Online dating in 2007 vs now: what happened?

[Coja Petrus Uscan]

Easy such a scenario exists. Save up some money pack your bags and go to another country. Hit up the streets of Colombia, Mexico, Serbia, etc and find a nice 20 year old Christian girl to marry. That is far more appealing then settling for a 28 year old western woman. When getting married convenience should not be your priority. You think should just be able to sit in front of a computer screen and find the perfect wife?

Mentioned this a few times here before. I have a house in Serbia, very rural. One year I come back and find I have new neighbours. They bought the house for 4,000 EUR, to give an idea of the area. First sight I had of them, I was a bit worried as the guy looked like a pikee (English gypsy). But later on they invite me around. Soon find they are some manner of Orthodox and they ask me to bring my Orthodox woodcarving around. The guy shows me photos of many similar, but smaller carvings he has made. Would never image such a guy from England to even know who God is. I was very relaxed and at home with them.

They had a daughter, who I think was 15. She was curious about me and spent a lot of time just staring at me and sometimes asking small questions. Completely different spirit from any girl you'd ever likely meet unless you've been around such villages. All of what has been discussed as the problems of modern women and more that you'd struggle to put your finger on was not present. Everything is different. The level at you want to interact with them is different. You want to get to know them, not as a sex object, but as an actual woman (as opposed to whatever modern women are). Calm, placid and serene.

If you want to get to know such women you're going to have to learn another language and then go to villages. It's not going to be that feasible to do as some foreigner who has taken a quick course. I have had a GF who I had to speak to via a translator and although it works, it is difficult. Especially if that language is very difficult.

I think the easiest option is to learn Spanish and then go to somewhere like Paraguay, or maybe Southern Brazil (Portuguese), given those are areas with women with a Euro-apperance.

 

[TheosisSeeker]

Now you too can have an FBI agent as your long distance girlfriend

I can see the fed ahem 'her' message now...

"Babe, I so really want to protest in front of the fed building, babe pleaseee let's go this weekend! We protect the 2nd amendment to protect the 1st!! Babe come on!!"

 

[TrainedLogosmotion]

I think it's worth mentioning here if anyone is thinking about opting for marrying a traditional foreign lady, let's say going to her home country boots on the ground and courting her, and then perhaps bringing her back to your home country, that her strong family values will be quite the obstacle because she won't want to leave them. I speak from experience here.

Now, of course you could plan on frequent visits with her back to her home country, or if you have enough money and resources, moving key family members here with her and supporting the whole endeavor. I should also add, at least for the US, the marriage visa is no easy process and that alone is pretty expensive. I can't remember the exact details.

I'm now actually more keen on the idea of marrying someone who lives in my home country, the US, that is 'green'. For instance, a girl that just recently immigrated here along with her Orthodox family who has been here less than a year.

It's much more feasible the other way around I think, that is, the man immigrating to her country. But like others have said, language is paramount.

 

[Zagor]

I’m from Eastern European country and due to nature of my job I’m often in contact with 20 year old girls and I can tell you that settling down is not on their minds. They’re shallow, materialistic, self absorbed and vacuous. Some of the excuses I hear are - After I finish college, after I get a good job, after my party years, after I do some travelling, in my thirties and so on…the virus of feminism has spread here as well. You might have some luck in the countryside where people are more conservative, but as I guy on the ground who is seeking the same thing (feminine religious and conservative young women) I can tell you it’s no easy task. Young attractive women are on top of the social hierarchy in the modern society and through various social media they’re addicted to the message that the world is their oyster is constantly reinforced. It makes them hesitant to settle down due to the FOMO. On general they might be more feminine then western harpies, but as I said, settling down is not their priority.

 

[C-Note]

But then what to do to support her once I arrive there? Unless her Father owns a farm and desperately needs a successor, I don't know what I would do. I'm not saying I don't think it could work, I just don't have any ideas there.

