Never contact people from your past

Amwolf

Robin
Friends are people who care about you because they like who you are regardless of your political and religious beliefs.
Yes, indeed. This woman in addition to her husband have done a lot for me over the years. They've provided support during times of need.
 
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Amwolf

Robin
If you have friends who are leftists who silence your speech through obvious and less obvious means then you need to part ways.

Recently a friendship came to an end between someone I have known for 19 years or so. Another friend also let him go. He tries to hold himself as a sophisticated, competent and worldly center-left guy. He sees himself at in the upper 10-20% of society but with a social conscious. In reality he's rapidly heading to the bottom 10% and the social conscious is just free stuff and an easy ride for the real him. Literally everything in his life is maneuvered by his tentacles into a position which allows him to not see himself. And I became his principal pawn onto which has has projected all of his insecurity. If I ever dared move he would blow hid lid. But over the last year I kept moving and he kept exploding. He would unleash sexist, racist, homophone, white fragility, fragile masculinity and so on. All while hotting up like Venus, while I remained calm, often joking at his eruptions. i.e. he was mr fragility, along with all his leftist constituencies. Much of this behaviour is because he couldn't stop me accelerating gracefully away from him Peter Pan world. While he might start and adult life at 40, I have much of what his fake leftism coverts.

If you have anyone who is suppressing your progress, get rid of them. In discussion we realised this guy has never offered anything. He has no wisdom, interesting ideas. He can only believe what he is told by authorities. I have known him for a long time, but I would have been better off not knowing him.

Leftists need people around them, like safe space cushions, to collapse on and console each other in their mental, physical and spiritual decline. They always need to see one of their gaggle as below them, while using the herd to bludgeon us. Your success is a very threat to their parasitic mode of being and systems of distribution. Real men don't stoop to this level. A real man benefits from your independence and competing in the same stakes as him. You hold each other up. A real man will value the truth, even if it hurts at first. He can take a few punches, feigned jibes; while these leftists just build walls of protection. Any man who cannot content with honour like this takes on the same modes of a dishonourable woman - emotional manipulation.

But if your friends are just normies, the best thing you can do for them is drop seeds that may sprout in their minds later. If they don't hear these things the chances they end up going of some leftist cliff increase. And you need to set an example and how your world is better to be part of that the world of various social crusts.

Recently one based friend had a child. None of his wife's main friends had any intention of having any. But now as their 30s unfold they are looking at the nice mummies strolling with their babies at the lake; then they look to their left and see cackling, boozed-up reprobates, crumbling Marxists and destroyed party girls. Suddenly those seeds of my friends' sewing are taking sprout. And hopefully they will realise they need to get with child before it's too late.

If you have the choice it's better to keep them as a distance, and remain with those with families and those who want them. But you are doing everyone as a service by modestly sewing seeds with them and showing them a bit of light; without coming down from your ivory tower.
Your experiences are like mine. The former friend in question is a far-leftist who bluntly criticizes those with opposing views and often in a condescending manner. This person is like your friend as they also uphold the “sophisticated” and “worldly” persona as a form of constant virtue signaling. Further, this person has many of insecurities such as your friend and I believe that they’re a significant contributor to their actions.

I believe that you’re correct by stating that leftist seek safety nets, punching bags, and cushions for comfort. They seek out soft targets who are easy to manipulate or ones who are passive to their tactics. These types of people contribute nothing positive to a strong and independent man’s life, especially a man who’s spiritually strong. Therefore, I gracefully ceased communication with this person several of years ago. Their negative attitude and blaming everyone else for their failures become a burden to my progress in life. While this friend had some normie attributes, I couldn’t get past the fact that they were having an ongoing affair and refused to leave their significant other because they were financially dependent on them.

Despite this friend providing comfort and support during times of need, I feel that there’s little reason to reconnect as we’re significantly different people and times have changed considerably over the last couple of years.
 
In these times it's good to re-connect with men you were once close to and extend a helping hand if you still care about their well being and feel like taking the lead. Just be clear and upfront about your intentions so there is no confusion.

At the beginning of this year I helped someone with money so he could move to get a new job and I'm happy I reached out in time to re-connect.

In times like these it's important to have a good male network. Just be careful who you invest time and money into and make sure they'll have your back as well if needed. (housing, small money, be willing to live together in another country if sh*t hits the fan etc.)
 

Panzerhund

Sparrow
Reconnecting to people from your past, especially of the opposite sex, is a recipe for disaster if you are married or in a relationship.

Your mind and heart will always have a difficult time separating the past from present once the connections are reestablished. Its impossible for human beings to not get emotionally lured back in by the attention and excitement of reconnecting.

Those people are in the past for a reason, keep them there.
 

Amwolf

Robin
Reconnecting to people from your past, especially of the opposite sex, is a recipe for disaster if you are married or in a relationship.

Your mind and heart will always have a difficult time separating the past from present once the connections are reestablished. Its impossible for human beings to not get emotionally lured back in by the attention and excitement of reconnecting.

