Milestones to hit from 26-30 years old as a male?

[SingularityOne]

What would you recommend a male focus on in this period of their lives?

I have a business that is at its cap right now (therapist/counselor), a nice house paid off in cash, growing friend group, and have leadership position at Church (Young Adult Group).

Any milestones I’m missing that y’all would recommend I channel my energy and attention into other than the obvious prayer, repentance, and humility undergirding it all in the Church?

I want a family, however, chasing women doesn’t seem like it’s recommended.

 

[Optimus Princeps]

What would you recommend a male focus on in this period of their lives?

I have a business that is at its cap right now (therapist/counselor), a nice house paid off in cash, growing friend group, and have leadership position at Church (Young Adult Group).

Any milestones I’m missing that y’all would recommend I channel my energy and attention into other than the obvious prayer, repentance, and humility undergirding it all in the Church?

I want a family, however, chasing women doesn’t seem like it’s recommended.

I'm 26 as well I think you're doing really well based on what you listed. Everyone is going to be at different parts in their life and have different goals. I don't think it's too important what someone else would think should be on your checklist to be successful, but instead what do YOU want on there and what do you enjoy doing?

It's great to have faith in God and from your posts it seems you may be too focused on doing things to attract a woman. They can sense that and it comes off as neediness, but more importantly a woman isn't the end-all be-all of a man's life purpose. I'd suggest you take a step back and just enjoy life. When your walking down the street take a deep breath and really feel in the moment and admire everything God created, notice the sounds, the wind on your face, the sunlight on your skin.

I am driven and have made good progress in terms of career, networking, and faith, but I also just try to do what I enjoy and not take anything too seriously. For example I've been playing a lot of chess recently online and with friends in person and studying theory/openings. Not because I think it would be a good, productive hobby that would benefit me in some way, which it may do, but I just enjoy doing it for fun. And I'm the same way with working out/powerlifting and playing some online games on my computer. I guess what I'm trying to say as I've seen a lot of your threads recently is that it could be good to just take it easy and do whatever you enjoy. Through doing that you'll also meet people who share your interests and have a good time forming those relationships and bettering yourself!

 

[RedLagoon]

You're smashing it dude for your age, no need to chase women they'll come to you, just avoid the obvious [] ones. Focus on your church and things will come together.

 

[SingularityOne]

I'm 26 as well I think you're doing really well based on what you listed. Everyone is going to be at different parts in their life and have different goals. I don't think it's too important what someone else would think should be on your checklist to be successful, but instead what do YOU want on there and what do you enjoy doing?

It's great to have faith in God and from your posts it seems you may be too focused on doing things to attract a woman. They can sense that and it comes off as neediness, but more importantly a woman isn't the end-all be-all of a man's life purpose. I'd suggest you take a step back and just enjoy life. When your walking down the street take a deep breath and really feel in the moment and admire everything God created, notice the sounds, the wind on your face, the sunlight on your skin.

I am driven and have made good progress in terms of career, networking, and faith, but I also just try to do what I enjoy and not take anything too seriously. For example I've been playing a lot of chess recently online and with friends in person and studying theory/openings. Not because I think it would be a good, productive hobby that would benefit me in some way, which it may do, but I just enjoy doing it for fun. And I'm the same way with working out/powerlifting and playing some online games on my computer. I guess what I'm trying to say as I've seen a lot of your threads recently is that it could be good to just take it easy and do whatever you enjoy. Through doing that you'll also meet people who share your interests and have a good time forming those relationships and bettering yourself!

Yeah, you’re right about having things on there that I wan joy and want. I do realize I’m focusing way too much on women. I’ve struggled with neediness in the past and have really come a long way in reducing that. The loneliness that influences that neediness I’m trying to combat with male friendship and commodore alongside trusting Gods Will and asking Him for patience and trust. Sometimes I think I take in the cultural narrative and think women are the “end-all-be-all” and then, in pride, try to take on the process myself and I lose that present moment joy that you speak of here. That’s exactly what my spiritual father told me to do funnily enough (the joy in the present moment activities). Chess and the gym are funnily-enough things I do right now. However, I see your point in being more present and focused on activities that aren’t undergirded by the goal to get women as that isn’t the right mindset for this contented-joy you’re detailing here. Thanks for the encouraging reply.

Side-note; if you play chess on chess.com dm me your username as I play quite a bit with one of my friends too.

 

[SingularityOne]

You're smashing it dude for your age, no need to chase women they'll come to you, just avoid the obvious [] ones. Focus on your church and things will come together.

I guess I’ve never had that experience of women I’m attracted to chasing me, but maybe that comes as the tables turn regarding age. What do you mean by avoiding the obvious “[]” ones? Maybe you put an emoji there and it didn’t come through. I’ll focus on Church along with what Optimus Princeps said above. Appreciate it brother.

