Marrying a woman who makes more money than you...

[lunchmoney]

My best friend's ex moved up the corporate ladder and eventually eclipsed his income and "status", which was the tipping point in the end of their relationship. As she moved up in her career, she was introduced to new, more financially powerful men who unfortunately did not care about the wedding vows they took. You can guess what happened next.

 

[westernman]

Funny, I have been thinking about this same thing lately.

For whatever reason, I attract rich girls. I'm middle class but have a deep mind. I met this girl (online) who I got to talking to, and she told (and showed) me how much makes trading stocks. let's just say wow...

At first, I started blasting her, saying it will be very hard for her to find a husband who feels dominant to her because of her crazy high income. Then I realized she is just doing what she is able to, and wants a husband and children (rather desperately). She is 25. Hearing her explain how her main goal of it is to achieve an independent homsteding life with a big family. She kind of changed my outlook a bit.

In general, however, I would say a woman making more money than you in backward and should be avoided. There should be codependency, and she should be dependant on you to provide.

 

[bmw633]

Funny, I have been thinking about this same thing lately.

For whatever reason, I attract rich girls. I'm middle class but have a deep mind. I met this girl (online) who I got to talking to, and she told (and showed) me how much makes trading stocks. let's just say wow...

At first, I started blasting her, saying it will be very hard for her to find a husband who feels dominant to her because of her crazy high income. Then I realized she is just doing what she is able to, and wants a husband and children (rather desperately). She is 25. Hearing her explain how her main goal of it is to achieve an independent homsteding life with a big family. She kind of changed my outlook a bit.

In general, however, I would say a woman making more money than you in backward and should be avoided. There should be codependency, and she should be dependant on you to provide.

She might be a good catch. Maybe she has a knack for day trading.

 

[Jive Turkey]

@westernman I second what BMW is saying. If a woman is good at trading stocks, I don't see why she should leave money on the table just to assuage the hypothetical feelings of some hypothetical man who may or may not come along. In this day and age it is expected (from society) that a woman go out and become a good submissive, obedient wife to her employer. Make sure that big daddy corporation is never cross with her, and that she is always a good conscientious wife contributing to his estate.

Women are just wired to follow the crowd. Unfortunately the corporation has become the new family/husband of the modern woman, and that is just the way things are. In my opinion, it is more of a red flag if a woman is overly materialistic, and is a big spender or always in debt to finance her fancies.

Also you must consider that suppose a woman is waiting to be married from 18 - 25. In the meantime what is she supposed to be doing with her time? Staying at home with her mom and loading the dishwasher once a day? Working 15 hours a week at the grocery store, dodging her pothead co-workers while waiting for Mr. Right? The dating market is screwed for both genders. If a woman is going out and earning her own money while she is single I don't see anything wrong with that, as long as she is willing to stay home with the kids when they are young.

I see the arguments about how a woman earning more than you while married can cause issues. And I see both sides of the coin. Ideally, yes, the man should be the sole bread-winner, we should all have waited to have sex until marriage, and the government would re-issue the homestead act and we would all be living in the Christian countryside working trades and raising our own food, living the trad lifestyle. But in modern life there are so many contingencies, and I think it would be unwise for the men on this forum to write off a good potential mate just because she is gainfully and productively employed. The right woman could probably channel those energies into being a good wife and mother.

 

[Mike_Key]

This is a really nice thread ... one thing that I meant to write or share is my opinion that kids lose an measure of affinity for a mom or grandmother that works. It reads to honor your father and mother but when you see your mom for 2 hours per day because she works two (2) jobs or she chooses to work one job and you see her for 4 hours a day - that takes a toll.

Some women say "I can't do it, I can't stay home."

Ok, that's fine but it comes with ramifications.

I can't recall which famous female singer (a household name) said that she could offer her family much money but she doesn't know them. She never had a closeness with them as she was always traveling and touring. And she didn't know their personalities. She lamented about this fact. As I've always said, people go for what they want. They can talk about what they wished they had ... but they go for what they want. If you are living ... then you work hard to get to where you are ... be that peace and tranquility or chaos.

I once had a bad time as a child ... a very bad time ... when I approached my mom - the only person that I thought I could trust in this world she rebuffed me or lashed out ... she worked 2 jobs. No big deal. I gave up on her and moved on. This incident steeled me for life ... sometimes I think a bit too much but I've managed just fine and attained a good deal of success regardless of hell or some horrible times. Thank God for that.

John 3:16

 

[homersheineken]

In other words, she isn't your wife. This thread is about marriage.

To answer the original question, absolutely do not marry a woman who makes more money than you. She will eventually resent you. If her money is used to control you, she will resent you. If her money is incapable of controlling you, she still will resent you.

