NoPorn / NoFap Google Group - For Those Who're Serious

Mr Freedom

Sparrow
I am on day 35

Just prior to this I had a 50 day streak before a momentary relapse so I feel pretty good now

I had a wet dream a few days ago but in the NOFAP scheme of things it does not count right?
 

Mr Freedom

Sparrow
I have been without fapping for about 8-9 months now. All glory to God. Masturbation is sin and I want to be pleasing to God, this has helped me quit doing that. Another thing that helped me was that I was in an environment with no to minimal privacy for an extended period of time. Avoiding sexually triggering imagery also helps, that includes (((Hollywood))) movies and TV shows which seem to very often have sex scenes or something sexual in practically every movie/episode.

Just my 2 cents.
Yes I always have my remote in hand in so I can skip anything of a sexual nature

I know from experience that NOFAP can only work if you stop actively trying to watch sexual content. So no peeking, Instagram or youtube videos of scantily clad girls for me.

I also stay away from the parks where woman are blatantly dressed in a way they are looking for validation and do so in such an annoying and blatant manner (Roller skater chicks are the worst at this)
 
Deleting my FB and IG accounts were an absolute boon; what's also helpful is "un-liking" videos on YouTube of sexy content. Clearing and pausing history makes prevents me from being curious. As well as deleting all of the saved smut on my computer and external drives.

I'm embarrassed to admit it but for most of my teen years my "porn" was... department store lingerie ads. Not as bad as hardcore XXX stuff, but it still caused me to sin.
 

LeBeau

Ostrich
Gold Member
I haven't posted in here since this hasn't been an issue for me, but I thought I should share a few tips that might help.

If you're struggling, think less about the mental aspects, and more about the physical. If you're pounding yourself into the ground with workouts (yes, even 2-3x a day if needed) then you'll be less likely to feel tempted. It's similar to cravings for junk food, most of which come up when idle.

Virtually no one craves cake and ice cream following a big deadlift or sprint workout, rather your body is screaming for protein. Some might argue that your increased testosterone is bound to increase libido, but if you're truly tired or wiped out from borderline overtraining, your body will prioritize rest instead.

Finally, when you are with your woman, go for a marathon to the point of one of you being completely drained, satisfied, etc. and unwilling to continue. This will generally help reduce urges the following day to do anything on your own.
 

miuoy

Newbie
I am having some serious difficulty with quitting porn and it is despite so many good things that I have been doing recently. I am a catechumen in my local Russian orthodox church and I will be baptized soon, I got married to an amazing woman, I have completely quit smoking and doing drugs. I have done this all in the last year and now I am left with what I see as one of my last serious vices which is pornography and masturbation.

I feel so hopeless because I am too ashamed of my addiction to find help from those close to me and it seems to be getting worse. After only a week since my last time, I relapsed again today and I am utterly disgusted with myself and so much so that I felt like in order to get better I need to talk or vent or whatever to somewhere that people are struggling just like me.

Since the last about a year and a half I was a complete degenerate and the types of porn I have been addicted to have been so extreme that I have (thankfully mostly successfully) forced myself to forget about them. when I have been relapsing recently I have only been on vanilla porn but I guess you all know how that goes as I need something more and more extreme each time I am slipping again into worse things. I feel like a total slave to my lust and that whenever the feeling comes it is impossible for me to ignore. I reason with myself why I should do it and why it is ok only to realise that I have tricked myself after the fact with shitty reasoning. This is so much harder for me to quit than anything else. I mean I had trouble quitting nicotine but it was nothing compared to this.

Recently I have been praying to try and stop myself to no avail reciting the Jesus prayer over and over until I finally lose control. I think that the worst part about this is that it is interfering with my faith and my religious growth. I find that its never sexual things I see out in the world that triggers my addiction but instead it is whenever my mind thinks "ooh this would be a good time alone to masturbate" and from there I get images in my head that I can't stop. I don't know if anyone has anything similar to this because I see a lot of people commenting about how as long as they stay away from sexual imagery they're alright.

So anyway if you did actually read through my wall of text I really appreciate it but the bottom line is that I think just putting my story out there to what seems like a pretty great community will help me more than knowing anyone read it.
 

