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Need life advice - very bad situation
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<blockquote data-quote="JohnD777" data-source="post: 1565423" data-attributes="member: 24566"><p>I have located the source of my addiction to lust and it is of a peculiar nature. For me it is not enough to stop viewing women sexually, blocking porn, etc. It is a Pavlovian hormonal "rush" that begins whenever I start to feel chronically stressed out and it constantly pushes me to relapse. I think I developed this from my brain being conditioned to pornography at an early age. My longest abstinence streaks occur when I manage to overcome this rush by being around other people whenever the rush occurs. It can take days to subside when it happens and so I eventually relapse to just get it over with, so that it disappears.</p><p></p><p></p><p>Thank you.</p><p></p><p></p><p>Yes, I agree that I need to take responsibility for everything, man up and stop being a pussy but objectively speaking, the majority of my problems occured when I was underage. I don't blame my parents for them entirely but it was just mostly a set of unfortunate life circumstances.</p><p></p><p></p><p>I agree with the religious path. I have been unable to find a good Bible translation in either English or Russian, so I have decided to obtain the original Septuagint with apocrypha and New Testament in Koine Greek, which I am currently attempting to learn. Unfortunately, coming from a completely secular upbringing, it is very difficult to transition to a Godly life.</p><p></p><p></p><p>This is my end goal - to be entirely self sufficient and a monk in the middle of nowhere in the woods. Firstly though, I need to get right with God and fix all of the other issues plaguing my life that I mentioned in the OP.</p><p></p><p></p><p>You are correct, I would not be able to handle off-grid living at the moment but that is my end goal, if I ever manage to fix the other problems in my life.</p><p></p><p></p><p>Thanks for the kind words. Just out of curiosity - do you know anything about the Lipovan Russians in Romania and what their current state of affairs looks like? They are Orthodox Old Believers that fled to Romania a while back and established some villages there.</p><p></p><p></p><p>Unfortunately, even the beef in Walmart here is grain fed mystery meat and the vegetables are GMO and covered in glyphosate. One of my main goals is to afford quality grass fed and grass finished meat.</p><p></p><p>Based on my research, the main causes of my health conditions are the following: autoimmune reactions to bad food (thinking of going on a carnivore diet), heavy metal build up from vaccines and tap water, hormonal imbalances (high estrogren, high prolactine, low t) from porn and endocrine disruptors, parasites and pathogenic microorganisms that I need to get rid of (I suspect that I might have Lyme disease or Candida build up). I already supplement the essential minerals and vitamins that I need, but I have leaky gut and all of that might not be getting absorbed by my body.</p><p></p><p></p><p>Life in a monastery is not for me, that I have definitely decided. On that other hand, family life is also not for me. I think that the best solution is to be a "monk in the world".</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="JohnD777, post: 1565423, member: 24566"] I have located the source of my addiction to lust and it is of a peculiar nature. For me it is not enough to stop viewing women sexually, blocking porn, etc. It is a Pavlovian hormonal "rush" that begins whenever I start to feel chronically stressed out and it constantly pushes me to relapse. I think I developed this from my brain being conditioned to pornography at an early age. My longest abstinence streaks occur when I manage to overcome this rush by being around other people whenever the rush occurs. It can take days to subside when it happens and so I eventually relapse to just get it over with, so that it disappears. Thank you. Yes, I agree that I need to take responsibility for everything, man up and stop being a pussy but objectively speaking, the majority of my problems occured when I was underage. I don't blame my parents for them entirely but it was just mostly a set of unfortunate life circumstances. I agree with the religious path. I have been unable to find a good Bible translation in either English or Russian, so I have decided to obtain the original Septuagint with apocrypha and New Testament in Koine Greek, which I am currently attempting to learn. Unfortunately, coming from a completely secular upbringing, it is very difficult to transition to a Godly life. This is my end goal - to be entirely self sufficient and a monk in the middle of nowhere in the woods. Firstly though, I need to get right with God and fix all of the other issues plaguing my life that I mentioned in the OP. You are correct, I would not be able to handle off-grid living at the moment but that is my end goal, if I ever manage to fix the other problems in my life. Thanks for the kind words. Just out of curiosity - do you know anything about the Lipovan Russians in Romania and what their current state of affairs looks like? They are Orthodox Old Believers that fled to Romania a while back and established some villages there. Unfortunately, even the beef in Walmart here is grain fed mystery meat and the vegetables are GMO and covered in glyphosate. One of my main goals is to afford quality grass fed and grass finished meat. Based on my research, the main causes of my health conditions are the following: autoimmune reactions to bad food (thinking of going on a carnivore diet), heavy metal build up from vaccines and tap water, hormonal imbalances (high estrogren, high prolactine, low t) from porn and endocrine disruptors, parasites and pathogenic microorganisms that I need to get rid of (I suspect that I might have Lyme disease or Candida build up). I already supplement the essential minerals and vitamins that I need, but I have leaky gut and all of that might not be getting absorbed by my body. Life in a monastery is not for me, that I have definitely decided. On that other hand, family life is also not for me. I think that the best solution is to be a "monk in the world". [/QUOTE]
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