She didnt respond immediately so youre going to def-con 2? Youre like a psycho girlfriend except male
I know I've said this before, but I was in a very similar situation to yours with my ex once, so I feel for you. It's actually a little painful to read your posts sometimes because they bring back things from those times that I haven't thought about for a long time. The part above about her resisting when you openly tell her you want her back, but her body language showing that she still wants you on some level otherwise, is something I experienced and I remember how maddening it was.Rob Banks said:I got about half way through the video.
It seems like what he's saying is more geared towards casual dating (especially in situations where the girl wants commitment but the guy doesn't) than marriage, but I guess the overall point is that you shouldn't have explicit conversations about the state of your relationship, and that makes sense.
The last few times I saw my wife (before our last big fight), we were already separated and not living together. Whenever I would explicitly say "I want you back" or express to her in words that I wanted a relationship with her, she would get VERY resistant and claim not to want any sort of relationship with me. However, when I would express it to her non-explicitly (for example holding her hand and telling her I was having a good time with her) she would go along with it and not resist, and would express through her body language that she still had deep feelings for me.
I guess my point was just that I have no problem waiting and allowing the relationship to "develop naturally" (like the guy talks about in the video), but people have pointed out to me that I am fooling myself if I think a married couple can be broken up for this long and then still get back together in the end.
Even the most loyal, traditional woman will get lonely and start to lose interest in her husband if she is 29 and has been split up from him for over a year (especially if her very traditional father supports and encourages her NOT to go back to her husband).
I find it interesting that your ex was also like that. I thought my wife was crazy for this, but I guess that's just how women are in these situations.bucky said:...
The part above about her resisting when you openly tell her you want her back, but her body language showing that she still wants you on some level otherwise, is something I experienced and I remember how maddening it was.
I know this sounds ridiculous, but I feel like it is my destiny for this to not work, and for everything I do to be just a bit too late.bucky said:...With God anything is possible....
I already did this.Kona said:Thirty days no contact.
Thanks for the response, and what you're saying makes sense.PapayaTapper said:Do it again. With two differences:
1. This time after the 30 days write a detailed report of everything you've been doing to improve yourself and your life. If you want to have something meaningful to report then thats your motivation
2. Demand nothing in return (not even a response). You are no longer in a position to expect anything so dont. She already gave you 10 years. Shes fed up with your demands
Do this every month. The above should keep you motivated with a short term interval goals whilst allowing you to keep the emotional connection open you seem determined to..even if its not reciprocated
Only time will tell but if she ever believes youve actually made progress she will let you know
OK, but what if the feelings of desire/love/deep connection are already there but she is logically convincing herself to ignore those feelings?tr1cky said:
"Logically convince herself to ignore those feelings"Rob Banks said:
Easier said than done, but I agree. Rob has bad oneitis for his wife and I think oneitis always kills attraction in a woman. Somewhere deep down your woman has to know that you have other options, even if she's your wife and you're a good Christian who wouldn't actually act on them. It's sad, but that's the way it is. This is Satan's kingdom we're living in after all, and that's why there are so many disturbing realities like this and why so many people would rather live with pretty lies than take the red pill and face reality.kazimierzdabrowski said:"Logically convince herself to ignore those feelings"Rob Banks said:
Listen to yourself. This sounds like a massive case of oneitis.
"I called her but she doesn't want to talk, what if I can logically convince her to hear my arguments and see me so I can convince her with facts and logic to be attracted to me again"
You want her to see you? Then get a tingle flowing again.