Its already been established on the forum ad nauseum. You do not bring the girl back to the west. That is asking for trouble. You move to her country (or at least move her with you to a different non-western country).
To make the move financially viable you either do some form of online freelancing, teach English, etc. Or alternatively build up a nest egg of at least $300,000 USD (which is doable for an early 30s guy who has shit together) before you move to a foreign country so you can at least be semi-retired (if you live in a cheap city/town). Lets look for example what $300,000 USD can do for you.
If you are in a cheap country you can often find a small but comfortable house in a secondary city for under $100,000 USD (and obviously cheaper in small towns).
I have not been to Serbia so maybe Coja can weigh in here but for example I looked online and in Novi Sad (Serbia) (the second biggest city in Serbia) you can buy a small house 5km from the old town for under $100,000 USD. Get a bicycle and you are now a short distance from enjoying the old town whenever you want. (Not everybody is built for rural life).
So if for example you have $300,000 that would give you $200,000 left. You then for example invest the $200,000 in safe dividend paying aristocrat kind of stocks and get a 2.5% dividend yield which will hopefully grow over time (at least as fast as inflation) as well as you capital. 2.5% on $200,000 would give you $5000 USD in annual dividend income and since you own your own house you are not paying rent then the $5000 would cover a lot of your basic living expenses if you live frugally meaning a little bit of side hustling will make up the rest of the cash.
The side hustle can be anything from going back to your home (western country) to live with your parents (spending quality family time together) and work for say 6 - 9 months every 3 or 4 years to stack some cash, it can be tutoring English on the side, making stuff and selling it on the internet, doing walking tours or food tours of the city for English speaking tourists, etc. And obviously if you live in a small town instead of a city like Novi Sad buying a house and everything else would be even cheaper.
Novi Sad was just an example the same kind of dynamics apply in many of the cheaper countries where you can buy a house in a secondary city for under $100,000 USD. It is even possible in some beach cities if you are more of a beach kind of person.
I can say as someone in the 30 - 35 age bracket who has considerably more than $300,000 USD net worth its achievable by anyone who is willing to live frugal and work hard, has the opportunity to live with parents (admittedly not everybody) and take some risks and invest. I always had low paying entry level jobs (I have no qualifications) and often worked 2 jobs to save more money and invested my money reasonably well. I am not that smart so a lot of people can do what I did.
To summarize again the key steps for me were:
-Work hard (often 2 jobs)
-Live with parents (I was lucky enough not to have to pay board). I realize it is not an option for everyone though but most good parents will support their kids doing this if they see their kids are being wise and using the opportunity to stack cash and build themselves up.
-Be frugal and save as much as possible until you are more established.
-Teach yourself about investing and invest your money wisely (and take some risks).
These are things that most (but not all) people living in a western country can do.
Once you have done all the above (hopefully before 35) move to a based country (I am slowly transitioning towards this now), learn the language and meet a good local girl and live a low stress life.
I think guys who want to get married too early before they have life experience and before they are financially stable are rushing things and making a mistake. Also getting married in the west (even to a non-western girl) is a mistake. You got to have patience and be willing to put in the work and have long term plans. Just getting married young and in a hurry because you are lonely is a bad move.
And please if you are looking for marriage put your boots on the ground in a good location and stay away from online dating. Sure occasionally guys hit the jackpot with online dating but its sub-optimal and a long shot.
And a man who has his shit together (financial, health/fitness, foreign language ability, etc) and is in the 30 - 40 age range and does all the above that I recommended should only be considering for marriage non-western virgin women 23 or younger (that is as old as I would go. 18 is preferable). What would be the point of going though all the hardship to build yourself up as a man only to marry a low quality woman. That would be wasted effort. If you bring a lot of value to the table then the woman needs to bring things to the table also (e.g. youth/fertility, good attitude, cooking ability, virginity, etc)
The problem I see and not just on this forum is guys just want the quick and easy solution. They don't want to put in the hard yards and years of work.
I totally agree with your advice here. I should clarify what I meant by my experience to give you a better idea of my specific situation and how my angle, which may be shared with others here, has me on a different path at the moment.
