NoPorn / NoFap Google Group - For Those Who're Serious

Rob Banks

Pelican
I have been trying to quit jerking off and all forms of lust. I am also new to the faith and I’m dealing with a lot of demons as I have discussed in other threads.

I can go weeks or even a month without beating off, watching porn, or anything. But the lust does not go away. It gets stronger.

I am a former drug addict, and when you quit drugs, the desire fades over time and eventually it is gone. With lust, that does not happen because the sex drive is so deeply ingrained in us.

The more I analyze my life, the more I realize that my inability to control lust is pretty much the cause of all my problems. It’s why I lost my wife. It’s why I got into drugs. It’s why I have been violent in the past.

Short of castrating myself, I don’t see how I can rid myself of these desires.

At one point I was jerking off once every 3 or 4 days and also meditating a lot. That is when I was most able to control the desires. Now, I am following my priest’s advice to stay away from Buddhist meditation and also avoid masturbation altogether. But what happens now is that the desires build up over weeks until I can’t contain it and I do something reckless.

I know that the Christian answer is that these desires need to be controlled, but how do I do that?
 
I don't really agree that meditation is inherently bad, but some forms seem dangerous. Visualization meditations, kundalini meditation, and some mantra/TM stuff seems like it could be dangerous. I've seen it mess with people in ways. However, other techniques, like simply being aware of breath and thoughts and trying to return to basic sense awareness of our breath does not seem inherently dangerous to me. It is simply a technique for changing our physiology from a more stressed out, fight-or-flight, to a relaxed, parasympathetic state. Of course, this kind of meditation is like any tool that CAN be abused. If our hearts are dark, this kind of meditation can just inflame our darkness.

I often do some deep breaths and just try to tune into my body for a few minutes before I pray. It calms me down and focuses my prayer. If any kind of visualizations or thoughts come up, I try to return to my breath... or if that fails I say the Jesus prayer.

I have a lot of meditation experience before becoming Christian. I don't see it as inherently bad, but a lot of techniques inflame the ego and passions and should be avoided. Other types of meditation CAN be useful, but IMO prayer is more important.
 

Errol

Pigeon
I know that the Christian answer is that these desires need to be controlled, but how do I do that?
Regarding meditation, JLP's silent prayer is essentially a de-easternized form of meditation.
I haven't stuck with it long enough to comment on it, but I was doing it first thing on waking when my work was particularly stressful two months ago, and I think it helped me keep some perspective and calm.

@Roosh has commented on using the Jesus prayer several times.
I've taken up the habit of repeating it myself to kill temptation, and while sometimes are longer than others, it does work.
While its more popular in the eastern churches, its so old it has plenty of tradition in the west too, and by nature of being Christian, we should all believe there is power in calling on the name of Our Lord.

Of course, nature abhors a vacuum, so you should probably think about redirecting that energy somewhere else.
Right now has been tough for me since I haven't been exercising regularly what with gyms being closed, and having suffered a personal injury in the past year that prevented me from lifting.
 

redbeard

Hummingbird
Moderator
I have been trying to quit jerking off and all forms of lust. I am also new to the faith and I’m dealing with a lot of demons as I have discussed in other threads.

I can go weeks or even a month without beating off, watching porn, or anything. But the lust does not go away. It gets stronger.

I am a former drug addict, and when you quit drugs, the desire fades over time and eventually it is gone. With lust, that does not happen because the sex drive is so deeply ingrained in us.

The more I analyze my life, the more I realize that my inability to control lust is pretty much the cause of all my problems. It’s why I lost my wife. It’s why I got into drugs. It’s why I have been violent in the past.

Short of castrating myself, I don’t see how I can rid myself of these desires.

At one point I was jerking off once every 3 or 4 days and also meditating a lot. That is when I was most able to control the desires. Now, I am following my priest’s advice to stay away from Buddhist meditation and also avoid masturbation altogether. But what happens now is that the desires build up over weeks until I can’t contain it and I do something reckless.

I know that the Christian answer is that these desires need to be controlled, but how do I do that?
IIRC you're Catholic. How's your prayer life? How often are you praying the Rosary? How often are you praying...at all?
 

Mikeyd03

Sparrow
I relapsed a few days ago. Feels really shitty, but will pick up and go again.

It becomes very clear to me how insidious this habit is when I zoom out and look at my timeline and relationship with pornography. I mentioned before that I had started to use porn to achieve orgasm back in early college.

Prior to starting this habit I was different person. More social, more motivated, overall just more passionate about life. But then I zoom out further and recall that the first time I had viewed porn was back in early middle school.

I was curious....and I just wanted to see what it was all about. But the point is I remember how I felt after the first time I watched porn as young boy....

Pure shame.

Comparing that feeling to how I felt after a few years of using porn.....

There was no shame. Just lust. Just desire.

That's what porn does. I felt very ashamed the other day when I relapsed. I hate to share it on here with you guys. But hopefully this feeling will veer me in the right direction next time.
 

Lazuli Waves

Woodpecker
I'm looking for an accountability partner. I think this might be the only way for me to knock this shit off.
I have never used this app, but it's worth looking into: https://www.lifesitenews.com/news/cant-beat-your-porn-addiction-this-new-app-is-for-you

I saw on app on their site that would connect you with someone else, so everytime you looked at porn, that person would know. If you have a friend you can trust, you could do that with them. I'm sorry that I'm unable to find the app, but maybe you can find it on LifeSite. If you or anyone else wanted, I can be your accountability partner.
 

Lazuli Waves

Woodpecker
I have been trying to quit jerking off and all forms of lust. I am also new to the faith and I’m dealing with a lot of demons as I have discussed in other threads.

I can go weeks or even a month without beating off, watching porn, or anything. But the lust does not go away. It gets stronger.

I am a former drug addict, and when you quit drugs, the desire fades over time and eventually it is gone. With lust, that does not happen because the sex drive is so deeply ingrained in us.

The more I analyze my life, the more I realize that my inability to control lust is pretty much the cause of all my problems. It’s why I lost my wife. It’s why I got into drugs. It’s why I have been violent in the past.

Short of castrating myself, I don’t see how I can rid myself of these desires.

At one point I was jerking off once every 3 or 4 days and also meditating a lot. That is when I was most able to control the desires. Now, I am following my priest’s advice to stay away from Buddhist meditation and also avoid masturbation altogether. But what happens now is that the desires build up over weeks until I can’t contain it and I do something reckless.

I know that the Christian answer is that these desires need to be controlled, but how do I do that?
It is great that you stopped using drugs and being violent. That's a big accomplishment. When you say inability to control your lust, do you mean thoughts or actions?
 
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