Older Guys (40+)

LoveBug

Kingfisher
@zep - I feel you on your loneliness, but it’s not a healthy place to start a relationship IMO. You could get involved with the wrong woman. Is the loneliness something that can’t be cured with engaging in other social activities, or do you need someone to wake up with?
 

Zep

Kingfisher
LoveBug said:
@zep - I feel you on your loneliness, but it’s not a healthy place to start a relationship IMO. You could get involved with the wrong woman. Is the loneliness something that can’t be cured with engaging in other social activities, or do you need someone to wake up with?

Thanks for the feedback Lovebug and buja.

I've been thinking about this a lot.

I'm pretty touch-starved, I'll put it that way. I don't think I need to wake up with someone, but I am craving some physical contact. Yea, it's not fair to settle, but sometimes you just might have to. Look at the females spoken about in here who are 5's who have a list of attributes they expect from a man, they're out of touch with reality, maybe I am too.

I need to think on this some more, I'm very tired at the moment.
 

Hypno

Crow
Everyone has a need to be desired.

Some guys find release through prostitures,

A healthier avenue is service. Make an inventory of your skills, experience, and gifts then contemplate how to best use them to serve others. If you find the right outlet, you will be rewarded psychically more than you can imagine. There can also be practical benefits like relationships, a bigger network, and practical benefit that come from those.

A tiny example. Tucker Max would volunteer at the Humane Society to meet women. The profound benefit is when your worldview is altered and you see things from a new perspective. But that doesn’t usually come from serving at the humane society but rather at the place that best appreciates your unique gifts.
 

kel

Pelican
Settle for what?

Settle for a bitter, miserable "I want to speak to the manager" feminist just to get some touch? No, never.

Settle for a homlier woman than you used to b*ng, but who's values match your own and who would be a good companion and mother? Yes.
 

C-Note

Ostrich
Gold Member
Hypno said:
Everyone has a need to be desired.

Some guys find release through prostitures,

A healthier avenue is service. Make an inventory of your skills, experience, and gifts then contemplate how to best use them to serve others. If you find the right outlet, you will be rewarded psychically more than you can imagine. There can also be practical benefits like relationships, a bigger network, and practical benefit that come from those.

A tiny example. Tucker Max would volunteer at the Humane Society to meet women. The profound benefit is when your worldview is altered and you see things from a new perspective. But that doesn’t usually come from serving at the humane society but rather at the place that best appreciates your unique gifts.

Why would you need to settle? There are tons of attractive women with good personalities out there that you will rarely see at a bar, nightclub, or at your office. As Hypno says, you can meet them by volunteering at a service organization- church, civic, charity, etc. Or, change up your schedule. You'd be amazed at the women you'll find at the gym (once the gyms reopen) at 7 or 8 a.m. on a Sunday morning. It might take a year or two, and I know that seems like a long time when you're lonely, but it will happen and you'll be glad you didn't settle.
 

LoveBug

Kingfisher
It’s an art form to grow to appreciate women your own age, though

It’s something I myself struggle. I’m 41, and still have problems with ~30 year old women, hence why I perpetually stay in Latin America

I’m guessing it’s about cultivating the desire/appreciation for intimacy, feminine presence, personal chemistry over sheer looks. Reaching the deeper meaning of male/female relations. Imagine a girl you had a crush on in high school, would you still want to reach romantic heights with her if she kept herself in solid condition?

It’s an art form to appreciate women your own age, but I think it can be done. And your right, life is much easier if you can on the dating scene
 

Hypno

Crow
My point on service is not to use service to find a woman. Rather use it to find satisfaction. Once you have more satisfaction and a healthier attitude, the easier it will be to attract people in your life.
 