 

[Seth_Rose]

Seems like you're in really good shape for your age! Starting a family seems like the next logical step.

 

[BLMeToo]

What would you recommend a male focus on in this period of their lives?

I have a business that is at its cap right now (therapist/counselor), a nice house paid off in cash, growing friend group, and have leadership position at Church (Young Adult Group).

Any milestones I’m missing that y’all would recommend I channel my energy and attention into other than the obvious prayer, repentance, and humility undergirding it all in the Church?

I want a family, however, chasing women doesn’t seem like it’s recommended.

Honestly, sounds like you're doing awesome! Great for you!

One thing I'd recommend, if you haven't, is taking up some kind of martial art. Yes, you can do it when you're older, but especially for things like BJJ and some kind of legit striking art, it's just damn harder and will take you longer to progress. You're still young enough that it won't be too hard on your body, but old enough to take it seriously. And, if you can, start to take up shooting. But that, and physical fitness in general, would be a great place to proceed.

 

[SingularityOne]

Seems like you're in really good shape for your age! Starting a family seems like the next logical step.

Haha, exactly. That’s why I’m so focused on women right now. But, it seems that focusing on women as the mission/goal isn’t the healthiest thing for me right now.

 

[SingularityOne]

Honestly, sounds like you're doing awesome! Great for you!

One thing I'd recommend, if you haven't, is taking up some kind of martial art. Yes, you can do it when you're older, but especially for things like BJJ and some kind of legit striking art, it's just damn harder and will take you longer to progress. You're still young enough that it won't be too hard on your body, but old enough to take it seriously. And, if you can, start to take up shooting. But that, and physical fitness in general, would be a great place to proceed.

Thanks man, I appreciate it.

I’ll look into BJJ. My roommate actually does that so I have an in. I’ve been looking at grabbing a pistol anyways regarding what you said about shooting. Actually at the gym right now, so fitness is already on the regimen! Although, BJJ may be a better use of my time since it can also help with self-confidence, stress reduction, and focus (which I need for my job as a therapist/counselor). Thanks for the feedback and recommendations brother.

 

[Hypno]

Congratulations on what you have accomplished.

But I would encourage you to focus less on what you have accomplished and more on enjoying the journey.

Take your mind off of achieving specific goals, like having a wife and family by a certain date, by volunteering. It will change your perspective, and you will expand your social circle.

Where Do You Volunteer?

I work at a restore where they re-purpose furniture and appliances. It feels good knowing I'm helping out the community while learning useful skills. Can everyone share what you like to do in your spare time and how you find it personally benefiting?

www.rooshvforum.com

 

[Seth_Rose]

I would also second doing MMA--one of my biggest regrets of my 20s was not doing any. There are a lot of benefits from it: Mental, social, and of course physlcal.

 

[Optimus Princeps]

Yeah, you’re right about having things on there that I wan joy and want. I do realize I’m focusing way too much on women. I’ve struggled with neediness in the past and have really come a long way in reducing that. The loneliness that influences that neediness I’m trying to combat with male friendship and commodore alongside trusting Gods Will and asking Him for patience and trust. Sometimes I think I take in the cultural narrative and think women are the “end-all-be-all” and then, in pride, try to take on the process myself and I lose that present moment joy that you speak of here. That’s exactly what my spiritual father told me to do funnily enough (the joy in the present moment activities). Chess and the gym are funnily-enough things I do right now. However, I see your point in being more present and focused on activities that aren’t undergirded by the goal to get women as that isn’t the right mindset for this contented-joy you’re detailing here. Thanks for the encouraging reply.

Side-note; if you play chess on chess.com dm me your username as I play quite a bit with one of my friends too.

That's funny that you're into both of those as well. Honestly it seems like I struggle with the same thing you do, which is why I had a reply, because that is what is at least helping me. I would also second doing mma. I did wrestling in high school and have done some bjj afterwards. While there isn't really any adult wrestling, bjj would be a great place to meet like-minded men. I'm sure mma, kickboxing or muay thai would be as well, as long as you're okay with getting hit in the face. I'll shoot you a pm with my chess.com, you're probably higher rated than me though haha.

 

[SingularityOne]

Congratulations on what you have accomplished.

But I would encourage you to focus less on what you have accomplished and more on enjoying the journey.

Take your mind off of achieving specific goals, like having a wife and family by a certain date, by volunteering. It will change your perspective, and you will expand your social circle.

Where Do You Volunteer?

I work at a restore where they re-purpose furniture and appliances. It feels good knowing I'm helping out the community while learning useful skills. Can everyone share what you like to do in your spare time and how you find it personally benefiting?

www.rooshvforum.com

Thank you.