FactusIRX

Sparrow
I am having some serious difficulty with quitting porn and it is despite so many good things that I have been doing recently. I am a catechumen in my local Russian orthodox church and I will be baptized soon, I got married to an amazing woman, I have completely quit smoking and doing drugs. I have done this all in the last year and now I am left with what I see as one of my last serious vices which is pornography and masturbation.

I feel so hopeless because I am too ashamed of my addiction to find help from those close to me and it seems to be getting worse. After only a week since my last time, I relapsed again today and I am utterly disgusted with myself and so much so that I felt like in order to get better I need to talk or vent or whatever to somewhere that people are struggling just like me.

Since the last about a year and a half I was a complete degenerate and the types of porn I have been addicted to have been so extreme that I have (thankfully mostly successfully) forced myself to forget about them. when I have been relapsing recently I have only been on vanilla porn but I guess you all know how that goes as I need something more and more extreme each time I am slipping again into worse things. I feel like a total slave to my lust and that whenever the feeling comes it is impossible for me to ignore. I reason with myself why I should do it and why it is ok only to realise that I have tricked myself after the fact with shitty reasoning. This is so much harder for me to quit than anything else. I mean I had trouble quitting nicotine but it was nothing compared to this.

Recently I have been praying to try and stop myself to no avail reciting the Jesus prayer over and over until I finally lose control. I think that the worst part about this is that it is interfering with my faith and my religious growth. I find that its never sexual things I see out in the world that triggers my addiction but instead it is whenever my mind thinks "ooh this would be a good time alone to masturbate" and from there I get images in my head that I can't stop. I don't know if anyone has anything similar to this because I see a lot of people commenting about how as long as they stay away from sexual imagery they're alright.

So anyway if you did actually read through my wall of text I really appreciate it but the bottom line is that I think just putting my story out there to what seems like a pretty great community will help me more than knowing anyone read it.
I have a similar issue, and the important thing to remember is not to beat yourself up about it.

You also need to be more systematic in your approach. Praying to God helps, but unfortunately, you likely also have a psychological and physiological addiction that needs to be addressed as well. I have been using a protracted approach, where I give myself a goal (10 days), and then if I reach it, I will choose a longer goal (12 days). Additionally, I will have a goal of the amount of times I will watch porn in a month (5 times, for example) and then try to reduce it each month. Every time I fail, instead of attacking myself, I'll try and locate the triggers. For me, masturbation and porn have become a coping technique for anxiety. As a result, every-time I feel overwhelmed, I'll turn to porn. That habit or behaviour needs to be broken over time. I recommend keeping a diary of every-time you watch porn and masturbate and analyze what went wrong (what were the triggers and possible solutions in the future). I've failed multiple times, but I just keep pushing. Overtime, I notice that I become less dependent, and I'm better able to control myself. If you have been using porn for decades, then it's not something that you'll beat in a month.
 

miuoy

Newbie
I have a similar issue, and the important thing to remember is not to beat yourself up about it.

You also need to be more systematic in your approach. Praying to God helps, but unfortunately, you likely also have a psychological and physiological addiction that needs to be addressed as well. I have been using a protracted approach, where I give myself a goal (10 days), and then if I reach it, I will choose a longer goal (12 days). Additionally, I will have a goal of the amount of times I will watch porn in a month (5 times, for example) and then try to reduce it each month. Every time I fail, instead of attacking myself, I'll try and locate the triggers. For me, masturbation and porn have become a coping technique for anxiety. As a result, every-time I feel overwhelmed, I'll turn to porn. That habit or behaviour needs to be broken over time. I recommend keeping a diary of every-time you watch porn and masturbate and analyze what went wrong (what were the triggers and possible solutions in the future). I've failed multiple times, but I just keep pushing. Overtime, I notice that I become less dependent, and I'm better able to control myself. If you have been using porn for decades, then it's not something that you'll beat in a month.
Wow thank you for the tips I really appreciate it. You are probably right that I am too deep into this addiction to just quit cold turkey. I wish you the best of luck in your own attempts.
 

