NoPorn / NoFap Google Group - For Those Who're Serious

BlastbeatCasanova

Kingfisher
I'm still not convinced that fapping is inherently bad...Obviously porn and compulsive daily masturbation are entirely different beasts, but sometimes you have to purge the semen demon. Cranking it once or twice (maximum) a week before you go to sleep doesn't seem like anything to flagellate yourself over.
 
TheFinalEpic said:
I broke today.

I am living with my gf, but she is out of the house as she is an essential worker and I have been working from home the last couple months. I am not going to beat myself up about it, but one thing I am reading about neuro pathways and habit/patterns of behaviour is that I have to associate great pain with failing and relapsing. So I will associate failing with hurting her emotionally, and really work on avoiding any and all lewd photos online (difficult I know.)

Seem to make it about 2 weeks before cracking, but I know I deserve better, and this is abusive to myself.

Tomorrow is day one again, for the last time.

One thing I have realized when trying to break the habit is that it will always be around me in whatever I do. We are gonna get older but there will always be a young attractive woman where ever you go for the most part. I believe the best way to tackle this is accepting that this is life and the willpower gained from understanding that will help you out.

Another thing that may help you out is talking to your significant other about it. The more I talk about my issues the more empowered I feel and feel our bond growing together.

Keep getting back on that horse, it will be worth it in the end.
 

redbeard

Hummingbird
Moderator
BlastbeatCasanova said:
I'm still not convinced that fapping is inherently bad...Obviously porn and compulsive daily masturbation are entirely different beasts, but sometimes you have to purge the semen demon. Cranking it once or twice (maximum) a week before you go to sleep doesn't seem like anything to flagellate yourself over.
In a secular sense, sure, there might not be much downside to masturbating except that your wife or girlfriend gets jealous.

For Christians it's clear that masturbating is a sin against God. Roosh mentioned this (I believe in one of the EMJ interviews) that when he would masturbate, he wouldn't feel the urge to pray. It's a fact that sin draws you away from God, and masturbation definitely falls under this category. Chastity is a virtue!
 

BlastbeatCasanova

Kingfisher
redbeard said:
BlastbeatCasanova said:
I'm still not convinced that fapping is inherently bad...Obviously porn and compulsive daily masturbation are entirely different beasts, but sometimes you have to purge the semen demon. Cranking it once or twice (maximum) a week before you go to sleep doesn't seem like anything to flagellate yourself over.
In a secular sense, sure, there might not be much downside to masturbating except that your wife or girlfriend gets jealous.

For Christians it's clear that masturbating is a sin against God. Roosh mentioned this (I believe in one of the EMJ interviews) that when he would masturbate, he wouldn't feel the urge to pray. It's a fact that sin draws you away from God, and masturbation definitely falls under this category. Chastity is a virtue!
I get what you're saying, and I appreciate your perspective. I'm not trying to be disrespectful at all, just throwing mine out there. There's a meme of Jesus looking at the universe with the planets and galaxies and all that and in small text next to his face it says "don't masturbate." I'm sure you get the joke, but when God created man and gave us two hands and a powerful sex drive, he had to known what was going to go down. Seems kind of ridiculous to create a being driven by sexual urges and then make releasing them yourself a sin.

I'll fully concede my ignorance and that I don't know everything but stuff like this makes it hard for me to fully dive into religion. If anything doing NoFap just allows lustful thoughts to run rampant through my mind and would make it harder to pray/focus on God.
 

redbeard

Hummingbird
Moderator
Hey no disrespect there, I see where you're coming from.

Sex drive was created so that man has drive to get married and reproduce. Venerable Fulton Sheen mentions this many times in "Three To Get Married" (excellent book). The sex drive is what motivates us to pair up. Once you're in a relationship, the fruits of it (bonding, offspring, etc.) are what keep you going, but libido is the spark that starts things up.

