Met a virtuous Christian Woman part 2

Edelweiss

Sparrow
Orthodox Inquirer
Hi guys,

a while ago I posted a thread where I share my experience with a virtuous Christian woman I met, but who decided not to move forward with me after I confessed my sinful past with her.

A few months later and God put another virtuous woman in my path. I met her, like the first one, on a serious dating platforms for Christians (I know some will see this as a red flag, but the site IS serious, with a pay wall and my previous experience with the first woman showed that there are serious people there).
She is 14 years younger than me (and she said it was not a problem for her and asked me if that was a problem for me), and she accepted my daughter from another relationship (related to my sinful past).
She told me that she is a virgin and that her parents are very strict "Free Christians" aka a protestant denomination.

She has 4 siblings all married with kids, all in the Church. She still lives at her parents, did not got to university, but did a short professional training and works in a family company.
She has very conservative family values and is against pretty much what the current evil society has to offer. Just like me.

We talked a lot for a few days where I explained why I am considering converting to Orthodoxy from Catholicism, and discussed with her why Protestantism is lacking.
She defended her faith as she should but showed willingness to come with me to a Vespers service and Divine Liturgy on the weekend.

Alas, the meeting never happened: on the day we were supposed to meet, she told me that her mother refused to let her meet me, because of my faith.
She could have come regardless, but refused to go without her mother's blessing.

She was pretty upset about this.
I told her it is fine, that she is a virtuous daughter and that I understand why her mother would refuse: her virgin daughter who she protected all her life was going to meet a man she met online, from another faith.... She replied saying that she does not feel like a good daughter because she was very angry and a good daughter must not be angry and have anger thoughts against her mother.
I suggested she talks to her dad, to which she replied that even if he agreed, she would not come without the blessing of both her parents, and that she did not want her parents to fight because of her.

We finally decided that she talks with her parents later on and ask them why they are so against her meeting me, what their issue with Orthodoxy is and so on.
I even suggest that I could meet her parents and talk to them if need be.

Just to be clear: I was not trying to convert her. We discussed many things and this topic was among them. It is also the only topic on which we don't (yet?) agree upon regarding societal issues as we pretty much view the world in the same way (very conservative and shared values and not consumerists or worldly).

What do you think I should do at this point in time? What would you do or recommend?

Thanks.
 

scarfaceantonio

Sparrow
Other Christian
I really enjoyed reading your post. Of course I feel very sorry for the outcome :((((....
What I mean, it was refresing to see the mutual respect within the conversation and this girl seems to be very very special! Incredible family also, especially the mother seems to be special like a diamond! She has integrity.

Im not an expert in dating courtship,....
Im writing you because the conclusion is very simple:
If she is (and obviosly she is) serios with her FAITH, then you aren't compatible for marriage!
"Protestant" can have very varios meanings though. The "liberal" / modern ones have nothing to do with what Luther intended.
I mean if she truly PRACTICES what Luther standed up for then you really aren't compatible :(((((! Remember Christ did not come to bring peace, but DIVISION....

There is a (very realistic) solution to the problem though!!!
It will require action from you and you will have to talk and listen (!) carefully and honestly what the mother has to say.

How ironic that I have to say this.... since Im one of the guys with the most amount of scorn, collected inside, towards women in general o_O.

Hope my post is helpfull :D. Sorry also about the bad english.
 

TooFineAPoint

Ostrich
Protestant
Edelweiss, my experience is of course only personal but maybe it will help:

I am a Protestant but half of the family is Catholic, so I also grew up attending Catholic Church (when I visited my Grandma, for instance) and went to Catholic School. Later on I dated and then married an Orthodox woman, and her family insisted on getting married in an Orthodox Church (even though they only attended max twice per year). Anyway, the Orthodox priests all refused to marry us because I was Protestant, until they found a younger and more "liberal" priest. Maybe the older priests were right, since we ended up divorcing after 6.5 years. Anyway...

My experience has been that Protestants (the Christian group I am most familiar with) are way more accepting of Orthos and Catholics than the other way around. In fact, when we grew up the only burn us Protestants would ever have against the other two denominations was that they lacked faith and never seemed to read the Bible and rarely went to church. Most times I attended Orthodox or Catholic Churches, those worshipping were made up almost 100% of old ladies. I'm not saying it's a fact -- obviously all you guys here are not old ladies -- but that was the impression we had growing up. My Protestant Church was a fairly traditional Baptist one, so we didn't have any women leaders and there was no weird political cucking, and most of us considered Anglicans to be abominations.

