Living with Parents

Roosh

Cardinal
Orthodox
You could call it "world angst", but I want a wife and kids. In my mind, I am obeying God's command of "be fruitful and multiply" by aggressively pursuing this.
From my perspective, you personally desire the wife and kids and are using a verse in the Old Testament to justify it. St. Paul does say that we could be single like him, and many monks have chosen this path. Do you believe that St. Paul and many other saints, monks, nuns, and others with strong faith disobeyed God by not being able to have children? I would ask God if it is His will for you to have children. It's possible that He has a different path for you, or perhaps you are not yet where He wants you to buy before sending you a wife.
 
From my perspective, you personally desire the wife and kids and are using a verse in the Old Testament to justify it. St. Paul does say that we could be single like him, and many monks have chosen this path. Do you believe that St. Paul and many other saints, monks, nuns, and others with strong faith disobeyed God by not being able to have children? I would ask God if it is His will for you to have children. It's possible that He has a different path for you, or perhaps you are not yet where He wants you to buy before sending you a wife.

I think it is interesting the different outlooks we have.

Fundamentally I think I put more emphasis on free will and less on divine intervention. The angst/stress that I feel I think is a kick in the pants from God to go make something of myself, get a woman, and create a family.

I am interested in your strategy of fully devoting yourself to god and seeing what he brings your way. I hope to best come to you and he makes your purpose on this world clear
 

Brendan Rivers

Pigeon
Trad Catholic
Hello Westernman,

I am a 29 year old man also living with my parents. I moved back to them after 9-years living on my own and together with my ex. Main reason was that I wanted to go back to the country and devote time to the faith. I was burned-out from the single/solo/citylife. I do sometimes also get the fealing of being set back. But this was mainly the first months back when Covid hit.

But the ultimate truth is that you have time to develop yourself. There is a lot of spare time and oppertunity. What works for me for example is cooking for more people. My parents love it when I experiment with a new recipe to master. Same as Roosh does with pizza and baking. I don't know how your relationship is with your parents, but there is also an oppertunity to strengthen the bond and to surprise them, I had a really troublesome youth with my father. He is old now and I am older. I forgave him and spend now time on him that I lost in the past by "running away" from him.

I can relate with the feeling of being stuck sometimes as time flies by and the progression is slim to none. That is where skills, relationships, developing your faith come in. In the Netherlands its very difficult to buy a house now. I have accepted that I maybe have to stay for 2 more years. But I put aside my focus on being stuck and going nowhere. This is not helping. I hope this advice can be of use. God bless.

P.S. maybe you can bunk at a friend or a relative sometimes. I plan those sometimes as little holidays.
 

papashango

Sparrow
Non-Christian
There seems to be something about the age range 24-30 where a lot of men suffer a kind of existential crisis. I was definitely the same.

For what it's worth, I'm about to turn 34, and have lived away from home (and in foreign countries) since I was 19. Last Christmas my dad suffered a major stroke leaving him severely impaired - it's a miracle he survived. I decided to move back home (from 6,000 miles away) to help my mother with his care and therapy. I'm convinced that the last 10 months would have broken them both had they been alone. It wasn't a hard decision to make to be honest, as I care about my family, but it did mean completely upending my life and starting at zero again.

I feel a lot of "world angst" - 'no women will be interested', 'I have no social life', 'what must people think' etc. But from a spiritual perspective I can see that it's been a blessing. My previously combative relationship with my father has melted away, he's opened up and become much softer and appreciative, and a family once pre-occupied with the mundanity and low-level anxiety of modern life has been brought closer together.

Having said all that, my situation is different to the OP. In your shoes at 24, I think it's good you have a desire to "do something more", and that's an energy you can draw on. I think you have to ask yourself what will strengthen your soul/spirit, and that could be staying at home or taking flight, depending on your situation. A lot of guys never leave home because they're afraid, and equally I know people who travel the lengths of the Earth endlessly, 100% fuelled by fear.

It seems from your post that your main objective in life is to have a wife and kids. Nothing wrong with wanting a family, but it doesn't come with any guarantees. What's more, you'll probably reek of desperation to any woman within half a mile - in your own words, you won't be able to "start life" until that's all locked down. It seems you don't have an obvious 'interest' or 'passion' (I hate that word), which is fine and normal, but you should be focussed on building yourself as a competent man with a broad skillset. The campervan idea sounds like a cool one to me, especially for someone your age. Travel around, create some stories for yourself, go and do an apprenticeship in something for a year - it sounds like you have a decent amount saved up as a cushion if it doesn't all work out. You're not in a bad position mate. You could be back at home when you're my age :laughter:
 
Massachusetts is one of the more expensive places to live in the US. Have you considered moving to a cheaper state?