I've explained before in this thread that in the American suburb I live, there are tons of married women who seem to be dedicated to their families and many of them are even housewives. And, I live in a majority Democratic area (60-40 ratio). Sure, many of them probably didn't get married until their late 20s and some of them have a few tattoos, but most of the ones I see seem to be making a genuine effort to be family-oriented. I see them out with their husbands and kids at the park, the stores, and various other venues all the time. My wife and I go out together to bars and restaurants-that-turn-into-bars-on-weekends on occasion and I don't see a lot of 30-something women out trying to slut it up, at least in my area.

As I've explained before, if you live in the US and cultivate the right kind of social circle, via church, charity, fitness, or something similar, you can find a family-oriented wife. Yes, they might, unfortunately, be a little older and might have a little more mileage on them than some other cultures, but I don't think you have to move to another country to find a wife. I'm not saying, however, that that isn't a legitimate option. I lived for 12 years in Japan and married a native, and we're still married. But, speaking from my own observations, I don't think you should completely rule out finding someone from your own country and culture to get married to. There are pros and cons to either course of action.

 

[Easy_C]

I've had the best results on catholicmatch. Perhaps there is an orthodox version. Most of my matches/messages have been with late 20s women, but seeing as how I'm around 30, not outrageous. I think holding out for a 20 year old based woman is foolish. If it happens, it happens, but I can't imagine a scenario where such a woman would exist.

CatholicMatch got me an astoundingly good woman. The trick is to make sure you're filtering for users who agree with the church's teachings on contraception and fornication.

 

[Blade Runner]

I'm now actually more keen on the idea of marrying someone who lives in my home country, the US, that is 'green'. For instance, a girl that just recently immigrated here along with her Orthodox family who has been here less than a year.

It's much more feasible the other way around I think, that is, the man immigrating to her country. But like others have said, language is paramount.

I agree, but as I've said, that's also called winning the lotto. And she's in the west now, so you never know.

 

[Blade Runner]

I've explained before in this thread that in the American suburb I live, there are tons of married women who seem to be dedicated to their families and many of them are even housewives. And, I live in a majority Democratic area (60-40 ratio). Sure, many of them probably didn't get married until their late 20s and some of them have a few tattoos, but most of the ones I see seem to be making a genuine effort to be family-oriented. I see them out with their husbands and kids at the park, the stores, and various other venues all the time. My wife and I go out together to bars and restaurants-that-turn-into-bars-on-weekends on occasion and I don't see a lot of 30-something women out trying to slut it up, at least in my area.

As I've explained before, if you live in the US and cultivate the right kind of social circle, via church, charity, fitness, or something similar, you can find a family-oriented wife. Yes, they might, unfortunately, be a little older and might have a little more mileage on them than some other cultures, but I don't think you have to move to another country to find a wife. I'm not saying, however, that that isn't a legitimate option. I lived for 12 years in Japan and married a native, and we're still married. But, speaking from my own observations, I don't think you should completely rule out finding someone from your own country and culture to get married to. There are pros and cons to either course of action.

This is balanced advice. I always find it amusing when already married people give it though. You can definitely find family oriented here or there, the issue is more can you find a woman who isn't so old that it immediately becomes a glaring issue how short the end of the stick your getting is. Women in the west at 32 are questionable in so many ways as is, it really is a hard sell to not be getting a woman in her 20s. Just saying. Feels are the only counter to this, which is why women object - but that's their problem, not mine.

 

[TheosisSeeker]

I had some dates from Catholic match that did not go the distance, but they were decent women. I also had a few phone calls with a woman far away who was attractive, but had some red flags, so I did not pursue.

I also encountered several (more than 3) women who were living with their mom with no father figure around, I was kind of suspicious, but I didn't ask for details.

My problem with that site is that for a Christian website it uses extremely deceptive business practices. Many users have to pay to read messages so you have no idea if your message got read, or if you're being ignored. I also suspect many fake users that boost engagement.