I agree that it's not ideal for man to go decades without sex. Remember that historically, men married around 18-22. If we hit puberty around 15 (ballpark), that means you only go 3-5 years without sex. In the grand scheme of things, that's not very long. But, it's long enough for men to learn to develop the discipline to practice chastity.

Today men are marrying in the 30-40 range (if at all), which means you should stay celibate for somewhere between 15-20 years before marriage. That's insane. One of the objectives of marriage is to help curb lust. Celibacy is hard, and (as we've seen here) waiting decades to marry is a surefire recipe for men to fall into casual sex, masturbation, and porn addiction.

Even in marriage, chastity is a valuable skill. For example, after giving birth, it's unlikely your wife will want to have sex for at least a few months, and it's not uncommon for her to take up to a year to recover. In that time, your marriage will hurt if you're constantly masturbating next to her or pushing her to have sex.

Therefore we can see that the point of having a sex drive is:

-develop discipline
-motivate you to meet women

Putting these together makes a whole lot more sense than rationalizing that God made us horny so that we can pleasure ourselves.
 

Mr Gibbs

Sparrow
Recently been failing with fapping, as soon as I see something promiscuous its like I blank and next thing I know I fap and set myself back. Will work harder next time, my goal rn is one week
 

BlastbeatCasanova

Kingfisher
redbeard said:
Hey no disrespect there, I see where you're coming from.

Sex drive was created so that man has drive to get married and reproduce. Venerable Fulton Sheen mentions this many times in "Three To Get Married" (excellent book). The sex drive is what motivates us to pair up. Once you're in a relationship, the fruits of it (bonding, offspring, etc.) are what keep you going, but libido is the spark that starts things up.

I agree that it's not ideal for man to go decades without sex. Remember that historically, men married around 18-22. If we hit puberty around 15 (ballpark), that means you only go 3-5 years without sex. In the grand scheme of things, that's not very long. But, it's long enough for men to learn to develop the discipline to practice chastity.

Today men are marrying in the 30-40 range (if at all), which means you should stay celibate for somewhere between 15-20 years before marriage. That's insane. One of the objectives of marriage is to help curb lust. Celibacy is hard, and (as we've seen here) waiting decades to marry is a surefire recipe for men to fall into casual sex, masturbation, and porn addiction.

Even in marriage, chastity is a valuable skill. For example, after giving birth, it's unlikely your wife will want to have sex for at least a few months, and it's not uncommon for her to take up to a year to recover. In that time, your marriage will hurt if you're constantly masturbating next to her or pushing her to have sex.

Therefore we can see that the point of having a sex drive is:

-develop discipline
-motivate you to meet women

Putting these together makes a whole lot more sense than rationalizing that God made us horny so that we can pleasure ourselves.
Excellent points. The modern world has mucked it all up and I'm guilty of partaking in it.
 
How do you guys deal with yoga pants? The Overton window has shifted far enough that wearing spandex leggings as pants is now totally commonplace. It's such a brazen call for attention. It's a race to the bottom.. we must be close by now!

Urge to sign with aloha suppressed....
 

redbeard

Hummingbird
Moderator
forestdweller said:
How do you guys deal with yoga pants? The Overton window has shifted far enough that wearing spandex leggings as pants is now totally commonplace. It's such a brazen call for attention. It's a race to the bottom.. we must be close by now!

Urge to sign with aloha suppressed....
The easy answer is "custody of the eyes" but that's easier said than done. Here's some things I do...

1. Engineered solution aka don't spend time in places where there's scantily clad women

2. When I see a woman I repeat to myself "don't even think about it" until the urge to gaze at her body is gone

3. As Roosh has mentioned, look at her face instead. Or hair. It's hard to become lustful looking at a girl's hair.

4. (For Catholics) regular confession and of course, mention how much you glance at women's bodies
 
I still hope that there is a backlash against yoga pants even at a secular level. While many do it for attention, I don't think the young are taught enough about male biology, especially in our peak testosterone years, to know the full extent of what they are doing.

