My view on dating in the USA.....is this accurate?

Thanks for this thread guys, now I am thoroughly depressed and demoralized.
Yeah I know it can be really depressing to learn the truth of all these things.

But my best angle I can give you is to tell you is that if a girl is good-natured and if the attraction is genuine, everything will be "simple".

Girls who complicate things are just endless bottomless pits.

Girls who are worth their weight in Gold and have Substance and Serenity - they are simple and straightforward, there is no confusion.
 
Over the last 2.5 years I have been on dates with over 100 different women. Some weeks I had a new woman every day. Some months I'd spend $2000 just on dating alone. Within that period of time I had about 3 relationships that lasted 2-3 months. I met all these women either through online dating or going out to the bar.

It is absolutely brutal out there. Most women are crass, over-confident, combative/competitive, egotistic, masculine and greedy. Not a single woman has been worth my time. Everything you say is accurate. Most of these women overvalue themselves and act as if you are worth nothing to them. Even the 200 pound fat girl feel entitled to you. Women see relationships as purely transactional. You are nothing more than an accessory to their lifestyle. I don't think the majority of women understand love at all or desire it.

I'm just going to second that other guy regarding Russians. Stay the fuck away from Russians. They look and sound good on paper but they're the most selfish and uncompromising out there.

I've really been at a loss lately on this subject lately which is why I'm on here. It's the one thing in my life I wish I could complete. My latest probably bad idea is I'm going hiking with a group of Mormon on Sunday.

Sadly, I think romantic relationships are pretty much over. You can find business partnerships out there that you can engage in if you're willing to settle for a woman your heart will never truly desire who will never truly excite you but if you seek love, passion and intimacy, you're pretty much out of luck. Almost every country worth living in has been compromised and if you bring any woman back to a civilization that has promoted sexual liberation and cultural marxism (almost all developed countries), she'll eventually turn on you as she becomes greedy like everyone else.

You have to find women who have a solid grounding in an impersonal morality. I think silos of extremely religious women or women from small towns in countries where they don't speak English might be the only places left.
Oh man, so Based! Everything you said, especially about the 200 pound fat girl feeling entitled to you (I just recently experienced this!).
 
God wants man and woman to pair up and have a great marriage. That means there is a woman out there for each man and vice versa. But many men get stuck in the dating scene and come away demoralized, bitter, etc. The thing is, our mission to be the best man we can be ever changes. We should always focus on being the best version of ourselves, and I guarantee God will then pair us up with the right woman. I agree with OP and others about the terrible state of the nation and dating scene but the right woman is always out there. We have to be patient and put God first.

Let me say, I am a wretch of a man. I was engaged to a wonderful Christian girl and lost her to me sins of laziness, selfishness, dopamine addiction. In general not being led by Christ but by my own selfish, sinful desires. The last few months since we broke up have been tough but I see light break through the clouds at times. I know I just have to put and keep God #1, and he will naturally bless me with a #2 (a wife.) Something a guest pastor said at church shortly after our breakup that made me cry bittersweet tears. He said that sometimes God closes the door on one thing so that something better can open up. That is nothing groundbreaking, but it's how he followed that that was amazing. That we have a tendency to think that second thing couldn't POSSIBLY be better than the first. We sort of grumpily accept this but assume it will be a concession prize. No! God wants us to have the abundant life. He wants our dreams to come true, including romantically. All the times things didn't work out dating-wise was just God closing doors so that he could open the one to the real deal, the true prize. It's easy to see how bad things are for single people but it's that very thinking which makes it bad. Get our minds off of that and into being a servant of Christ and we can have a great marriage.
 
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Do not worry about "finding" a "soulmate", soulmates are simply a chivalric, bluepill innovation. The fish are plentiful abroad, in all kinds and varieties. The key is getting a good "ark" (aka thy **** you money) and simply heading there. Do not concern your 20s and 30s with the distraction of western landwhales. Like Noah before you leave the hellhole that is the west behind.
 

Easy_C

Peacock
For another one:

Ive found one good litmus test that works on Catholicmatch: On the faith questions there is one for whether or not the person agrees with the Catholic Church’s teaching on contraception. Anecdotally I felt it did a very good job of a screening out which ones are serious and have the right mindset versus those who don’t. Almost without exception the ones who I felt weren’t serious had indicated disagreement and those who I felt were good potentials had marked that they agreed with the contraception ban.
 