 

[Blade Runner]

I wonder if anyone got any nibbles or connections from foreign women who are orthodox on that orthodox and single site. One of the issues with the model was that it was pay to start, not that it was much, but it wasn't that big of a site to pay (I get it that you have to start somewhere), and it was quite clear that 85% were aging (32-45) women, who it probably was hard to find an orthodox man for in America. I recall that they had a donor who really helped things out and I did think that a small fee was reasonable to keep it less spammy, but I saw that they had spam accounts too (nearly all the good pictures of younger girls). The reason a site like a sugar one can work with keeping fees high is that the potential benefit for the risk is high. I think these realities are what make online, including the logistics, so difficult ...

 

[Australia Sucks]

Mentioned this a few times here before. I have a house in Serbia, very rural. One year I come back and find I have new neighbours. They bought the house for 4,000 EUR, to give an idea of the area. First sight I had of them, I was a bit worried as the guy looked like a pikee (English gypsy). But later on they invite me around. Soon find they are some manner of Orthodox and they ask me to bring my Orthodox woodcarving around. The guy shows me photos of many similar, but smaller carvings he has made. Would never image such a guy from England to even know who God is. I was very relaxed and at home with them.

They had a daughter, who I think was 15. She was curious about me and spent a lot of time just staring at me and sometimes asking small questions. Completely different spirit from any girl you'd ever likely meet unless you've been around such villages. All of what has been discussed as the problems of modern women and more that you'd struggle to put your finger on was not present. Everything is different. The level at you want to interact with them is different. You want to get to know them, not as a sex object, but as an actual woman (as opposed to whatever modern women are). Calm, placid and serene.

If you want to get to know such women you're going to have to learn another language and then go to villages. It's not going to be that feasible to do as some foreigner who has taken a quick course. I have had a GF who I had to speak to via a translator and although it works, it is difficult. Especially if that language is very difficult.

I think the easiest option is to learn Spanish and then go to somewhere like Paraguay, or maybe Southern Brazil (Portuguese), given those are areas with women with a Euro-apperance.

And I am sure in another 3 or 4 years time that curious and friendly 15 year old girl will blossom into a highly marriageable young woman.

 

[Australia Sucks]

I think it's worth mentioning here if anyone is thinking about opting for marrying a traditional foreign lady, let's say going to her home country boots on the ground and courting her, and then perhaps bringing her back to your home country, that her strong family values will be quite the obstacle because she won't want to leave them. I speak from experience here.

Now, of course you could plan on frequent visits with her back to her home country, or if you have enough money and resources, moving key family members here with her and supporting the whole endeavor. I should also add, at least for the US, the marriage visa is no easy process and that alone is pretty expensive. I can't remember the exact details.

I'm now actually more keen on the idea of marrying someone who lives in my home country, the US, that is 'green'. For instance, a girl that just recently immigrated here along with her Orthodox family who has been here less than a year.

It's much more feasible the other way around I think, that is, the man immigrating to her country. But like others have said, language is paramount.

Its already been established on the forum ad nauseum. You do not bring the girl back to the west. That is asking for trouble. You move to her country (or at least move her with you to a different non-western country).

To make the move financially viable you either do some form of online freelancing, teach English, etc. Or alternatively build up a nest egg of at least $300,000 USD (which is doable for an early 30s guy who has shit together) before you move to a foreign country so you can at least be semi-retired (if you live in a cheap city/town). Lets look for example what $300,000 USD can do for you.

If you are in a cheap country you can often find a small but comfortable house in a secondary city for under $100,000 USD (and obviously cheaper in small towns).

I have not been to Serbia so maybe Coja can weigh in here but for example I looked online and in Novi Sad (Serbia) (the second biggest city in Serbia) you can buy a small house 5km from the old town for under $100,000 USD. Get a bicycle and you are now a short distance from enjoying the old town whenever you want. (Not everybody is built for rural life).

So if for example you have $300,000 that would give you $200,000 left. You then for example invest the $200,000 in safe dividend paying aristocrat kind of stocks and get a 2.5% dividend yield which will hopefully grow over time (at least as fast as inflation) as well as you capital. 2.5% on $200,000 would give you $5000 USD in annual dividend income and since you own your own house you are not paying rent then the $5000 would cover a lot of your basic living expenses if you live frugally meaning a little bit of side hustling will make up the rest of the cash.

