My story how I met my wife


I wanted to share my story with all of you. I have been an avid consumer of this forum since 2007. I was into the travel section mostly as I was in the military and I did contracting. I subscribed to the same mindset as the older roosh material when we saw a decay in relationships.

The hookup scene was fueled by both sides even if you got it going on women still wanted something temporary or what you cannot provide (monkey branching). Throughout my 20s I dated in America and other countries and saw the vast differences between foreign and American. At first I touted foreign women as better from the start because of the feminine treatment I received. I did learn while this true there is still some pitfalls such as cultural differences.

When I finally moved to a large city in Texas and sowed my roots, I tried my hand at dating again because I thought I would have better success with southern women who are usually often claimed to be more conservative. Well, that was wrong as I quickly realized the dating scene was just as much as a dumpster fire whether it was in NYC, NOVA, large and small towns of Texas.

So I tried online dating through christian based websites in 2019 during the spring. I casted a wide net and did not limit myself to country. After 6 months of messaging women back and forth I finally came across my wife. Her profile narrative and pictures were extremely modest. First few weeks we talked on whatsapp and video calling I was in disbelief that I possibly stumbled upon a blessing. I was doubtful considering I have been on the dating scene for nearly a decade. This continued for 3 months after getting to know her better.

Even though she had no restrictions on her life she always asked her father permission for everything, never left the house unless it was to go with friends to eat or church. She doesn't drink and never seen inside of a bar her entire life.

I decided after sometime that we should meet each other, so I booked a flight to her country (beginning of 2020 when we started catching wind of corona). Another good sign was her father drove her to the airport to pick us up and explained she had a curfew. I stayed at a hotel down the street and we spent the entire 2 weeks together. She cooked me a lot of amazing food and I was pleasantly surprised at 22 she could make a variety of meals effortlessly.

She was very clear since the beginning what she wanted, marriage and kids in two years. As you can guess she never had relations with a man before. Her father called every few hours to check up on her, explained to me the ground rules and sometimes joined us for lunch. I knew after 2 weeks I was going to marry this woman but I had to make sure over the course of a year for compatibility reasons.

She got lucky and accepted a job in America and over the course of many months her and i visited each other and I eventually proposed to her. We are technically married now but we had to do the courthouse ordeal to start the immigration paperwork. If you are sponsoring a foreign wife in America make sure all the paperwork is in order. I know that sounds like common sense but you will know what I'm writing when you go through the most garbage process.

Some of you are not going to like what I'm about to write. A lot of you on here have this mental masterbation on how you want your wife to be. I understand some of generic askings such as being attractive and nice etc but this whole she must be foreign or a certain skin color is really hurting your chances at finding someone to be with. Also to add, what do you bring to the table? Are you decent looking, have cash, assets, great communicating skills (ability to assess someone) and other suitable partner traits? Patience is one of the prerequisites as it took me 6 months of constant screening plus another 3 months of talking with her before I even traveled to her country. How bad do you actually want it? I say this because I traveled to her country, back and forth to the state she worked in and we talk every single day. Spent alot of money between travel, the ring and immigration paperwork. To top it off with after I left her country covid was in full swing and we still made it work. Writing of immigration paperwork I'm going to show my format of how we got accepted at the end.

Her father knows everything about me and when my wife comes across a problem, I offer my solution and 95% of the time her father offers the same solution and agrees with me on most matters, meaning we share similar mental states.

My screening method ( if you want to call it that), I never asked her direct questions and I let her reveal herself to me. It's very easy to ask a question and for them to tell you what they want you to hear. To properly vet a person for marriage I learned it takes time to find out if your initial counter with her was genuine because over the course of time a person lets their guard down and reveals their true self. While revealing her true self you have to see how she handles difficult situations whether through conflict that's not controlled (situations that are encountered) and controlled (relational differences that were too liberal for her).

If you have a history meaning bad family life or you participated in hookup culture, I don't recommend you telling them everything up front because that will scare her off, but if she asks obviously tell the truth. I grew up poor, trailer trash, and other questionable things that I wouldn't want to mention on here. Over time I would tell her things, how I overcame it and moved on. It also helps that I'm more successful than people who lived a straight life despite my upbringing and self sabotage.

We had some cultural and relational differences we needed to work out. I have been accused by my friends that I’m a nazi conservative meanwhile my wife thinks I'm more of a moderate liberal leaner. I say this because for example I don't associate with gay people (have no problem with them or their existence I just don't hang out with them) but my wife sees a serious issue with them and thinks my tolerance is too much (when we go out and she sees it the face of disgusts creeps her face). My wife understands that as a Christian she's not suppose to judge them but she believes their existence is an issue. She did bring up a good points on how Netflix, Disney and other media outlets are normalizing pedophilia and queer content.

I'm for legalizing drugs because as a leo I realize how ineffective it is to press charges on people for just consumption. She doesn't understand it nor agrees. While they're some other disagreements, you see where I'm going.

My wife came home slightly over a month ago and its going great and I know its way too early to call this a victory but we been through some crap throughout 2020. The delay of her work visa and the shut down off borders caused serious issues. Her employer who tried to divide us against each other and her being home sick made things difficult. She had a few emotional breakdowns because she was overworked and underpaid. For 13 months of our journey has been rough but I helped her keep her faith even with all the roadblocks we encountered (her vacation being denied, denied by immigration the first time).

