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<blockquote data-quote="Edek" data-source="post: 1526490" data-attributes="member: 22534">Sounds bad, being in limbo is often worse than having a situation conclude badly.You aren&#039;t married to your girl, and she is behaving in a way that would make her a terrible wife. I stayed in a couple of &quot;fun but going nowhere serious&quot; relationships far too long, and I regret it on several levels. If you aren&#039;t clear with yourself about whether you are serious about marriage, or happy to fornicate while the getting&#039;s good while she does what she wants, then you can&#039;t expect her to respect your leadership, especially when she is out-earning you (happened to me, anyway).It is practically impossible to put another person first, and I doubt it would even be good if it were (apart from with young children, who are kind of a &quot;dependant extension&quot; of you anyway when they are babies) - I can&#039;t operate anyone&#039;s mind and body except my own. I can&#039;t &quot;make someone happy&quot;, that&#039;s not realistic. Happiness is an emotion, emotions come and go (thank God), and they are based on all sorts of factors that cannot possibly be controlled by one other human. I had long conversations with two women in my extended family / friends who divorced their husbands. The ex-husbands were loyal, reliable Delta males with no other life plans except working hard and &quot;making their family happy&quot;. Outside of work and family time, I estimate that, apart from commuting, they had three or four hours a week of time to themselves mostly at the gym or socialising with groups of colleagues briefly after work.Both women gave effectively the same reason for divorcing these decent men &quot;I often felt lonely and/or bored around him&quot;.I only know that the purpose of this life is not fulfilling my desires. It is to love the Lord and keep his commandments, which is easier said than done. I am no one to give advice on that score.</blockquote>

[QUOTE="Edek, post: 1526490, member: 22534"] Sounds bad, being in limbo is often worse than having a situation conclude badly. You aren't married to your girl, and she is behaving in a way that would make her a terrible wife. I stayed in a couple of "fun but going nowhere serious" relationships far too long, and I regret it on several levels. If you aren't clear with yourself about whether you are serious about marriage, or happy to fornicate while the getting's good while she does what she wants, then you can't expect her to respect your leadership, especially when she is out-earning you (happened to me, anyway). It is practically impossible to put another person first, and I doubt it would even be good if it were (apart from with young children, who are kind of a "dependant extension" of you anyway when they are babies) - I can't operate anyone's mind and body except my own. I can't "make someone happy", that's not realistic. Happiness is an emotion, emotions come and go (thank God), and they are based on all sorts of factors that cannot possibly be controlled by one other human. I had long conversations with two women in my extended family / friends who divorced their husbands. The ex-husbands were loyal, reliable Delta males with no other life plans except working hard and "making their family happy". Outside of work and family time, I estimate that, apart from commuting, they had three or four hours a week of time to themselves mostly at the gym or socialising with groups of colleagues briefly after work. Both women gave effectively the same reason for divorcing these decent men "I often felt lonely and/or bored around him". I only know that the purpose of this life is not fulfilling my desires. It is to love the Lord and keep his commandments, which is easier said than done. I am no one to give advice on that score. [/QUOTE]

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