Bitter?

Perhaps if I didn't have money, but I make a good salary myself so this is not an issue. She doesn't resent me, at all. Sorry you've had such an experience.

 

[Gimlet]

You

Bitter?

Perhaps if I didn't have money, but I make a good salary myself so this is not an issue. She doesn't resent me, at all. Sorry you've had such an experience.

You aren't married. Marriage is a sacrament, a gift from God. You don't have that, you have not chosen that path which is your prerogative. My pointing it out to you doesn't make me bitter. It makes me respect Marriage, and not in today's homosexual meaning, which is meaningless... And is why you think your relationship counts as matrimony. And is why you are lashing out. Your relationship is not relevant to this thread.

 

[Towgunner]

Marrying a women that makes more than you? Well, from an economic point of view, today it takes two wage earners to support a family when it once took only one. That's more of a function of mismanagement, loose monetary policy and flooding the labor force with more workers, which in turn drives wages down. That said, as a man you should be the bread winner. And I think we can confidently say that for $$ woman > man is a consequence of an already perverse market/economy/society.

Women exceling in the workforce is a clouded issue. Because there are all kinds of policies, mandates, guidelines etc that promote women, many times, irregardless of competence or profitability. For instance, "they" now insist that women must be on corporate boards. For all of this, I don't take the career girl (tm) seriously. And why should I? Chances are she got there because of a handout. Its sad because there are some women that excel on their own. But, such is situation when you have the kind of social engineering we have today.

Generally, I'm kind of like who cares. Where this becomes an issue is when feminists make a big deal out of this in their typical obnoxious way. To them this is "progress" because they can have women ahead of men and they love that, plus, they hate marriage and they hate the family. For that reason, I detest their overtures. Not because I really care who makes more money, its the all to common rubbing it in our faces and acting like a immature teenager trying to one-up other people just to say they're better. And that's really the issue here.

Once again, we see this ideology for what it is.

 

[NoMoreTO]

Funny, I have been thinking about this same thing lately.

For whatever reason, I attract rich girls. I'm middle class but have a deep mind. I met this girl (online) who I got to talking to, and she told (and showed) me how much makes trading stocks. let's just say wow...

At first, I started blasting her, saying it will be very hard for her to find a husband who feels dominant to her because of her crazy high income. Then I realized she is just doing what she is able to, and wants a husband and children (rather desperately). She is 25. Hearing her explain how her main goal of it is to achieve an independent homsteding life with a big family. She kind of changed my outlook a bit.

In general, however, I would say a woman making more money than you in backward and should be avoided. There should be codependency, and she should be dependant on you to provide.

On a farm or homestead the man is always #1. Even if she were to provide the seed capital. It's also a benefit to have a woman who has talent. You want a woman who is oriented towards motherhood, but has skills too.

 

[NoMoreTO]

She might be a good catch. Maybe she has a knack for day trading.

Day trading will breast feeding would be pretty doable. She could just trade certain times of the day.

Anyway he should post her trades on stock thread.

 

[bmw633]

A lot of great comments on this thread.

I just had a thought. Say your wife earned more but you are a masculine guy (takes charge of situations, fixes things, etc ), do you still think there would be this type of resentment? I remember one self-help guy saying learning to fix things and carrying a strong frame carries good weight with a lot of women (this was a few years ago before the world went completely insane ;-).

As long as you hold frame to the point that every morning, she wakes up believing that you are the best man she could possibly ever hope for, then you have a good chance things will work out.

Even if the man is making less money, so long as both are pulling the wagon along together, things work for the best, but when one starts slacking off, and instead, parks their azz in the wagon, then you have problems.

 

[westernman]

I think it's a huge problem today, especially amongst younger adults.

Everything in our society encouraged women to be ambitious career women while pushing men to be eternal frat boys. Women naturally want a man who out earns them, but cannot find it. If you are a traditional-minded guy, you will either have to cope with the fact that most dating prospects will have a similar salary, or scratch and claw and starve to be in the top 1%

 

[The Beast1]

A woman making more than you makes her a target of divorce rape.

Can you imagine a career woman being forced to pay child support and alimony to her ex?

It's happening this way. I don't fear the career woman. They should fear the financial consequences of trying to trade up.

Besides, men of means prefer younger women, a LA seeking arrangement. Power women are screwed.

 

[30WK]

Women are just wired to follow the crowd. Unfortunately the corporation has become the new family/husband of the modern woman, and that is just the way things are. In my opinion, it is more of a red flag if a woman is overly materialistic, and is a big spender or always in debt to finance her fancies.