Those people are in the past for a reason, keep them there.
Very well said, thanks. These are my thoughts as well. I believe that once you blur those lines between the past and the future, you end up in a perpetual state of limbo as there's no clear path forward. I've learned this lesson years ago by reconnecting with a former romantic partner that resulted in us rekindling our relationship. It was an unwise move that turned into a nightmare.
 

eradicator

Peacock
Gold Member
I generally live by the mantra of never contact people from your past or acknowledge those who attempt to reconnect. There are many of positives from adhering to such a disciplined mindset (IE. As seen with the “30 Seconds Rule” in the movie HEAT). Nonetheless, sometimes people who we were once close with and never had a falling out, but rather drifted apart, attempt to reconnect. Several years ago I cut ties with many of people and more-less started a new life. It made sense, especially as my interests changed and I became more spiritually conscious as an Orthodox Christian. Recently, a couple of old friends have tried to reconnect as they were able to find my new contact information. These people are interesting and never did me harm, but we no longer have much in common and I feel that reconnecting with those in the past will deter my progress towards an ascetic lifestyle as they could become a liability. However, sometimes I miss them and battle a sense of perpetual loneliness as I’ve chosen to be a lone wolf.

Can anyone else here relate to this and am I doing myself a disservice?
I have no idea what you’re talking about. I’ve sometimes will reconnect with old friends from high school or college, I call them up, we chat, they have lives and do so I but it’s great to reconnect with them even if I only call them once or twice a year. I value them as friends, but it sounds like you are talking about something else perhaps. Or perhaps this is exactly what you mean.

You don’t have to hang out with them all the time like we were in college but it’s good to talk to your old friends, I think. But to each his own
 

semilla

Pigeon
That being said, I am now reconnecting with many of my old pals. This is entirely from high school. There is an outside motivation driving this and that's the unfolding civil war in this country. Now more than ever, I realized a need a good friend, and in fact, good friends.".
My first though after reading this thread was that I don’t think one should rebuild relationships with those from the distant past. However, if there is an exception, I feel it is with those who you grew up with and knew through the development of your youth. I’m only in my 20s, but even living far from my home I’m now just as close with the group of friends I grew up with in my teens as the day we all left for college. Given, I was not close to them while I was away at school.

Something about the brotherhood of coming from such similar traditions and families makes our friendship much like a family. It is something I’m grateful to have rediscovered after my more unsatisfying years with acquaintances that didn’t last more than a few months.
 
Friendships are worthless if the other people won't be there when you need them. There are going to be times where you need someone's help, maybe your car needs a jump, maybe you need a medication that you don't have on hand, maybe you need a ride home from the doctor after a surgery.
It didn't sound like OP was talking about friends though?

If you drift apart for years without talking, that's not friends, right? Friends make it a point to stay in touch. You might be the one making the effort or you might be feeling like you've got better things to spend your time with (often a woman), but in the end, if it endures, it's a friendship worth keeping.

I think this idea of moving on from friends is dangerous. I hear women often talk about this and "moving on", like you would a romantic relationship. Why?

Loyalty, trust, is more important with close friends, than being perfectly aligned ideologically. I've had struggles. I grew up with recreational drug use and low level crime common, which most of us outgrew, but some didn't. It's not actually the victimless, petty crime, but it's the mindset. I do not like the antisocial mindset. It's destructive and holds you back. People who complain about police. Why? Be thankful that lawmaking has been outsourced for you and focus that energy on work and being better. I find it difficult to stay friends with people who have outright antisocial mindsets. However, Christ walked with the lowest, and said "let he who is without sin, throw the first stone", so maybe my positive contribution to the world can also be to try to help those old friends stay out of that destructive lifestyle. Jordan Peterson wouldn't agree though.

It's natural to move on from friends and social circles when you're young, but as an adult? I don't think you should.

My father had a falling out with a friend from youth, friends for 20 years, and then he just cut him off because of disagreeing on politics. That always seemed extreme and radical to me. Why in the world would you swap a longterm trusted friendship for abstract political ideals. Extremist behaviour.
 

eradicator

Peacock
Gold Member
It didn't sound like OP was talking about friends though?

If you drift apart for years without talking, that's not friends, right? Friends make it a point to stay in touch. You might be the one making the effort or you might be feeling like you've got better things to spend your time with (often a woman), but in the end, if it endures, it's a friendship worth keeping.
I have drifted apart with a number of friends who started families in their 20s and 30s and just don’t have as much free time when they have small children, though in some cases the kids have fully grown now so I talk to them more often .

If we are talking about girls you used to bang I agree, you broke up for a reason, don’t go calling them if you are on a dry spell or whatnot just move on
 

Amwolf

Robin
It didn't sound like OP was talking about friends though?

If you drift apart for years without talking, that's not friends, right? Friends make it a point to stay in touch. You might be the one making the effort or you might be feeling like you've got better things to spend your time with (often a woman), but in the end, if it endures, it's a friendship worth keeping.

I think this idea of moving on from friends is dangerous. I hear women often talk about this and "moving on", like you would a romantic relationship. Why?

