NoPorn / NoFap Google Group - For Those Who're Serious

Rob Banks

Pelican
I remember when I was in preschool or kindergarten, I knew what sex was and that it involved a man's and woman's genitals (thank you progressively-minded parents), but I did not know what the sexual act actually entailed.

I remember at school one day (again, this is when I was about 4) another little boy told me that during sex the man's privates are inserted into the woman's privates, and then laughed at me when I claimed that this wasn't true.

I discovered masturbation as a little kid (around 3 or 4), but I only did it because it felt good and I had no idea that it was connected to sex or sexuality until others explained it to me.

The first time I was sexually aroused was when I discovered softcore lesbian porn on TV at 13. After that, I became curious and started searching for porn on the internet.
 
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I discovered masturbation as a little kid (around 3 or 4), but I only did it because it felt good and I had no idea that it was connected to sex or sexuality until others explained it to me.
It was similar for me around age 5 or 6. I did not connect the orgastic feeling with girls or women but rather things I wished I had, like a nice Ferrari. Though nobody told me about masturbation and happened to discover it by myself. Some years later a classmate exposed me to hardcore pornography at age 9 and didn't know that masturbation was a real thing until 13. Now I'm at a point where I cannot watch porn anymore because of pure disgust. I realized how unreal porn actually is, even the amateur porn tries to imitate professional porn, in which both are not showing the real act of sex. There is no beauty to it, no connection, nothing that resembles love and tender feelings for one another, it is the total degradation of someone to the genital and shows sex as a performance and not an expression of love.

Years later, when I had sex I wanted to imitate what I had seen in porn and focus on performance and genitals, though I noticed that my (then) girlfriend and myself felt degraded by doing that. I was convinced you have to progress in sex as with anything, which is the biggest lie in modern history. The first sexual experiences were better because they were real and an expression of love, it was not a performance but the culmination of two souls uniting.

For the new decade, I decided to quit masturbation (or at least masturbation to porn) entirely and I am still going. Losing semen for no reason has become senseless to me. If I don't have what it takes to have a girlfriend and marrying her, why wasting my sexual energy? Better invest the creative forces in something else.
 
Probably not the best idea to be talking about our first experiences with arousal in a group about avoiding indulging those very same feelings. I was about to post something and I'm having a different frame of mind about it now.
My new friend is an inspiration, but I've come to realize that even if she were to suddenly depart my life right now, the idea of her is what's truly inspiring me. We've been talking 6 days and are going to have our first date soon, likely this weekend coming if not sooner.
But my point is it's about the journey, not arriving somewhere. I feel like I only got a response from women because I took on this lifestyle, and even though none of the women giving me attention know what I'm doing, they obviously are responding to me differently now than before I started.
When I get tempted now, I think to myself a step towards a fap is a step away from women. Not a step towards them.
I prefer women.
 
May-->Clean month

The thing I did differently was "commit to a process."

My process goals were as follows:
-No phone use in bedroom at all
-No phone between hours of 6pm-11pm
-Deleted instagram

When you remove your ques it becomes extremely difficult to relapse. In my case my phone was the biggest que. There were day where I felt like complete shit (withdrawls I believe)....you just have to say "no."...."it's not who I am anymore."

Identity change. I also lifted and exercised daily.....I really believe that May was breakthrough month. This poison we call porn is preventing men from taking on their natural form.....as creators.

That's what you are doing when you have sex....the act of creation (of life).....don't spill that energy on dopamine and a soulless screen. It's disgusting how society glorifies lust/sexualization....the man who can walk away from these temptation takes back power in his life.

I heard a good phrase the other day...."addiction is choicelessness...." And that's what porn is doing...it takes away your choice in many ways. Keep going guys....this is the path.
 
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The woman who messaged me on mingle turned out to be a scam artist. I relapsed yesterday.
Fucking angry at myself. Angry at women. Angry at ... at God. I know I'll get over it eventually though. Would prefer to be in that place now.

Feels like I got sent this woman as a test, but I thought it was a reward when she arrived.
I guess the lesson here is I'm really well trained on being rewarded for my efforts, and I should learn that effort is suppose to be its own reward.
Or maybe not to take the first 'reward' that appears to be what I hope it is.

I dunno, this whole surreal experience just makes me question everything again and makes me feel less grounded. Part of me thinks I'm already dead and in hell.
 

Marius

Newbie
Hi, first post here, i'm following Roosh for quite some time, but i've never visited the forum. I actually registered with the sole purpose of starting a thread on the issue of porn addiction, little did i know there is one dating 2012. I'll have a look around at the other posts and topics.

The main reason why i'm here is because i have the idea that making my addiction (semi-)public would be another good cause to keep myself motivated, since i will take for myself the challenge to make a post here every time i fail. Quarantine while living alone was really tough.

See you around and never lose hope. God bless!
 
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Mountaineer

Kingfisher
Gold Member
So it's been something like two and a half months, I've lost count. Still hanging on but a lack of female company is really getting to me. :/ The abstinence is good but it's not the end goal. I wish I was already like my friends, married with a kid on the way. God is testing me hard. I guess I need to earn more grace before I'm rewarded with a wife.
 
