Marrying a woman who makes more money than you...

00anon00

Chicken
I just want to throw my two cents in here: it completely depends on the woman*

My wife and I met in our teens and have considered ourselves essentially married since then. My wife is extremely intelligent, loving, hilarious, based, red-pilled on most topics, deplores degeneracy, and also has a professional career (that we constantly joke she was suckered into by feminism). In a past life, we were both libertarian, neocon types, before we saw the light. As of very recently, my wife earns more than $500k per year before taxes. She spends next to nothing because she doesn't care about nonsense. The money just piles into our bank account and we don't think about it beyond what we used to think about it when we had less money in there. It's possible that it's because we've been together for so long, and basically grew up together, but the money just feels like a number, and even though the number has become large, it doesn't psychologically feel larger than when she made much less. In fact, we still don't "feel" like we are making a lot of money, even though we are, technically. We feel as though we may as well have zero until we have enough to say sayonara to the working world. We are saving money so that we can both quit our jobs and never have to work again (she likes her job but would prefer to pursue her interests with that time). Our plan is to move to a low COL location, like a homestead, possibly abroad, but without the privations that come with homesteading to replace income. I couldn't be happier (as relates to the thread -- just to be clear, I have and have had more than my share of problems and hardships in other areas of life). I make much less, but enough that we could actually live abroad comfortably even now on my salary alone (which we sometimes fantasize about). Our money has always gone into the same account and it just "feels" to both of us, as it always has, like "our" money, as much as it did when I was the sole earner.

My good friend, on the other hand, also met his wife in his teens, even younger than us. She has the same career as my wife, though she earns much less (and he earns about what my wife earns in his career). His wife, on the other hand, has grown into a raging "feminazi", is hypocritical, silly, hyper-emotional, causes drama, threatens to leave to get what she wants, and constantly criticizes him for all the popular political reasons of the day. While I don't have even a single complaint about my wife, practically all he and I talk about are his problems with his wife. Interestingly, to me, they have separate bank and retirement accounts (she banks all her money and he pays all expenses from his accounts, like rent, restaurants, etc).

*If there is one thing I've learned from lurking around these forums, it's that the former wives and girlfriends of people on these forums tend to be more like his wife than my wife. I wouldn't be surprised if the breakdown in general was something like 80/20. I'm not sure what my intention of posting this here is, part of me wants to just sing from the mountaintops at what I consider to be my good fortune when I see the misery that so many others have had to endure. But I also just want to let people know that some women, even professional women who make a lot of money, can be normal people, that make their husbands happy, and aren't psychologically affected by money in an unhealthy way (maybe because some of them have had to work hard to obtain it and know how hard it is to obtain -- but probably due to some variant of the happy gene). I know a few other women who make a lot of money, but are humble, normal, and it doesn't go to their heads at all. Then, I know others who seem to think of themselves as "boss babes", and these ones tend to be covering up a massive inferiority complex (as opposed to the more humble first category).

As for a few more anecdotes, one of my friends, who is a professional, has been on probably 1,000 dates with girls he met online, with no success in finding a partner, financially successful or not. And another friend has been with his wife for a long time, and she is an insufferable libtard and "feminazi", and she does not earn much money. And she's also not very intelligent.

I've often encouraged my single friend to go abroad to a more traditional society to "find a wife", because I sense that the affinity that is present between two people of the same culture is less important to him. He also wants the homestead dream.
 
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hkhathaj

Woodpecker
I strongly believe that the ideal situation is the man to make money and the woman to stay at home with children. I can easily support my family financially and my wife is at home with our children. The youngest is 1 year old and where I live staying at home until the child is 3 years old is socially acceptable. So it is easy to keep her to stay at home.
The question should not be how much more money she makes but how much the man makes. If that is enough for a family then it is not a problem. If that is not enough then that is going to be a problem. A woman with lower financial standards fits better the man who makes less money. If the money is not enough even on a lower standard of life then you definitely have to make more money somehow.

The problem is the lifestyle that she got accustomed to. I can only think of how much money such a woman spends. Is she going to be able to do the housework herself? Is she going to be able to cook? Such women may plan to baby sit their children and go back to work early. For me that is totally not acceptable.

My strategy would be: I would explicitely tell her what kind of lifestyle I want to live. If she accepts that and everything else fits with her then it is ok. If she can not accept that then I would not marry her.

On the other hand such a woman will have other problems too. The worst will be that she is probably too old. But thread is about the money aspect and maybe there are women in their early twenties who make so much money.