Hermetic Seal

Kingfisher
Gold Member
@miuoy From reading your account I definitely think the best thing you could do is talk to your priest. Coming clean about your struggle to somebody in close proximity in real life is tough to do but I think it'd help you a lot.

Well last week didn't go as well, I fapped for the first time in over 30 days. However, I wasn't triggered by anything and didn't have any sexual thoughts, it was pure physical compulsion. On the bright side, in spite of that, I feel really awful about fapping for days afterward, so that's a big improvement from before, when I would fap to porn and feel very little guilt/shame in response to it. It feels like my shame system is returning to its natural state, which is good. After that day, I got hit by sexual temptation a few times but held steady, and now I'm feeling way better.
 

Mr Gibbs

Robin
I am having some serious difficulty with quitting porn and it is despite so many good things that I have been doing recently. I am a catechumen in my local Russian orthodox church and I will be baptized soon, I got married to an amazing woman, I have completely quit smoking and doing drugs. I have done this all in the last year and now I am left with what I see as one of my last serious vices which is pornography and masturbation.

I feel so hopeless because I am too ashamed of my addiction to find help from those close to me and it seems to be getting worse. After only a week since my last time, I relapsed again today and I am utterly disgusted with myself and so much so that I felt like in order to get better I need to talk or vent or whatever to somewhere that people are struggling just like me.

Since the last about a year and a half I was a complete degenerate and the types of porn I have been addicted to have been so extreme that I have (thankfully mostly successfully) forced myself to forget about them. when I have been relapsing recently I have only been on vanilla porn but I guess you all know how that goes as I need something more and more extreme each time I am slipping again into worse things. I feel like a total slave to my lust and that whenever the feeling comes it is impossible for me to ignore. I reason with myself why I should do it and why it is ok only to realise that I have tricked myself after the fact with shitty reasoning. This is so much harder for me to quit than anything else. I mean I had trouble quitting nicotine but it was nothing compared to this.

Recently I have been praying to try and stop myself to no avail reciting the Jesus prayer over and over until I finally lose control. I think that the worst part about this is that it is interfering with my faith and my religious growth. I find that its never sexual things I see out in the world that triggers my addiction but instead it is whenever my mind thinks "ooh this would be a good time alone to masturbate" and from there I get images in my head that I can't stop. I don't know if anyone has anything similar to this because I see a lot of people commenting about how as long as they stay away from sexual imagery they're alright.

So anyway if you did actually read through my wall of text I really appreciate it but the bottom line is that I think just putting my story out there to what seems like a pretty great community will help me more than knowing anyone read it.
Ya know something I’ve been trying to do lately is before I hop on the internet I say I prayer just like before eating or going to sleep.
The prayer I use is something along the lines of “Lord grant me safe passage during my time on the internet. Do not let me fall to sin. Amen.” Or something to that effect.

Hopefully this helps
 

Yate

Newbie
Day 1 for me. Quarentine has done really bad things for my habits. I was out of Porn for almost half a year I guess, I wasn't even counting the days. Then all of a sudden I was my teen self again. I truly don't understand what happened. So here I am at square one again.
 

Lazuli Waves

Woodpecker
Day 1 for me. Quarentine has done really bad things for my habits. I was out of Porn for almost half a year I guess, I wasn't even counting the days. Then all of a sudden I was my teen self again. I truly don't understand what happened. So here I am at square one again.
Is your goal to stop porn or stop porn and masturbation? Just asking to see if I can figure out a way to help.
 

Yate

Newbie
Is your goal to stop porn or stop porn and masturbation? Just asking to see if I can figure out a way to help.
Both. Primarily porn as it's, in my opinion, the worst of the two. I see masturbation as something to avoid but I don't see it as morally wrong. Porn is the cause of so many of our pitfalls as a civilization that I feel repulsed by being addicted to it. As I said I was out of it for several months without much of a problem. I had a lot of things going on with my life, and I had great faith in God and it just came naturally. Then, a little before the quarentine my faith started to die for some unknown reason (I'm still trying to figure this out) and then with the whole Covid thing I had too much free time.
Thanks for your help Lazuli.
 