I have. I'm considering moving to a lot of places, including Europe.

I make OK money here (now 25 an hour, construction), but still not enough to justify paying rent on a crap apartment just so I can try and date progressive women.

An opportunity like the oilfields, where you live at work and earn big bucks would be ideal for me and a lot of guys in my situation.
 

JCSteel

Pigeon
Other Christian
I moved back in with my parents when I was 39. That was over 3 years ago, and I'm still there. Financially it was one of the best decisions I ever made. I saved 35K and bought a new car. I'm also glad I wasn't all alone when I suffered kidney stones and got Covid. Moving home was kind of like intense immersion therapy, in terms of my struggles to get along with both my parents, and I learned a lot about all three of us. When it comes to relationships, it has cost me a few dates here and there but most women didn't make an issue out it.
 

Blade Runner

Crow
Orthodox
I'm starting to see or think that this isn't as bad as some claim, but maybe you can make a hybrid out of it. The point is that at this current state of Real Estate and the state of women in the USA, if you are mid to late 30s or slightly older, why would you get ripped off on any home or even rental place, since it doesn't even matter regarding women? The same reasoning would involve getting "a nice car". Do any of you all travel to better locations and then come back to family members places just to crash before you move on to something else? Obviously moving around that much is super annoying, but I don't know what the best choice is regarding trying to parlay the better cultures overseas and then coming back home. Thoughts?
 

Mr Freedom

Woodpecker
Orthodox Inquirer
Been living with the Parents since 2019

Like another dude said it will cost you a few dates but the trade off is that you are living with someone loyal and you know your parents wont stab you in the back.

In fact me and my old man built a small log cabin recentley. It felt good. Masculine work just talking about life and what not.
 

WesternPilgrim

Pigeon
Protestant
If I were back in my homeland and single I would definitely live with my mother. She is aging, and this would afford me countless opportunities to 'honor my mother', as God desires. The money difference I'd partly save and partly use to support my mother throughout retirement. That to me sounds like a blessed life.
 

cosine

Kingfisher
I'm starting to see or think that this isn't as bad as some claim, but maybe you can make a hybrid out of it. The point is that at this current state of Real Estate and the state of women in the USA, if you are mid to late 30s or slightly older, why would you get ripped off on any home or even rental place, since it doesn't even matter regarding women? The same reasoning would involve getting "a nice car". Do any of you all travel to better locations and then come back to family members places just to crash before you move on to something else? Obviously moving around that much is super annoying, but I don't know what the best choice is regarding trying to parlay the better cultures overseas and then coming back home. Thoughts?
Bought a fixer-upper, remodeled the kitchen, roughly half DIY. A skilled carpenter did the important stuff.

Put an "owner's lock" on a closet, and rented it out on airbnb. A friend managed it for a cut while I traveled abroad for 2 months.

Came back and had my own place all to myself.
 

Road2Damascus

Sparrow
Orthodox Inquirer
I'm starting to see or think that this isn't as bad as some claim, but maybe you can make a hybrid out of it. The point is that at this current state of Real Estate and the state of women in the USA, if you are mid to late 30s or slightly older, why would you get ripped off on any home or even rental place, since it doesn't even matter regarding women? The same reasoning would involve getting "a nice car". Do any of you all travel to better locations and then come back to family members places just to crash before you move on to something else? Obviously moving around that much is super annoying, but I don't know what the best choice is regarding trying to parlay the better cultures overseas and then coming back home. Thoughts?

I live alone, but if I could go back I would continue to live with family. I've done well saving, but if I did my savings would be even greater.

There is also an even more important benefit and that's in your faith and spiritual life. Living alone leads to more opportunity for sin because nobody is watching you. If you have a conservative family, there is a much lower chance of engaging in sinful behavior because of their watch and the eventual shame that would result.
 

Chiosboy90

Woodpecker
Living with parents I do think is a good thing if you have a good-okayish relationship with them. Also I aggree very much that living alone is very tempting situation to sin. Alcohol, women, porn, gaming too much, eating junk food etc. No one will shame you about it.

Dating wise of course it will cost you some dates but I dont think good Christian women would care that much and the others should be avoided anyway. I moved out with 19 and there is no way that I could have moved back because my parents are very negative people and after some hours you feel the physical need to get away from them. If you have parents that arent good for your mental and spiritual health then its better to pay the slave rent and be in peace.
 
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Blade Runner

Crow
Orthodox
Isn't it easier, much easier, to live with parents than siblings or other people your same age? I think when you get to be over 30, most people and their idiosyncrasies, if you aren't poor and thus have to live with others, are annoying as F
 
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