Online dating in 2007 vs now: what happened?

[Blade Runner]

It's just that the period was in the odd spot between when club culture was at it's peak but online dating was in its infancy. At the time online dating catered to specific niches like people with geographic impediments, specific religions, or the "bottom barrelers" like Plenty of Fish. A lot of the sites at that point functioned more like digital matchmakers than the hookup auctions they are now.

Exactly right. I think I'm around the same generation as you all. The bad thing is that I didn't realize how online actually had a novel aspect to it in a good way, that if you beat all the fools who had rushed in by 2011 or so, you could have had real prospects. It was like the first time you chatted on AOL with someone, it seemed so exciting - remember that back in the day?

That's why a lot of guys on the early "dating" apps could so easily get meets and even excite younger or college girls into successful hookups or dates. Then it became so mainstream and obvious, no girl cared. When girls lost their 20s to expectations of their own career, they simultaneously didn't care about a good man, what his future was, etc. Thus, the 30+ year old and the wall became realities in society.

 

[Maddox]

I remember using Christian Mingle in 2009 and matched with 2 beautiful women.

One of them was an 8.5 Latina, but who was lacking a soul. Very hung up on money and I had none at the time. If I did, I would've gladly made her my girlfriend, even though in the long run it would've been a bad match. My lack of funds was the reason that we never went out again.

The other was a white girl who was an 8. She had the most beautiful, soft voice I've ever heard. It was so feminine, I would've dated her on that aspect alone. However, she also had a great derriere. And on our first date, some guy sitting with his friends at another table had to loudly make a comment about it as she walked past them. She was into me too and asked about my church. Still to this day, I don't know what happened but a misunderstanding ended it for us before it had even begun.

That was 2009. To this day, I have never come close to meeting women like that on a dating site.

 

[Parmesan]

That's why a lot of guys on the early "dating" apps could so easily get meets and even excite younger or college girls into successful hookups or dates. Then it became so mainstream and obvious, no girl cared. When girls lost their 20s to expectations of their own career, they simultaneously didn't care about a good man, what his future was, etc. Thus, the 30+ year old and the wall became realities in society.

The “low hanging fruit” in online dating, if it ever truly existed, was well before 2011. Online/app dating has always been extremely tilted in favor of women, and even in 2011 it was mostly a waste of time. Many of the men boasting about their “success” on Tinder in its early days had very pathetic standards, at least in my experience.

 

[prisonplanet]

About six months ago I tried online dating for the first time in years. I did okcupid, tinder and Facebook dating. I kept details minimal but overall had a solid profile. Good pictures, bit about my work and aspirations. I didn't mention I was Christian - not sure if that was me secretly hoping to fornicate or just not wanting to scare off a nice girl before getting a chance to chat.

Either way, I was pretty active on them and basically used shotgun approach. I swiped yes to every woman that looked decent. There was a cap on how many swipes yu got per day so I just swiped the limit and called it good. It was very slow going and only connected with a handful of attractive women on tinder and okcupid, and most of them either didn't respond to me or expressed little interest. On Facebook dating, though, I had considerable success with matches and soon had quite a few conversations going. At this point (about two weeks in) I deleted my okcupid and tinder and only used FB. What happened was I started setting dates up and then ghosting the girls because I knew where things were headed. None of these girls were marriageable and I was overcome with lust looking at their pics. One girl just invited over to her house straight up and I started "soft" sexting her.

The whole thing made me realize that I was treating these women in much the same way that I watch porn. I was getting off on looking at their pics, seeing if I could have them, and imagining what we would be doing if I went out with them. I felt guilty not only that I was seeking fornication, but even more so that I was basically wasting their time, dragging them along just to fuel my lustful imaginations.

There were only a handful of women that I was genuinely interested in as a wife and not a booty call who also expressed genuine interest in me and that hit a head when I saw this beautiful woman who seemed somewhat innocent. We messaged back and forth until she ghosted me, and I deleted my account and haven't touched it since. My experience with online dating nowadays seems to be much the same as it was 10-15 years ago, that if you're looking for pleasure, you can have it as long as you spend lots and lots of time swiping and accepting rejection to get to the few possibilities. And if you're looking for something serious and godly, maybe a Christian site provides some measure of hope, I don't know.

