NYT Article: "What Sleeping With Married Men Taught Me About Infidelity"

[armenia4ever]

Blame lies with her and the men she slept with.

She KNEW those men were married. It didn't matter. That's a sign of the degeneracy of the age. Dosequis made the point we would have given some Chad a pass if the roles were reversed.

Maybe 5-10 years ago, but now many of us see how it undermines family stability which is what we all have been lamenting the lack of. If some Chad was sleeping with married women and destroying their marriages, we might point out the husbands beta behavior, but most of us would denounce Chads actions.

Adultery was a big deal for MANY cultures around the world because of what it does to the family foundations and the relationships between husbands and wives. Yet after the sexual revolution we give it a pass.

Marriage should be sacred and if we ever want to rebuild the good that was in the West, we have to start there and with the family.

This degeneracy is everywhere in our culture that does not respect marriage.

When my wife was going to a local community college, a guy in her class wouldn't stop hitting on her. I can respect boldness, but when you find out someone is married? (Obvious considering her ring)

The guy openly talked about his dick to her and how he was gonna fuck her. Turns out this guy loved the hunt of all of it. He had fucked some other married girl in one of his classes and after finally doing the deed, he dipped. Destroyed her marriage. It was a notch for him.

Imagine that same thing happened 500 years ago in somebody's village or city. This this man would have been lynched and probably killed by the community.

My works works as a waitress where this 50 year old drug dealer ask sir everyday when he's there about when she's coming home with him while flashing huge stacks of cash. I met the dude when I stopped by there for lunch and played it cool.

The first story he tells me is how he - some short Mexican dude dresses like he's some sort of Thug still - beat up his neighbor who was huge polish guy.

I keep thinking to myself that this guy is acting like he's 20 years old even though he's 50. The guy apparently did some sort of stint in jail, but hasn't learned anything in 50 years. To quote Trump, "Sad!"

I understand why men cheat. I understand why women will cheat. I especially understand how men who haven't slept with their wives in forever might cheat, and yeah their wives should see it coming.

However if we want to build for a solid foundation for the future, we can't excuse the behavior.

Dosequis mentioned that the men should divorce their wives and then sleep around. In this day and age, divorce can ruin a man. We should be encouraging men to take the lead to better themselves and take the lead in restoring the relationship.

 

[TigerMandingo]

It is not "redpill" to cheat around on your wife, no matter how rich/famous you are. Even if she's ok with it, it's still a dick thing to do (no pun intended).

You're either committed to her and raising your children together or you're not.

 

[Thomas More]

Once again, it's worth pointing out that only a few of the married men she fucked had disabled wives. Many of the men she was involved with had physically healthy wives who just weren't doing their duty in the sack. In such cases, I don't believe the men should be stepping out on their spouses---I think he should learn Game, get in physical condition and become attractive to other women. If the wife doesn't respond sexually then you eject.

This is the honorable thing to do in these cases. Having an affair is cowardly and self-falsifying.

A guy in this situation usually has children and financial considerations as well. If his wife is frigid, and he's only willing to be "honorable" as a response to her dishonoring him, then he has to give up his children, subject himself to the court system and the divorce industrial complex, and have his income and assets devastated?

I think getting a little on the side is a justifiable alternative to nuking your life. Frankly, in the long run, a guy like this will decide it's worth giving up access to his children, and to pay a couple of year's income to break her ownship contract over him, but a guy usually has to come around to such a momentous decision gradually.

There's a man's side to this situation, and the woman's side. You're viewing this entirely from the woman's side. She doesn't have to shape up and start being less frigid. She knows her husband is stuck with her, or he'll lose his shirt and access to the kids. Fuck him. He's screwed. That's what she thinks, and that's what people who support the feminine imperative think.

I take the man's point of view in situations like this. The women have more than enough of society and the legal system taking their point of view.

 

[Bangnutter]

It is not "redpill" to cheat around on your wife, no matter how rich/famous you are. Even if she's ok with it, it's still a dick thing to do (no pun intended).

You're either committed to her and raising your children together or you're not.

Honorable Alpha.