BlastbeatCasanova

Kingfisher
Made it a week, still going. I still glance at pictures of scantily clad women on the net occasionally, I can appreciate a woman's beauty without being compelled to masturbate. My last long streak really showed me that I'm not defined by my horniness and that I have a choice to not have to jack it
 

Lazuli Waves

Woodpecker
Both. Primarily porn as it's, in my opinion, the worst of the two. I see masturbation as something to avoid but I don't see it as morally wrong. Porn is the cause of so many of our pitfalls as a civilization that I feel repulsed by being addicted to it. As I said I was out of it for several months without much of a problem. I had a lot of things going on with my life, and I had great faith in God and it just came naturally. Then, a little before the quarentine my faith started to die for some unknown reason (I'm still trying to figure this out) and then with the whole Covid thing I had too much free time.
Thanks for your help Lazuli.
I think no fap boards can get confusing because it seems to mean different things to different people (single man not masturbating, married man not masturbating, single man not masturbating to pornography, or married man not masturbating to pornography).

I would just be concerned with the pornography. If you want to then later explore stopping masturbation all together that's fine. I think the debate over masturbation is a separate issue. I was able to stop viewing pornography, but not masturbating. Both Catholic and Eastern Orthodox Churches say masturbation is a sin, and various saints have said so. Some protestants say it is not because it's not directly mentioned in the bible. They say it's OK to think about your future wife while you do it. I've tried stopping masturbation a few times, but wasn't able to. So I try to view it more as taking care of a bodily function when the tension builds up. I try to imagine being with a wife, and not imagine any married women. C.S. Lewis said the problem with masturbation is you can build this harem of invisible women who are perfect, always there for you, and easier to deal with than real women. I wouldn't use the same language to describe sex with a wife (beautiful, loving, bonding, moving) as I would masturbation (bodily-function). I do feel concerned about it because of all the people I mentioned who say it's a sin, but this is the best I can do. I am more focused on staying away from pornography.

With regard to pornography, when I first saw it, I thought about how I would not want my future wife to have participated in it. I felt hypocritical for supporting it by viewing it. It's like I was saying, "it's OK for some women to destroy themselves because it makes me feel good." I wouldn't want a female relative, or any woman to do this. I felt guilty supporting their destruction. I didn't stop though because I thought it was a way to relieve stress or depression. But it made me feel worse in the long run.

I did not understand families back then, but now I see how someone could be involved in making porn, quit, and have a family, and it could cause a lot of problems for the husband and wife, even if the husband did not know about it, because of emotional and bonding problems the woman will have. It could as a result affect her children. My selfish actions could create a ripple effect across time. I don't know how many of "professional" porn actresses have families. I think a lot of them commit suicide or die of overdoses. But now OnlyFans has normalized being a "porn star." https://www.lifesitenews.com/blogs/...are-actually-dead-and-buried...their-work-kil

What helped me stop looking at porn was that I was feeling terrible in general. I was desperate to feel better, so I was trying to improve myself. I kept thinking, if I improve this one thing or stop doing this other thing, I will feel better. Some people say that self-improvement is a treadmill, and there's some truth to that, but I still think it's good to work on yourself. It did help me feel better, but not solve all my problems.

So stopping watching pornography was an area where I wanted to improve. You shouldn't think that if you stop watching pornography, you will no longer feel depressed or have problems. If you think that, you will get discouraged and possibly go back to watching pornography. You may think, "I still had problems after I stopped, so why not just watch it and feel good for a brief while." But again I think there's this creeping quality to pornography. It's like a slow acting poison. But stopping definitely makes me feel better. I like how I feel now better than how I felt before.