I have met well over a 1000 women in my life time through conversation and dating. There were very few that were marriage material for someone (not me). I seen on these forums how *most* women are marriage material if they’re not fat nor have kids and I call bullshit. Most women from college aged to my age 32 are done for. My wife (23) and I were eating sushi the other day at a restaurant and I overheard a conversation of 3 women and 1 guy talking about dating, their ages ranged from 25-30. The girls were constantly complaining about how trash men are and still playing the field and they cannot find a decent guy to be with. We know thats bullshit as there has been guys throughout their life they have met that could of been great partners as women have a vast selection of choice compared to men.

Im not going to sit here and say how awesome my wife is (she definitely is) as I wouldn’t of went through the process to be with her if she wasn’t. To find your person, it's a lot of work. A lot of patience, respect and diligence is required. Developing a good relationship with her family is obviously a definite. If you guys have any questions just ask, im not a great story teller lol.

The picture is the application I sent to immigration. 4.5lbs. Doing it myself I saved 4,000 dollars.

To who this may concern,

The follow documents enclosed are I-130, Petition for Alien Relative; I-130A, Supplemental Information for Spouse Beneficiary; Evidence of Bona Fide Marriage; I-485, Application to Register Permanent Residence or Adjust Status; I-864, Affidavit of Support; I-944, Declaration of Self-Sufficiency; Form I-765, Application for Employment Authorization.

Table of contents

Part I

1-130 & I-130A, Petition for Alien Relative and Supplemental Information for Spouse Beneficiary.

Personal Check: $535.00 for Form I-130;

G-1145, E-Notification of Application/Petition Acceptance;

2 passport-style photos of Petitioner;

2 passport-style photos of Beneficiary;

Form I-130, Petition for Alien Relative;

Form I-130A, Supplemental Information for Spouse Beneficiary;

Copy of Petitioner's birth certificate;

Copy of Beneficiary's birth certificate (original language and translated)

Copy of Petitioner's U.S. passport all pages;

Copy of Beneficiary's passport biographic page

Copy of Beneficiary’s USA Visa

Certified copy of Marriage Certificate

Part II.

Affidavits (3)

Relationship Letter by Petitioner

Relationship Letter by Beneficiary

Album of Photos by Beneficiary; visit to **** with photos, boarding passes, visa stamps, photos with beneficiaries father; chats on whatsapp; hotels and booking receipts; pictures from different trips;

Photos of us in ****, **** and ****** condensed…..Pg 1

Flights….Pg 2

Petitioners passport photo stamp going to ****

-Petitioners flights back and forth to ***** from ****

-Beneficiary’s flight from ***** to *****

-Beneficiary’s flights back and forth to ***** from ****

Hotels that the petitioner booked while in ***** and *****…Pg 3

Whatsapp conversation screen captures for each month we been talking….Pg 4

Letter that Beneficiary wrote to the petitioner before trip to *****…..Pg 5

Part III

I-485, Application to Register Permanent Residence or Adjust Status

Personal Check: $1,225.00 for Form I-485 and Form I-765;

G-1145, E-Notification of Application/Petition Acceptance;

2 Passport style photos of Beneficiary

Form I-485, Adjustment of Status

Copy of Beneficiary's passport biographic page

Copy of Beneficiary’s USA Visa

Form I-94 Arrival-Departure Record

Copy of Form DS-2019 from 2020-2021 J1 Exchange Visitor Program

Copy of Form DS-2019 from 2020-2021 J1 Exchange Visitor Program (Updated)

Copy of Job offer for 2020-2021 J1 Exchange Visitor Program

Copy of SEVIS I-901 application confirmation

Copy of Beneficiary’s police background check from ***** (original language and translated)

Copy of Marriage Certificate

Part IV

I-864 affidavit for support

Petitioners most recent tax return 2019,2018,2017

Petitioners last paystub for 2020

Copy of petitioners passport biographic page

Copy of petitioners birth certificate

Copy of marriage certificate

Part V

I-944 Declaration of self-sufficiency

G-1145 E- notification of Application/petition Acceptance

Copy of marriage certificate

Beneficiary’s Chase Bank statements

Beneficiary’s high school degree and grades (original language and translated)

Petitioner’s 2019 tax return form

Petitioner’s Last Paystub for 2020

Petitioner’s Chase Bank 12 months of statements

Petitioner’s Credit report

Beneficiary’s Credit report

Copy of Social Security Cards

Petitioner’s mortgage report

Petitioner’s deed of trust for house in *****

Petitioner’s Vanguard and 457B retirement accounts

Our insurance I have through the Petitioners job

Beneficiary’s work insurance

Part VI

I-765 Application for Employment Authorization

G-1145 E- notification of Application/petition Acceptance

2 Passport style photos of beneficiary

Form I-94 Arrival Departure Record

Copy of Beneficiary’s Passport Page
Happy for you! A lot of those documents look familiar from when I petitioned my wife from the Philippines. I did use an agent though, I think I would have been overwhelmed without his help.
How reasonable is it to do the paper work yourself and nix the lawyer, who just has his paralegal do it? Alternatively, can Legalzoom or a paralegal be retained to do the paperwork?

The paperwork is not reasonable at all and it's a pain in the ass. Considering we have the biden administration that restricted the power of uscis it's going to be easier to get approved. You could try those avenues but honestly you should really do the paperwork yourself because at the end of the day you are the one who really cares and the people who you are paying just want a check.

If you have time and resources then go for it. My wife is cheap and we got in an argument about hiring someone and it came close to the point where she almost fell out of status lol. Seriously do it yourself because you will learn alot about the process.