Ladies lounge (women only)

[christie2]

another attempt to dissuade me from following the Ten Commandments from the same poster, wow.

Thank you God for this ability to see patterns, I am humbled and thank you for the lessons. Much time has to pass before meeting people that also follow your Word. I get frustrated when people don't have the same perspicacity as me, same life experiences. Please give me strength O Lord, please let me keep loving them and trust in You to reveal those that are ready to accept Your Truth. I am weak and a sinner and I'm trying and will keep trying, Thank you again my dear God, I appreciate these challenges, I learn the most when I'm in despair for recognition.

I missed You for this, that's why I cry. I accept everyone and will keep loving them, Amen

Change of topic: on investments:
+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +
buying gov't bills is forcing your neighbours, other taxpayers, to be beholden to you-you're adding to the public debtload.
I successfully cashed out an investment through work that I originally thought I had picked 'cash' to be held in...no, it had been held in some unknown money market fund invested in who knows what, I don't think just 'money'
I took this small amount and immediately paid off debt.

And I investigated another pension and I cannot access until 6 more years have past and I reach the age.
It makes me sick, I've known since midAugust I'm trapped into supporting who knows what.
Thankfully a percentage of it is in reit which I pray acts ethically, but the rest could be breaking the Ten Commandments.

The only solace I have is that I successfully removed the small one and I continue to cull my book and movie and other belongings to reflect my faith. I try to be consistent with where my consumer dollar goes as well. I believe in boycotting. It works to alleviate your own spiritual angst.

My suggestion: Land is finite......
buy land. Be like Mr. FenceOpenings.

At least some type of real estate.

Research, research, research before getting tantalised by an employer or guild's pension plan.

 

[Kitty Tantrum]

It could be a fluke, but after more than a year of charting 22-23 day cycles with very light 3-day periods, since I've been more mindful of what I eat for a several weeks now, I just had a 24-day cycle with a very light 4-day period.

I wanna share this chart I've been using, because it seems to be doing something for me!



This popped up in one of my feeds "randomly" right after I'd started wondering if I ought to be eating specific foods to help with hormonal balance and fertility. I have NOT really looked at the website or social media of the person who put it together (I took a glance, and the page crashed my ancient tablet and I was like "whatever") - but I've gathered it's a guy who has been cooking for his wife to help with her PCOS, and apparently they have a baby now!

There are some foods on there that fit with "traditional knowledge" I learned growing up RE: supporting production of all the good lady-hormones, and a lot of foods I already like, so it seemed worth giving a shot.

I've been sticking to foods from these categories, and at the appropriate times, as much as I can for a couple months now - and still no baby for me yet, but my most recent cycle was just shy of 25 days, and my flow for this period is more "moderate" than "light."

Encouraging stuff!

 

[PineTreeFarmer]

I feel cheated out of my womanly duties. I got disrespected by a three year old whose father has three children with three different mother, whose mother, father, nor none of my elders corrected the very disrespectful behavior of earlier. I pray for he and his siblings and parents. And to be kind to them over their families' years in our lives.

 

[Kitty Tantrum]

Something on my mind after talking to my sister tonight (who, FWIW, is actually my ex-SIL but we've been best friends since we were 12, so I like to say that I got to keep her when her brother and I divorced, and she's MY sister now).

I have no intention of ever suing my ex-husband for unpaid child support. The family court facilitator seemed to think I was out of my mind when we were going through the dissolution process, for insisting that I did not need the state to collect payments for me - but I basically don't want any of his money unless it's paid voluntarily.

THAT BEING SAID, every so often I do the maths.

His total obligation for all the months he's technically/legally been "on the hook" recently surpassed the $100k mark.

I haven't kept track of how much he's actually sent, but it's probably somewhere in the neighborhood of 10-15% of that. Which is okay as far as numbers go. I am extraordinarily good at getting by and making do. (And I've always thought the amount they said he was supposed to pay was too much anyway.)

The thing that really gets to me is that he just makes bad decisions and squanders his money, and then turns around and asks his family for handouts (they're pretty sick of it/done with it), instead of using the forgiveness/leeway to actually make something better of his situation. And then he acts like nobody has ever done anything for him. Very sad.

I could have done so much with that money. I could have built something with it. Seen some kind of return on it. Instead it has basically evaporated, and his living conditions have really only gotten worse instead of improving.

I don't understand how someone can choose to squander their money on stupid crap instead of supporting their children. Or if it's not a "choice" - then I don't understand how he's that retarded.

At least he's not homeless. At least he's not in jail. At least he's not addicted to drugs, as far as I know. At least he's become marginally better at holding down a job. At least he loves his kids, insofar as he is able. At least he wants to have them for visitation. At least the boys love their dad and want to visit him. At least the rest of his family is pretty solid.