What helped me stop viewing pornography was thinking about what I said earlier with "my future wife," and also reading about all the ill effects of it, both for viewers and for those who produce it. I can't remember the exact sites I used, but I just looked around Google and YouTube for the basic information. Go on YouTube and Google and search for "porn addiction" (even if you don't think you are addicted), "overcoming porn" "christian AND overcoming porn." Do a variety of searches. I recommend reading a variety of sources. People who are pro-pornography will find errors, or alleged errors, to prove pornography has no harms. I'm sure that some of the information I read has errors and is not true. If you open a 300 page book on any subject, there's going to be incorrect information. Don't get discouraged if you later find out a detail you read is not true. You don't have to throw out all the information because of some errors. It's more about the general idea rather than focusing so much on the details. So reading a wide-range of information from different sources is good. I was able to see how I was hurting myself by viewing pornography, and I stopped pretty quickly. I stopped viewing it for a long time, then there were a few times I felt very depressed or stressed and I went back to it. But I noticed afterwards I felt really terrible. It wasn't just a guilt. It was just a terrible feeling I can't describe. It just made me feel sick. I suppose it's like if an alcoholic quit, got depressed, went back to alcohol, but instantly vomited due to some kind of bad reaction. I was able to see how it affected me more clearly than ever. That helped me to quit and it's been quite a while since I last viewed pornography.

Things could go bad in my life at anytime, and maybe I will slip back into it like an alcoholic returning to alcohol. I hope not. I'm not saying anything about porn from a holier-than-thou perspective. Don't be TOO hard on yourself, because even if you slip up a little, you might think you're a complete failure and say, "What's the use resisting at all? I'm just going to have some fun." I'm sure I'll feel temptations at different stages of my life.
 
I've reached a point in my journey where the horror experienced afterwards outweighs the pleasure felt while doing it. I speculate this is because I had recently upped my spiritual practices (doing an examination of conscience daily) so the fallen angels are intensifying their temptations. Then, when I succumb, they turn around and taunt me with the thought that I will go to Hell any second now.
 

Rob Banks

Pelican
I think no fap boards can get confusing because it seems to mean different things to different people (single man not masturbating, married man not masturbating, single man not masturbating to pornography, or married man not masturbating to pornography).

I would just be concerned with the pornography. If you want to then later explore stopping masturbation all together that's fine. I think the debate over masturbation is a separate issue. I was able to stop viewing pornography, but not masturbating. Both Catholic and Eastern Orthodox Churches say masturbation is a sin, and various saints have said so. Some protestants say it is not because it's not directly mentioned in the bible. They say it's OK to think about your future wife while you do it. I've tried stopping masturbation a few times, but wasn't able to. So I try to view it more as taking care of a bodily function when the tension builds up. I try to imagine being with a wife, and not imagine any married women. C.S. Lewis said the problem with masturbation is you can build this harem of invisible women who are perfect, always there for you, and easier to deal with than real women. I wouldn't use the same language to describe sex with a wife (beautiful, loving, bonding, moving) as I would masturbation (bodily-function). I do feel concerned about it because of all the people I mentioned who say it's a sin, but this is the best I can do. I am more focused on staying away from pornography.

With regard to pornography, when I first saw it, I thought about how I would not want my future wife to have participated in it. I felt hypocritical for supporting it by viewing it. It's like I was saying, "it's OK for some women to destroy themselves because it makes me feel good." I wouldn't want a female relative, or any woman to do this. I felt guilty supporting their destruction. I didn't stop though because I thought it was a way to relieve stress or depression. But it made me feel worse in the long run.

I did not understand families back then, but now I see how someone could be involved in making porn, quit, and have a family, and it could cause a lot of problems for the husband and wife, even if the husband did not know about it, because of emotional and bonding problems the woman will have. It could as a result affect her children. My selfish actions could create a ripple effect across time. I don't know how many of "professional" porn actresses have families. I think a lot of them commit suicide or die of overdoses. But now OnlyFans has normalized being a "porn star." https://www.lifesitenews.com/blogs/...are-actually-dead-and-buried...their-work-kil

What helped me stop looking at porn was that I was feeling terrible in general. I was desperate to feel better, so I was trying to improve myself. I kept thinking, if I improve this one thing or stop doing this other thing, I will feel better. Some people say that self-improvement is a treadmill, and there's some truth to that, but I still think it's good to work on yourself. It did help me feel better, but not solve all my problems.

