Online dating in 2007 vs now: what happened?

[rainy]

If you want to get to know such women you're going to have to learn another language and then go to villages. It's not going to be that feasible to do as some foreigner who has taken a quick course. I have had a GF who I had to speak to via a translator and although it works, it is difficult. Especially if that language is very difficult.

I think the easiest option is to learn Spanish and then go to somewhere like Paraguay, or maybe Southern Brazil (Portuguese), given those are areas with women with a Euro-apperance.

I agree. I have a house in a rural Bulgarian village and let's just say, the lifestyle is quite different.

I am not completely opposed to the idea of men looking to find a wife abroad. It can be done and there's great women out there. However, it is nowhere near as easy as many appear to believe it would be. The culture and language differences, residency, earning income abroad, make it a real commitment. And if the other idea it to just meet someone, fall in love and rip her away from everything she knows and her family, and just move her back to the West.....good luck with that. Again, it can happen but in reality is far more complex than words on a forum.

There is also my general observation that the same rules and challenges to the dating game generally apply no matter where you are. If you're striking out repeatedly and aren't having any success in the West, then you are very likely to struggle elsewhere. On top of all of the above.

If people want to try, go ahead. Who am I to stop you. But if you're struggling to meet and find a woman in a country you're completely familiar with, dropping yourself into a foreign country is going to be tougher in many respects. And your future wife isn't just gonna flock to Mr Americano walking down the street because you're such a sight to behold. In fact, good luck first learning how to navigate the women who will play you for you money simply because you're foreign, with zero intention of ever settling down with you. If you can't approach a woman in an American gym or bar, it's tougher in Eastern Europe in a different language when she's already suspicious of your intentions as a foreigner.

Just my two cents having spent a lot of time in Eastern Europe and seeing how awkward and insufficient many other foreigners appear to be when there.

The best approach instead of going abroad to look for women would be to go abroad to relocate for a good amount of time. Pick a place, move, get residency, get a place, have income, settle in and become familiar with the language and culture. Then your chances for success would improve dramatically. Because then you're just looking for a woman where you happen to live and work and it's more natural.

 

[rainy]

I met a woman online who is 29. Im only a few years older. Am I better off holding out for someone younger? She is also Catholic, nerdy/shy, antivax, and keen to start a family.

Does she have many fertile years left? I understand the secular culture will tell me I'm an idiot not to date someone my age and tell me she's at her prime so I'm looking for some hard truth please.

SeaEagle, if it were me I would move forward with her and see where it goes after a few months. If you both hit it off and it looks like a good match, then I wouldn't let 29 be the holdup.

Both my children were born when my wife was in her 30's. They're perfectly happy and healthy. If she's 29 you easily have time for 3-4 kids.

 

[Ouroboros]

I agree. I have a house in a rural Bulgarian village and let's just say, the lifestyle is quite different.

I am not completely opposed to the idea of men looking to find a wife abroad. It can be done and there's great women out there. However, it is nowhere near as easy as

There is also my general observation that the same rules and challenges to the dating game generally apply no matter where you are. If you're striking out repeatedly and aren't having any success in the West, then you are very likely to struggle elsewhere. On top of all of the above.

I hear this a lot but it isn't true from my experience. I have zero success with Australian women but do ok with foreigners (even English women, surprisingly, so it's not just a West vs the rest thing). The major reason I do poorly here is lack of social circle (a necessity here for the non-adonis, if you have any kind of standards). Haven't been to Eastern Europe but I would suspect the major hurdle for Westerners is not knowing the local language.

 

[COtrailrider]

Check out this 30 second video. Compare this to the 'pride' parades full of trannies and pride flags that flood western streets and media.

 

[Coja Petrus Uscan]

I’m from Eastern European country and due to nature of my job I’m often in contact with 20 year old girls and I can tell you that settling down is not on their minds.

Can also confirm. My main XP is in Russia, and university girls will generally say that they want to get married and have a family. I always compare it to the US in the 1980s. The average age of marriage for women in Russia is 25. It was actually lower in the UK in the 1980s:

^ What a mess

For university girls in Russia, getting married is just one thing they are interested. When I first started hearing them say some of the things they say, I thought I'd found the promised land, but marriage isn't the highest on their list. Also, Russian women are pretty ravenous for financial security. That's why they go to university. So they can support themselves if they get divorced. A single mother is on chump change from the state there. You will also here lots of stories about women doing stuff like keeping the receipt for their wedding ring, so they can sell it if they get divorced.

