Lost My Job - An Introspection

Status
Not open for further replies.

Cobra

Hummingbird
Gold Member
The hammer

Just found out I’ll be losing my job soon. I know this is imminent. I couldn’t find too many threads with a lot of personal accounts of similar situations; hence I thought I would share my experience and thoughts.

So this is more of an introspection that some to identify with if you can. Or maybe it will resonate with those that have been in similar situations or help those who could run into them in their future.

For the record, this is no sympathy call and I’m not down or depressed. If I was, let’s face it, I’d be fucked. That being said, to be honest I wouldn’t be human if I wasn’t feeling some form of dread. This is considering I’ve had about 4 jobs in the last 3 years, 3 in the last two. I’m in Finance/Accounting.

Coping

How do I cope? It’s a game right? People that have met me (including some of you on the forum) know that I can have a good time and chill. However, as far as game goes, I’m a relative newbie. This means, I have focused more on self-improvement in the past few years and less on gaming at work, gaming women, or gaming socially overall. Now, before you tell me “Cobra those are so different; you have to do both,” I agree with you. However, let me also acknowledge that a deep connection exists between game and self-improvement especially for someone who has discovered it at a later age. From that, I mean that I have amassed both responsibilities and resulting logistical issues that preclude any extensive gaming. I’m still in the process of fusing these wires together somehow.

Ghosts of the past

I was never a particularly assertive person if you met me more than 2 years ago. That being said, I then started to acknowledge that assertiveness is necessary for success in my line of work given high profile clients and working at the largest accounting firms or companies. It’s unlike the accounting jobs where you sit at a desk and handle spreadsheets. In the past when I left a job, I looked for a new one. My last job, I even got a month’s worth of free pay to look for another job, which I wouldn’t have got without at least some game. However, this time, it’s different. I have always been shafted by Corporations (at least 4 times from different Corporations in the last 2 years! At least in the military they shafted face to face, not the doggystyle surprise technique the Corporations employ. To clarify, this means you get shafted from behind and by surprise.

Negativity (stress) versus Positivity (opportunity)

Problem is that doggystyle surprise gets old. While surprising to most of the sheep, this very situation creates another opportunity to assess next steps in life. Let me put it this way: I wouldn’t have had this opportunity had there not been a random change happening at my current employer. I would have gone on with my mundane “safe” desk job and never thought for a minute about why I’m not really adding much value to myself for 8 – 12 hours a day.

So, I see myself having some choices. For someone with my family baggage, these are still EXTREMELY TOUGH to implement especially given the kids. This can easily be a negative (stress) inducer in and of itself; and it was when it happened to me 2 years ago. However, after having taken the red pill, there is a certain calm to my being that reduces that stress to a coping level. It’s more the result of SEEING the world for 1+ years with the red pill rather than taking the pill itself. So, surprisingly, I’m seeing this more as an obstacle to surpass and opportunity to hone my skills for MYSELF rather than a stress inducer that will cause me to immediately look for another mundane job.

My Options

I have listed my options from most mundane on top to more exciting to most reasonable on the bottom. A bell curve if you will.
• Find another mundane job
• Find another mundane job with some international travel (hmm)
• Take a decent amount of time off to set up infrastructure and relationships to start my own business (cons are no income and risk to family)
• Do Contract work where I can do a little of both

In somewhat of a sidebar, while I was having these thoughts, I stumbled across a Danger & Play podcast regarding Personal Finance. If I was listening to MikeCF and Jay in the absence of my current situation, maybe I would have brushed it off as another manosphere podcast. But not this time. That podcast resonated well. Props to MikeCF and I will let him know personally that some messages have the effect of reaching people at the right place and time.

The Man and his cronies

The man dictates and creates the frame that others jump into, implicitly asking them to sacrifice their own frame in the process. I’m one of these “others.”My point here is that employees DO NOT exist to serve themselves. It’s a fact I’ve experienced for over 8 years in Corporate America.

