Newsflash: Men Prefer Feminine Women, Not "Funny' Women

[Days of Broken Arrows]

Maybe next they'll fund a ground breaking study to determine whether or not water is wet.

Nothing shrinks my dick more than a chick who thinks and acts like "one of the guys" or tries to be some slick talking witty banterer.

I hate to have to do this (and I'm sure God will punish me for it), but there is possibly -- possibly -- something that will cause you far more shrinkage than that. It's called the "Full Beauty Photo Project" and it's comprised of "artful" naked photos of morbidly obese women.

This has probably been mentioned on the forum, but I'm bringing it up again just to show how screwed up we are as a society.

Anyway, if there was ever a time to a trigger warning, this is it. Please think carefully about whether you want to look at this link, because it's difficult to shake the images from your brain once you've seen them.

On the plus side, if you need inspiration not to overindulge this Thanksgiving, these pics will do it.

 

[General Stalin]

^I won't click the link because I already know what that is, but thats full-on dick implosion. Hideous women make my manhood go Caitlyn Jenner. I don't even put ugly women on any kind of a totem of attractiveness.

I'll tell ya though it really grinds my nuts when I see a beautiful girl with a grating personality - or a girl who is sweet as pie and would be absolutely gorgeous to boot if she lost like 30 lbs.

 

[nek]

This is why offering misbehaviour is such a successful game tactic. Women long to be led astray.

This is something I learned by jokingly telling an engaged girl that I wanted to impregnate her and trick the guy into raising it. I'm not the smoothest dude by any means, but the way she lit up when I said that cued me into this lesson that I've never forgotten since about the female desire for bad behavior. It manifests itself in many ways, such as the glee they can have when they're gossiping (i.e. shit talking).

And on the whole "being nice" thing, they're not nice to you unless they think you deserve it. For them it's tied to respect. And respect is how they perceive your status relative to others. Not to get too evo-psych on people, but there are several primate species where the females actively encourage the bigger, stronger males to fight the lesser males, even when unprovoked (we refer to this in the human world as "bullying").

 

[El Chinito loco]

Also, many women think sarcasm is humor.

It's not.

Sarcasm is a crutch used by the humorless.

Pay attention to the next wannabe comedienne you meet in real life, her "sarcasm" is actually just thinly disguised cynicism and narcissism.

They try to get people to think these traits are adorable and hilarious but really it's because they have ugly personalities and are emotionally fucked up.

Plus most of the "goofy funny and quirky" girls i've met in real life were in fact hardcore CC riders.

 

[Yatagan]

You know, if a girl is actually funny, that's a benefit.

I have known a total of one legitimately hilarious woman in my life.

The rest were situationally funny at best and most weren't very funny at all.

The only time I ever find women consistently funny is on skit comedy shows like Mad Tv or Living Color(where they tend to operate with men). Besides that, female standup or regular chicks trying to be humorous extremely rarely ever make me laugh,and the few times the latter has made me laugh were with situational/spur of the moment quips like you've said.

 

[Dusty]

 

[Hootie]

Alright, as a cis gendered white male who has dabbled on stage, Improv I just had a bit of a revelation here. Combining my two years of RP and one year putzing around around stage, it just became apparent why women aren't funny.

Humor at its core requires a raw degree of honesty. The level of honesty required to make an insightful, relevant joke always risks upsetting someone, awkwardness, or being ostracized. You are more concerned with getting to that heart of the matter IE: the shit and not concerned with how its received. We are talking real laughs here, not goofy playfulness.

Reality is, women are anything but honest or overt. Their evo programming forces them to avoid confrontation (honesty) and upsetting the herd so they have a tendency to agree with the group. Well, agreeing with the group never made anyone laugh. Additionally, to maintain a level of femininity and the ability to undercut competition covertness has always been a womens best friend.

So yeah, a chick is never going to be out and out hold the room down and have us in stitches funny. They can make us laugh with their ditzy and irrational ideas/actions but thats probably the limit excluding 5 of the 3.5 billion of them on earth.

 

[Dallas Winston]

The 'ol wow just wow line from this bland article (the author tries to be funny. She's not).

Anyway, she wrote:

Still, it’s depressing that for many women who aren’t professional comedians, the most valuable social currency is beauty—or worse, “being sweet.”

Unbelievable. Do they really think being friendly and nice is that awful?

Yes.

They're women.

The most common female complaint of their existence is one of having to be what society 'expects' you to be.

Strip away the evasive language, and this is what they're really saying:

"It's so hard to be good!"

This belief that it's difficult to not misbehave is a core component of the female mindset, and, I suspect is why religions limit female behaviour so harshly.

Of course, women are the strictest moral shamers and self-righteous moralists imaginable: this is simply projection.

This is why offering misbehaviour is such a successful game tactic. Women long to be led astray.

^ This reminds me of Roosh's recent article about how women need their behavior and decisions controlled by men. They really do. Or at the least, modified by men.

I was on a date this week with a 24 year old girl who's been single a while. She was telling me all this unreasonable stupid shit she wants to do like travel here and there and save up $ 100,000 to open a hostel in some foreign country, which, okay may not be a bad goal, but she was all over the place. Also, there's no way she's going to save that money with her current lifestyle.