The side hustle can be anything from going back to your home (western country) to live with your parents (spending quality family time together) and work for say 6 - 9 months every 3 or 4 years to stack some cash, it can be tutoring English on the side, making stuff and selling it on the internet, doing walking tours or food tours of the city for English speaking tourists, etc. And obviously if you live in a small town instead of a city like Novi Sad buying a house and everything else would be even cheaper.

Novi Sad was just an example the same kind of dynamics apply in many of the cheaper countries where you can buy a house in a secondary city for under $100,000 USD. It is even possible in some beach cities if you are more of a beach kind of person.

I can say as someone in the 30 - 35 age bracket who has considerably more than $300,000 USD net worth its achievable by anyone who is willing to live frugal and work hard, has the opportunity to live with parents (admittedly not everybody) and take some risks and invest. I always had low paying entry level jobs (I have no qualifications) and often worked 2 jobs to save more money and invested my money reasonably well. I am not that smart so a lot of people can do what I did.

To summarize again the key steps for me were:
-Work hard (often 2 jobs)
-Live with parents (I was lucky enough not to have to pay board). I realize it is not an option for everyone though but most good parents will support their kids doing this if they see their kids are being wise and using the opportunity to stack cash and build themselves up.
-Be frugal and save as much as possible until you are more established.
-Teach yourself about investing and invest your money wisely (and take some risks).
These are things that most (but not all) people living in a western country can do.

Once you have done all the above (hopefully before 35) move to a based country (I am slowly transitioning towards this now), learn the language and meet a good local girl and live a low stress life.

I think guys who want to get married too early before they have life experience and before they are financially stable are rushing things and making a mistake. Also getting married in the west (even to a non-western girl) is a mistake. You got to have patience and be willing to put in the work and have long term plans. Just getting married young and in a hurry because you are lonely is a bad move.

And please if you are looking for marriage put your boots on the ground in a good location and stay away from online dating. Sure occasionally guys hit the jackpot with online dating but its sub-optimal and a long shot.

And a man who has his shit together (financial, health/fitness, foreign language ability, etc) and is in the 30 - 40 age range and does all the above that I recommended should only be considering for marriage non-western virgin women 23 or younger (that is as old as I would go. 18 is preferable). What would be the point of going though all the hardship to build yourself up as a man only to marry a low quality woman. That would be wasted effort. If you bring a lot of value to the table then the woman needs to bring things to the table also (e.g. youth/fertility, good attitude, cooking ability, virginity, etc)

The problem I see and not just on this forum is guys just want the quick and easy solution. They don't want to put in the hard yards and years of work.

 

[TrainedLogosmotion]

Its already been established on the forum ad nauseum. You do not bring the girl back to the west. That is asking for trouble. You move to her country (or at least move her with you to a different non-western country).

To make the move financially viable you either do some form of online freelancing, teach English, etc. Or alternatively build up a nest egg of at least $300,000 USD (which is doable for an early 30s guy who has shit together) before you move to a foreign country so you can at least be semi-retired (if you live in a cheap city/town). Lets look for example what $300,000 USD can do for you.

If you are in a cheap country you can often find a small but comfortable house in a secondary city for under $100,000 USD (and obviously cheaper in small towns).

I have not been to Serbia so maybe Coja can weigh in here but for example I looked online and in Novi Sad (Serbia) (the second biggest city in Serbia) you can buy a small house 5km from the old town for under $100,000 USD. Get a bicycle and you are now a short distance from enjoying the old town whenever you want. (Not everybody is built for rural life).

So if for example you have $300,000 that would give you $200,000 left. You then for example invest the $200,000 in safe dividend paying aristocrat kind of stocks and get a 2.5% dividend yield which will hopefully grow over time (at least as fast as inflation) as well as you capital. 2.5% on $200,000 would give you $5000 USD in annual dividend income and since you own your own house you are not paying rent then the $5000 would cover a lot of your basic living expenses if you live frugally meaning a little bit of side hustling will make up the rest of the cash.