(At least I have children.)

It just makes me want to pull my hair out sometimes. I pray for him a lot.

 

[PineTreeFarmer]

Something on my mind after talking to my sister tonight (who, FWIW, is actually my ex-SIL but we've been best friends since we were 12, so I like to say that I got to keep her when her brother and I divorced, and she's MY sister now).

I have no intention of ever suing my ex-husband for unpaid child support. The family court facilitator seemed to think I was out of my mind when we were going through the dissolution process, for insisting that I did not need the state to collect payments for me - but I basically don't want any of his money unless it's paid voluntarily.

THAT BEING SAID, every so often I do the maths.

His total obligation for all the months he's technically/legally been "on the hook" recently surpassed the $100k mark.

I haven't kept track of how much he's actually sent, but it's probably somewhere in the neighborhood of 10-15% of that. Which is okay as far as numbers go. I am extraordinarily good at getting by and making do. (And I've always thought the amount they said he was supposed to pay was too much anyway.)

The thing that really gets to me is that he just makes bad decisions and squanders his money, and then turns around and asks his family for handouts (they're pretty sick of it/done with it), instead of using the forgiveness/leeway to actually make something better of his situation. And then he acts like nobody has ever done anything for him. Very sad.

I could have done so much with that money. I could have built something with it. Seen some kind of return on it. Instead it has basically evaporated, and his living conditions have really only gotten worse instead of improving.

I don't understand how someone can choose to squander their money on stupid crap instead of supporting their children. Or if it's not a "choice" - then I don't understand how he's that retarded.

At least he's not homeless. At least he's not in jail. At least he's not addicted to drugs, as far as I know. At least he's become marginally better at holding down a job. At least he loves his kids, insofar as he is able. At least he wants to have them for visitation. At least the boys love their dad and want to visit him. At least the rest of his family is pretty solid.

(At least I have children.)

It just makes me want to pull my hair out sometimes. I pray for him a lot.

I'm sorry you're experiencing this stress. Divorce is hard. I'll be praying for your peace.

 

[Starlight]

.

 

[Starlight]

Something on my mind after talking to my sister tonight (who, FWIW, is actually my ex-SIL but we've been best friends since we were 12, so I like to say that I got to keep her when her brother and I divorced, and she's MY sister now).

I have no intention of ever suing my ex-husband for unpaid child support. The family court facilitator seemed to think I was out of my mind when we were going through the dissolution process, for insisting that I did not need the state to collect payments for me - but I basically don't want any of his money unless it's paid voluntarily.

THAT BEING SAID, every so often I do the maths.

His total obligation for all the months he's technically/legally been "on the hook" recently surpassed the $100k mark.

I haven't kept track of how much he's actually sent, but it's probably somewhere in the neighborhood of 10-15% of that. Which is okay as far as numbers go. I am extraordinarily good at getting by and making do. (And I've always thought the amount they said he was supposed to pay was too much anyway.)

The thing that really gets to me is that he just makes bad decisions and squanders his money, and then turns around and asks his family for handouts (they're pretty sick of it/done with it), instead of using the forgiveness/leeway to actually make something better of his situation. And then he acts like nobody has ever done anything for him. Very sad.

I could have done so much with that money. I could have built something with it. Seen some kind of return on it. Instead it has basically evaporated, and his living conditions have really only gotten worse instead of improving.

I don't understand how someone can choose to squander their money on stupid crap instead of supporting their children. Or if it's not a "choice" - then I don't understand how he's that retarded.

At least he's not homeless. At least he's not in jail. At least he's not addicted to drugs, as far as I know. At least he's become marginally better at holding down a job. At least he loves his kids, insofar as he is able. At least he wants to have them for visitation. At least the boys love their dad and want to visit him. At least the rest of his family is pretty solid.

(At least I have children.)

It just makes me want to pull my hair out sometimes. I pray for him a lot.

The hard truth is that it’s not your money.

 

[Kitty Tantrum]

The hard truth is that it’s not your money.

Of course. That's actually easy enough.

don't want any of his money

squanders his money,

how someone can choose to squander their money

The harder thing is that they're his children, and I have to teach them to respect and honor a father who has done little if anything to earn it beyond giving them life.

That actually cost me thousands of dollars of my own money in the earlier years after we split. Trying to make sure he didn't get evicted for nonpayment of rent, so the kids would have a comfortable place to visit/stay with him. Trying to make sure he didn't run away out of state where they couldn't see him as often. Shouldering a hefty portion of their travel expenses to go see him after he up and ran away out of state anyway, after getting evicted for basically trashing his place. Etc.