So stopping watching pornography was an area where I wanted to improve. You shouldn't think that if you stop watching pornography, you will no longer feel depressed or have problems. If you think that, you will get discouraged and possibly go back to watching pornography. You may think, "I still had problems after I stopped, so why not just watch it and feel good for a brief while." But again I think there's this creeping quality to pornography. It's like a slow acting poison. But stopping definitely makes me feel better. I like how I feel now better than how I felt before.

What helped me stop viewing pornography was thinking about what I said earlier with "my future wife," and also reading about all the ill effects of it, both for viewers and for those who produce it. I can't remember the exact sites I used, but I just looked around Google and YouTube for the basic information. Go on YouTube and Google and search for "porn addiction" (even if you don't think you are addicted), "overcoming porn" "christian AND overcoming porn." Do a variety of searches. I recommend reading a variety of sources. People who are pro-pornography will find errors, or alleged errors, to prove pornography has no harms. I'm sure that some of the information I read has errors and is not true. If you open a 300 page book on any subject, there's going to be incorrect information. Don't get discouraged if you later find out a detail you read is not true. You don't have to throw out all the information because of some errors. It's more about the general idea rather than focusing so much on the details. So reading a wide-range of information from different sources is good. I was able to see how I was hurting myself by viewing pornography, and I stopped pretty quickly. I stopped viewing it for a long time, then there were a few times I felt very depressed or stressed and I went back to it. But I noticed afterwards I felt really terrible. It wasn't just a guilt. It was just a terrible feeling I can't describe. It just made me feel sick. I suppose it's like if an alcoholic quit, got depressed, went back to alcohol, but instantly vomited due to some kind of bad reaction. I was able to see how it affected me more clearly than ever. That helped me to quit and it's been quite a while since I last viewed pornography.

Things could go bad in my life at anytime, and maybe I will slip back into it like an alcoholic returning to alcohol. I hope not. I'm not saying anything about porn from a holier-than-thou perspective. Don't be TOO hard on yourself, because even if you slip up a little, you might think you're a complete failure and say, "What's the use resisting at all? I'm just going to have some fun." I'm sure I'll feel temptations at different stages of my life.
Good post.

Masturbation in itself is wrong, though. It is, in fact, mentioned in the Bible. God punishes Onan (with death) for spilling his seed. In Onan's case, he was supposed to get his dead brother's wife pregnant but decided to spill his seed (i.e. pull out) instead. But Onan's sin extends to masturbation as well. That is why masturbation is sometimes called "Onanism."

Even if you're thinking about your future wife (whatever that means) or even thinking about your current wife, it is still wrong because you are detaching sexual pleasure from procreation. Even if you are actually having sex with your wife but you're using contraception, condoms, pull-out method, etc., it is still wrong.

I actually quit the NoFap forums because they were totally incoherent regarding this issue. It's like, they're there because they're addicted to porn and masturbation, but when I say that maybe masturbation should be avoided altogether, I get ridiculed and called a religious nut. It's like going to an AA meeting and getting ridiculed when you say drinking should be avoided altogether.

I used to have the same attitude of seeing masturbation as a "bodily function," but then I noticed that it wasn't actually satisfying. When I've had sex, I don't feel like I need it again for at least another few days or even weeks. But when I masturbate, I get sexually tense again within an hour or two. Your body knows you're masturbating and not having sex, and so it doesn't allow you to feel satisfied. It's like the same way if you eat just bread alone, you won't feel full afterwards and you'll still be hungry. Your body knows there's no nutrients in there.

In the past, it was common sense that masturbation was very bad. Only after the so-called "sexual revolution" (along with modern psychoanalysis, Freudianism, etc.) did masturbation start to be seen as acceptable.
 
I also concentrated on quitting pornography. Quitting the other things does not seem to work as it becomes extremely tense after a couple of weeks and I get stomach ache.

My problem when I watched porn was the anxiety it gave me, for whatever reason. I knew I was poisoning my mind and the humiliation I will feel the next day when I go out and the images will still be in my head. It is the ultimate shortcut to beta outlook, losing control of your mind and general social ineptitude.

I think working out and eating well helped me the most. It also structured my life better and is an endless source of positive thoughts about the future.
 
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