The side hustle can be anything from going back to your home (western country) to live with your parents (spending quality family time together) and work for say 6 - 9 months every 3 or 4 years to stack some cash, it can be tutoring English on the side, making stuff and selling it on the internet, doing walking tours or food tours of the city for English speaking tourists, etc. And obviously if you live in a small town instead of a city like Novi Sad buying a house and everything else would be even cheaper.

Novi Sad was just an example the same kind of dynamics apply in many of the cheaper countries where you can buy a house in a secondary city for under $100,000 USD. It is even possible in some beach cities if you are more of a beach kind of person.

I can say as someone in the 30 - 35 age bracket who has considerably more than $300,000 USD net worth its achievable by anyone who is willing to live frugal and work hard, has the opportunity to live with parents (admittedly not everybody) and take some risks and invest. I always had low paying entry level jobs (I have no qualifications) and often worked 2 jobs to save more money and invested my money reasonably well. I am not that smart so a lot of people can do what I did.

To summarize again the key steps for me were:
-Work hard (often 2 jobs)
-Live with parents (I was lucky enough not to have to pay board). I realize it is not an option for everyone though but most good parents will support their kids doing this if they see their kids are being wise and using the opportunity to stack cash and build themselves up.
-Be frugal and save as much as possible until you are more established.
-Teach yourself about investing and invest your money wisely (and take some risks).
These are things that most (but not all) people living in a western country can do.

Once you have done all the above (hopefully before 35) move to a based country (I am slowly transitioning towards this now), learn the language and meet a good local girl and live a low stress life.

I think guys who want to get married too early before they have life experience and before they are financially stable are rushing things and making a mistake. Also getting married in the west (even to a non-western girl) is a mistake. You got to have patience and be willing to put in the work and have long term plans. Just getting married young and in a hurry because you are lonely is a bad move.

And please if you are looking for marriage put your boots on the ground in a good location and stay away from online dating. Sure occasionally guys hit the jackpot with online dating but its sub-optimal and a long shot.

And a man who has his shit together (financial, health/fitness, foreign language ability, etc) and is in the 30 - 40 age range and does all the above that I recommended should only be considering for marriage non-western virgin women 23 or younger (that is as old as I would go. 18 is preferable). What would be the point of going though all the hardship to build yourself up as a man only to marry a low quality woman. That would be wasted effort. If you bring a lot of value to the table then the woman needs to bring things to the table also (e.g. youth/fertility, good attitude, cooking ability, virginity, etc)

The problem I see and not just on this forum is guys just want the quick and easy solution. They don't want to put in the hard yards and years of work.

I totally agree with your advice here. I should clarify what I meant by my experience to give you a better idea of my specific situation and how my angle, which may be shared with others here, has me on a different path at the moment.

I'm 34. I lived abroad for 8 years before moving back to the US last year. Taught English at an international school in Thailand for 5 years and learned Thai language, the final 3 I spent working remotely, started off teaching English online then got into higher paying work with online marketing. I stayed in almost every country in SEA for at least 3 months, then Mexico for 6.

Like another user said, there are pros and cons. The Thai girl I was intending on marrying was an absolute dimepiece. 18 when I met her. Spoke zero English, grew up on a farm in a rural city, farmer parents/family, traditional and Buddhist, never dated a foreigner before, etc. She wasn't a virgin but she had only one lover before me who was a Thai guy. Even with her checking so many boxes, she still had tv/phone/computer/internet/social media, and that phenomenon contributed to more and more problems over the years of dating her.

I also blame myself though because I was living a life of sin and debauchery and wasn't being faithful to her. I contributed to the failure of our relationship also. Towards the end of it, she had already moved away from her family to live in Bangkok to go to college. She had become further brainwashed. Her English became very good. Now she is extremely career focused and has married someone else in some sort of long distance fashion while she 'focuses on her career', but while married she was still messaging me adulterous messages. I ended up wishing her the best and blocking her.