With my wife I think we can have two more children while we are young enough. That is much time but eventually they will grow up. When we talk about that time I always tell my wife in a cocky manner: "I want you to be my servant not the servant of a multinational company." Yes it is a joke but it has some truth in it. When our children become adults I hope I can apply her for some useful work part time job in my own venture. Or maybe she can do some womanly help each other non-profit job. (Helping normal families with babies or whatever.) But I don't want her to work in an office 8 hours a day.
 

jeremy

Chicken
I think the men's movement is being incorporated into this discussion, and also having much to do with Roosh's perspective on having been a pick up artist, who has now come to Jesus. I tell you from personal experience being someone who has studied a little game and has seen other people enact it, that it creates really jerky behavior in men where you always feel you must keep your chest puffed out; figuratively speaking that is, (which could also be literal and figurative as it is a simimi.) at all times.
I've seen some guys who were outright jerks break into a conversation the guy is already having with a girl, and then act like a complete jackass himself. There are others that do display some degree of class and are much more subtle in their approach, but the bottom line in that world is might-makes-right, despite the company the woman are in and a general lacking of good taste. The common philosophy is to infiltrate no matter if she's talking with somebody or even married. Even if one does pick up artistry with the moral sensibility that it's not necessary to step on an strangers toes, perpetueting ill will in order to stroke your ego, or cause a woman to do harm to herself and others by cheating instead of being honest, there is still a little bit of jerky yet closed off behavior it's like the chest is always a little bit puffed out and the breath is always a little bit held back; that is the aura that comes off of pickup artists.
If you want my opinion Roosh on how that pairs with being a Christian; I say God, through Christ, is tanscendent from sin and also transcendent from the material world through which our biology has involved. The higher enlightenment, if one follows Christian principles, is the understanding that we are more than our bodies; we are more than our flesh. Even if one is agnostic or an objectivist, the best drawn conclusion from all relevant factors if considered by most is that it is much healthier to have a loving monogamous relationship, and that we must transend our biology somewhat to succeed. God and greater reason call upon us to transcend our inner animals to some extent in order to not only transcend this world but for our betterment as a conscious being.
So to get back to the inquiry of whether or not a woman can be happy if she makes more than her man; I say yes if she is spiritual, and /or less materialistic, and conscientious. I say, on a sliding scale, the more she has these qualities, the less likely income is to matter. A person less superficial and thereby more worth being with, all other things being equal, and as long as they are not suffering any other scarcities from uneven income; it will work if a woman has good qualities and values as a person. If the only deciding factor is income then she lacks the qualities to be content in this situation. I think any woman with values worth marrying turns more towards the person and the whole of their collective circumstances rather than just income. I think this is generally true as long as the man works with sincerity to build a good relationship. Whether or not this is what actually happens, I don't know. I don't think men making less money is a problem if the relationship has other good qualities and that that difference is not because of a great scarcity. If income level is the deciding factor, I think the women generally lack value. Like pick up artistry the lust fades, the one night stands, or honey moon phases wear off.
As far as being a man is concerned, I say it is his character not his circumstances that a woman of quality judges. If you can't be sexy by making a big income be so torture by your character and other qualities.
Again I'm not saying this actually happens but I do believe all factors in consideration if we were better people it would be that way moreso. As roosh says demons cause distortions Pick Up Artist Behavior has similar distortions in it's singular focus and lack of integrated integrity. A jerky Behavior perpetuated by Satan.
 
This is something that I would be careful with. I’ve seen three couples that I knew in the past 15 years where the wife leapfrogged her husbands income big time. One was a RN that later went on to become more specialized in her field. Another went back to school and got her MBA and ended getting a job with a federal government agency making $160k a year. The third was the same. All three of these women ended earning more money than their husbands. This became a problem in their marriages and all three of them filed for divorce.

A lot of women tend to lose respect for their husbands once they out earn their husbands. They feel they can do better and they start to look around for other men that they feel are at their new level or above. It’s unfortunate that this happens, but I would be careful about marrying someone that has a higher income. Something to think about.
Indeed.
 

SlickyBoy

Hummingbird
This thread made me think of this recent article:

 

Cast2e

Pigeon
Happy New Year Gents,

Over the weekend, I received a wedding invitation for late Summer 2021 from a college friend whom I had not spoken to in a year or so. I gave him a call to congratulate him on his engagement, and we start catching up on things. It appears his wife to be is very successful in her career (think VP level in a large bank), and he admitted she makes about $40K/annually more than him.