Loyalty, trust, is more important with close friends, than being perfectly aligned ideologically. I've had struggles. I grew up with recreational drug use and low level crime common, which most of us outgrew, but some didn't. It's not actually the victimless, petty crime, but it's the mindset. I do not like the antisocial mindset. It's destructive and holds you back. People who complain about police. Why? Be thankful that lawmaking has been outsourced for you and focus that energy on work and being better. I find it difficult to stay friends with people who have outright antisocial mindsets. However, Christ walked with the lowest, and said "let he who is without sin, throw the first stone", so maybe my positive contribution to the world can also be to try to help those old friends stay out of that destructive lifestyle. Jordan Peterson wouldn't agree though.

It's natural to move on from friends and social circles when you're young, but as an adult? I don't think you should.

My father had a falling out with a friend from youth, friends for 20 years, and then he just cut him off because of disagreeing on politics. That always seemed extreme and radical to me. Why in the world would you swap a longterm trusted friendship for abstract political ideals. Extremist behaviour.
No, I was referring to former friends. You make some noteworthy arguments as to why one shouldn't be so quick to walk away from friendships as an adult. As I've mentioned in the OP, the people in question are former friends who have never harmed me but are still too interconnected to past situations, people, and lifestyles that are no longer relevant in my life. There are some associations and experiences that I'd rather move on from rather than relish. Further, I don't see how it would be beneficial to reconnect with someone who holds conflicting views.
 
First and foremost, the person in question is a married woman. Yes, we can have close relationships with people who are polar opposites of ourselves. I've dated someone who fell into this camp and we got along great for the most part. One attribute that we both respected each other for were our solid convictions and upholding them unlike most people who often change their views to appease.
I wouldn't hang around married women, either. But then, if your use of the word friend includes women, we mean something different by it.
 

Amwolf

Robin
I wouldn't hang around married women, either. But then, if your use of the word friend includes women, we mean something different by it.
This woman and I have never been romantic, but she was having an ongoing affair with another man. She confined in me about the complexities of her affair, and I firmly told her to divorce her husband if she's not happy and that the other man should divorce his wife. Nonetheless, she refused to do so because she's financially dependent on her husband and the other man is a happily married "Christian". A lot has changed since we've last spoken and as my spiritual path has progressed, I have less respect for her. Also, I don't see a point in being friends with women unless there's a romantic interest that could further develop into something more substantial.
 
No, I was referring to former friends. You make some noteworthy arguments as to why one shouldn't be so quick to walk away from friendships as an adult. As I've mentioned in the OP, the people in question are former friends who have never harmed me but are still too interconnected to past situations, people, and lifestyles that are no longer relevant in my life. There are some associations and experiences that I'd rather move on from rather than relish. Further, I don't see how it would be beneficial to reconnect with someone who holds conflicting views.
I get that.

I meet once or twice a year with the old gang and we all fall into our roles and habits from our teens. I doubt any of us would like for that to be who we are today.

Is that what you mean? If so, then yes, you have to let that go, because other people might want you to be someone you were, but no longer is. That's selfish of them. On the other hand, you don't know for sure, that those people haven't changed themselves. I would advise against group dynamics more than anything else.
 

Amwolf

Robin
If she is unwilling to introduce her hot single friends to you, then she is not much of a friend in the first place.
She introduced me to many of people, single women in addition to professional connections. However, none of them were worth keeping around.
 
I have drifted apart with a number of friends who started families in their 20s and 30s and just don’t have as much free time when they have small children, though in some cases the kids have fully grown now so I talk to them more often .

If we are talking about girls you used to bang I agree, you broke up for a reason, don’t go calling them if you are on a dry spell or whatnot just move on
Yes, this is something that really happens a lot and I agree, you might reconnect after divorce or the kids are grown up I guess, but in my experience, with years of absence, you're not the same and they're not the same and it won't be the same friendship.

I had a highschool fling hit me up recently and I was quite tempted to meet up with her, but decided against it, because she has a kid now and I'm not going to go for that, and also she was more into me than the opposite back then, so yeah, I don't think that would be the best idea. On the other hand, there are girls from way back who I would definitely want to give a go at, those who I always wondered what if. I'm sure it wouldn't be as expected though.
 

bomp

Pigeon
I got in with the worst kind of crowd as soon as I turned a teenager and ended up stuck in that milieu for a decade. Thankfully, I turned to asceticism and eventually Christianity, but by then my life was already completely derailed and I'm never going to be able to completely recover from the bad decisions I made during that crucial period of life. Everything I've been doing and will do for years to come will more-or-less be damage control.

That said, do not hesitate to cut people loose. There are millions of people to choose from. You do not have to settle for bad ones or the ones you already know. Association with the wrong people can easily inflict psycho-spiritual harm without you even realizing it. Each time you initiate contact with a new person is like starting a fire: it can help you cook your potatoes or it can burn your house down. This is why you need Christian discernment to put out the house fires while they're still just sparks.

It is better to walk alone than in bad company.
 
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