She also told me a few times: "If you ever hang out with me and (a certain friend of hers) you'll have the best time you've ever had. You won't be able to stop laughing."

I'm thinking : 'I'm sure I may not even start laughing, What's going to be so funny? Me in a bar with you two girls watching you two get drunk, be loud and obnoxious, and go shake your asses on the dance floor and whoop it up like a bunch of party sluts? Yeah, please. Sign me up, that sounds like SOOO much fun.'

She also told me sometimes she just feels like a "feral animal" I'm thinking: yeah that's because you need a strong dominant man in your life banging you on the regular and telling you what to do and when you're making stupid decisions and correcting you. Left to your own devices, you are like a feral animal'

Couldn't bounce her to my place by the way, maybe next time.

Juxtapose that with a date I had a few weeks ago with a sweet girl from the deep south who still lives there. She's from a smaller community in my state. She was demure, a bit shy and measured in her speech with good manners. i.e., she was feminine and wasn't trying to be sarcastic nor funny nor did she brag about how 'crazy and fun' her and her friends are. I was more attracted to her and her energy than the first girl I described.

Just one man's last few dating experiences - a small sampling size I know, but for me, this article and premise rings true.

 

[AnonymousBosch]

Juxtapose that with a date I had a few weeks ago with a sweet girl from the deep south who still lives there. She's from a smaller community in my state. She was demure, a bit shy and measured in her speech with good manners. i.e., she was feminine and wasn't trying to be sarcastic nor funny nor did she brag about how 'crazy and fun' her and her friends are. I was more attracted to her and her energy than the first girl I described.

If women really understood the social power that sweetness holds over men, Feminism would die out overnight.

 

[Eskhander]

I would say women can be funny, just not on purpose.

 

[StrikeBack]

I'd laugh if a hot girl acts playful and cute like a child. I'd enjoy it if a girl digs my sense of humour and plays along well. Neither is women being funny though.

To be funny, you need to have raw honesty (as pointed out above) and come from a very unprivileged background. A rich model-handsome guy is never funny. He can't mock or ridicule anything without sounding arrogant.

Other than not being naturally capable of raw honesty and overt communication, women are always more privileged than men. They simply cannot be funny. Everything they say, every observation they have will sound like First World Problems because their perspective is skewed. They live in a fantasy bubble world, protected from the nastiness and rawness of reality in which men cope with by using humour to make light of their sufferings.

Perhaps ugly fat women have a better chance of being funny to men, BUT, who would want to be with them???

 

[Hedonistic Traveler]

Also, many women think sarcasm is humor.

It's not.

Sarcasm is a crutch used by the humorless.

My mom used to always say that "sarcasm was the argument of the unintelligent". I've heard "weak" subbed in for "unintelligent", and both work well.

I've met people who are able to use sarcasm in a way that is genuinely hilarious, but most people suck at it. .

 

[CynicalContrarian]

If women really understood the social power that sweetness holds over men, Feminism would die out overnight.

That should be a quote for the ages.

 

[Saweeep]

I miss this guy so much.

I know that's a weird thing to say.

Amazing mind.

 

[Wutang]

As in hockey, it appears, so in lols: You miss 100 percent of the shots you don’t take. The 2011 Intelligence study similarly found that men wrote more captions overall, both funny and lame. In other words, men make more attempts at humor, so they are successful more of the time.

“Men are willing to take more risks [in humor], and they also fail more miserably,” Gil Greengross, an evolutionary psychologist from the University of New Mexico and author of the 2011 study. But for the man, “it's worth it. If you fail and you're not funny, you lost maybe a few minutes. But if the person laughs, the benefit can be huge.”

This is just another example of the difference in the natures of men and women. There's a trope in the manosphere about how women tends towards the mean while with men tend to be in the extremes whether for good or for bad. The reason there's less female Albert Einsteins is also the reason there's less female Jack the Rippers.

Men throughout human history have been the risk takers and tend to both win and loser bigger then women do. The usual go to examples are war or setting out to tame a piece of wilderness but it also applies to smaller things such as making a cold approach in a club or making jokes that could possibly fall flat and make you look like a moron.

I'm already sure a lot of women will read the above and see it as an attack on womanhood. It is not. Any successful civilization needs people (men) to push the envelope but it also needs people (women) to maintain the center and keep things stable. The roles are different but complementary. It's only in recent human civilized history (I add the word "civilized" because I already know someone will bring up an obscure tribe in some far away island or jungle where the rules are topsy turvy) where we decide we don't need the roles.

 

[CRR]

Great thread, I was talking about this with a few friends recently.

this is about as 'funny' as I like my women. Doing "Cutesy" things...not telling dick and fart jokes.

Exactly.

There's a woman in my social circle (she's 31, cute and pleasant so of course she was locked down and married when she was 24). She'll send us cat meme's/videos that are mildly amusing and fitting for her personality.

On the other hand, there is another woman who tries to 'one up' the guys and is always interrupting us when we are joking around. This is going to surprise everyone, but she's 35 and single. She gets pumped and dumped often, and wonders where all the good men are.

Of course this is all just another example of men deciding, consciously or not, for themselves what they find attractive in a woman.