I said how does that make him feel, and he feels that he knows her income will go away once she gets pregnant (they have begun to talk about kids post marriage).
When I asked if she has plans to return to work after the child is born, I feel he gave me a blank stare.

Men - would you marry someone who made more money than you?
Would you require your woman (who made more than you) to go back into the workforce after child birth?
Hard no. I dont need her money. People keep trying to set me up with lawyers and doctors and I always so no. I dont like their general attitude and theyre also a little older than I want.

The only upside of marrying a successful/rich girl is that youll know she'll more likely give you successful sons but there are other ways to ensure for this without sacrificing a healthy family structure..
 
Funny, I just watched a video on this from Tim Pool:
Jack Murphy looks at it from an evolutionary perspective, but I'd say itss a God-designed reason behind why men should marry lesser women. Men are hard-wired to be the leader, provider, and father for the family. It's built-in. Women subconsciously look for that. Sure, they blame it on seeking status and power and I'd say there can be a selfish element to it, but in the long run, people are looking for a relationship that is mutually beneficial. These days, women can provide for themselves monetarily, so they only lack an intimate partner, and that's what they find: lazy couch potatoes for having sex. But women want a legit partner, but they aren't sure what that partner is supposed to do other than be another duplicate of themselves. Men don't want to duplicate what women do. They feel redundant and useless.

Marrying a woman of more income than you is just taking away your job. Tell her if she wants to marry, she has to give up her job. She may be reluctant at first, but if she's really desperate, she'll give in. The older she becomes and the longer she stays single, the more desperate she will be.
It makes me wonder if Millenial women will be better to date in their late 30s. Too bad they're well past their prime and child-rearing years, but that's the punishment we all have to bear isn't it?
 
I love the wealthy driven woman, kind of a turn on for me that she's ambitious and intelligent. But a woman making more money than me? not even possible, I work too damn hard. "There is not an adjective to describe how I work, hard is not enough brother I'm tougher" -Curren$y. I can actually manufacture things, anyone who can do that and is a leader in industry tend to earn more, transforming raw materials into finished products is one if not the most profitable sectors to be in. How many people in the world can build a cars and airplanes from the ground up and from scratch, not many.
 

Invocato

Sparrow
Happy New Year Gents,

Over the weekend, I received a wedding invitation for late Summer 2021 from a college friend whom I had not spoken to in a year or so. I gave him a call to congratulate him on his engagement, and we start catching up on things. It appears his wife to be is very successful in her career (think VP level in a large bank), and he admitted she makes about $40K/annually more than him.

I said how does that make him feel, and he feels that he knows her income will go away once she gets pregnant (they have begun to talk about kids post marriage).
When I asked if she has plans to return to work after the child is born, I feel he gave me a blank stare.

Men - would you marry someone who made more money than you?
Would you require your woman (who made more than you) to go back into the workforce after child birth?

Probably not, mainly because she will likely want to avoid her wife and mother responsibilities to focus on career at some point during the relationship. She will also tend to be a more demanding, controlling, and dominant spouse, and possibly disappointed that you can't provide the lifestyle she's grown accustomed to, and/or upset that you aren't performing to her expecations. I am also generally concerned about women in the workplace, as opposed to being in the home. They are propositioned frequently in the workplace, which I think makes them more likely to be unfaithful. Also, the masculinization that occurs in women from being career-driven. That said I'm sure there are examples where a wife who makes more than the husband turns out okay.
 

Broonkley

Chicken
No, because when a woman earns more than a man, they always look for a man who earns at the same level or more, and when there is an argument, there is a good chance that she will talk about how much she earns and what she bought. And I'm not going to demand that she work after we have children, because, I want my children to have their parents around and all the necessary support, if she had a job online it would be great.
 
What I can observe here in the south of Brazil, is that you can only marry a woman who earns more, if the man is more beautiful than the woman!

The woman earn more than man is relative, man can pay all the accounts of the house and the woman staying with her salary, just for her.

There are a lot of couple that says the woman earns more, just for the man not paying a provider!
 

Gimlet

Kingfisher
I suspect that if a couple marries before God and the woman vows to "love, cherish and obey" it would not matter if she makes more money. But a breadwinner woman woman would never vow to obey her husband. Everyone I know who got married in the 90s, I am pretty sure "obey" was dropped and the couple divorced within a few years. (That includes my wedding and divorce.)