 

[kaotic]

It is not "redpill" to cheat around on your wife, no matter how rich/famous you are. Even if she's ok with it, it's still a dick thing to do (no pun intended).

You're either committed to her and raising your children together or you're not.

Sure, "man up".

Just don't forget the flipside of that coin, a woman who let's herself go or who isn't committed to you, your family, and your needs.

Both should be their absolutely best in commiting to eachother and their family.

 

[SiverFox]

It is not "redpill" to cheat around on your wife, no matter how rich/famous you are. Even if she's ok with it, it's still a dick thing to do (no pun intended).

You're either committed to her and raising your children together or you're not.

Sure, "man up".

Just don't forget the flipside of that coin, a woman who let's herself go or who isn't committed to you, your family, and your needs.

And stopped giving up the VJJ, or any intimacy at all

 

[Simeon_Strangelight]

It is not "redpill" to cheat around on your wife, no matter how rich/famous you are. Even if she's ok with it, it's still a dick thing to do (no pun intended).

You're either committed to her and raising your children together or you're not.

Sure, "man up".

Just don't forget the flipside of that coin, a woman who let's herself go or who isn't committed to you, your family, and your needs.

Both should be their absolutely best in commiting to eachother and their family.

It should be a two-way street - a husband who forsakes other women for limited intimacy with one woman.

In return a woman has to take care of her husband sexually. Countless women are no longer interested in fucking their husbands, but they are not allowed to stray. Meanwhile when a woman cheats, then her husband obviously neglected her.

It's not Red Pill especially to cheat on your wife. It's just Red Pill to understand that women tolerate it to some degree. And they certainly like to be with a man who could cheat with many hotter younger women.

 

[RatInTheWoods]

In return a woman has to take care of her husband sexually. Countless women are no longer interested in fucking their husbands, but they are not allowed to stray. Meanwhile when a woman cheats, then her husband obviously neglected her.

It's not Red Pill especially to cheat on your wife. It's just Red Pill to understand that women tolerate it to some degree. And they certainly like to be with a man who could cheat with many hotter younger women.

Another way to say this:

Sexual intimacy is an integral component to a authentic loving relationship.

If she doesn't want to fuck you, she doesn't love you.

Its not "her job" to drain your balls - its your job to find a woman that "wants to".

IE no need to cheat, but a need to ditch her and find another better one that wants to fuck you like you want to be fucked.

I am not going to compromise my values and vows to stay in a sexless relationship with a woman that doesn't love me.

 

[kaotic]

Exactly Zel and Rat - that's what the "man up your marriage" crowd doesn't understand.

It HAS to be reciprocal - how many times have you guys heard a man's wife isn't giving it up and he's lucky to get blown on his bday or when she's had a few glasses of wine?

Marriage is somewhat a sad state of affairs in the west, with so much social and temptation it's hard not to stray and flirt with someone else.

The glaring difference is this:

Men cheat PHYSICALLY

Women cheat EMOTIONALLY


Men in the former can still love one woman when banging on the side.

If a woman is cheating, it's OVER, she's checked out emotionally, meaning your relationship is dead.

I just don't see how marriage is a winning prospect anymore even when you're at the top of your game, looks, finance.


-Insert meme with Superman sleeping and the woman awake asking "Can I do better?"-

Hypergamy never sleeps son.

 

[Paracelsus]

I'm going to put one element that seems to be getting forgotten here. Let me insert the relevant meme here so those of you who feel so inclined can get the snark out of the way ahead of time:

Let's leave aside that The Simpsons, like all mainstream media, has been a pretty potent delivery system for the cultural destruction we've been dealing with and which we are fighting against right now.

A marriage that's gone bad which doesn't have any children in it is one thing. But when you add conscious human beings who did not ask to be born and who rely completely on you for support and a bulwark against the poisonous culture we are living in, it becomes something else entirely.

As at the current date, roughly 1 in 4 children are being raised without a father. Try and understand that number in real terms, take four kids off the street and one of them will have no father in his life.