In terms of Russian women, they are typically very hard to please and may require brute force when they are young, but once they are late 20s or older, they tend to get a bit desperate. That's where you are most likely to find one to marry.

Again - villages. The manner and spirit of EE village girls is very different from those from Belgrade or Moscow.

And I am sure in another 3 or 4 years time that curious and friendly 15 year old girl will blossom into a highly marriageable young woman.

Well, I was thinking next year, but when I went back I didn't see them and my phone with their number in exploded. I didn't add that it appeared to me the parents seemed to be interested in her talking with me. Also had another experience in Serbia when it appeared some mother and grandmother were sizing me up for marriage. This was in a grocery store in one of the poorest areas.

I have not been to Serbia so maybe Coja can weigh in here but for example I looked online and in Novi Sad (Serbia)

You're right. You can decent village houses for a large family for $25K, and for $100K you can get something pretty nice. One thing is with Serbia though is their construction and interiors are not that good. So I think it would be good to find some people to build a home for you. Pre the Putin price hike you could get very nice homes in Russia and Ukraine for $250K+. I saw a nice, good construction 5/6 bedroom home with large swimming pool in Kherson for about $250K.

I've seen there are cheap Serbian lessons offered in the town of Sombor (probably the nicest town/city) in the country. But I think you'd be better off going to Nis, in the south.

Also a good thing about Serbia is everything is cheap, especially food. Currently in Kazakhstan. Average salary in this city is $200 pm, but the food is the same price as the UK for the most part. In South Serbia you can bring back 4 full bags of high quality produce for $10-15.

- Is willing to or currently living in a rural, red, conservative, 'based' part of the states with me, which is where I already am

Given that you live in the US, you could try the site ChristianMingle. A lot of US members, and there are some very conservative ones on there. Give is 6 months.

I met a woman online who is 29. Im only a few years older. Am I better off holding out for someone younger? She is also Catholic, nerdy/shy, antivax, and keen to start a family.

A couple of years back, a friend offered to introduce me to his waifu's friend. I forgot how old she was, but she was at 30-1 and I think two younger than me. He also mentioned her sister who was 1-2 years younger. I met this girl once and she was very attractive and elegant and slim and demure. But I have come accustomed to much younger girls in foreign countries, so I wasn't that interested. Part of that is because I can afford and want as many children as possible. But maybe I just just settle for the world depicted in the graph above. I do think that someone from your own country is the best option, but the west is so debased with high bars for low-end fruit.

-----------------------

I was in Russia in the summer. I didn't have much time, due to work requirements. Met one who was about 28, which I entertained, but it was a disaster. When I had some free time I went to Siberia and met one girl, who was -14 years and also one of the far-eastern Asian mixes. I wasn't really sure about this and she wanted to fornicate and not have children until 28. So that was the end of that. This girl was highly Westernised despite almost having never left this city that I doubt any one here has ever heard of.

Went out via Mongolia, where IOIs (is that the old term?) are off the chart. Hardly any Europeans in this remote country with a few flight routes.

Then into Kazakhstan, to some odd city. Leaving in a few days. Met one girl here, of Ukrainian ancestry, 17 years my junior. Doesn't speak any English, but is a student. Went to dinner with her and her friend, who didn't speak English either. Especially considering my Russian is not very good, I thought it was the best dinner I'd been on with a girl, and it seemed it was mutual. Went on a walk down the river and she said we should meet again on Tuesday. After that she's not replied on Telegram, and barely been on there. Other than being bumped off, it's possible she'd got COVID, as I probably had it when I met her, but did say. Got hit twice at the same time as President Brandon. Or maybe she's angry that I spoke more with her friend.

In all, Kazakhstan is much better than Russia as the girls are much softer. But unless you can speak Russian, I don't think it's going to be easy.

Need to have a period of no work to focus on this. Off to some small town in Armenia in a few days, to meet some Russian super-autism for work. So expect to be straight into the pipelines. Very high IOIs in Armenia and the base culture is much more intact. Seems very low on fornication culture, but the signs of modernity are all over the capital.