Enjoying the journey is the hardest thing for me since I struggle with gratefulness and joy. But, I know I can focus my attention on the present in prayer and focus on giving back to others from a place of love and humility. Thanks for the encouragement and idea of volunteering.

 

[Hypno]

Reading your posts, I get the sense that you are very achievement oriented and conscientious, but still self-focussed, which is not uncommon for someone your age.

One suggestion. Don't think about volunteering as requiring a sacrifice or humility, or that what you contribute has great value to the receiving organization. Instead, think of it as helping and learning about different parts of your community, like auditing a class in college. Over time, growth will occur and you will be more focussed on others. Aside from the spiritual benefits, this will pay you many tangible benefits in the quality of your relationships, network, your ability to connect and provide value to others in business, etc.

 

[YeahRight]

Sure brah. So how much did your parents help you? Paid off house at 26? Stop the humble brag and the blatant lying. Psych and therapist degrees are the worst from an ROI perspective and you expect us to believe this.

If you really want to help bust out a finance datasheet that doesn't include my parents and rich family gave me a lot of money.

 

[cosine]

Sure brah. So how much did your parents help you? Paid off house at 26? Stop the humble brag and the blatant lying. Psych and therapist degrees are the worst from an ROI perspective and you expect us to believe this.

If you really want to help bust out a finance datasheet that doesn't include my parents and rich family gave me a lot of money.

Psych degrees have lousy ROI because the hordes of sorority girls don't actually become therapists.

This guy might have had family help, I sure did, but who cares? His paid-off house could be a $65k house outside Indianapolis, or it could be $1M in Florida, or international. I have no idea, and neither do you.

 

[Sargon2112]

So what if his family did help him? It's good he has one that can, if that is the case. He asked for advice going forward from where he is, regardless of the resources at his disposal.

 

[KingCorfu]

Sure brah. So how much did your parents help you? Paid off house at 26? Stop the humble brag and the blatant lying. Psych and therapist degrees are the worst from an ROI perspective and you expect us to believe this.

If you really want to help bust out a finance datasheet that doesn't include my parents and rich family gave me a lot of money.

I did a liberal arts degree equivalent and I make good money that is quite honestly 10-20x the average of my uni peers.

However as a man and father in my mid thirties and being 5-10 years older and just been through what you are planning for, my advice would be set yourself up with a second local property for either commercial or residential letting.

This will give you a good goal if your house is paid off and provide a solid investment / passive income / pension.

I would also make space to read as much and as widely as you can.

I would also pick a few bucket list travel trips to arrange. Don’t break the bank but if you are about to start the road to family life having some experience and stories under your belt will help a lot.

You are currently in a position to be the most selfish you can ever be as a grown man. Use it to your long term benefit.

On the other hand stay away from:
Tattoos
Debt (except for a mortgage on the above investment property)
Fast food
Loose women
Politics
Get rich quick schemes
People who are engrossed in the above

If you can achieve that you will be miles ahead of our contemporaries.

 

[WhyAmIHere]

I did a liberal arts degree equivalent and I make good money that is quite honestly 10-20x the average of my uni peers.

However as a man and father in my mid thirties and being 5-10 years older and just been through what you are planning for, my advice would be set yourself up with a second local property for either commercial or residential letting.

This will give you a good goal if your house is paid off and provide a solid investment / passive income / pension.

I would also make space to read as much and as widely as you can.

I would also pick a few bucket list travel trips to arrange. Don’t break the bank but if you are about to start the road to family life having some experience and stories under your belt will help a lot.

You are currently in a position to be the most selfish you can ever be as a grown man. Use it to your long term benefit.

On the other hand stay away from:
Tattoos
Debt (except for a mortgage on the above investment property)
Fast food
Loose women
Politics
Get rich quick schemes

Dude no you don't. The median salary for a liberal arts degree is like 40k. Are you telling me you make 400 to 800K? For the love of God stop lying. It's disgraceful to see this big ballerism fakery from Christians.

 

[KingCorfu]

Dude no you don't. The median salary for a liberal arts degree is like 40k. Are you telling me you make 400 to 800K? For the love of God stop lying. It's disgraceful to see this big ballerism fakery from Christians.

My business is in no way related to my degree if that makes you feel better and I was very lucky to have the right set of circumstances line up with my personal life so that I could take the risks financially and apply myself.

Currently in the Uk a skilled tradesmen can make £2k per week in my industry. I employ 95 people.

Anyway, the advice I have given to OP still stands even if I am a mere Walter Mitty fantasist typing from my mothers basement (which we don’t really have over here).

If you have done well Set another goal that will keep you focused on a goal that will increase your Strucutral wealth and stay away from distractions which will detract from you socially, financially and spiritually.

I also wish I had invested more in exercise and nutrition in my late twenties.