On the other hand, the few Catholics/Orthodox I spoke to over those years would comment that they considered us to be just as bad as the Anglicans.

Now I say all that to give you some basic background.

What I am driving at is that I find it much less likely that the parents would worry about you being Orthodox than they would you being older, with a daughter yourself, and from online dating. And the obvious one, it's their virgin daughter and they are going to be worried no matter what until the guy passes a bunch of filters and tests.

I wouldn't sweat the denominational difference (and that's what most Protestants view it as, simply a denominational difference, not a difference of faith). You said the mom mentioned it as a reason. I'm just going with my experience and maybe she said that out of convenience, and it's not the crux of the issue. It is just as likely that they want to see strong evidence that you are earnest and practicing your faith, and not just using it as a ruse to get closer to their daughter.

I could be very wrong. Just something to consider.
 

kamlinkilgroe

Chicken
Orthodox Inquirer
Hi guys,

a while ago I posted a thread where I share my experience with a virtuous Christian woman I met, but who decided not to move forward with me after I confessed my sinful past with her.

A few months later and God put another virtuous woman in my path. I met her, like the first one, on a serious dating platforms for Christians (I know some will see this as a red flag, but the site IS serious, with a pay wall and my previous experience with the first woman showed that there are serious people there).
She is 14 years younger than me (and she said it was not a problem for her and asked me if that was a problem for me), and she accepted my daughter from another relationship (related to my sinful past).
She told me that she is a virgin and that her parents are very strict "Free Christians" aka a protestant denomination.

She has 4 siblings all married with kids, all in the Church. She still lives at her parents, did not got to university, but did a short professional training and works in a family company.
She has very conservative family values and is against pretty much what the current evil society has to offer. Just like me.

We talked a lot for a few days where I explained why I am considering converting to Orthodoxy from Catholicism, and discussed with her why Protestantism is lacking.
She defended her faith as she should but showed willingness to come with me to a Vespers service and Divine Liturgy on the weekend.

Alas, the meeting never happened: on the day we were supposed to meet, she told me that her mother refused to let her meet me, because of my faith.
She could have come regardless, but refused to go without her mother's blessing.

She was pretty upset about this.
I told her it is fine, that she is a virtuous daughter and that I understand why her mother would refuse: her virgin daughter who she protected all her life was going to meet a man she met online, from another faith.... She replied saying that she does not feel like a good daughter because she was very angry and a good daughter must not be angry and have anger thoughts against her mother.
I suggested she talks to her dad, to which she replied that even if he agreed, she would not come without the blessing of both her parents, and that she did not want her parents to fight because of her.

We finally decided that she talks with her parents later on and ask them why they are so against her meeting me, what their issue with Orthodoxy is and so on.
I even suggest that I could meet her parents and talk to them if need be.

Just to be clear: I was not trying to convert her. We discussed many things and this topic was among them. It is also the only topic on which we don't (yet?) agree upon regarding societal issues as we pretty much view the world in the same way (very conservative and shared values and not consumerists or worldly).

What do you think I should do at this point in time? What would you do or recommend?

Thanks.
 

kamlinkilgroe

Chicken
Orthodox Inquirer
Hi guys,

a while ago I posted a thread where I share my experience with a virtuous Christian woman I met, but who decided not to move forward with me after I confessed my sinful past with her.

A few months later and God put another virtuous woman in my path. I met her, like the first one, on a serious dating platforms for Christians (I know some will see this as a red flag, but the site IS serious, with a pay wall and my previous experience with the first woman showed that there are serious people there).
She is 14 years younger than me (and she said it was not a problem for her and asked me if that was a problem for me), and she accepted my daughter from another relationship (related to my sinful past).
She told me that she is a virgin and that her parents are very strict "Free Christians" aka a protestant denomination.

She has 4 siblings all married with kids, all in the Church. She still lives at her parents, did not got to university, but did a short professional training and works in a family company.
She has very conservative family values and is against pretty much what the current evil society has to offer. Just like me.

We talked a lot for a few days where I explained why I am considering converting to Orthodoxy from Catholicism, and discussed with her why Protestantism is lacking.
She defended her faith as she should but showed willingness to come with me to a Vespers service and Divine Liturgy on the weekend.

Alas, the meeting never happened: on the day we were supposed to meet, she told me that her mother refused to let her meet me, because of my faith.
She could have come regardless, but refused to go without her mother's blessing.