 

[kievanrus]

The dating market got more competitive as you are now competing against top tier men globally, whereas before you competed locally. Any billionaire middle eastern prince can fly out 8s-10s on their private jet with just one DM. The key is the find women who don't speak English, and thus aren't in the international market.

 

[Mr Freedom]

Woman in their 20s nowadays dress in alot more provocative & sexualized way then ever before (Unlike the 90s or early 00s which is ironic as women looked more more attractive back then)

Just goes to show that all the outrage about cat calling & street harrrassment is a giant shit test to keep the betas away from approaching

Anyway, I keep away from online dating because every profile looks like softcore porn. I dont mind getting ghosted & the low roi but the perverted nature of it is why I stay away.

The girls probably want to create a network of simps & wait for chad to arrive. Its pure animalistic & disguisting.

 

[Road2Damascus]

About six months ago I tried online dating for the first time in years. I did okcupid, tinder and Facebook dating. I kept details minimal but overall had a solid profile. Good pictures, bit about my work and aspirations. I didn't mention I was Christian - not sure if that was me secretly hoping to fornicate or just not wanting to scare off a nice girl before getting a chance to chat.

Either way, I was pretty active on them and basically used shotgun approach. I swiped yes to every woman that looked decent. There was a cap on how many swipes yu got per day so I just swiped the limit and called it good. It was very slow going and only connected with a handful of attractive women on tinder and okcupid, and most of them either didn't respond to me or expressed little interest. On Facebook dating, though, I had considerable success with matches and soon had quite a few conversations going. At this point (about two weeks in) I deleted my okcupid and tinder and only used FB. What happened was I started setting dates up and then ghosting the girls because I knew where things were headed. None of these girls were marriageable and I was overcome with lust looking at their pics. One girl just invited over to her house straight up and I started "soft" sexting her.

The whole thing made me realize that I was treating these women in much the same way that I watch porn. I was getting off on looking at their pics, seeing if I could have them, and imagining what we would be doing if I went out with them. I felt guilty not only that I was seeking fornication, but even more so that I was basically wasting their time, dragging them along just to fuel my lustful imaginations.

There were only a handful of women that I was genuinely interested in as a wife and not a booty call who also expressed genuine interest in me and that hit a head when I saw this beautiful woman who seemed somewhat innocent. We messaged back and forth until she ghosted me, and I deleted my account and haven't touched it since. My experience with online dating nowadays seems to be much the same as it was 10-15 years ago, that if you're looking for pleasure, you can have it as long as you spend lots and lots of time swiping and accepting rejection to get to the few possibilities. And if you're looking for something serious and godly, maybe a Christian site provides some measure of hope, I don't know.

Many men have this experience. May I ask your age range? Can Facebook filter for Christians?

 

[lincolnhawk]

About six months ago I tried online dating for the first time in years. I did okcupid, tinder and Facebook dating. I kept details minimal but overall had a solid profile. Good pictures, bit about my work and aspirations. I didn't mention I was Christian - not sure if that was me secretly hoping to fornicate or just not wanting to scare off a nice girl before getting a chance to chat.

Either way, I was pretty active on them and basically used shotgun approach. I swiped yes to every woman that looked decent. There was a cap on how many swipes yu got per day so I just swiped the limit and called it good. It was very slow going and only connected with a handful of attractive women on tinder and okcupid, and most of them either didn't respond to me or expressed little interest. On Facebook dating, though, I had considerable success with matches and soon had quite a few conversations going. At this point (about two weeks in) I deleted my okcupid and tinder and only used FB. What happened was I started setting dates up and then ghosting the girls because I knew where things were headed. None of these girls were marriageable and I was overcome with lust looking at their pics. One girl just invited over to her house straight up and I started "soft" sexting her.