Now combine that demographic fact with the simple truth that children of single parent households fare worse on school achievement, their social and emotional development, their health and their success in the labor market. They are at greater risk of parental abuse and neglect (especially from live-in boyfriends who are not their biological fathers), more likely to become teen parents and less likely to graduate from high school or college. Making it worse is that single parents also generally have very weak parenting skills to begin with (the article I've linked to points it out.)

Added to that, the statistic is so well-established that leftie outlets keep trying to break it down: children of divorces tend to wind up getting divorced themselves. The cycle is self-perpetuating.

"It's better that the kids grow up in a low conflict separated house than a high conflict married house." Kids judge you on your actions, not your words, as any teenager can tell you. If you stay together even when there's conflict you teach kids the same lesson that Jordan Peterson is currently trying to hammer into a generation of young, listless men's heads: that life isn't all about your own happiness above all, it involves suffering, it involves acceptance of responsibility, and it sometimes involves functioning as an example for people who have to be taught how to hold society together.

If you break up and both parties seem happier for it, you teach a kid precisely the opposite - and you also teach them the same listlessness that Peterson is trying to overcome, you teach them that they need not commit to anything, that nothing matters other than their own, momentary happiness.

You also teach them - at least for a while until they hit 18, because hey, you can always undo childhood programming later on, people do it all the time, right? - that you, their father, don't want them, that you, their father, placed your needs and your happiness above theirs. Which is great and Nietzschean and all, but if you still have this attitude after about a decade or so of being a parent, there is something wrong with you.

"But I still get them 3 times per week, I'm an involved Dad then." Shit employers convince themselves that people doing part-time jobs can be as productive, efficient, present, and available as fulltime employees can. Every divorced kid knows that Dads are for playgrounds and ice creams that their mothers won't get them.

"But my wife won't fuck me! She's not fulfilling her end of the bargain!" Your kids will not think to ask: so?

"She should be putting in as much as I am into the relationship." So relationships are transactional. Thanks, Dad, I'll quote you fondly on that when I hit my first million likes on Instagram. That aside: so your wife is an asshole. She's presenting a bad example, and when you're separated from her, that bad example will be present all the time. What's your countervailing force to that bad example going to be? Playgrounds and extra ice creams?

"But my wife won't find out that I'm cheating on her." Probably not, but you'll know you have, and that'll be half the problem, because from that point on you will be rationalising your behaviour rather than feeling expungable guilt over it. Cheating happens because you are either emotionally disconnected from your wife or because you have lost some of the connection you had with her. Which, I'm sure, is a common thing in all the marriages of the past, but look around you: all those disconnected people, that's what past practice has brought us to.

"Fuck you, I still think my happiness is going to be better for the kids as an example than staying in a sexless marriage." Okay, but you had better be prepared to do twice the work in cleaning up the mess you make, and be prepared for it to fail utterly against the law of large numbers ... not that the law of large numbers matters, because you're an individual, you can choose how your kids react to a life-destroying event like divorce, right?

Your actions have a blast radius, and it includes your kids. Maybe you think your crossed-legs wife deserves it, but you'd have to question the sanity of a man who thinks his kids deserve it too.

Point being: cheating or breaking up with your wife when there are kids involved is not a choice between your happiness and that of your wife, it's choosing between your kids and you. We've had roughly forty years of men and women who chose themselves when presented with those two options, and when you look around you the result of that mass of choices is plain to see.

 

[kaotic]

Point being: cheating or breaking up with your wife when there are kids involved is not a choice between your happiness and that of your wife, it's choosing between your kids and you. We've had roughly forty years of men and women who chose themselves when presented with those two options, and when you look around you the result of that mass of choices is plain to see.

+1

otd:

Pretty fucking solid rationale of why it's about you and your children and not you and her.

 

[getdownonit]

In return a woman has to take care of her husband sexually. Countless women are no longer interested in fucking their husbands, but they are not allowed to stray. Meanwhile when a woman cheats, then her husband obviously neglected her.

It's not Red Pill especially to cheat on your wife. It's just Red Pill to understand that women tolerate it to some degree. And they certainly like to be with a man who could cheat with many hotter younger women.

