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Marrying conservative women from abroad and bringing them over to the west
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<blockquote data-quote="Apollo21" data-source="post: 15615" data-attributes="member: 8804"><p>Here's another way to think about it.</p><p></p><p>Let's look at a marriage that is happy and successful(i.e. lifelong) </p><p>and another marriage that ends in divorce within 5 years.</p><p></p><p>What are the key differences? What is happening on a daily basis?</p><p></p><p>What are the daily conversations like?<strong> Exactly where do the wheels fall off</strong></p><p><strong>and what drives the marriage into the ground?</strong></p><p><strong></strong></p><p>As a few people have already said, we know marriage is much more day to day </p><p>whereas with dating you really might only see a girl once a week for a couple </p><p>of hours.</p><p></p><p>A successful marriage requires you to have seasoned communication/diplomacy skills, </p><p>expert planning skills, patience and way more empathy than if you were just </p><p>dating a girl.</p><p></p><p>I think the reality is, living in a modern world, you simply have to become better</p><p>at the entire process from start to finish...i.e... </p><p></p><p>1. Finding high quality girls that actually demonstrate the right values/skills you're looking for.</p><p></p><p>2. Setting a communication standard and dealing with issues on the spot </p><p> before they become larger problems. </p><p></p><p>3. Planning where you will live and what kind of family support you will have in advance</p><p> before you get married...also what does she want to do? work/stay at home?</p><p></p><p>4. Dealing with attitude/behavior changes. If she's a good traditional girl then she </p><p> is unlikely to change. However that doesn't mean that you still don't need to maintain good order </p><p> and discipline as a couple/family. Take her out on Saturday nights, lead by example by staying fit</p><p> and exercising together, going to church, make life interesting for her.</p><p></p><p>5. Always have the next step planned. Back in the day, our grandparents struggled just to survive</p><p> Their only expectations were to basically have enough food to eat and pray that their children survived.</p><p> That's why they didn't divorce. </p><p> </p><p>Today you have to give vision and demonstrate leadership. It's like flying a passenger plane up in the air. Not only </p><p>do you have to have an interesting destination planned but you also have deal with outside turbulence. </p><p>And if you're not a seasoned pilot then your plane might easily go down...and God help you if you have </p><p>a bad copilot who does not follow your lead.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Apollo21, post: 15615, member: 8804"] Here's another way to think about it. Let's look at a marriage that is happy and successful(i.e. lifelong) and another marriage that ends in divorce within 5 years. What are the key differences? What is happening on a daily basis? What are the daily conversations like?[b] Exactly where do the wheels fall off and what drives the marriage into the ground? [/b] As a few people have already said, we know marriage is much more day to day whereas with dating you really might only see a girl once a week for a couple of hours. A successful marriage requires you to have seasoned communication/diplomacy skills, expert planning skills, patience and way more empathy than if you were just dating a girl. I think the reality is, living in a modern world, you simply have to become better at the entire process from start to finish...i.e... 1. Finding high quality girls that actually demonstrate the right values/skills you're looking for. 2. Setting a communication standard and dealing with issues on the spot before they become larger problems. 3. Planning where you will live and what kind of family support you will have in advance before you get married...also what does she want to do? work/stay at home? 4. Dealing with attitude/behavior changes. If she's a good traditional girl then she is unlikely to change. However that doesn't mean that you still don't need to maintain good order and discipline as a couple/family. Take her out on Saturday nights, lead by example by staying fit and exercising together, going to church, make life interesting for her. 5. Always have the next step planned. Back in the day, our grandparents struggled just to survive Their only expectations were to basically have enough food to eat and pray that their children survived. That's why they didn't divorce. Today you have to give vision and demonstrate leadership. It's like flying a passenger plane up in the air. Not only do you have to have an interesting destination planned but you also have deal with outside turbulence. And if you're not a seasoned pilot then your plane might easily go down...and God help you if you have a bad copilot who does not follow your lead. [/QUOTE]
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