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Message: <blockquote data-quote="JohnD777" data-source="post: 1565412" data-attributes="member: 24566">I am working on fixing my health but I am first in need of a fair amount of cash to do so, because the key part is consuming high quality foods and getting on a ketogenic diet. Fasting would only exacerbate my problems because I am already a skeleton.I've already forgiven my parents, as I mentioned in the original post.I am attempting to find a job for myself on a farm. I've been pretty much everywhere in the world an nothing really "excites" me. My only long term goal, aside from fixing the obvious problems that I mentioned in the OP is to build an off-grid cabin/ homestead in an extremely remote region and live like Ted Kaczynski.I have already decided that if I survive this situation that I'm in that I will become a "monk in the world", I honestly do not want to bring children into this messed up world and finding a non-degenerate wife is virtually impossible, despite what some naive Christians may think. Even Roosh cannot seem to locate one. I think that all sex is a form of drug addiction and so when I beat this addiction, I intend to remain celibate.Precisely why I have decided to escape this society and build a self sufficient off-grid cabin in the woods in the middle of nowhere.Unfortunately, I feel that I have lowered testosterone, perhaps from all of the endocrine disrupting chemicals, especially the cheap food and tap water. This is hindering my muscle building ability and after making no gains for months on end, I just quit any program. My priority in terms of health at the moment is to be able to afford high quality organic food and somehow find a clean alternative to tap water, get rid of all the plastic/ BPA in my home. I think that working out while my health is abysmal will get me nowhere, I need to get that sorted out first.Yes, I intend to be a "monk in the world".I am probably more blackpilled than most on the state of the world because I have dug extremely deep into the transhumanist agenda and the bioengineered DARPA superbugs that we are being sprayed and injected with. I'm a realist, and the state of the world will only get worse from here on out. I am not seeing a "revival". If there would be a revival it would have happened between the end of World War II and the start of the cultural revolution in the West because those generations actually had the testicular fortitude to rise up against the Beast system. Limp wristed soy boys and sluts are not going to overtake the current paradigm.No.This doesn't help long term because walking around the forest during work days doesn't seem right. I'm hoping to get a job as a farm worker, which will give me the ability to get out of the house.I have done everything - blocked it completely, tried to brainwash myself with anti-porn material, etc. etc. For the last year or so, my average time on monk mode nofap has been 70 days, after which I always relapse. There just comes a time when a hormone rush hits me and doesn't stop and I have no way to stop it, until I eventually give in. Its almost like demonic possession. I don't want to do it but when the "rush" hits me its almost impossible to get rid of it besides relapsing.As much as I would like to claim responsibility for my situation, the majority of the bad stuff in my life developed when I was underage, so I cannot really claim responsibility for it, nor would I lay it entirely on my parents. It was more on the lines of unfortunate life circumstances. But I agree with your overall message that I'm a pussy and need to man up. My father didn't really raise or influence me significantly, and to be honest, he himself is kind of a weakling as well. My problem with manning up is that I don't have an example in front of me of how to do this. I would appreciate if you could give me a good book on the subject.</blockquote>

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