Marrying conservative women from abroad and bringing them over to the west

Laner

Hummingbird
Gold Member
Polniy_Sostav said:
Women do not need high IQ. They do not need to understand concepts so much.
What they need is a smart intelligence , adapted to their role of mother / wife.
Organized , clean , hard-working , humble , ingenious , patient , calm.
General knowledge is also good and pleasant to have , but not key , as long as the woman is not too dumb.

Women with high-IQ are often interesting at first , but very often end up being very arrogant and/or very self-entitled
Not to mention extremely anxious.
 
Well, it would take a while to explain why I want high IQ on a woman (let's call the absolute minimum 130, but from what I've seen the women I like are more in the range of 137-145 let's say [there are quite a few proxies that reliably indicate certain scores]). It comes from certain idiosyncratic preferences I have in my friendships and social relationships and in my life. Yes, maybe 99% of high IQ women aren't any good for a serious relationship, and for the reasons people have given. But overall, intelligence is the single most important trait for me on a woman (and the rarest). This does not necessarily need to be the case for other men. However, I feel very bad when smart men marry dumb women, as these smart men will have kids who are likely to be significantly less intelligent than them (especially if the dumb woman doesn't have recent high IQ ancestors in her family).

I don't make girls take IQ tests, I just know that any girl I've liked in my life has a high IQ. I meet a girl I like in EE, and later discover she attended one of the toughest university departments of one of the toughest universities in the world (MIT level). Anyway, this is a hard position to explain, and I know it goes against the consensus on this forum (like many other positions I hold) but it's a position I hold very strongly for myself.
 
Laner said:
Polniy_Sostav said:
Women do not need high IQ. They do not need to understand concepts so much.
What they need is a smart intelligence , adapted to their role of mother / wife.
Organized , clean , hard-working , humble , ingenious , patient , calm.
General knowledge is also good and pleasant to have , but not key , as long as the woman is not too dumb.

Women with high-IQ are often interesting at first , but very often end up being very arrogant and/or very self-entitled
Not to mention extremely anxious.
From my experience even great women ( wife material ) have some sort of anxiety . It seems to be consubstantial to the fact that they are women . Nothing we can do .
 
Cultural Refugee said:
Well, it would take a while to explain why I want high IQ on a woman (let's call the absolute minimum 130, but from what I've seen the women I like are more in the range of 137-145 let's say [there are quite a few proxies that reliably indicate certain scores]). It comes from certain idiosyncratic preferences I have in my friendships and social relationships and in my life. Yes, maybe 99% of high IQ women aren't any good for a serious relationship, and for the reasons people have given. But overall, intelligence is the single most important trait for me on a woman (and the rarest). This does not necessarily need to be the case for other men. However, I feel very bad when smart men marry dumb women, as these smart men will have kids who are likely to be significantly less intelligent than them (especially if the dumb woman doesn't have recent high IQ ancestors in her family).

I don't make girls take IQ tests, I just know that any girl I've liked in my life has a high IQ. I meet a girl I like in EE, and later discover she attended one of the toughest university departments of one of the toughest universities in the world (MIT level). Anyway, this is a hard position to explain, and I know it goes against the consensus on this forum (like many other positions I hold) but it's a position I hold very strongly for myself.
If you can find a girl with a high IQ, but who doesn't know it, you get the high IQ for your kids, but without the attitude and nonsense that you'd expect from a female with a high IQ who is aware of it. Just make sure not to let your daughters know quite how smart they are.
 

Laner

Hummingbird
Gold Member
Polniy_Sostav said:
Laner said:
Polniy_Sostav said:
Women do not need high IQ. They do not need to understand concepts so much.
What they need is a smart intelligence , adapted to their role of mother / wife.
Organized , clean , hard-working , humble , ingenious , patient , calm.
General knowledge is also good and pleasant to have , but not key , as long as the woman is not too dumb.

Women with high-IQ are often interesting at first , but very often end up being very arrogant and/or very self-entitled
Not to mention extremely anxious.
From my experience even great women ( wife material ) have some sort of anxiety . It seems to be consubstantial to the fact that they are women . Nothing we can do .
I got together with a friend of mine this weekend. We normally take our boys out for a hike, but this time we left them at home with the women while we talked some business.

On the drive home my wife said it was a good visit. In the past she had been troubled by my friends wife's anxiety. She is pregnant right now, so my wife had been giving her advice on keeping her anxiety low. She had been listening and implementing, and she told my wife that she feels so much better and feels she has more energy in general. The advice?

- Don't ask your husband about business or money. They will talk to us when its that important.

- Don't vote - we just had an election - and she said its not worth the trouble. Even going with her husband she found stressful. My wife can't vote, and has mentioned many times that she is happy about that.

- Don't ask your husband what he talks about with his friends. Her pointed questions will always come across as paranoid, which puts up his defense, which will make her anxious; whats wrong? Why did he snap? Is it me?

Anyway, it was good to see that my wife can have some positive influence on little spheres of my life that are outside our family unit.
 
Different topic: It's hard for me to tell how much of my life here is good just because I get some array of Westerner god factor benefits vs. how much it is due to cheapness, expat freedom, good quality of life, culture I find interesting, nicer people, better personality fit with the culture, pretty girls, and better dating market. My Russian isn't so good, so really as soon as I open my mouth I get treated as a foreigner (and when I speak English, as a Western foreigner). Of course, less experienced travelers might not understand this is happening. But I know that for some magical reason, my social life here is better than in other countries, and I get treated better here than I do in other countries.

I don't know how large the Western foreigner effect is in EE. Does anyone who has lived or visited deep EE have any idea? It might not even be a general EE thing, and rather an effect more specific to the country or city I'm staying in.

I bet in India, China and some other places something similar happens: you will always experience life there as a white western foreigner, rather than as the local. You can't live in India for a month as a white, paint your skin brown, and then live for a month as an Indian and compare. Whether you are a white or an Indian, what you experience in India will seem like the norm to you.
 

Barron

Ostrich
Gold Member
Laner said:
- Don't ask your husband about business or money. They will talk to us when its that important.

- Don't vote - we just had an election - and she said its not worth the trouble. Even going with her husband she found stressful. My wife can't vote, and has mentioned many times that she is happy about that.

- Don't ask your husband what he talks about with his friends. Her pointed questions will always come across as paranoid, which puts up his defense, which will make her anxious; whats wrong? Why did he snap? Is it me?
:gamerecognized:

The best part is that she came to these conclusions on her own and is actively spreading them to other women.
 
Regarding women with high intelligence... I noticed as I grew up in the Mormon Church, that these women, when a highly paid husband made it possible, would often home school their children. And the amazing end result was often kids who were admitted into some of the best universities of America, and often with partial or full scholarships! I have a close friend who is very bright and married an extremely intelligent woman (though she made his life hell, nothing ever pleased her). Three of the children have gone on to Ivy League schools, something which neither parent had done. The oldest son will soon be attending Harvard Law School (we were all stunned when he made it), and I have a weird feeling that one day he will be a powerful U.S. senator, governor, or the man who sits behind the large desk in the oval office. He has strong political ambitions, and is in a nerdy way, highly charismatic and personable.
 
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