Example: When the CFO wants something, there is a whole team of people there to execute his strategy but none of these people understand the reasoning behind the strategy or the “why” factor. Even if they know, it is usually too late or downright futile to challenge the reasoning. They just know their piece and are content to execute that piece. The execution of that piece can often times exhaust them to a point where they don’t even care about the strategy. This may not be true with all professions but it is with Finance/Accounting no matter what people tell me. “But Cobra, I analyze financials and find cost savings for my company,” or “I found a million dollar mistake in the financials.” That’s great but do you realize that you’re you don’t see a piece of those savings? Or that you have just contributed to someone else’s bonus inadvertently (possibly because you’re too low on the totem pole to see a piece of that).

Anyways, when you don’t have a choice and don’t know any better, I don’t blame you for not taking a hiatus to explore yourself and your potential. Also, I’m not saying this exists at the same level at every single company. However, the FRAME ABSORPTION to the man does exist no matter what since this man is always there with his cock loaded ready to shoot cumloads into open and willing (or unsuspecting) mouths.

For me, I’m at a crossroads, at which I need to decide if mindless execution is my future. I’m a creative person and always was. I took on this highly mechanical profession as a safety net because I knew I would always find employment. This isn’t unlike a multitude of men that we in the manosphere.

One thing is for sure, there will be layoffs. I can be like the 90% of the employees that will follow my first choice above. Or, I can be like the 10%, take lots of risk and possibly even lose a lot financially. But having taken the red pill, I think heavily about MY best interest more than I ever have and that my friends, is refreshing.

Next steps

For me it’s back to the drawing board. What I can do for now is that I can help others navigate Corporate America at least in my profession. Meaning, I’ve navigated the job market enough in Corporate America that I can easily share a few tips and post a thread/article regarding what you can do out there to see traps ahead. As for me, I may forego that job market and get my own thing started. I’ll need advice and hopefully I can get it from anyone willing out here or out there. More to come…

Of course, your thoughts are not only welcome but appreciated in my current state of affairs :)
 

2014

 
As you are in Finance/Accounting..

get your feet out of the country and go somewhere that has a high demand.

There are dozens of countries that need that skill and you can command high wages there as well as a higher quality of life. gl
 

2014

 
Cobra said:
@MidniteSpecial - yep got 2; 3rd pops out in June.

so are you stuck in the country?

are you the 'man of the house' or the provider?

If you are the former, then look online and find some jobs in your field a bit further afield.

If you're the latter, then explain to your dearest other that without money your kids are going to suffer AND she will suffer. She will have to suffer either way, stay where you are and your kids suffer and she suffers, move and she suffers (loses social scene, status etc) but your kids won't have to. In fact, they may move up in life... better education, area, etc.

My uncle moved his family to China about 8 years ago as an engineer. Everyone said he was crazy. 8 years later he now runs another plan in Africa with 100,000 employees as well as having the most productive plant in China on his resume. My cousins, his kids, went to the best school in Beijing for 5 years and now can speak Chinese, (both Cantonese and Mandarin) along with English and their lives are now infinitely better than if they'd have stayed put in the UK.

So have a look around the world and take your best shot bro!
 

Cobra

Hummingbird
Gold Member
^^^Good advice.

Internet unfortunately doesn't help much in figuring out the market overseas. BUT would love to explore it if there is in fact potential there.

To add, I'm reaching out to my network overseas to see if anything can go through at that angle.

I'm also exploring a CPA business that I'd like to keep growing over the years.
 

samsamsam

Peacock
Gold Member
Sorry to hear Cobra.

I was going to offer some thoughts but given that you have kids, I guess they wouldn't be relevant/applicable.

It seems like you have changed jobs regularly (maybe not intentionally). May I suggest, that you look at why it is happening, if there is a consistent pattern. I know you talked about assertiveness and some other items.

For example, I have a friend from school. He is probably the smartest person I have ever met. But he is a terrible political animal in a corporate setting. He doesn't think it matters but it does. I am coaching him this time around in his new gig. He just looks down on people who waste time on nonsense but the nonsense is necessary in a corporate environment. He doesn't build social relationships well at work.