GWYW2015

Woodpecker
Thanks for this thread guys, now I am thoroughly depressed and demoralized.
It's a big world out there. I am one of many who found a wife in the Philippines. Yes, I wish it wasn't almost 10,000 miles away BUT I have been married for almost six years now. I want to encourage others to not wait as long as I did.
 

GWYW2015

Woodpecker
Enjoy that giant pot of beef sinigang bro.
Most of the foods in the Philippines are the opposite of how I eat over here in America. I prefer a lot of meat and a little of anything else, but in the Philippines it is a lot of rice and a little meat. I can eat as much as my wife's family combined so I have to really watch my appetite over there.
 

GWYW2015

Woodpecker
God wants man and woman to pair up and have a great marriage. That means there is a woman out there for each man and vice versa. But many men get stuck in the dating scene and come away demoralized, bitter, etc. The thing is, our mission to be the best man we can be ever changes. We should always focus on being the best version of ourselves, and I guarantee God will then pair us up with the right woman. I agree with OP and others about the terrible state of the nation and dating scene but the right woman is always out there. We have to be patient and put God first.

Let me say, I am a wretch of a man. I was engaged to a wonderful Christian girl and lost her to me sins of laziness, selfishness, dopamine addiction. In general not being led by Christ but by my own selfish, sinful desires. The last few months since we broke up have been tough but I see light break through the clouds at times. I know I just have to put and keep God #1, and he will naturally bless me with a #2 (a wife.) Something a guest pastor said at church shortly after our breakup that made me cry bittersweet tears. He said that sometimes God closes the door on one thing so that something better can open up. That is nothing groundbreaking, but it's how he followed that that was amazing. That we have a tendency to think that second thing couldn't POSSIBLY be better than the first. We sort of grumpily accept this but assume it will be a concession prize. No! God wants us to have the abundant life. He wants our dreams to come true, including romantically. All the times things didn't work out dating-wise was just God closing doors so that he could open the one to the real deal, the true prize. It's easy to see how bad things are for single people but it's that very thinking which makes it bad. Get our minds off of that and into being a servant of Christ and we can have a great marriage.
I like your comment about closing doors. I thought about that during many years alone ("this is so difficult I wonder if God is keeping me from opportunites for now?). I finally got married at 53 and people would have thought I was crazy to actually look for the type of woman I found.
 
Today I went to church indoors for the first time since this Scamdemic started at a great church I found in my local area. The congregation and Senior Pastor are likeminded as me on how I feel about the stupid masks. Hardly anyone wears it there and I was blown away when I found this out because I am in a hardcore Commie state. First impression's are its a large congregation with a good mix of young and old people; not like those nightmare scenarios where you find out most of the gals are 65 or older, there's like 5 gals in their 20's and 30's and most everyone is married. I've turned over a new leaf in my life and for a while gave up and was just happy with casual relationships but now I want something more serious. I decided to tie up the loose ends of my life and really focus and I feel like this is really my chance to serve God without wavering like I did in the past. Thanks for listening.
 

CynicalContrarian

Owl
Gold Member
...
but simply to gauge the accuracy of my observations/conclusions.
...

I am by no means perfect. However, I am sober enough in my thought to see that many women who would make below average mothers/mates have an inflated sense of self.

Again, I try to gauge the accuracy of my conclusions
...

When I step back and analyze this all from a macro perspective: ...


Can't say I read the whole thread.
Bear with me it if was already mentioned.
Just that, in reading the OP, I noticed one key factor.

The following is not to besmirch, begrudge or dismiss the OP.
As quite frankly, it is a factor that I also encounter when dealing with modern young woman (& all their myriad of flaws).

By the OP's very writing style & choice of words, I can gather that OP is a far more rational / logical / objective mind than the norm.
Especially in comparison to your average young modern woman.

As such, OP is probably on a 'higher wavelength' than most young modern woman & doesn't match well with their more self-centric, emotive & subjective minds.

There's even dating advice out there, which postulates that you have to be very mindful of how a woman feels & to be able to present yourself in such a way which heightens or appeals to her feelings. As opposed to being overly rational / logical / objective.