Another way to say this:

Sexual intimacy is an integral component to a authentic loving relationship.

If she doesn't want to fuck you, she doesn't love you.

Its not "her job" to drain your balls - its your job to find a woman that "wants to".

IE no need to cheat, but a need to ditch her and find another better one that wants to fuck you like you want to be fucked.

I am not going to compromise my values and vows to stay in a sexless relationship with a woman that doesn't love me.

Wanting to fuck and loving are two different things. I've fucked plenty of women who didn't love me and who I didn't love. Sex is necessary to romantic love but not sufficient, as they say.

Loving someone and being in love are two different things. At some age, as much love as you might have for someone, the desire to fuck won't accompany it.

 

[EndsExpect]

It is not "redpill" to cheat around on your wife, no matter how rich/famous you are. Even if she's ok with it, it's still a dick thing to do (no pun intended).
You're either committed to her and raising your children together or you're not.

Life just isn't that simple.

 

[TigerMandingo]

Life just isn't that simple.

Life is very simple. You wake up, you go to work, you take one good shit and back to sleep.

 

[EndsExpect]

Life is very simple. You wake up, you go to work, you take one good shit and back to sleep.

I can appreciate your youthful view of life. The good shits become fewer and farther between as you age.

When you have children, then you are stuck with a woman. Unless of course you don't plan to be any kind of father. Relationships change over long periods... people change. It's also very hard and somewhat unnatural for a man to only have one woman.

 

[TigerMandingo]

So what if it's hard. So is building muscle or learning a new language.

I say this as someone who was married and who cheated. My exwife forgave me but things were never the same after that. It's just not worth it.

 

[whatday]

If you have any of the problems mentioned for the wives and husbands is this thread (barring the disability-related ones), you f***** up.

 

[kaotic]

Life just isn't that simple.

Life is very simple. You wake up, you go to work, you take one good shit and back to sleep.

That's not a life I want to live, nor strive for.

No man should, life shouldn't be a routine, it shouldn't be easy, or boring.

Life is not that simple, why?

Because you're the only person you can control, you have almost 0 control over other people and variables in your life.

 

[EndsExpect]

So what if it's hard. So is building muscle or learning a new language.
I say this as someone who was married and who cheated. My exwife forgave me but things were never the same after that. It's just not worth it.

I'm not going to go into detail on this, but suffice to say that when something is an emotional need... it can be very, very difficult to resist. Building muscle makes me look better, and I have an emotional need to look good, so it's an easy and rewarding thing for me to do.

Everyone has different needs because our experiences are different. If it's easy for you to be faithful... because you got caught once and it ruined your marriage... then more power to you. Don't expect all men to be the same though.

 

[Days of Broken Arrows]

I submitted a guest article to the NYT, "What Wasting 50k in a Weekend on Hookers and Blow in Cancún Taught Me About Wasting 50k in a Weekend on Hookers and Blow in Cancún", but they haven't responded to me yet.

I'm sure they're just busy and will be getting back to me soon.

No, they'd never publish an article from a straight man about "hookers and blow." But you'd get published in a second if you wrote one called "I'm a straight guy but I enjoy giving blow jobs to my friends."

The mainstream media is all about upending "white male Christian norms." Once you realize that's their focus, it makes sense why they publish what they do.

This week The New Yorker is decrying the opening of a Chick-Fil-A in New York City. They called it "creepy" in their headline (cache link here). One sentence from the article reads: "And yet the brand's arrival here feels like an infiltration, in no small part because of its pervasive Christian traditionalism."

People on Twitter are asking if the same goes for Jews who want to open delis in Utah or Muslims who want to run falafel joints in Boston. Aren't they "infiltrating?"

As I said, the media is against anything having to do with traditionalism. It's easy to get published so long as you're trashing gender norms, marriage norms, Christian norms, etc.

I would also guess that writers play this up to get published. Confession: When I was writing, I did this a few times for mainstream outlets that paid big freelance bucks. I didn't lie; I just played up one element of my persona that fit their frame. I can't be the only one.