Online dating in 2007 vs now: what happened?
- Thread starter Oscar Henri
- Start date
I can say that I was a frequent user of OKCupid from 2008-2013 or so - I refused to pay for online dating. I decided to put dating on the back burner in 2014 and haven't been nearly as adamant about it since then.
I did get a lot of dates on there - sometimes two a week. With significant effort, though, and I had to send out dozens of messages at a time until I got a few prospects. The vast majority went OK - as in I called them "pleasant flatlines". We had a nice conversation, but halfway through the date it was pretty obvious that one of us wasn't feeling it (usually her, sometimes me) and we never saw each other again.
I had some good dates that turned into something brief (as in maybe we had a handful of dates before it petered out). I had some good dates that sort of turned into relationships, but we never became official. I also had a handful of nightmare dates.
The common theme here, though, is that it was almost always a waste of time with unserious people, and usually stressed me out. This was pre-Tinder, though - I can't imagine how much worse it is now, and really don't miss it. I'll have to really make myself get into the correct headspace to start making courting women a priority again...sometimes I doubt I ever will.
I did get a lot of dates on there - sometimes two a week. With significant effort, though, and I had to send out dozens of messages at a time until I got a few prospects. The vast majority went OK - as in I called them "pleasant flatlines". We had a nice conversation, but halfway through the date it was pretty obvious that one of us wasn't feeling it (usually her, sometimes me) and we never saw each other again.
I had some good dates that turned into something brief (as in maybe we had a handful of dates before it petered out). I had some good dates that sort of turned into relationships, but we never became official. I also had a handful of nightmare dates.
The common theme here, though, is that it was almost always a waste of time with unserious people, and usually stressed me out. This was pre-Tinder, though - I can't imagine how much worse it is now, and really don't miss it. I'll have to really make myself get into the correct headspace to start making courting women a priority again...sometimes I doubt I ever will.
I was a lot less socially adept at the beginning of college (while I was in better shape physically, women sensed that I was a little too excited to date and that never helped me). That said, I was still *really* good at striking up conversations based on a profile and talking them into getting coffee with me. Usually the dates would fail, but enough wouldn't.
Now - it's all pictures. I'd be swiping for a few weeks straight. No thank you.
westernman
Robin
I think women must just be numb to online attention.
When I meet a girl in person, she is typically very interested in me. Much more initiation on her part.
Compare this to online, and you hardly even get noticed. And to be clear, I am not some 6/10 guy... I have an elite physique and a handsome face. Online I feel like I am some out-of-shape loser, Jumping through stupid hoops before the interaction ultimately fizzles out.
When I meet a girl in person, she is typically very interested in me. Much more initiation on her part.
Compare this to online, and you hardly even get noticed. And to be clear, I am not some 6/10 guy... I have an elite physique and a handsome face. Online I feel like I am some out-of-shape loser, Jumping through stupid hoops before the interaction ultimately fizzles out.
I once went on a first date, she didn’t interest me much, but she initiated a second date that I showed up to...had nothing better to do and she was making me dinner. Second one went badly as well and she then sent me a text telling me she wasn’t interested.
I never got that when dating someone I met in a lecture or at work.
Someone pointed out before that these apps are made for women. There are 1000s of magazines for "men" full of women in various stages of undress. But there are one or two for women, that are mostly bought by homosexualists.
A lot of it is due to the nature of the program. Everything about Tinder, Badoo et. al. is geared towards the short-term and superficial. Even this bubble speech format induces basic conversations. Same with WhatsApp. They attract a certain type. Book worms and latent conservative women are not likely to be on them and soon to be disgusted.
Then, when you have a never-ending stream of messages it is hard for a woman to keep focus.
If you have a profile, duty calls.
Seeker79
Kingfisher
Imagine being an average American woman in 2022. By the time you are serious about relationship and marriage you are at least 27 but most likely 30 years old. All your 20s was spent building PowerPoints for 60k for a corporation or slaving away in a dead end hourly wage job despite having a college degree with the debt to prove it.
You are most likely fat with BMI above 25. Average American woman is 5’5” at 180 lbs, you are probably within one standard deviation from this.
You probably binge drink on weekends and use wine on weeknights to cope with your job and life stress. You probably do not work out and do not know how to cook. You are probably accumulating toxins that are destroying your liver, kidney, and skin with processed foods. Emotional eating is your coping mechanism.
You have a jaded and cynical perspective on people. You see men as objects (only hot studs with six figures, six pack, and above six feet for me!) or target successful beta men to underwrite your life. You see other women with hatred/jealousy or pity. You have dozens of girlfriends but you all hate each other as you either channel contempt towards your friends with families/children or hate the self-reflection you get from seeing your bitter single friends complain about insane things at weekly boozy brunches.