She was pretty upset about this.
I told her it is fine, that she is a virtuous daughter and that I understand why her mother would refuse: her virgin daughter who she protected all her life was going to meet a man she met online, from another faith.... She replied saying that she does not feel like a good daughter because she was very angry and a good daughter must not be angry and have anger thoughts against her mother.
I suggested she talks to her dad, to which she replied that even if he agreed, she would not come without the blessing of both her parents, and that she did not want her parents to fight because of her.

We finally decided that she talks with her parents later on and ask them why they are so against her meeting me, what their issue with Orthodoxy is and so on.
I even suggest that I could meet her parents and talk to them if need be.

Just to be clear: I was not trying to convert her. We discussed many things and this topic was among them. It is also the only topic on which we don't (yet?) agree upon regarding societal issues as we pretty much view the world in the same way (very conservative and shared values and not consumerists or worldly).

What do you think I should do at this point in time? What would you do
Hi guys,

a while ago I posted a thread where I share my experience with a virtuous Christian woman I met, but who decided not to move forward with me after I confessed my sinful past with her.

A few months later and God put another virtuous woman in my path. I met her, like the first one, on a serious dating platforms for Christians (I know some will see this as a red flag, but the site IS serious, with a pay wall and my previous experience with the first woman showed that there are serious people there).
She is 14 years younger than me (and she said it was not a problem for her and asked me if that was a problem for me), and she accepted my daughter from another relationship (related to my sinful past).
She told me that she is a virgin and that her parents are very strict "Free Christians" aka a protestant denomination.

She has 4 siblings all married with kids, all in the Church. She still lives at her parents, did not got to university, but did a short professional training and works in a family company.
She has very conservative family values and is against pretty much what the current evil society has to offer. Just like me.

We talked a lot for a few days where I explained why I am considering converting to Orthodoxy from Catholicism, and discussed with her why Protestantism is lacking.
She defended her faith as she should but showed willingness to come with me to a Vespers service and Divine Liturgy on the weekend.

Alas, the meeting never happened: on the day we were supposed to meet, she told me that her mother refused to let her meet me, because of my faith.
She could have come regardless, but refused to go without her mother's blessing.

She was pretty upset about this.
I told her it is fine, that she is a virtuous daughter and that I understand why her mother would refuse: her virgin daughter who she protected all her life was going to meet a man she met online, from another faith.... She replied saying that she does not feel like a good daughter because she was very angry and a good daughter must not be angry and have anger thoughts against her mother.
I suggested she talks to her dad, to which she replied that even if he agreed, she would not come without the blessing of both her parents, and that she did not want her parents to fight because of her.

We finally decided that she talks with her parents later on and ask them why they are so against her meeting me, what their issue with Orthodoxy is and so on.
I even suggest that I could meet her parents and talk to them if need be.

Just to be clear: I was not trying to convert her. We discussed many things and this topic was among them. It is also the only topic on which we don't (yet?) agree upon regarding societal issues as we pretty much view the world in the same way (very conservative and shared values and not consumerists or worldly).

What do you think I should do at this point in time? What would you do or recommend?

Thanks.
im 63. here are my ideas: 14 yr age difference is pretty extreem in the developed world, i regret to say. that would be cake in the 3rd world.....50 yrs ago. things are changing rapidly. its harder and harder for men on the planet, period. ask roosh! i agree with your pursuing that, and i am the same. but just know that is very difficult, now.

to be gifted with a womans virginity is a massive thing. bless God. this is not easy to get. i would assume that few men ever obtain this now. you would not know if she is a virgin in advance, as well. no offence.

its not easy for a new spouse to take care of someone elses child. this can be done, but with lots of hard work.

you need a lot of money and net worth to marry anyone now in this tough world. really.

christianity is divided into 3 major categories. orthodox, protestant and catholic. different, of course, but similar in many ways. it would be a huge stretch for a buddist monk to marry a muslim extreemist, for example. see my point. but faith beliefs is a major thing that can cause strife.

the parents did not chose you. i know that hurts.

the girl made her decision not to chose you.

i pray God will bless you and your life richly.

i agree you must pursue a devoted christian girl.

TO OBTAIN THIS REQUIRES YOU BEING A COMPLETE PACKAGE.

blessings and miracles to you.

in Jesus name.
 