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Hermetic Seal

Kingfisher
Gold Member
If I recall correctly, you are married right? I'd be interested to hear how a man retains with a live-in wife/gf. There are a few hours between my SO and I so it's relatively easy to do No-Fap/retain when I'm on my own.
I'm now at 2+ weeks. I don't think I've ever actually gone this long without yanking it before. Maybe close to three weeks a few years ago?

What I've found is that the urge to fap/look at porn is almost completely detached from the desire for sex. They feel like almost two different things. Having sex does sap the urge to fap a little bit, but there have been plenty of times where I fapped the very next day. I think a big part of it is the immediacy of it. But ultimately, it does provide release that ultimately wouldn't be there. The temptation to fap/porn is more bad habit/twitch impulse than anything else in my case.

Fapping to porn is like eating a whole box of cookies all at once - big dopamine hit, zero effort involved. Having sex with your wife is like going to the store, buying ingredients, preparing them, cooking, and then having a meal. And the temptation to take the "easy route" is almost the same in both cases - laziness.

@Mountaineer - As I can tell you from experience, the temptation doesn't go away when you get married - maybe for a little bit, but it'll be back. Best to deal with all of this first.
 

Mountaineer

Kingfisher
Gold Member
Why live in a barn if you own a beautiful hacienda? No one can truly escape temptation but this vice is not so strong that I would do something that stupid. I'd rather tinker on my car instead.
 
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Mountaineer

Kingfisher
Gold Member
OK so 75 days is the furthest I managed to get this time. Let's see if I can surpass that. I still feel great and can attest that if you vastly reduce faping you really will have extra energy at your disposal and clearer thinking. What is the number one most important thing though is sleep, if you don't sleep long enough you will be a shadow of a man.
 

!!!???!!!

Sparrow
I cracked a few days ago. My streak was 3 or 4 weeks. This time I will go even longer. It made me realize that fornication (which is what broke me originally) and masturbation are entwined, there is procreative and unitive aspect to sex, to pretend there isn't is a big problem. However, one thing I noticed is that I started looking at women differently. Less for gratification, personality became important.
 

Hermetic Seal

Kingfisher
Gold Member
I've hit three weeks, this is the longest I've ever gone without fapping. I did experience some temptation a few days ago but I've been fine since then. Feeling great.
 

Hermetic Seal

Kingfisher
Gold Member
Haha no. At the time I registered I was reading John C Wright's "Count To The Eschaton" series of science fiction novels, and the word "hermetic" showed up a lot for various reasons (both in the form of a conspiratorial society and in the scientific sense of a hermetic seal.) It's just a play on the adverb "hermetically."

In retrospect I wish I'd spent more time thinking about it because some people are going to see my username and wonder if I'm faggotry-supporting mystic infiltrator (at the time I don't think I'd heard "ally" used in the sense it's used by homosexual bolsheviks.) To fix this problem while somewhat remaining identifiable as the same guy, on Twitter I go by "HermeticSeal." If RVF allowed you to change your username, I'd switch to this in a heartbeat.
 

Batman_

Kingfisher
May-->Clean month

The thing I did differently was "commit to a process."

My process goals were as follows:
-No phone use in bedroom at all
-No phone between hours of 6pm-11pm
-Deleted instagram

When you remove your ques it becomes extremely difficult to relapse. In my case my phone was the biggest que. There were day where I felt like complete shit (withdrawls I believe)....you just have to say "no."...."it's not who I am anymore."

Identity change. I also lifted and exercised daily.....I really believe that May was breakthrough month. This poison we call porn is preventing men from taking on their natural form.....as creators.

That's what you are doing when you have sex....the act of creation (of life).....don't spill that energy on dopamine and a soulless screen. It's disgusting how society glorifies lust/sexualization....the man who can walk away from these temptation takes back power in his life.

I heard a good phrase the other day...."addiction is choicelessness...." And that's what porn is doing...it takes away your choice in many ways. Keep going guys....this is the path.
Sounds like you read Atomic Habits and/or Power of Habit or are at least familiar with the concepts in those books.

Willpower just isn't the answer, it just doesn't do shit, nor does goal setting. It's all about your systems/processes, which are composed of habits/routines. Goal setting is important too but it's not enough to just state your goal and expect to magically reach it. It's the little things you do every day that count.
 

redbeard

Hummingbird
Moderator
Hey guys - what would take this thread to the next level?

They do a lot more stuff on the /r/nofap page. Monthly challenges, accountability check-ins, memes, motivation, etc.

Just wondering what you guys would like to see here.
 

!!!???!!!

Sparrow
If you crack you have to post the type of porn you PMO'd too. Hear me out, I'm not insane. How many of us have struggled with escalating fetishes? Making it secret increases the shame IMO, so posting about it publically will make you feel less alone, less isolated. Or maybe it's not a good idea, I dunno, it's just a thought.
 

redbeard

Hummingbird
Moderator
If you crack you have to post the type of porn you PMO'd too. Hear me out, I'm not insane. How many of us have struggled with escalating fetishes? Making it secret increases the shame IMO, so posting about it publically will make you feel less alone, less isolated. Or maybe it's not a good idea, I dunno, it's just a thought.
This is a bad idea.

Signed,

The Moderation Team
 
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