The whole thing made me realize that I was treating these women in much the same way that I watch porn. I was getting off on looking at their pics, seeing if I could have them, and imagining what we would be doing if I went out with them. I felt guilty not only that I was seeking fornication, but even more so that I was basically wasting their time, dragging them along just to fuel my lustful imaginations.

There were only a handful of women that I was genuinely interested in as a wife and not a booty call who also expressed genuine interest in me and that hit a head when I saw this beautiful woman who seemed somewhat innocent. We messaged back and forth until she ghosted me, and I deleted my account and haven't touched it since. My experience with online dating nowadays seems to be much the same as it was 10-15 years ago, that if you're looking for pleasure, you can have it as long as you spend lots and lots of time swiping and accepting rejection to get to the few possibilities. And if you're looking for something serious and godly, maybe a Christian site provides some measure of hope, I don't know.

That's interesting about FB dating vs the other apps . I'll have to give it a shot. Tinder seems to be mostly fake profiles; Bumble and Hinge I have similar experiences - exchange a few messages and then the convo dies.

 

[prisonplanet]

Many men have this experience. May I ask your age range? Can Facebook filter for Christians?

I'm 38.

I don't think you can filter for Christians. It probably wouldn't be wise anyway as so few women identify as Christian. Also, there is some algorithm where FB starts suggesting women outside your preferred location radius - sometimes as far as hundreds of miles away. You would quickly run out of the few women in close proximity who identify as Christian.

 

[prisonplanet]

That's interesting about FB dating vs the other apps . I'll have to give it a shot. Tinder seems to be mostly fake profiles; Bumble and Hinge I have similar experiences - exchange a few messages and then the convo dies.

Yeah, as far as Tinder and Okcupid, I paid for a membership but only the first level. Theoretically, had I paid more, I might have had more success. Still, FB was definitely better, and it's free so you're really not losing anything.

 

[Sephorax]

I have had more succes on online dating lately by using better photos. I still get matched with other races like Turkish/Morrocan, Asian, Latina (who are on holiday here) and African. Most of them are good looking though. Some fat women once in a while. Not as bad as it used to be where I would only match with fat women.

I matched with a few muslim women as well. This whole idea that (western) muslim women are traditional is BS.

Some cute European women too for sure. I noticed the young girls (18-20) are cut throat. They will reject you quickly if you don't bring your A game.

Still it is very unsatisfying and I tend to stop using it for weeks on end and just live my life. Eventhough I do want to meet women sometimes it feels as if it is a waste of time and not worth it.

I think more people feel like this. On both sides male and female. Feminism makes people less attracted to each other. Both genders. Since you will be disgusted by their weird masculine behaviours and vice versa women will be disgusted with a feminine soy man.\

It's a perfect weapon.

 

[Cynllo]

That's interesting about FB dating vs the other apps . I'll have to give it a shot. Tinder seems to be mostly fake profiles; Bumble and Hinge I have similar experiences - exchange a few messages and then the convo dies.

Those are real women.

I was on the train in the UK a few days ago. It was full, with the aisles also full of standing people. I look down and am greeted by a bright screen. On the screen are bright colours. White and yellow. I believe it's Bumble. The screen is held in the large hands of a female. The hands are beyond thick, their puffy with fat, attached to an obese frame that is topped of with scraggly, unorderly mop of hair. Due to the obesity, she looks like she's late 20s, but is probably around 23. I watch as a steep draught of red pill is delivered. Her mighty paws swipe left, and left again. Some of these guys I would describe as in the 7 range; while she is a 3 tops. Ocassionly she draws down the list of interests and bio. Briefly intakes the info and discards them. This continues for about 3 minutes until the well of faces runs dry. She cast every one of them away and then began gorging on WhatsApp messages.