Edelweiss

Sparrow
Orthodox Inquirer
im 63. here are my ideas: 14 yr age difference is pretty extreem in the developed world, i regret to say. that would be cake in the 3rd world.....50 yrs ago. things are changing rapidly. its harder and harder for men on the planet, period. ask roosh! i agree with your pursuing that, and i am the same. but just know that is very difficult, now.

to be gifted with a womans virginity is a massive thing. bless God. this is not easy to get. i would assume that few men ever obtain this now. you would not know if she is a virgin in advance, as well. no offence.

its not easy for a new spouse to take care of someone elses child. this can be done, but with lots of hard work.

you need a lot of money and net worth to marry anyone now in this tough world. really.

christianity is divided into 3 major categories. orthodox, protestant and catholic. different, of course, but similar in many ways. it would be a huge stretch for a buddist monk to marry a muslim extreemist, for example. see my point. but faith beliefs is a major thing that can cause strife.

the parents did not chose you. i know that hurts.

the girl made her decision not to chose you.

i pray God will bless you and your life richly.

i agree you must pursue a devoted christian girl.

TO OBTAIN THIS REQUIRES YOU BEING A COMPLETE PACKAGE.

blessings and miracles to you.

in Jesus name.
Thanks to all the replies, especially this one.
I agree with many points.
Her mother's refusal is probably not only due to my faith but maybe also because of the age difference, my daughter...

I mean imagine this daughter telling her mother that is going to meet a man 14 years older, with a daughter from a previous relationship, whom she met online and is of different faith...

I am sure if I meet her parents, they will get to see for who I am and make a better judgement. But the girl must first convince them to meet me.

As for me, I will never consider adopting her faith.
I am in the process of adopting Orthodoxy and my heart is at peace.

If her family refuse me, then I will turn he page and pursue walking with Christ.
 

pathos

Sparrow
Orthodox Inquirer
She has very conservative family values and is against pretty much what the current evil society has to offer. Just like me.

Way too many assumptions, Edelweiss. Way too many. You met a "virtuous Christian woman"? Maybe you did. But how do you tell? Just because she has a similar outlook on society doesn't make her virtuous per se.

I wouldn't assume anything. There are too many larpers out there posing as "virtuous Christian women" who are best described as "vicious Christian women". What I mean by that is that you don't find out how "virtuous" a woman is from a date or two. It takes time and discernment.

She defended her faith as she should but showed willingness to come with me to a Vespers service and Divine Liturgy on the weekend.

Alas, the meeting never happened: on the day we were supposed to meet, she told me that her mother refused to let her meet me, because of my faith.
She could have come regardless, but refused to go without her mother's blessing.

Another way of saying "sorry, no can do".

She replied saying that she does not feel like a good daughter because she was very angry and a good daughter must not be angry and have anger thoughts against her mother.

She said that? She actually describes herself as a "good daughter"? I couldn't possibly put up with that. It repels me when I hear people self-describe themselves in such a manner. It's quite common among Evangelicals to self-style themselves as "God-fearing" but guess what, actions speak louder than words! And to be sure, some of them really are God-fearing, but those usually don't go around describing themselves as such.

To be more precise here, if she really cared so much about her parents then she'd have known your religious views would be a problem to them. In other words, she shouldn't have gotten involved with you in the first place. Now all of a sudden she must submit to her mother's will as a "good daughter". I'd say she's backpedaling. Also, you don't want a spouse who's going to put her parents above you, and with that attitude I'd wager it's likely she's that type. Honoring your parents doesn't mean you can't have legitimate and serious disagreements with them!

What do you think I should do at this point in time? What would you do or recommend?

Do yourself a favor and move on. You're in the process of converting. Focus on your conversion process and allow yourself to have some peace of mind. Getting involved with a woman (who's deeply invested in another "denomination" at that) is pretty likely to upset the conversion process, especially if you're in the early stages. You probably have more than your hands full dealing with your own baggage to be dealing with that of a woman on top of that. Don't put them on a pedestal, no matter how "virtuous" they may be. Strive for virtue yourself but don't assume anything about anyone else.
 
Last edited:

Bill Sanders

Chicken
Protestant
I am a 66 yo born-again Christian (Reformed Baptist), but also divorced and a MGTOW monk. So while I applaud your effort to find a female match, marriage is slavery. Men have no authority in the culture, church or family these days, but they are held accountable for everything. Conversely, due to feminism, women have all the authority in the culture, church or family these days, but they are not held accountable for anything. Secondly, women are ruled by their feelings. A lifetime commitment from a female means nothing.

As for your difference in faiths, it's HUGE. Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? 2 Corinthians 6:14 I ignored this command when I got married to a cultural Catholic in the Philippines - and prayed that God would help me/us. He didn't. Worst decision of my life. Those groups falsely claiming to be Christian churches are not just different denominations - they are pagan. You dodged a bullet, my friend. Praise the Lord!
 
Last edited:
Top