Also in the category of "not my money" - not being able to apply for any kind of assistance (food stamps, etc., which I'm very nearly too proud to do anyway - but there were some times the cupboards got awfully bare) because qualification would hinge on fessing up and telling the state that he was not paying anything. (The state is evil and does not want us to cooperate, I remind myself every time the thought creeps in.)

And aside from commiserating with his my sister (she rented a house to him, and the amount of money he has cost her on various things and stiffed her on rent is INSANE), and griping anonymously on the internet, I basically just have to smile and keep my mouth shut beyond saying "thank you" on the few occasions where he does manage to cover any of the kids' expenses.

I feel like it is the correct thing to do. And there is a faint glimmer of hope that the worst and hardest of it may have passed, and he might be showing some signs of maturation and improvement. But HARD is definitely the word.

Edit to add: it's also hard to have to explain to the kids that we can't afford a lot of the "fun" things their dad blows his money on, hard to teach them about how important it is to secure all of the necessities before spending on luxuries, without FEELING like I'm putting their dad down - even though I never mention him or his poor habits. He's such a glaring example of the exact opposite of the correct principle, if I succeed in teaching them correct principles, his failures will become obvious to them as they get older. That hurts.

 

[Starlight]

Of course. That's actually easy enough.




The harder thing is that they're his children, and I have to teach them to respect and honor a father who has done little if anything to earn it beyond giving them life.

That actually cost me thousands of dollars of my own money in the earlier years after we split. Trying to make sure he didn't get evicted for nonpayment of rent, so the kids would have a comfortable place to visit/stay with him. Trying to make sure he didn't run away out of state where they couldn't see him as often. Shouldering a hefty portion of their travel expenses to go see him after he up and ran away out of state anyway, after getting evicted for basically trashing his place. Etc.

Also in the category of "not my money" - not being able to apply for any kind of assistance (food stamps, etc., which I'm very nearly too proud to do anyway - but there were some times the cupboards got awfully bare) because qualification would hinge on fessing up and telling the state that he was not paying anything. (The state is evil and does not want us to cooperate, I remind myself every time the thought creeps in.)

And aside from commiserating with his my sister (she rented a house to him, and the amount of money he has cost her on various things and stiffed her on rent is INSANE), and griping anonymously on the internet, I basically just have to smile and keep my mouth shut beyond saying "thank you" on the few occasions where he does manage to cover any of the kids' expenses.

I feel like it is the correct thing to do. And there is a faint glimmer of hope that the worst and hardest of it may have passed, and he might be showing some signs of maturation and improvement. But HARD is definitely the word.

Edit to add: it's also hard to have to explain to the kids that we can't afford a lot of the "fun" things their dad blows his money on, hard to teach them about how important it is to secure all of the necessities before spending on luxuries, without FEELING like I'm putting their dad down - even though I never mention him or his poor habits. He's such a glaring example of the exact opposite of the correct principle, if I succeed in teaching them correct principles, his failures will become obvious to them as they get older. That hurts.

Kids are resilient. As caring parents, sometimes it’s harder on us than our children when we see important people in their lives fail them because we only want the best for them. Your kids are really fortunate to have such a selfless and devoted mother.

 

[Mrs.DanielH]

I recently started looking into dietary recommendations for supporting fertility (my husband changed his mind about not wanting children and is now trying to knock me up... prayer works, ladies!! ), and apparently whenever I'm on my period, I have a pretty good excuse to eat a bunch of my favorite things.

I've been stuffing my face with beets, kale, mushrooms, seaweed, blueberries, and pork for a few days. It's pretty great.

Not much else is great about periods, so I'll take it!

I saw a NaPro doctor, they specialize in women's health and fertility issues. She recommended 200mg CoQ-10 daily for egg health, and said Zinc is really important for male fertility. I believe fish (or fish oil) is also good for both.

As far as diet, eggs! Eggs are high in selenium, which very important for a healthy pregnancy, a few sources I read suggested eating 2 eggs per day. Another random thing that may or may not help- Yams (not sweet potatoes) like actual Yams are linked to higher cases of twins because it aides in your hormones.

Anyway, God Bless you and your husband on this journey and may His will be done.

 

[Lucy Mansfield]

Just came across this recently, and hope y'all don't mind me sharing it here. Fr. Hans Jacobse is one of my favorite, very traditionally inclined priests, and I'm willing to bet most of y'all on here already agree with him on these topics. Still curious to hear if you have any thoughts on what he said though.

Patriarchy Defends Us from Homosexualism, Feminism, & Cultural Marxism, Says Orthodox Priest

Feminism destoys women in order to destroy men, to make us forget the Fatherhood of God . . .

gorthodox.com

 

[messaggera]

Just came across this recently, and hope y'all don't mind me sharing it here. Fr. Hans Jacobse is one of my favorite, very traditionally inclined priests, and I'm willing to bet most of y'all on here already agree with him on these topics. Still curious to hear if you have any thoughts on what he said though.