I'm 34. I lived abroad for 8 years before moving back to the US last year. Taught English at an international school in Thailand for 5 years and learned Thai language, the final 3 I spent working remotely, started off teaching English online then got into higher paying work with online marketing. I stayed in almost every country in SEA for at least 3 months, then Mexico for 6.
Like another user said, there are pros and cons. The Thai girl I was intending on marrying was an absolute dimepiece. 18 when I met her. Spoke zero English, grew up on a farm in a rural city, farmer parents/family, traditional and Buddhist, never dated a foreigner before, etc. She wasn't a virgin but she had only one lover before me who was a Thai guy. Even with her checking so many boxes, she still had tv/phone/computer/internet/social media, and that phenomenon contributed to more and more problems over the years of dating her.
I also blame myself though because I was living a life of sin and debauchery and wasn't being faithful to her. I contributed to the failure of our relationship also. Towards the end of it, she had already moved away from her family to live in Bangkok to go to college. She had become further brainwashed. Her English became very good. Now she is extremely career focused and has married someone else in some sort of long distance fashion while she 'focuses on her career', but while married she was still messaging me adulterous messages. I ended up wishing her the best and blocking her.
Currently, I have a job that is impossible to do remotely. It's boots on the ground opportunist blue collar type work but it's the highest paying job I've ever had with potential to make much more down the line and take over the business. That's already been offered to me. It's the best chance I have financially of buying a home and supporting a wife and children.
So 1) I've already done what you've said, and I defintiely recommend that to others, so I don't wany you guys to take this as me being combative AT ALL, however at this point I've become refocused on the pros of my current situation and living in my home country, because while you've highlighted the pros, there are certainly cons in the realm of what you layed out that did start to grow on me personally that I'm sure many of us are already aware of, and
2) I'm now working stateside stacking cash. I'm doing the frugal thing and saving everything I can living like a monk. I would have to take a huge pay cut if I tried the abroad thing all over again. I'm not sure I want to work abroad again, at least at this current time, even if it's remotely. But it's not out of the question by any means. I see the value. I've just never given what I'm trying now a fair shot.
3) While I can relate to the sentiment of it being harder to find the type of wife we want here, I also think it's going to be a battle anywhere we go. So while it may be difficult, I want to take a shot at meeting someone here. And by someone I mean a girl that has these potential characteristics:
- Is willing to or currently living in a rural, red, conservative, 'based' part of the states with me, which is where I already am
- Is a Christian or preferably an Orthodox Christian from a tradional family
- Is 'green', let's say lived here less than a year, immigrated here WITH her family. Bonus points if they have their own business
- Is of a fertile age of ~20-25 and wants to have children. Bonus points if she has a job working with children
- Is introverted and 'nerdy' and has been somewhat sheltered from clown world
That's not a perfect blueprint. And I'm willing to call this a pipe dream. I'm also perfectly happy for you guys to poke holes in this, but I don't intend to have an argument. If I have to 'settle' for someone who isn't fulfilling all of my standards, then I may have to do that. I may have to struggle a bit. I wasn't the most perfect person all through my 20s and I am working hard to correct that so I can be more deserving of the type of female I desire.
She might want to live in a big city. She might be Islamic. She might have lived here longer than a year. Maybe she isn't a virgin or she was also broken like I was and is trying to better herself and we can connect in that way. This wasn't the only time I tried this either. I had a girl in the Philippines that checked almost all the same boxes as the Thai girl I was with. She did NOT want to leave her family in the Philippines, and I did NOT want to stay on the tiny deserted island forever. I also like being close to my own family here, as broken and 'woke' as some of them are, I'd like to at least be here for them by becoming a better example that they can look up to.
It's still on the table for me in the future to use my teaching license and start this process over again in a more 'based' country than the ones I stayed in. I'm defintely not knocking that or saying my way is better. Just highlighting that personal circumstances can have us taking different approaches. If I can't make it work here, eventually I think I will forego taking over the company and saving as much as possible like you said, become semi-retired, and live off my investments in a new foreign land, and maybe teach in an international school again in a different position.