 

[stonesfan99]

I tried Tinder, got a match, said "Hey how are you doing?" About 8 hours later, got a response that said "Good." That was it. Like what is the point of even matching with me if you don't even want to talk to me? What a waste of time. Then people wonder why men give up. Apparently women have just as much trouble on these things. Is this my mission in life? To just be shoved into a corner? Is that all that I am?

 

[Cynllo]

Apparently women have just as much trouble on these things.

One woman told me Tinder was useless. But didn't elaborate. But the reality is that women are saturated in matches. A top couple of percent male gets a fraction of the matches an average women gets. Yet most will never meet any of them.

Is this my mission in life? To just be shoved into a corner? Is that all that I am?

If you are using apps, more or less. Particularly if you are sending messages like you sent. You were lucky to get a reply.

You will likely fare better if you write a more substantive message, and a message that is true to yourself, and what you are looking for. Given you're on this forum you will probably get more replies if you pretend to be some hip 'n happening fun guy. But you are better of filtering from someone appropriate. Unfortunately it is much easier to find a casual relationship in the west, than it is to find a serious one.

Most women don't read profiles. At least not until you have sent a message that interests them.

Try something like,

Hello Christina, my name is Stonetoss Fanarov.

[make one comment or ask a question about something they wrote]

I am a mature man who knows what he wants in life. I have already succeeded in ______. I have more goals in my job, but the most important one at the moment is to find a young woman with whom I can spend the rest of my life and start a family. I find it attractive when a woman depends on me for everything she needs in life and when she finds she can rely on me for everything.

What is your biggest dream in life?

Change it to fit your circumstances. Most Western women will find that patriarchal or something, but some will be curious. And something like that will go down very well in LatAm.

Also, make sure you have photos that look good. Not something you just took in the mirror or average photos.

And prepare for the long-haul. Two guys have posted on here they were on sites (religious sites in both cases, I believe) for six months before messaging with their future wives.

Particularly in the current age, you are likely going to face a mountain of rejection, flakes, dead-end, blocks, unresponsiveness etc. You just have to deal with it. You only need one.

 

[TheosisSeeker]

I hear this a lot but it isn't true from my experience. I have zero success with Australian women but do ok with foreigners (even English women, surprisingly, so it's not just a West vs the rest thing). The major reason I do poorly here is lack of social circle (a necessity here for the non-adonis, if you have any kind of standards). Haven't been to Eastern Europe but I would suspect the major hurdle for Westerners is not knowing the local language.

Agreed, it's a quality problem. As I wrote in another post, I tried an online dating app and got 40 or so women who pre 'liked' my profile (since they didn't come up in my queue yet) in a few days, but there were only a few I'd seriously consider of which most were foreign (mostly Asian)

There's too many variables, but there is a delusional camp here who think that only unattractive guys with nothing going for them go for foreign family oriented women. The typical feminist talking points. If you aren't looking for a family and just want hookups and sugar babies with liberal females the US is your oyster, if you don't your mostly out of luck.

 

[COtrailrider]

Regarding online dating, it's much better outside of the US. It resembles what it was in the US, say, 5-6 years ago.

I'll also make a general statement about dating outside of the west as well as in regards to my earlier comments. The man should want to live a global/expat lifestyle in many facets, not just for women. I am naturally a curious person so when I first started traveling abroad I was fascinated by the whole experience. The languages, the cultural nuances, the food, the history, etc. Before visiting a city/attraction I'd read about it beforehand so that when I experienced it in person I could appreciate it that much more.

The women angle was an added bonus - not the main dish, so to speak. Build the life and the women will come, after all.

Now I look at globally at the best places for banking, for setting up a business for tax purposes, countries that allow multiple citizenships. We're not 13th Century peasants stuck in a small valley in Europe - my view is that we should leverage the current systems and tech to live our best lives.

 

[stonesfan99]

Another thing I get annoyed by is when women message me on these platforms, act interested, but never ask me any questions, like I have to 100% carry the conversation, then later on they just ghost. Like why would you message me if you weren't even interested?

 

[Blade Runner]

There's too many variables, but there is a delusional camp here who think that only unattractive guys with nothing going for them go for foreign family oriented women. The typical feminist talking points. If you aren't looking for a family and just want hookups and sugar babies with liberal females the US is your oyster, if you don't your mostly out of luck.