For a while there, I would have figured that appealing to a woman's feelings is very much a key factor in successful modern dating.
Yet now...?
Despite that I have a good relationship with a nice, demure & feminine gal who is more conservative by nature than normal.

Even if I was single.
Even though I know a guy has to appeal to a woman's feelings in order to do well at dating.

Can't say I'd even bother anymore...
Should I become single again in the near future.
Can't say I'd even be too fussed.
As the hassle & nonsense that is involved with modern dating is too illogical & too irrational for my highly rational / objective mind.

Not inclined to dumb myself down for some foolish female or silly skank...
 
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72% of Americans are overweight or obese. Most of the other 28% are skinny-fat.

Maybe 3-4% diet AND exercise (to the point where it works). Most of them are under 25, so immature and in fun mode.

Something less than 30% report as single. If you’re above 140 IQ, you’re in the 1%. If you will accept a much less intelligent partner you probably need to trade IQ for agreeableness—but Western society raises women (and men) to be uncooperative.

This leaves you with fun in your teens. Increasingly fat fun in your 20s. Past 25, immature/fat fun that is no longer worth the effort.

Most good women will be held onto for dear life by men. Even then, those guys tolerate being cheated on, delaying kids, uncooperative personalities, etc.

Dating is difficult if you’re less than a male 8 in SMV or make average salary. Probably best to look abroad.

Especially past 30. In America, age gaps of more than 3 years are tough to reconcile. Past age 40, you really have no viable options at all in America.

Though that changes if you’re a low value male, overweight, and low IQ yourself. Then your options for a corresponding match aren’t that bad.
 
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GWYW2015

Woodpecker
Can't say I read the whole thread.
Bear with me it if was already mentioned.
Just that, in reading the OP, I noticed one key factor.

The following is not to besmirch, begrudge or dismiss the OP.
As quite frankly, it is a factor that I also encounter when dealing with modern young woman (& all their myriad of flaws).

By the OP's very writing style & choice of words, I can gather that OP is a far more rational / logical / objective mind than the norm.
Especially in comparison to your average young modern woman.

As such, OP is probably on a 'higher wavelength' than most young modern woman & doesn't match well with their more self-centric, emotive & subjective minds.

There's even dating advice out there, which postulates that you have to be very mindful of how a woman feels & to be able to present yourself in such a way which heightens or appeals to her feelings. As opposed to being overly rational / logical / objective.

For a while there, I would have figured that appealing to a woman's feelings is very much a key factor in successful modern dating.
Yet now...?
Despite that I have a good relationship with a nice, demure & feminine gal who is more conservative by nature than normal.

Even if I was single.
Even though I know a guy has to appeal to a woman's feelings in order to do well at dating.

Can't say I'd even bother anymore...
Should I become single again in the near future.
Can't say I'd even be too fussed.
As the hassle & nonsense that is involved with modern dating is too illogical & too irrational for my highly rational / objective mind.

Not inclined to dumb myself down for some foolish female or silly skank...
I don't think you need to dumb yourself down to please a woman. There are certain things a man needs to do however like be unselfish, forgiving, generous, kind, faithful. She won't care how rich or intelligent a man is, she will care how she is treated by him.
 

CynicalContrarian

Owl
Gold Member
I don't think you need to dumb yourself down to please a woman. There are certain things a man needs to do however like be unselfish, forgiving, generous, kind, faithful. She won't care how rich or intelligent a man is, she will care how she is treated by him.

Which is fine for the more traditional or conservative gals. IE the gal I am in a relationship with now.
Yet what of the more narcissistic, superficial & Clownish modern gals?

I'm not inclined to appeal to a modern gal by placating to her more frivolous, foolish & superficial feelings.

You can only have one captain of the ship. Although a captain does greatly benefit from a good 2IC.
Said 2IC should be caring & compliant to the good captain.
Not cunty & combative.

After-all. Who is the real prize? Some random bint? Or the traditional head of the household?
 

GWYW2015

Woodpecker
Which is fine for the more traditional or conservative gals. IE the gal I am in a relationship with now.
Yet what of the more narcissistic, superficial & Clownish modern gals?

I'm not inclined to appeal to a modern gal by placating to her more frivolous, foolish & superficial feelings.