I was just talking about this to a 37 year old never-married (and lonely) career woman who got jilted by a friend of mine. She is very against that word obey, not that she has ever had a proposal. But for a woman to obey her man, it means he is on a higher plane than simply his paycheck. A man worthy of being obeyed has no time for substandard women such as this career woman. She is thin and pretty but is a shrieking harpy who curses too much.

Can't say I am right, but it is worth considering. Will she say "obey" in her vow? Man obeys God, woman obeys man. Is that what is missing?
 

Joe316

Robin
I was just talking about this to a 37 year old never-married (and lonely) career woman who got jilted by a friend of mine. She is very against that word obey, not that she has ever had a proposal.

She is never going to get one, as she never worked towards it. College girls, who have their dorm mates drool over them, like their leverage and like to stay in power until the graduated guys are all married off (usually with submissive non-college girls). They confuse fornication with real relationships and then end up without a spouse.
 
The only situation, where this is acceptable is if you are expected to earn more than her in the next few years and you know that she will be a good housewife. You do absolutely not want a woman that has a Master's degree and beyond. Her career will be the most important thing to at least the age of 32. Then you can try one year to get a kid and then perhaps another and then that's it. She will not look after the kids past the age of 3 and stay at home, so your kids are getting educated by random strangers. Additionally, what are the odds that she is Christian, if she pursues muh career anyway? Women that are "successful" in the business world tend to overcompensate, too. In other words, will be bitchy, pseudo disagreeable etc.
Besides that, female nature dictates that she will despise/ridicule you, once you are together longer, if she earns more. Keep in mind, many women are sly and will not confront you directly, but talk behind your back or constantly hint at you being inferior.
 

SlickyBoy

Hummingbird
...Tell her if she wants to marry, she has to give up her job. She may be reluctant at first, but if she's really desperate, she'll give in. The older she becomes and the longer she stays single, the more desperate she will be.
If she's reluctant and desperate, you need to re-think why you are asking this person to be your wife in the first place. It would be a no-brainer for a young woman in a simple job (cashier, waitress, retail, etc.) if she's interested in marriage and family at all, that is.

It makes me wonder if Millenial women will be better to date in their late 30s. Too bad they're well past their prime and child-rearing years, but that's the punishment we all have to bear isn't it?
No, we don't. And no, they won't be better to date in their 30s. Not your problem to fix what they broke either.
 

Invocato

Sparrow
I suspect that if a couple marries before God and the woman vows to "love, cherish and obey" it would not matter if she makes more money. But a breadwinner woman woman would never vow to obey her husband. Everyone I know who got married in the 90s, I am pretty sure "obey" was dropped and the couple divorced within a few years. (That includes my wedding and divorce.)

I was just talking about this to a 37 year old never-married (and lonely) career woman who got jilted by a friend of mine. She is very against that word obey, not that she has ever had a proposal. But for a woman to obey her man, it means he is on a higher plane than simply his paycheck. A man worthy of being obeyed has no time for substandard women such as this career woman. She is thin and pretty but is a shrieking harpy who curses too much.

Can't say I am right, but it is worth considering. Will she say "obey" in her vow? Man obeys God, woman obeys man. Is that what is missing?
This reminded me of a wedding I was at a few years ago where the woman requested the word "obey" to be dropped from vows. What was also interesting, was that she presented herself as a more "traditional", Evangelical Christian woman--althought she didn't get married until late 20s, choosing to focus on education and career first (par for the course in the modern age). Of course me in my purple pill days thought little of it, but now it sets off alarm bells.

Anyway, they are still married (surprise), but I completely forgot about this until this post. I agree though, if she's too modern to say "obey" in her vows = red flag.
Ephesians 5:22 - Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
 
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Joe316

Robin
This reminded me of a wedding I was at a few years ago where the woman requested the word "obey" to be dropped from vows. What was also interesting, was that she presented herself as a more "traditional", Evangelical Christian woman--althought she didn't get married until late 20s, choosing to focus on education and career first (par for the course in the modern age). Of course me in my purple pill days thought little of it, but now it sets off alarm bells.

Anyway, they are still married (surprise), but I completely forgot about this until this post. I agree though, if she's too modern to say "obey" in her vows = red flag.
Ephesians 5:22 - Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.

Another woman, who changes her "Yes!" into a "Yes, but...". That would have been a marriage to call off for any masculine man.

My own experience told me, that some if not most "Christian" women are worse than submissive and obedient unbelievers. Especially the "Evangelical" kind just found another thing to feel superior to men and doesn't even realize, what Eve's original sin actually means for them.
 
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