When I was studying in Sweden I basically felt like a gynecologist going to the gym. For a 15 year old it might sound like a dream, but we know better that this really is mind control.

The average person would say "what should a woman wear then?" As if no female was going to a gym in the 70s and 80s. Plenty of ways to conceal your genitals from the world, but in the West they seem to have been forgotten. Bettina Arndt had a good piece about that.

Even in Eastern Europe part of the women do it. The only solution I see is if every man (or older women for that matter) calls them out on it. The girls could not deal with the humiliation and would slowly get it line. Or stare the hell out of them. They are making you uncomfortable as much as you are making them uncomfortable, if not more. The simps would never participate in that though.
 

HermeticAlly

Woodpecker
"What should a woman wear then?"

At my gym, occasionally there are girls who are just wearing loose-fitting T-shirts and gym shorts or sweatpants, which don't really show off anything. I have far more respect for those girls because they're actually coming to the gym to exercise most of the time, rather than to be seen.
 
If they're so comfortable also why do I see them constantly yanking them up their crotch every fifteen minutes?

Shorts and a tshirt? Sweatpants? Or if you must wear them as leggings with a longer top?

With what we know about women I think it's safe to say they know EXACTLY what they're doing. All most modern women know is how to actively sexualize themselves.
 
Hey guys,

I'm trying to kick the masturbation habit. I tend to go a long time being clean (90-120 days) and then I'll fall back into it, hard.

It's worse now with the effects of being copped up inside all day. Frankly, even before this quarantine I was isolated.
 

redbeard

Hummingbird
Moderator
LordOfMisrule99 said:
Hey guys,

I'm trying to kick the masturbation habit. I tend to go a long time being clean (90-120 days) and then I'll fall back into it, hard.

It's worse now with the effects of being copped up inside all day. Frankly, even before this quarantine I was isolated.
I'd implore you to take a good hard look at yourself and see what was going on when you relapsed. Often times, we'll have really good streaks, then become comfortable, and start easing up on the habits and practices that kept us clean.

I've been *really* clean the last 6 months or so. However I relapsed sometime in February. What happened? Simple, I was letting myself get back on social media. I was gazing a little bit too long at girls in the gym. And, I was spending too much time with my girlfriend in close quarters.

All of these habits...I was strict about for a while, but as I eased up on them, I ended up falling down and relapsing.
 
What does having a cheat day do to you if you're not mentally strong enough yet? or your sexual needs are not being met.. In my case I end up soiling my underwear when I'm at my limit. So I go with the known devil or whatever the saying.
(I'm sorry if it's already been answered my weak brain seeks validation.)
 
You're only cheating yourself with cheat days. I'll only smoke crack on Saturdays with the boys..

Porn is very addictive with no benefits outside immediate pleasure.
 
Mayhem said:
What does having a cheat day do to you if you're not mentally strong enough yet? or your sexual needs are not being met.. In my case I end up soiling my underwear when I'm at my limit. So I go with the known devil or whatever the saying.
(I'm sorry if it's already been answered my weak brain seeks validation.)
Use your fantasies for a couple of months, for whatever you do. Just no stuff from screen. Before you start browsing, run away and do the deed.

Then after a while you can try to move to no masturbation at all.
 
The key isn’t to “try not to masturbate,” it’s to acquire the Holy Spirit. Light pushes the darkness out, so try to focus on receiving more light rather than trying to will your way out of darkness. It’s more effective, more pleasant, and ultimately easier as well.

Fasting, prayer, charity, dying to yourself in other ways, disciplined Bible reading and asceticism and diet...all of it works together to bring your flesh into subjection.
 

Kurgan

Kingfisher
I'm proud to say tomorrow, I will have reached 30 days of NoFap. The longest I've done was 45 days, I found I do a lot more things to improve myself now that I also have the week off.
 
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