You have no God and Jesus in your life. Your sense of morality is derived from TikTok, Twitter, and Snapchat.
And I wonder why online-dating doesn’t work in 2022?
You are most likely fat with BMI above 25. Average American woman is 5’5” at 180 lbs, you are probably within one standard deviation from this.
You probably binge drink on weekends and use wine on weeknights to cope with your job and life stress. You probably do not work out and do not know how to cook. You are probably accumulating toxins that are destroying your liver, kidney, and skin with processed foods. Emotional eating is your coping mechanism.
You have a jaded and cynical perspective on people. You see men as objects (only hot studs with six figures, six pack, and above six feet for me!) or target successful beta men to underwrite your life. You see other women with hatred/jealousy or pity. You have dozens of girlfriends but you all hate each other as you either channel contempt towards your friends with families/children or hate the self-reflection you get from seeing your bitter single friends complain about insane things at weekly boozy brunches.
You have no God and Jesus in your life. Your sense of morality is derived from TikTok, Twitter, and Snapchat.
And I wonder why online-dating doesn’t work in 2022?
it doesn't work because too many men will have sex with almost any woman, which then inflates woman's self-worth
also, women are clueless when it comes to discerning men's intentions.
Too many men make themselves into victims, but it's a two-way street, men allow bad behvaiour in women and vice versa
Mostly, like a lot of other modern things, they want to believe the lie. Critical thinking and self awareness protect against this, but they elevate truth, reality and acceptance of life as result, and thus people don't want to engage in them. That a man 2 points higher or more wants to remain with them is a dream, the quick ego gratification or validation that is the lynchpin of the bad short term decision making seems to be on the basis of a drama and storytelling of what could have been but (if they were honest) wasn't really ever possible.
180 lbs at 5' 5"? Please tell me you're joking.
The number of women between 150-180 at or around that height is very common, sadly.
The average White Woman in the USA is 5'4" 171 lbs. The Average African American woman is 5'4" 185 lbs. IIRC (couldn't find it) the average Asian woman is 5'2" 130 lbs.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_body_weight
You would think at these weights, the American women would have the best personalities in the world to compensate for the excess weight. Sadly, this doesn't seem to be the case on average.
This is quite cynical, but sadly this might be very realistic as well (especially in big cities). Every woman should read this post and reflect on it and a similar post could be adjusted to fit men as well because both are failing and some reasons are the same and some are a bit different.
As many here point out, I think women are affected more by these issues then men after age 30-35. A average man that never marries or has children will likely feel regret at some point, but he can likely cope mentally better with it than a women in the same situation.
Smart phones happened and allowed women to constantly get thousands of messages on the fly and constantly hounded by men. Before it was much less flooded.
Serious question: what is up with women just firebombing things out of nowhere? I've been seeing this girl for a couple of weeks. She was pretty nice, attentive, polite, helped me with laundry and cleaning.
We had a minor disagreement, she insulted me to my face, I told her that what she said was rude and she tried to change subject. I made her apologize, she did and then immediately used the same insult again. I told her not to talk to me like that and she perked up for five seconds and then went stone silent and pouted for thirty minutes (we were in public). I drove her back to my place and bid her farewell.
Like literally what is up with this? Not the first time this type of thing has happened to me (inb4 hold frame by ignoring female verbal abuse)
We had a minor disagreement, she insulted me to my face, I told her that what she said was rude and she tried to change subject. I made her apologize, she did and then immediately used the same insult again. I told her not to talk to me like that and she perked up for five seconds and then went stone silent and pouted for thirty minutes (we were in public). I drove her back to my place and bid her farewell.
Like literally what is up with this? Not the first time this type of thing has happened to me (inb4 hold frame by ignoring female verbal abuse)
This may ruffle some feathers. As someone who used to partake, I must say if you participate in online dating in any form, you're feeding the beast system. Yes, even the "Christian" ones.
The only solution is for men to drop out. "Dating" is a modern globohomo term and we all know what it really means. You should be courting a potential wife, not "dating".
Are you going to find a wife on hinge or bumble? Are you going to find a wife the same way you browse used car listings? Women who are wife material are just as put off by the modern dating scene as men are.
Good men and women need to drop out and go back to their local communities to find each other.
The only solution is for men to drop out. "Dating" is a modern globohomo term and we all know what it really means. You should be courting a potential wife, not "dating".
Are you going to find a wife on hinge or bumble? Are you going to find a wife the same way you browse used car listings? Women who are wife material are just as put off by the modern dating scene as men are.
Good men and women need to drop out and go back to their local communities to find each other.