Yes, and the wealth/simp game is only for guys who are devoid of any real meaning, as to continue on something that gets old that fast is very telling. There's a reason why most realize that after a while "sex is boring" like Tate says, making the comparison to eating, and the idea of abundancy. It's only something to look forward to, after a while, if you are starving.

The older guys here just want to rightly direct their energy, sexual and otherwise. Another issue with men is that as they age, they become either more set in stone, or see past the testosterone to not deal with the nonsense. This is another cold, hard reality of all the discussions on the board.

 

[Blade Runner]

Another thing I get annoyed by is when women message me on these platforms, act interested, but never ask me any questions, like I have to 100% carry the conversation, then later on they just ghost. Like why would you message me if you weren't even interested?

Attention porn. That's all this stuff is.

 

[SlickyBoy]

Need to have a period of no work to focus on this. Off to some small town in Armenia in a few days, to meet some Russian super-autism for work. So expect to be straight into the pipelines. Very high IOIs in Armenia and the base culture is much more intact. Seems very low on fornication culture, but the signs of modernity are all over the capital.

What kind of work lets you take off that kind of time? Or are you fully remote?

And yeah, to the guys on Tinder, those apps are not meant for you, they are for her. It's as Scorpion pointed out in about the second or third post on this thread - she can spend all afternoon flipping through profile pics as you might waste an hour watching Netflix previews without settling on anything. I'd be suspect of any of the "good" girls you find there.

 

[griffinmill]

Another thing I get annoyed by is when women message me on these platforms, act interested, but never ask me any questions, like I have to 100% carry the conversation, then later on they just ghost. Like why would you message me if you weren't even interested?

Few years ago when I first started using Bumble I was infuriated because on that app the women have to make the first move (which makes no sense because who cares who starts the conversation, you can still unmatch or block or whatever).

It's supposed to give women the "power" in the arena.

So here they are with this great opportunity to start a convo and what do they do? They send animated gifs as an opener or they send these pre-made questions created by Bumble like "Pineapple on pizza, yes or no?"

I was so mad that I lashed out at a few of them for being so boring, and I was promptly blocked by the app for "sexual harassment" (which isn't accurate).

 

[Viktor Zeegelaar]

Few years ago when I first started using Bumble I was infuriated because on that app the women have to make the first move (which makes no sense because who cares who starts the conversation, you can still unmatch or block or whatever).

It's supposed to give women the "power" in the arena.

So here they are with this great opportunity to start a convo and what do they do? They send animated gifs as an opener or they send these pre-made questions created by Bumble like "Pineapple on pizza, yes or no?"

I was so mad that I lashed out at a few of them for being so boring, and I was promptly blocked by the app for "sexual harassment" (which isn't accurate).

A deer doesn't have to know the lion. It just knows that it must run away when the lion approaches. A lion however has to know the deer. It has to know how it moves, where it stays, when it sleeps, where it drinks, what it eats. All of that so he can form a strategy to get it. The man has to initiate and do all the work initially, so he is the predator in that sense, and the woman the prey. A woman has absolutely no idea what it takes to court a woman, nor does she care. It's funny as I've seen some roleplays on Fresh and Fit where a woman gets the mic and has to pretend she's the man opening a conversation, and they have absolutely no idea what they're doing. They either become completely creepy, or they lead with money only. Funnily, the things they do is what would automatically turn them away from guys. They have no understanding at all.

 

[stonesfan99]

Few years ago when I first started using Bumble I was infuriated because on that app the women have to make the first move (which makes no sense because who cares who starts the conversation, you can still unmatch or block or whatever).

It's supposed to give women the "power" in the arena.

So here they are with this great opportunity to start a convo and what do they do? They send animated gifs as an opener or they send these pre-made questions created by Bumble like "Pineapple on pizza, yes or no?"

I was so mad that I lashed out at a few of them for being so boring, and I was promptly blocked by the app for "sexual harassment" (which isn't accurate).

The thing is, I don't have problems with approaching women in public. If I see an attractive woman alone in the grocery store I will ask her a question and say hi, etc. The problem is I don't really know where to go to meet single women anymore. I'm 35, so I'm too old for the college bars. Online dating has been a total failure for me. I think when I was on POF a few years back, I had maybe 2 dates and one misrepresented herself, the other I just wasn't into.

I have had a couple of dates through friends. One was totally boring and again, I had to 100% carry the conversation when we were out. Another girl I dated was super clingy. I don't mind that, but then I found out that she was still sleeping with her "buddy" from work.