Hang in there.
 

iknowexactly

Crow
Gold Member
In every organization, there is the Stated Agenda (SA) and the Real Agenda. (RA)

They are _never_ the same.

In my fairly unsuccessful corporate career, I got in a lot of trouble acting as if the SA was the RA.

Watch what everyone does instead of says, and you will see the real agenda.

Unless you've been hired as the CEO or specifically as a change agent, follow the real agenda.
 

Cobra

Hummingbird
Gold Member
samsamsam said:
It seems like you have changed jobs regularly (maybe not intentionally). May I suggest, that you look at why it is happening, if there is a consistent pattern. I know you talked about assertiveness and some other items.

I didn't give this much thought until you mentioned it. That's one of the reasons I like the forum - focusing thoughts differently that people normally would have. More below.

iknowexactly said:
Unless you've been hired as the CEO or specifically as a change agent, follow the real agenda.

To be honest I'm tired of Corporate America. The funny thing is RA or SA, they both serve the MAN. Most people (including me) follow it to get paid. Few like it. The more prominent and relevant question for me and also the most difficult one is that if I cultivated that energy and applied it to run something I was truly passionate about, will it end up providing higher returns. It's a difficult thought to fully grasp and likely not one that I will grasp until I put things into action. I'm going through that process at this time but man it will be a struggle.
 

Sonsowey

Hummingbird
Gold Member
Taking a little time off after losing a job can be wonderful.

I lost my job and was on unemployment for a few months before finding another gig. Fucked way more girls when I was broke and unemployed than when I was working. You just have more time for it.

Of course you could take this time to establish a consulting business, my state allowed entrepeneurs to receive unemployment without proving work search, and if you start making a little money, you just report it and your unemployment checks continue but are adjusted down, depending on what you make.

Or you could dedicate the time to learning a new skill, getting in shape, learning a language, travelling, whatever.

Maybe you would enjoy a little leisure time while finding a better gig. Unemployment can be like 1600 or so a month, for what its worth. It is taxed as income though.
 

samsamsam

Peacock
Gold Member
Cobra,

I don't think there is nothing wrong with working for the Man. Some are good with it and they learn how to play the game.

Some realize they can't, those are the ones that have a period of struggle (sometimes) while establishing what works for them.

I worked for the man, got my MBA, went back to the Man, built a nest egg and then did my thing.

I am just suggesting that the Man sometimes gives us coverage/protection while we build our plan. Because I have watched too many survival shows, think of the man as the cave on a deserted island keeping you dry while you build your canoe to escape :)

You might have to go back to the Man one more time, but this time you'll have the fire to build your canoe.
 
Not sure of your financial situation but in many ways losing a job can be a blessing if you have some savings and aren't check to check. I've been wanting to take an extended roadtrip, been contemplating living out a a van for a few months or maybe even a cheap sailboat. Knowing I have a job is kinda keeping me from doing so along iwth some other issues iwth my side biz.

I know for myself it's easy to get comfortable at a job like my current job and not challenge myself because I hate the whole process of finding a job as well as starting a new job and learning the ropes. Sometimes losing a job is a push to do just that. Also if you do any freelance type stuff or want to start a small business perfect time to do it betwen jobs while you continue searching. Best of luck
 

Yeti

Kingfisher
Gold Member
Cobra said:
The hammer

Just found out I’ll be losing my job soon. I know this is imminent. I couldn’t find too many threads with a lot of personal accounts of similar situations; hence I thought I would share my experience and thoughts.

Thank you for the thoughtful post. There is value in reflecting with others on the ups, and the downs of life.
 

iknowexactly

Crow
Gold Member
Cobra said:
....will it end up providing higher returns.

If you work hard and long enough on your passion project it might well pay off.

The hard part most people run into is paying the System Dues ( food rent) while they are trying to work on something besides what Capital wants them to.
 

Yeti

Kingfisher
Gold Member
iknowexactly said:
In every organization, there is the Stated Agenda (SA) and the Real Agenda. (RA)

They are _never_ the same.