You can only have one captain of the ship. Although a captain does greatly benefit from a good 2IC.
Said 2IC should be caring & compliant to the good captain.
Not cunty & combative.

After-all. Who is the real prize? Some random bint? Or the traditional head of the household?
Right, there is no reason to appeal to a woman who is not good marriage material but any marriage partner is going to be a sinner and imperfect. Other than than, there is loneliness. The Holy Spirit can guide both people to learn how to love each other better after they are married.
 

Blade Runner

Pelican
Do not worry about "finding" a "soulmate", soulmates are simply a chivalric, bluepill innovation. The fish are plentiful abroad, in all kinds and varieties. The key is getting a good "ark" (aka thy **** you money) and simply heading there. Do not concern your 20s and 30s with the distraction of western landwhales. Like Noah before you leave the hellhole that is the west behind.
100%
 

Blade Runner

Pelican
Past age 40, you really have no viable options at all in America.
Yes, this is so close to a fact (you could get lucky but I'm guessing the likelihood is that it would be a girl you wouldn't want to be with long term, even if she's young) the only good thing about it is that it forces you to go abroad if you are interested in something reasonable.

Yes, "it only takes 1" but the problem is that there isn't enough volume to get the right match. Remember, you gotta have between 5 and 10 legit possibilities to see if you get along simply and naturally with a girl, among other things like culture/religion/family, etc. From what I'm told, and maybe this is vanishing, but other countries have numerous girls you see every day that are attractive and possible (if you have at least some things going for you like height, looks, resources, etc). Forgetting attitude, I barely see good looking women for weeks where I am, and frankly find quiet, young girls overall the most attractive.
 

Czee

Chicken
72% of Americans are overweight or obese. Most of the other 28% are skinny-fat.

Maybe 3-4% diet AND exercise (to the point where it works). Most of them are under 25, so immature and in fun mode.

Something less than 30% report as single. If you’re above 140 IQ, you’re in the 1%. If you will accept a much less intelligent partner you probably need to trade IQ for agreeableness—but Western society raises women (and men) to be uncooperative.

This leaves you with fun in your teens. Increasingly fat fun in your 20s. Past 25, immature/fat fun that is no longer worth the effort.

Most good women will be held onto for dear life by men. Even then, those guys tolerate being cheated on, delaying kids, uncooperative personalities, etc.

Dating is difficult if you’re less than a male 8 in SMV or make average salary. Probably best to look abroad.

Especially past 30. In America, age gaps of more than 3 years are tough to reconcile. Past age 40, you really have no viable options at all in America.

Though that changes if you’re a low value male, overweight, and low IQ yourself. Then your options for a corresponding match aren’t that bad.

I agree with some of your points- If you've read Aaron Clarey's "book of numbers"- indeed, the odds are very bad in the US. If your goal is to be happily married, it's about 4 in 1,000. And the other 996 stand to lose around $260k in the procurement, maintenance, and disposal of the marriage relationship. If you had put that into an Index fund as you accumulate the $260k- You stand to gain $7+ million at retirement. That's the cost of pursuing marriage in the USA.

The book is extremely rigorous in its empiricism, data, and solid economic modeling. I'd use it as a definitive authority on the matter.

I disagree with a couple of points though-

"Most good women will be held onto for dear life by men": Sure. Dating market is market for lemons. However, no matter how hard these "good women's" husbands hold onto them, they are going to cheat with the right guy.
There is no stopping in the West for this kind of behavior. In the end, a "good woman" really is just a woman who hadn't been caught. That's all. I've seen enough to tell you there's no such "good woman".

By the way, about 9 outta 10 women I met across all ages on dating sites are in an LTR of some sort. They are always spinning plates and monkey branching, even the not-so-attractive ones. The reality is, the simps far outnumber the low-value women, so they have no fear of repercussions acting in such a way.

