and have a hard time focusing, and I read at least 1-2 books a week.

 

[infowarrior1]

Even if COVID is “cured” there will still be crazy cat ladies yelling at everyone to put a mask on five years from now.

The Karen scourge.

 

[infowarrior1]

@Luna Novem I am sorry. My father ended up dependent on (prescribed) opiates after a car accident when I was a kid, and that was bad enough. My ex never got into "hard substances," but he was definitely a sexual addict. Addiction is a horrible thing to have to live with. I pray for my ex every day, (seven years separated, five divorced), but I couldn't have fixed him. I was just getting dragged down with him.

Redemption is primarily God's Job. I don't think you are the right person for the Job anyway. And I think those who are better trained should take on that role instead.

 

[Starlight]

The Karen scourge.

I’m beginning to understand why the Salem Witch Trials happened the way they did. The OG Karen’s lol

 

[infowarrior1]

I’m beginning to understand why the Salem Witch Trials happened the way they did. The OG Karen’s lol

They also look the same too:

Probably Henpecked to condemn innocent women to death.

 

[Luna Novem]

I worry about this. I remember when I was a kid I could sit and read encyclopedias for hours, or those "Strange Stories, Amazing Facts!" sorts of books, and when we got the internet I thought it was awesome. Except it was so much easier to come across something inappropriate or terrifying. I really miss my pre-internet brain. I can't imagine what kids go through now.

I think it's possible to limit their exposure as much as we can. I've noticed my smartphone usage go way up in the past two years and have a hard time focusing, and I read at least 1-2 books a week.

I refuse to own a smartphone. I haven't owned one yet. I have a Mudita Pure on pre-order; it should be here in the spring. I'm excited. I'm addicted to the internet enough as it is with just desktop access. I'm like you; I was a huge reader as a kid too and I crave that information input.

 

[EntWife]

I worry about this. I remember when I was a kid I could sit and read encyclopedias for hours, or those "Strange Stories, Amazing Facts!" sorts of books, and when we got the internet I thought it was awesome. Except it was so much easier to come across something inappropriate or terrifying. I really miss my pre-internet brain. I can't imagine what kids go through now.

I think it's possible to limit their exposure as much as we can. I've noticed my smartphone usage go way up in the past two years and have a hard time focusing, and I read at least 1-2 books a week.

I don't allow my children on the internet at all. I also really limit what kind of movies they can watch.

 

[EntWife]

I refuse to own a smartphone. I haven't owned one yet. I have a Mudita Pure on pre-order; it should be here in the spring. I'm excited. I'm addicted to the internet enough as it is with just desktop access. I'm like you; I was a huge reader as a kid too and I crave that information input.

I don't have a smartphone either. My tablet is pretty old, and I'm considering not replacing it when it dies.

 

[Lamkins]

Early 40s here as well.

I see yall’s early forties and raise you 53! I’m the grandma around here I guess. :X

Im also remarried. My first marriage was at 20. A very, very stupid choice. We divorced a year later. I am thankful though because it taught me a lot about what I did not want in a man/marriage. Without that first bad marriage I don’t think I could’ve appreciated the wonderful qualities in my husband. Until then I had very bad taste in men. After that divorce I did a lot of soul searching and thinking.

 

[Ah_Tibor]

They also look the same too:

Probably Henpecked to condemn innocent women to death.

When all is said and done this will be looked back on as mass hysteria. My mother-in-law was arguing with me that you can't prove you DON'T have a virus that will kill her, and is now back to where we were in March (where we had to sit on the porch and they wouldn't touch us).

 

[infowarrior1]

When all is said and done this will be looked back on as mass hysteria. My mother-in-law was arguing with me that you can't prove you DON'T have a virus that will kill her, and is now back to where we were in March (where we had to sit on the porch and they wouldn't touch us).

There is a good video on Karens. Which is basically women who have swallowed the poison of entitlement:

Karens also tend to be liberal/leftist:

Men need to stay away from such women and women who will turn into Karens. And even to potentially marry them to spare themselves the misery.

They are often vengeful, short tempered, unforgiving and have a lot of spite. All because entitlement poisons their soul.

Men are less prone to spite and vengefulness.

Even from childhood they were spoiled by permissive over-parenting. Helping to lead to a very ugly personality later on.

Karens don't spring out of the Aether but was molded into what they are from childhood onwards. Mental illness also plays a role.

That being said. A lot of the explanation of why women act this way and not Men by comparison. Is that Men will get punched or shot and other ways they end up dead if they acted in a way that is out of decorum. Entitlement in that manner is less forgiven in Men.

Karens don't suffer the same consequences as a result of entitlement.