In my fairly unsuccessful corporate career, I got in a lot of trouble acting as if the SA was the RA.

Watch what everyone does instead of says, and you will see the real agenda.

Unless you've been hired as the CEO or specifically as a change agent, follow the real agenda.

Fucking brilliant.
 

Cobra

Hummingbird
Gold Member
samsamsam said:
Cobra,

I don't think there is nothing wrong with working for the Man. Some are good with it and they learn how to play the game.

Some realize they can't, those are the ones that have a period of struggle (sometimes) while establishing what works for them.

I worked for the man, got my MBA, went back to the Man, built a nest egg and then did my thing.

I am just suggesting that the Man sometimes gives us coverage/protection while we build our plan. Because I have watched too many survival shows, think of the man as the cave on a deserted island keeping you dry while you build your canoe to escape :)

You might have to go back to the Man one more time, but this time you'll have the fire to build your canoe.

I don't disagree, honest. I'll just put my own practical perspective on it.

What bothers me is the emotional turmoil that's going full blast in me right now. This is quite possibly driven primarily by my history of switching jobs about 4 times in the last 2 years. I'm only able to use my red pill mindset to calm this storm to an extent.

As far as struggle, I do struggle. However, I also know how to navigate the waters at least in my piece of the profession, which over the years I have somehow gotten very good at. However, the problem for me is deciding whether to go back to this "safe" harbor or try something else. The safe harbor unfortunately seems like too boring an option. So if I am actually going to divert, I would really like to divert to something that I invest in for my own.

Of course, like you allude to, it's tough to reconcile this "desire" with the reality of a large period of income loss. This unfortunately, is a thought I wake up to every morning and go to sleep with every night.
 

samsamsam

Peacock
Gold Member
Cobra,

As long as you can swing it, go with your heart and do your own thing. It can seriously crush a man's soul working for someone else. I don't know your financial situation, but you mentioned you had kids, so I was suggesting a route that would make the transition to your own thing less painful financially. I wish you the very best and sometimes these unexpected job transitions can be a blessing, they just don't seem like it during the moment.
 

simdog87

Pigeon
Losing a job can offer to much free time in my opinion plus you can become blaise about your savings. I wish I relaxed in the past when jobs ended rather than stressing. What I spent I could have went on a lavish Holiday.

I can see how it can crush people. Save for a rainy day.
 

Cobra

Hummingbird
Gold Member
I thought I would put out an update.

Two options:

If I quit I will have MORE TIME (freedom) but less income. This is more time to pursue my “goals” full time.

If I don’t quit, I will have LESS TIME and MORE Income. However, the question is this: Do I really need to pursue my goals “full-time?”

I honestly was going to put in a notice tomorrow and be done in another two weeks. It would have been SO EASY.

However, I realized after talking to a good friend and thinking about some of the posts here as well that I DON’T NEED TO QUIT in order to make progress on my goals. It’s just that the progress will be SLOWER. (some of the credit goes to samsamsam) I liken this to my progress in game which is also slower due to logistical constraints.

The truth is, in order to get a successful CPA business off the ground, there are a lot of factors, considerations and experiences necessary. I just needed to go to some local CPAs websites to get that wisdom and calm my somewhat frivolous urge to have freedom whilst putting my family in financial turmoil.

Addendum (initial list of things I need to do to get my business up and running):
• Research loan options for starting a business. No fucking clue yet as to what I need and how to get it.
• Research old school marketing options (figure out where and to who I can offer free services/presentations)
• Learn digital marketing (Start with Yelp)
• Take a Certified Financial Planner course (depletes $7k)
• Be a member and become active in Chamber of Commerce
• Network on Linkedin as much as possible
• Troll you guys for business :razz: Kidding

Feel free to add thoughts.
 

samsamsam

Peacock
Gold Member
^^ plus if you quit you lose unemployment. If you work on your plan now, get let go, unemployment hopefully smooths out your situation a bit until your plan is ready to go.

Congrats on coming up with your strategy!

Best of luck!
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top