"Especially past 30. In America, age gaps of more than 3 years are tough to reconcile. Past age 40, you really have no viable options at all in America.":

I strongly disagree with this. I married someone 11yr my junior. Every girl I dated before her is around the same range. And now, at the age of 41, I am going out with 24-30yr olds. I don't even look at a woman's profile unless she's under 30. And it isn't because I'm somehow better than anybody else, or that I'm trying to brag, at all. If you look around at folks like Rich Cooper or his friends- old dudes have a real edge when it comes to getting young girls, if the old dude has put in the work. I am in good shape, have nice style, live in a trendy place with a view, ride cool motorcycles, have a great network/preselection, and income. Get a few professional photographers and take some solid profile pics. Travel wide, speak another language, have fun hobbies... There is absolutely an advantage for men in their late 30s and 40s to pick up young girls. Men age very well, but again- you gotta put in the work.


The bottom line is, the state of a dating market depends entirely on your goal. If you wanna get married and have kids- Move out of the English-speaking Western world. Do not get married, especially in the US. The vast majority of Western men today do not stand a chance and a non-trivial number of men kill themselves as a result. However, if your goal is to spin plates, then it's fine, in fact, Western women's vapid, materialistic, and ADHD nature, plus social media and handheld devices have made it much easier to spin them.

On the whole, if your goal is to have genuine experiences with women of higher quality, without having have to compete with 1,000 other men (and instead, only 10 other men), on a higher statistical probability.... then you have to move out to SE Asia, or Eastern Europe. And even these places have their issues (you got to speak the language somewhat), and you definitely still have to put in the work.
 
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Ouroboros

Woodpecker
I agree with some of your points- If you've read Aaron Clarey's "book of numbers"- indeed, the odds are very bad in the US. If your goal is to be happily married, it's about 4 in 1,000. And the other 996 stand to lose around $260k in the procurement, maintenance, and disposal of the marriage relationship. If you had put that into an Index fund as you accumulate the $260k- You stand to gain $7+ million at retirement. That's the cost of pursuing marriage in the USA.

The book is extremely rigorous in its empiricism, data, and solid economic modeling. I'd use it as a definitive authority on the matter.

I disagree with a couple of points though-

"Most good women will be held onto for dear life by men": Sure. Dating market is market for lemons. However, no matter how hard these "good women's" husbands hold onto them, they are going to cheat with the right guy.
There is no stopping in the West for this kind of behavior. In the end, a "good woman" really is just a woman who hadn't been caught. That's all. I've seen enough to tell you there's no such "good woman".

By the way, about 9 outta 10 women I met across all ages on dating sites are in an LTR of some sort. They are always spinning plates and monkey branching, even the not-so-attractive ones. The reality is, the simps far outnumber the low-value women, so they have no fear of repercussions acting in such a way.

"Especially past 30. In America, age gaps of more than 3 years are tough to reconcile. Past age 40, you really have no viable options at all in America.":

I strongly disagree with this. I married someone 11yr my junior. Every girl I dated before her is around the same range. And now, at the age of 41, I am going out with 24-30yr olds. I don't even look at a woman's profile unless she's under 30. And it isn't because I'm somehow better than anybody else, or that I'm trying to brag, at all. If you look around at folks like Rich Cooper or his friends- old dudes have a real edge when it comes to getting young girls, if the old dude has put in the work. I am in good shape, have nice style, live in a trendy place with a view, ride cool motorcycles, have a great network/preselection, and income. Get a few professional photographers and take some solid profile pics. Travel wide, speak another language, have fun hobbies... There is absolutely an advantage for men in their late 30s and 40s to pick up young girls. Men age very well, but again- you gotta put in the work.


The bottom line is, the state of a dating market depends entirely on your goal. If you wanna get married and have kids- Move out of the English-speaking Western world. Do not get married, especially in the US. The vast majority of Western men today do not stand a chance and a non-trivial number of men kill themselves as a result. However, if your goal is to spin plates, then it's fine, in fact, Western women's vapid, materialistic, and ADHD nature, plus social media and handheld devices have made it much easier to spin them.

On the whole, if your goal is to have genuine experiences with women of higher quality, without having have to compete with 1,000 other men (and instead, only 10 other men), on a higher statistical probability.... then you have to move out to SE Asia, or Eastern Europe. And even these places have their issues (you got to speak the language somewhat), and you definitely still have to put in the work.
Do you think women overseas care much about hobbies? I see myself going overseas in the future but to do so would require sustained effort building an online business (and learning another language)...not sure how much time there's going to be for exploring interesting hobbies, especially something difficult like learning an instrument
 
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