Patriarchy Defends Us from Homosexualism, Feminism, & Cultural Marxism, Says Orthodox Priest

Feminism destoys women in order to destroy men, to make us forget the Fatherhood of God . . .

gorthodox.com

Excellent find and share Lucy! Thank you.
The speech is very accurate and filled with truth!

Be nice to see the speech shared and spread like wild fire.

What is Patriarchy? Patriarchy is basically this - that hierarchy exists, and at the very top of the hierarchy is God the Father. And those who see and know, and have adopted it into their hearts, they are the ones who have created the culture against which the cultural barbarians, the secularists, now are trying to destroy.

And they understand that it's fundamentally a spiritual battle, because in attacking Patriarchy, in the end, they attack the Christian religion, knowing that it stands against their utopian and egalitarian dreams. . . .

Embracing feminism, as a culture, contributes to the rot.

 

[PineTreeFarmer]

I have a question about Orthodoxy;

In the Orthodox Jewish faith they have a mikvah where women have ritual cleansing after their periods, and in the space itself they have a little beauty parlor type thing that leads into and out of the pool. I would not know this if I hadn't cleaned for a Jewish Orthodox faith base in Savannah, Ga when I was younger.

Do Eastern Orthodox women have anything like that? I was thinking about how hard it would be to braid my own hair with more complex braids... What does the self care and beauty end of female Eastern Orthodoxy look like?

Edit* I think braiding someone else's hair is one of the greatest acts of sisterly love. And as much as I have braided someone else's hair and shown up just to braid, only two people in my entire life have ever braided my hair; my cousin who does hair professionally, and my Dad, who learned to braid his sister's hair as a kid. Of dice girls, only one had hair long enough to braid. He never let me cut my hair as a kid.

 

[EntWife]

I have a question about Orthodoxy;

In the Orthodox Jewish faith they have a mikvah where women have ritual cleansing after their periods, and in the space itself they have a little beauty parlor type thing that leads into and out of the pool. I would not know this if I hadn't cleaned for a Jewish Orthodox faith base in Savannah, Ga when I was younger.

Do Eastern Orthodox women have anything like that? I was thinking about how hard it would be to braid my own hair with more complex braids... What does the self care and beauty end of female Eastern Orthodoxy look like?

Edit* I think braiding someone else's hair is one of the greatest acts of sisterly love. And as much as I have braided someone else's hair and shown up just to braid, only two people in my entire life have ever braided my hair; my cousin who does hair professionally, and my Dad, who learned to braid his sister's hair as a kid. Of dice girls, only one had hair long enough to braid. He never let me cut my hair as a kid.

No, we aren't ritually unclean on our periods, so there is no need of anything like that afterwards. It's against the canons of the church to take Holy Communion while bleeding for any reason, which would include bleeding at "that time of the month". I think there is an exception to that if someone is dying though.

Other than not taking communion because of the bleeding (not unclean, just bleeding), life goes on as normal.

 

[PineTreeFarmer]

No, we aren't ritually unclean on our periods, so there is no need of anything like that afterwards. It's against the canons of the church to take Holy Communion while bleeding for any reason, which would include bleeding at "that time of the month". I think there is an exception to that if someone is dying though.

Other than not taking communion because of the bleeding (not unclean, just bleeding), life goes on as normal.

Do you learn this from your mother, or during confirmation?

 

[EntWife]

Do you learn this from your mother, or during confirmation?

My mother is not Orthodox, so definitely didn't hear it from her. I think maybe my godmother told me? It was almost 20 years ago so I'm not entirely sure who initially told me about this.

Since then, I've heard the same thing from priests and read it in various Orthodox sources. Maybe I can ask Treebeard if he knows a good source for this. He's more likely than I am to remember where something is found.

 

[IconWriter]

It is a better question to ask your priest. It doesn't hold true in our church, as we can commune anytime of the month.

 

[EntWife]

It is a better question to ask your priest. It doesn't hold true in our church, as we can commune anytime of the month.

Really? I thought every Orthodox jurisdiction did this. Maybe it's something old calendar parishes still do, but new calendar parishes don't? We're at a new calendar parish now so maybe I should ask.

 

[Owlet]

Maybe it's something old calendar parishes still do,

Not im my old calendar parish. We even offer a booklet condemning the idea.

 

[EntWife]

Not im my old calendar parish. We even offer a booklet condemning the idea.

Is it a booklet that is for sale somewhere online, that you can provide a link to? I'd love to see it.

Treebeard says he's going to ask our current priest about it. I'm pretty sure we've never asked him.