Older Guys (40+)

ZAMSKI

Robin
This only seems to benefit the younger, alpha men. You'd think that in these screwed-up times, the younger woman would be open to dating an older man who has his stuff together. But from my experience, a 30-something beta boy who still lives at home with his parents has more appeal to them than an over 40 alpha man.

I'm glad that there are still guys on this forum who are keeping it real. In the west, what you wrote is very true. I'm not a 40+ guy. I'm 34 and mid 20s girls are giving me a hard time thanks to the age gap. I'll do my best to keep in shape and look great into my 40s but if I find myself single still, doing a permanent move to foreign lands is probably the only option I got to give myself to have the best chance. For western girls in late 20s and even early 30s, when your age begins with a 4 it gets the "errrrr...." reaction more often than not. Gotta stay realistic.
 

soli.deo.gloria

Woodpecker
Orthodox Inquirer
Gold Member
I'm surprised that some of you are encountering this because I'm noticing the complete opposite. In my experience, being in shape, having a calm, relaxed, confident demeanor, dressing in nice clothes (or at least clothes that fit well), and showing some peppery gray in your hair gets a lot of positive attention from both women and men. I'm not trying to game women (at least, not beyond casual interaction), but I will still strike up conversations with women, and men, of all ages, just for the fun of the social interaction, to keep up my social skills, and obtain information, and I almost always get a favorable reception. I've found that one of the most fun aspects of getting older (I'm in my 50s) is how much easier and pleasant it is to interact with both males and females.
I'm also finding it easier, it's just that I've found it difficult to meet the right people. I can't interact with an empty chair. :)

That being said, I have finally met someone and things are getting extremely serious (in a good way). I am not yet prepared to go into details but I believe God has explicitly answered many of my prayers (and hers).

I want to encourage anyone who is struggling like I was and sees this message don't give up because you can be happy beyond your wildest dreams. Keep God as your main focus, rely on and ask Him for help, and above all believe it will happen.

Take care & God bless.
 

zeroshame

 
Banned
Orthodox
I'm glad that there are still guys on this forum who are keeping it real. In the west, what you wrote is very true. I'm not a 40+ guy. I'm 34 and mid 20s girls are giving me a hard time thanks to the age gap. I'll do my best to keep in shape and look great into my 40s but if I find myself single still, doing a permanent move to foreign lands is probably the only option I got to give myself to have the best chance. For western girls in late 20s and even early 30s, when your age begins with a 4 it gets the "errrrr...." reaction more often than not. Gotta stay realistic.

Many men seem to forget that the way our society has treated the idea of older men with under-18 women was different. Truth is, back before 1990 or so, a 20+ man having sex with a girl 15–17 was considered so commonplace, that in most larger cities in America it just wasn’t a big deal. Discussion of it was the stuff off jokes and wink-wink comments among men. The laws weren’t nearly as strict today, the penalties weren’t as harsh, the stigma wasn’t as bad, and the enforcement wasn’t a priority.

In the state of California, it was not that uncommon for senior high school girls to be dating first or second year college guys. Or, for a middle-aged college professor to be dating and mentoring a younger graduate attendee. My uncle remembers seeing his professors socially in the company of his contemporary female college students and not thinking that anything was out of sorts.
 

ZAMSKI

Robin
Many men seem to forget that the way our society has treated the idea of older men with under-18 women was different. Truth is, back before 1990 or so, a 20+ man having sex with a girl 15–17 was considered so commonplace, that in most larger cities in America it just wasn’t a big deal. Discussion of it was the stuff off jokes and wink-wink comments among men. The laws weren’t nearly as strict today, the penalties weren’t as harsh, the stigma wasn’t as bad, and the enforcement wasn’t a priority.

In the state of California, it was not that uncommon for senior high school girls to be dating first or second year college guys. Or, for a middle-aged college professor to be dating and mentoring a younger graduate attendee. My uncle remembers seeing his professors socially in the company of his contemporary female college students and not thinking that anything was out of sorts.

But so what?! This isn't the reality now. This info doesn't help me at all in the present. And it is fast becoming 2022 and something tells me it is gonna get worse. It's already bad enough for young Gen Z guys...can't imagine how much worse it is gonna be for the 40+ crowd. Like I said, gotta stay realistic and be prepared to do what it takes.
 

zeroshame

 
Banned
Orthodox
But so what?! This isn't the reality now. This info doesn't help me at all in the present. And it is fast becoming 2022 and something tells me it is gonna get worse. It's already bad enough for young Gen Z guys...can't imagine how much worse it is gonna be for the 40+ crowd. Like I said, gotta stay realistic and be prepared to do what it takes.
This age shaming happens more often in America, in Europe nobody calls you a pedo for a 5-6 years difference.

Back when I briefly lived and worked in UK in 2018, some of the age gaps around me would be considered insane by US standards, but they barely even registered there. Even I once banged a 18 year old at like 27 and nobody thought it was 'weird', really.
 
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