Currently, I have a job that is impossible to do remotely. It's boots on the ground opportunist blue collar type work but it's the highest paying job I've ever had with potential to make much more down the line and take over the business. That's already been offered to me. It's the best chance I have financially of buying a home and supporting a wife and children.

So 1) I've already done what you've said, and I defintiely recommend that to others, so I don't wany you guys to take this as me being combative AT ALL, however at this point I've become refocused on the pros of my current situation and living in my home country, because while you've highlighted the pros, there are certainly cons in the realm of what you layed out that did start to grow on me personally that I'm sure many of us are already aware of, and

2) I'm now working stateside stacking cash. I'm doing the frugal thing and saving everything I can living like a monk. I would have to take a huge pay cut if I tried the abroad thing all over again. I'm not sure I want to work abroad again, at least at this current time, even if it's remotely. But it's not out of the question by any means. I see the value. I've just never given what I'm trying now a fair shot.

3) While I can relate to the sentiment of it being harder to find the type of wife we want here, I also think it's going to be a battle anywhere we go. So while it may be difficult, I want to take a shot at meeting someone here. And by someone I mean a girl that has these potential characteristics:

- Is willing to or currently living in a rural, red, conservative, 'based' part of the states with me, which is where I already am
- Is a Christian or preferably an Orthodox Christian from a tradional family
- Is 'green', let's say lived here less than a year, immigrated here WITH her family. Bonus points if they have their own business
- Is of a fertile age of ~20-25 and wants to have children. Bonus points if she has a job working with children
- Is introverted and 'nerdy' and has been somewhat sheltered from clown world

That's not a perfect blueprint. And I'm willing to call this a pipe dream. I'm also perfectly happy for you guys to poke holes in this, but I don't intend to have an argument. If I have to 'settle' for someone who isn't fulfilling all of my standards, then I may have to do that. I may have to struggle a bit. I wasn't the most perfect person all through my 20s and I am working hard to correct that so I can be more deserving of the type of female I desire.

She might want to live in a big city. She might be Islamic. She might have lived here longer than a year. Maybe she isn't a virgin or she was also broken like I was and is trying to better herself and we can connect in that way. This wasn't the only time I tried this either. I had a girl in the Philippines that checked almost all the same boxes as the Thai girl I was with. She did NOT want to leave her family in the Philippines, and I did NOT want to stay on the tiny deserted island forever. I also like being close to my own family here, as broken and 'woke' as some of them are, I'd like to at least be here for them by becoming a better example that they can look up to.

It's still on the table for me in the future to use my teaching license and start this process over again in a more 'based' country than the ones I stayed in. I'm defintely not knocking that or saying my way is better. Just highlighting that personal circumstances can have us taking different approaches. If I can't make it work here, eventually I think I will forego taking over the company and saving as much as possible like you said, become semi-retired, and live off my investments in a new foreign land, and maybe teach in an international school again in a different position.

 

[SeaEagle]

I met a woman online who is 29. Im only a few years older. Am I better off holding out for someone younger? She is also Catholic, nerdy/shy, antivax, and keen to start a family.

Does she have many fertile years left? I understand the secular culture will tell me I'm an idiot not to date someone my age and tell me she's at her prime so I'm looking for some hard truth please.

 

[TrainedLogosmotion]

I met a woman online who is 29. Im only a few years older. Am I better off holding out for someone younger? She is also Catholic, nerdy/shy, antivax, and keen to start a family.

Does she have many fertile years left? I understand the secular culture will tell me I'm an idiot not to date someone my age and tell me she's at her prime so I'm looking for some hard truth please.

She's only a few years younger than you so I'd say she is ballpark your age. I plan to marry someone much younger than that if I succeed, and I'm your age. My sister had a child at 34 that is completely healthy. You might have end up having less children because of her age, but you could still make it work. Sounds like she checks some hard to come by boxes!

But more importantly, have you met her in person yet? That'll be the best way to screen the situation as quickly as possilble. Less time fantisizing and using logic and meet her asap to experience what you have to offer each other and guage for red flags.

