You have my condolences. I can’t begin to imagine what you’re going through right now. Very sorry for your loss. Hope he is in peace.
My younger brother just passed away
- Thread starter Optimus Princeps
- Start date
I'm so sorry for your loss brother. I hope you can continue on knowing that it was not your fault, and that you were definitely a bright spot in his life.
As someone who cared about him, your job was to provide whatever support and resources you could offer - however, only he could decide to take positive action, which may have never happened regardless. You did your job.
My sincere condolences.
As someone who cared about him, your job was to provide whatever support and resources you could offer - however, only he could decide to take positive action, which may have never happened regardless. You did your job.
My sincere condolences.
That's brutal, my condolences sorry for your loss.
My grandparents passed away many years ago, and I asked my Dad how often he thinks about them. He said, "Not a single day goes by where I don't think about my Mom and Dad. It's gotten easier to accept over time but with such a loss it's something that will always be with me." IMO It's up to you to seek counseling my friend or give it some time. I really, really recommend counseling. Whether individual 1 on 1 or group therapy.
We've established it wasn't your fault but you need to grieve and take it one step at a time. I am a Psychologist and therapy can really really help you through this difficult situation. I know it helped me through one of mine. I actually went to group therapy, due to depression and social anxiety, and I accredit that to my positive mindset today. When you are in a room with other people who have been through traumatic experiences and share deep pain, you realize it's a part of life (it sucks that it happened) and we all suffer. Part of this is why I took my 20's to go travel the world and make sure I experienced everything I wanted to so I can say I lived a life with no regrets.
You're going to make it through this. The Psychologist in me and in everyone wants to help you out but there's not much to say besides take it one day at a time or possibly take some time to get counseling. We just want to make sure you are aware that none of this is your fault. You'll get through this!
We've established it wasn't your fault but you need to grieve and take it one step at a time. I am a Psychologist and therapy can really really help you through this difficult situation. I know it helped me through one of mine. I actually went to group therapy, due to depression and social anxiety, and I accredit that to my positive mindset today. When you are in a room with other people who have been through traumatic experiences and share deep pain, you realize it's a part of life (it sucks that it happened) and we all suffer. Part of this is why I took my 20's to go travel the world and make sure I experienced everything I wanted to so I can say I lived a life with no regrets.
You're going to make it through this. The Psychologist in me and in everyone wants to help you out but there's not much to say besides take it one day at a time or possibly take some time to get counseling. We just want to make sure you are aware that none of this is your fault. You'll get through this!
Sorry for your loss. It brought a tear to my eye reading this story. A few months ago I witnessed my father die (I'd imagine losing my brother would be much worse than my father though). I have a super fucked up morbid visual in my head from that experience, and it's something I'll never forget. Eventually with time you'll come to accept what's happened. It's shitty, but life goes on.
Nater
Robin
I'm very sorry for your loss. I lost a loved one last year, it was a brutal shock for me. What helped a little was to stay with people who were close to this person, as we would support each other for a few days. It's a shock so avoid to stay alone. There are many people who loved your brother you can support each other. Also, I agree with people who say you should talk it through with someone. It will help you to accept what has happened. My sincere condolences man.
I think posting that here is unfair to everybody. I don't know what response you are looking for beyond a "sorry" or a hug telling you it will be ok. He chose his path, stop acting like a girl on Facebook looking for sympathy and reflected status by way of your bereavement. Disclaimer: I have lost someone close to suicide myself.
I am sorry brother. Lost one close relative (in different circumstances) many years ago and still think about it every single day of my life.
The bad images will probably go away but I suggest to go therapy man. May he rest in peace.
The bad images will probably go away but I suggest to go therapy man. May he rest in peace.
Steve McQueen said:
Cool thoughts bro..... how about you keep them to yourself next time.
I don't think op posted this to get rep points or likes.... hes dealing with a situation hes not sure how to go about dealing with or who to talk to about it I imagine... so he posted here which is perfectly fine.
OP I'm sorry for your loss... 99.9% of the RVF are here for you if you need to talk to someone or perhaps some direction from someone who has dealt with such a loss.
Yeah he just got said advice, you prove my point cr33pin. Your help/advice was "sorry", anything else?
Chiosboy90
Woodpecker
Deeply sorry for your loss. I grew up in a small town and 2 guys both in my age (late 20s), killed themselves which lived in the same street as I did. Kind of scary to think about it. We truly have a problem with male suicide around the world.
No man, fk you, you are part of the problem appeasing this kind of behaviour, it's not about decency, this dude needs to stop acting like a bitch looking for sympathy and accept what happened is part a of life. His brother made his choice, it's not on him to rationalize it, but to move on. OP it's not your fault btw, and l accept whatever ban comes to pass on good advice.
Steve McQueen said:
This type of thing can quite easily put someone into shock. People react differently and being in shock isn't a weakness he needs to get over.
It's quite different when you are, on a daily basis, trying to help someone who has had issues for years than say a close friend who you don't live with.
Sure, they both hurt, but it is normal to have some guilty thoughts that maybe, just maybe, you could have done something different to have helped your friend or brother.
I get what you're saying. There isn't anything anyone here will be able to say to make this go away. He still wanted to share and people still wanted to share their "sorry". Who are you to tell him he can't share his story and members can't respond with sympathy?
These are one of those times you should have just moved along instead of posting.
Edited to add: After reading your next post, it looks like you are getting overly emotional because of the OP's post. Maybe you need to deal with your emotions and move on. No one should get this way over a post.
Yes, it's not me its you. How original
Donfitz007
Kingfisher
Steve McQueen said:
Dude pretty much everybody said what you're saying.
1. it happened, 2. there wasn't much he could do about it but prolong the pain 3. That we can't do anything to help him feel better besides give condolences. 4. Say the only thing he can do is move on
You added nothing to this, even your edgy "Here's the real advice" is advice he already received. "stop acting like a girl on facebook" Hell i believe there's only ONE time a man cries for help/tears are justifiable and that's after losing a loved one.
Terrible news. Sorry for your loss.
One of my work mates lost his best friend and room mate in similar circumstances. They had been partying the night before which was not unusual and his room mate got very drunk which again was not unusual. My friend went to bed early because he had work the next day.
In the morning he got up, stepped over his friend on the floor assuming he was hungover / asleep and went to work as normal. On returning his friend was in the same position.
My buddy was accused by the family of allowing this to happen, saying he should have done more etc, but the reality was everyone had tried to help him.
There is a process of grieving and coming to terms with the situation but you must realise that it's not your fault. What you mustn't do is let this be an excuse to fall into a "woe is me" mindset, at least not for a prolonged period.
One of my work mates lost his best friend and room mate in similar circumstances. They had been partying the night before which was not unusual and his room mate got very drunk which again was not unusual. My friend went to bed early because he had work the next day.
In the morning he got up, stepped over his friend on the floor assuming he was hungover / asleep and went to work as normal. On returning his friend was in the same position.
My buddy was accused by the family of allowing this to happen, saying he should have done more etc, but the reality was everyone had tried to help him.
There is a process of grieving and coming to terms with the situation but you must realise that it's not your fault. What you mustn't do is let this be an excuse to fall into a "woe is me" mindset, at least not for a prolonged period.