I tried out MeetUp but the women weren't into me. One I kind of liked was into another guy in our group.

I think I just have to learn to be comfortable being on my own. It has affected my relationship with my parents too. I feel like they are too controlling/treat me like a child and it is going to affect my dating life. Maybe I am worried over nothing and should just accept the situation and God will lead me.

 

[SeekingTruth]

Few years ago when I first started using Bumble I was infuriated because on that app the women have to make the first move (which makes no sense because who cares who starts the conversation, you can still unmatch or block or whatever).

It's supposed to give women the "power" in the arena.

So here they are with this great opportunity to start a convo and what do they do? They send animated gifs as an opener or they send these pre-made questions created by Bumble like "Pineapple on pizza, yes or no?"

I was so mad that I lashed out at a few of them for being so boring, and I was promptly blocked by the app for "sexual harassment" (which isn't accurate).

I can relate to this. Back in my online dating days (prior to 2019), I would find myself just lashing out eventually with women that wasted my time (and I don’t consider myself some goon with nothing going for me either).

I ended up meeting my wife in real life and nothing online even came close in quality. I see that time period as a HUGE waste of time. Women of any quality won’t end up online. Plus, my wife isn’t into tech. She has zero social media and I can’t imagine my wife being glued to a phone posting stupid pics.

Also, someone above mentioned girls not replying. Your “hey how are you doing” type message is literally sent by 100 other guys with the same profile as you. So I imagine you’re wasting her time as well.

 

[SlickyBoy]

A deer doesn't have to know the lion. It just knows that it must run away when the lion approaches. A lion however has to know the deer. It has to know how it moves, where it stays, when it sleeps, where it drinks, what it eats. All of that so he can form a strategy to get it. The man has to initiate and do all the work initially, so he is the predator in that sense, and the woman the prey. A woman has absolutely no idea what it takes to court a woman, nor does she care. It's funny as I've seen some roleplays on Fresh and Fit where a woman gets the mic and has to pretend she's the man opening a conversation, and they have absolutely no idea what they're doing. They either become completely creepy, or they lead with money only. Funnily, the things they do is what would automatically turn them away from guys. They have no understanding at all.

These are the (single) moms who eventually tell their confused, fatherless sons about dating with sage advice such as "Just be yourself, honey!"

 

[Blade Runner]

The thing is, I don't have problems with approaching women in public. If I see an attractive woman alone in the grocery store I will ask her a question and say hi, etc. The problem is I don't really know where to go to meet single women anymore. I'm 35, so I'm too old for the college bars. Online dating has been a total failure for me. I think when I was on POF a few years back, I had maybe 2 dates and one misrepresented herself, the other I just wasn't into.

I have had a couple of dates through friends. One was totally boring and again, I had to 100% carry the conversation when we were out. Another girl I dated was super clingy. I don't mind that, but then I found out that she was still sleeping with her "buddy" from work.

I tried out MeetUp but the women weren't into me. One I kind of liked was into another guy in our group.

I think I just have to learn to be comfortable being on my own. It has affected my relationship with my parents too. I feel like they are too controlling/treat me like a child and it is going to affect my dating life. Maybe I am worried over nothing and should just accept the situation and God will lead me.

Unless a culture is very well suited/honest about men in their late 30s or early 40s as good husbands with wisdom and resources, there is nothing about it that will make it work. As you age, you lose social connections for many reasons, and you actually find that you (most people) are only good friends with a small group of people, people who aren't stupid or superficial. The natural process of aging, individually and socially, totally works against you. Of course, the biggest stumbling block is making it worth it for a man who has knowledge and resources, which means a younger wife most of the time, something a lot of people and places aren't willing to do. Ironically, the modern west has created a situation where they tell younger women to wait to get married, then discriminate against the older men that got bypassed by that same cohort when they were actually younger.

 

[Viktor Zeegelaar]

These are the (single) moms who eventually tell their confused, fatherless sons about dating with sage advice such as "Just be yourself, honey!"

It's a very clever strategy by the regime, let me give them that. I mean when your opponents are too many to outright kill, you just kill them indirectly through mental/social/personal/emotional death by a thousand cuts. You pull all the jenga blocks one by one until the tower falls, and we're about at that point, if not already passed.