 

[Australia Sucks]

I met a woman online who is 29. Im only a few years older. Am I better off holding out for someone younger? She is also Catholic, nerdy/shy, antivax, and keen to start a family.

Does she have many fertile years left? I understand the secular culture will tell me I'm an idiot not to date someone my age and tell me she's at her prime so I'm looking for some hard truth please.

A 29 year old woman is far too old for a guy your age. A guy who is 50+ has kids and is divorced should consider marrying a 29 year old woman not a guy like you. You need to raise your standards.

 

[aeroektar]

A 29 year old woman is far too old for a guy your age. A guy who is 50+ has kids and is divorced should consider marrying a 29 year old woman not a guy like you. You need to raise your standards.

You sound extremely entitled. Let me guess, you're also older then 30 and struggling to find a woman to settle down with?

29 isn't that old as someone else said. I think for myself personally at the age I am (mid 30s) I jive best with (non westernized) girls who are 23-27. But if I met a girl who's totally ideal to settle down with who just happened to be 29 I wouldn't hesitate to settle down with her. At that age it's not that big of a deal and other factors weigh more.

 

[SeaEagle]

You sound extremely entitled. Let me guess, you're also older then 30 and struggling to find a woman to settle down with?

29 isn't that old as someone else said. I think for myself personally at the age I am (mid 30s) I jive best with (non westernized) girls who are 23-27. But if I met a girl who's totally ideal to settle down with who just happened to be 29 I wouldn't hesitate to settle down with her. At that age it's not that big of a deal and other factors weigh more.

The issue is that there really aren't many based 20 year olds coming down the pipeline as I see it. Modern social media is corrupting teens much faster than myspace and MTV was. Just my opinion anyways.

This woman is keen to settle down as a stay at home Mom, which I have yet to see. Issue is, she lives 8 hours from me. We've done a video chat, and it was good. She was visibly nervous and a little awkward but she made the first move in suggesting it.

 

[TheosisSeeker]

The issue is that there really aren't many based 20 year olds coming down the pipeline as I see it. Modern social media is corrupting teens much faster than myspace and MTV was. Just my opinion anyways.

This woman is keen to settle down as a stay at home Mom, which I have yet to see. Issue is, she lives 8 hours from me. We've done a video chat, and it was good. She was visibly nervous and a little awkward but she made the first move in suggesting it.

She's probably fine, if you like her I'd pursue it.

 

[TrainedLogosmotion]

The issue is that there really aren't many based 20 year olds coming down the pipeline as I see it. Modern social media is corrupting teens much faster than myspace and MTV was. Just my opinion anyways.

This woman is keen to settle down as a stay at home Mom, which I have yet to see. Issue is, she lives 8 hours from me. We've done a video chat, and it was good. She was visibly nervous and a little awkward but she made the first move in suggesting it.

The 8 hours away thing could be tough. I'd like to focus on that and see if we can figure out if you should move forward or wish her well.

If she is willing to leave where she is to be with you, are you in a geographical place where you want to raise a family together? If she isn't willing to leave, is she in a geographical place where you'd want to raise a family together?

If neither of you are in a geographical place where you'd want to raise of family together, perhaps you could move to a new city together at some point in the future.

In the meantime, I'd place heavy emphasis on meeting up regularly and enjoying activities together to bond with one another. I'd absolutely advise against keeping it remained to a long distance digital courting scenario. Very bad idea IMO.

Are you financially stable enough to travel there often? Would you even want to do that? I could ask the same of her, but if she's the one paying to come visit you because she's the breadwinner, I don't see that as a good start.

Other things that come to mind. Let's say you're willing to give it a shot and travel to see her. You can afford it. Not once or twice a year. I mean regular visits. How long would it take before you guys were willing to relocate, or futher down the line raise a family together?

I'm obviously not making concrete plans here. I'm not crazy. I'm just trying to feel it out to see if it's worth it for you both to pursue this. I'm more inclined to find someone that lives closer, let's say within 2 hours away, or at the very least she lives in my home state and we can arrange to see each other on a regular basis.