Blade Runner

Kingfisher
LoveBug said:
It’s an art form to grow to appreciate women your own age, though

It’s something I myself struggle. I’m 41, and still have problems with ~30 year old women, hence why I perpetually stay in Latin America

I’m guessing it’s about cultivating the desire/appreciation for intimacy, feminine presence, personal chemistry over sheer looks. Reaching the deeper meaning of male/female relations. Imagine a girl you had a crush on in high school, would you still want to reach romantic heights with her if she kept herself in solid condition?

It’s an art form to appreciate women your own age, but I think it can be done. And your right, life is much easier if you can on the dating scene

It's all relative to your (and one must be honest about this) qualities and what you bring to the table. I hate to be this blunt, but since women bring so little to the table, when you forego the youth part of the equation, you essentially settle for a nothing burger™ these days, at least in America. I frankly see so few women at any age appreciate men --- haven't really seen it since the 1980s or early 90s.
 
It's all relative to your (and one must be honest about this) qualities and what you bring to the table. I hate to be this blunt, but since women bring so little to the table, when you forego the youth part of the equation, you essentially settle for a nothing burger™ these days, at least in America. I frankly see so few women at any age appreciate men --- haven't really seen it since the 1980s or early 90s.

i think that’s true for American women. For women from poor European countries and Southern Africa I find they let men take a leadership role and really don’t have the entitled attitude. Now if they immigrate to the USA, that’s another matter entirely within two years.
 

Zep

Kingfisher
Well, this just happened.

On my way to work, see a girl doing yoga on the lawn, get closer and notice she's thin and cute and has no tattoos! She gives me a quick nod, I give her one back and continue into the building. Damn, she was cute. Go to open my office window and there she is in my line of sight. I have to do something or else I'm lame. Walk back outside and get her attention and say "yea but can you do this?" and go into a yoga pose. She says yes and then copies what I did. I say " good job" and start walking away. As I'm going she asks what my name is, I tell her and she gives me hers.

Meh, maybe I stand a chance with a cute girl after all. : )
 

Zep

Kingfisher
^ This may seem sad to some, but after 50, shoot, you start learning to embrace resignation with regards to attractive women. "Theres no fool like an old fool" runs through my mind too often these days, so little events like the one above brings slight relief.
 

Zep

Kingfisher
Invite yoga girl to your house to juice your vegetables or to share the good news with her. Everyone needs to make new friends

"Hey there, wanna ........ juice my vegetables?" *wink*

I'm going to be careful. There's no way she is single. She was a 7 with zero makeup. I saw her at her "worst" and she was cute. I even liked her name.

She did her job, gave me a couple hours of fantasy.
 

Blade Runner

Kingfisher
"Hey there, wanna ........ juice my vegetables?" *wink*

I'm going to be careful. There's no way she is single. She was a 7 with zero makeup. I saw her at her "worst" and she was cute. I even liked her name.

She did her job, gave me a couple hours of fantasy.

Amazingly, you're the only other person I've really heard say (or type) this, which has always been tremendously important to me. I've gone out with girls that I've enjoyed the company of, but deep down I always said to myself, "I can't be with someone with that name." I know that sounds funny, but I'm dead serious. And I know where it comes from - funny how much impact your parents can have on you.
 

Hypno

Crow
Lol I met a girl. Armed Gina once. I told her that she didn’t look like a Gina. She didn’t, but that’s not the point. I don’t know if you would consider it a neg, but man that comment was powerful
 

Blade Runner

Kingfisher
Lol I met a girl. Armed Gina once. I told her that she didn’t look like a Gina. She didn’t, but that’s not the point. I don’t know if you would consider it a neg, but man that comment was powerful

This sounds funny but I'm not sure I understand it, either due to backstory, punctuation, or perhaps pronunciation?
 

Hypno

Crow
This sounds funny but I'm not sure I understand it, either due to backstory, punctuation, or perhaps pronunciation?

Should have read, "I met a girl named Gina once. . . "

If a girl tells you her name, whatever it is, for example Jennifer, tell her she doesn't look like a Jennifer. If you have a strong frame when you do it, it will drive her crazy (in a good way).
 
Top