I can attest to this. I just lost my girl over this BS. It was really hard to walk away but it had to be done. The higher she climbed the corporate ladder and the more money she made, the more she spent, and the more debt she accrued. She also became super chummy with people at work and started treating them better than she was treating me. I'm almost certain her next partner will come from this new corporate "family." It breaks my heart. All I can do is pray for the strength to forgive her for trespassing against me.

 

[pashley1411]

This is something that I would be careful with. I’ve seen three couples that I knew in the past 15 years where the wife leapfrogged her husbands income big time. One was a RN that later went on to become more specialized in her field. Another went back to school and got her MBA and ended getting a job with a federal government agency making $160k a year. The third was the same. All three of these women ended earning more money than their husbands. This became a problem in their marriages and all three of them filed for divorce.

A lot of women tend to lose respect for their husbands once they out earn their husbands. They feel they can do better and they start to look around for other men that they feel are at their new level or above. It’s unfortunate that this happens, but I would be careful about marrying someone that has a higher income. Something to think about.

 

[pashley1411]

This is something that I would be careful with. I’ve seen three couples that I knew in the past 15 years where the wife leapfrogged her husbands income big time. One was a RN that later went on to become more specialized in her field. Another went back to school and got her MBA and ended getting a job with a federal government agency making $160k a year. The third was the same. All three of these women ended earning more money than their husbands. This became a problem in their marriages and all three of them filed for divorce.

A lot of women tend to lose respect for their husbands once they out earn their husbands. They feel they can do better and they start to look around for other men that they feel are at their new level or above. It’s unfortunate that this happens, but I would be careful about marrying someone that has a higher income. Something to think about.

This is the issue - respect. One party in the marriage, at least, is tied to emotional reasoning and external validation. The relationship would have to consciously separate from external validation (at the very least, the media) for a relationship that is, as seen from the outside, unequal in favor of the woman.

 

[Max Roscoe]

There is some serious hamstering going on in this thread.
Can a guy be happily married to a rich woman who has a successful career? Sure.
Can a guy be happily married to a women with a buzz cut that she dyed neon blue? Yeah, it's possible.
Maybe she's a chaste, loyal, good woman who just really, really loves the color blue. But odds are it will not work out.

These are what we call red flags and this is Masculinity 101 stuff. The more of these marks against a girl, the more of a challenge it will be to remain in a happy marriage. Now, realistically, if you are marrying an American woman above the age of 16 she is going to likely have some of these red flags. To acknowledge their risk and still proceed is one thing, but to ignore them or act like they are unimportant or irrelevant in current year is incredibly dangerous.

I truly hope the threads about valuing a woman for her "day trading stock picker" skills are jokes. If you really value this in a woman, make her your business partner, but not your wife.

There is a difference between a wedding and holy matrimony. Reconsider what is the purpose of a wife and a family.

 

[Farmlegend]

60+ dude here.

Every single marriage I’ve seen where the woman outearned the man ended in divorce, except one. And that one involved a woman who had a significantly lower SMV than her husband - she likely perceived herself as having limited options.

 

[Towgunner]

I just want to state something very important to this thread. Women making more $$ than men is due to social engineering. This is very important to understand. Westernman said it well...

"Everything in our society encouraged women to be ambitious career women while pushing men to be eternal frat boys.".

I like to drill down on the "everything in our society encourage women to be ambitious career..." because I think that matters. And it goes beyond just the cultural encouragement. Institutions of all kinds are deliberately trying to hire or admit women. Is there a similar effort for men?

Answer: No. Not at all. And that's why you see's these mounting disparities between the sexes at the moment. It's my firm conviction that regardless of these current statistics in a truly fair system, i.e. one that does not discriminate in favor of only one sex, men outperform women.

 

[Maxxburn286]

Its clear and present danger an axis of evil in today's society.
Women single and drawing more money than her counterparts is common.
Where they end up is not uncommon as well.
When women wears the pants she realizes she's grown a new set of balls, and when that combines with beta orbiters and captain save the hoes, there is no dearth in the length and breadth of the callous route they take riding the cock carousal for seeking and validations.
Gone are the days when 1st marriage last, these days couples are happy in 2nd marriages with extra baggage of alimony and foster kids, and in that league both men and women ate equal and I'm sure it lasts until the last straw of money vanishes in the bank, and it would last slightly longer if the women is wearing the pants.
But it disgusts me seeing young 20's and 30's sugar babies hold hands and PDA with 40 + and 50 pushing cougar bitches who probably wants a stay at home nanny for her exes kids while she throngs the office floor thriving on seeking n validation by this false sense of pride our beta clan has built....what's that shitty praise break the class ceiling / celebrating femdom! YUCK...
Cheers guys! Welcome to the world of degenerates!