 

[roid]

When I tried online dating first time in 2007 it worked. Not that you necessarly met a girl you loved but at least it was easy to get dates and numbers. A guy who looked good and had a mediocre profile (like me) didn't have much problems to get a date the same night as you contacted this girls profile (or she contacted you). Then ofcourse it happened sometimes they you started to argue after one date or two, and then split apart. Or that you didn't even met because you were too busy with either other girls or work or something, or lived too far away from your match at an online dating site. I thought it was quite good and fun to use such a site. Then I met a girl I loved and went to a several year relationship with her. We didn't met on the Internet, but among friends we had incommon.

But after we broke up and I went single in 2014, I went back to a dating site and got an account. And I noticed something. It was incredible hard to get a reply from a girl, despite me being even more muscular than when I used dating sites 6 years earlier.

It seemed like a shift in the purpose of such sites. Girls didn't use online dating to get dates anymore, they used it to just get attention. Or - they were super picky. A friend of mine notice the same.

What happened during the years say 2010-2014? Anyone else noticing it.

I haven't read the rest of the thread but it is obvious that you got older. Chicks will screen you out based on your age alone.

 

[Bird]

Video was uploaded 29 Aug 2022

 

[prisonplanet]

I haven't read the rest of the thread but it is obvious that you got older. Chicks will screen you out based on your age alone.

It's obvious that everyone has gotten older.

 

[Blade Runner]

It's obvious that everyone has gotten older.

It became sadly obvious to me that if in the west, regardless of success, and past the age of 33 if you have any standards, it's too late for you. The last real sweet spot for various reasons of society/surroundings/reasonable ages of women is the age range of 27-32. By mid 30s, even if you are a top 10-20% in looks and a top 5% in career/earnings, you'll only get 30+ year old women, and most of them are silly considerations for a man who has "done the work." This is the dilemma of women not selling high, or quite frankly caring about it, in their 20s. To be quite honest, only a very small fraction 20 yo women these days, due to the weight and diet problems, are even close to 6.5/7 or higher.

 

[Острог]

It became sadly obvious to me that if in the west, regardless of success, and past the age of 33 if you have any standards, it's too late for you. The last real sweet spot for various reasons of society/surroundings/reasonable ages of women is the age range of 27-32. By mid 30s, even if you are a top 10-20% in looks and a top 5% in career/earnings, you'll only get 30+ year old women, and most of them are silly considerations for a man who has "done the work." This is the dilemma of women not selling high, or quite frankly caring about it, in their 20s. To be quite honest, only a very small fraction 20 yo women these days, due to the weight and diet problems, are even close to 6.5/7 or higher.

This is the true and sad state of affairs. In the light of such reality becoming a monk is an increasingly serious consideration for an Orthodox Christian. This is a much better solution than a semi-failed, patchwork marriage or bachelorship. For someone who's mid-30's a serious answer to this dilemma has to be made. In 2023 there's no time to waste.

 

[Cynllo]

This is the true and sad state of affairs. In the light of such reality becoming a monk is an increasingly serious consideration for an Orthodox Christian. This is a much better solution than a semi-failed, patchwork marriage or bachelorship. For someone who's mid-30's a serious answer to this dilemma has to be made. In 2023 there's no time to waste.

Hola-hola or monkdom.

 

[Blade Runner]

This is the true and sad state of affairs. In the light of such reality becoming a monk is an increasingly serious consideration for an Orthodox Christian. This is a much better solution than a semi-failed, patchwork marriage or bachelorship. For someone who's mid-30's a serious answer to this dilemma has to be made. In 2023 there's no time to waste.

You see, I don't even see the 20 year olds having an interest or being socially capable at this point, and they are also going to be inheritors of the wealth transfer, which is another strike against them. Given what we are seeing as very likely world and societal changes in the future, we are looking at the advanced economies getting slightly better, regarding pairings, at earliest in 9-10 years. Dramatic changes in population and/or jab related injury/infertility could theoretically change things in the shorter term, but present then also different world problems.

Hola-hola or monkdom.

This is the escape route, complicated by my point above in the geopolitical aspects (both travel, biopassport, and fertility issues), because in general we are talking about latin america. Note that if you are mid to late 30s or even 40 you have 10 years easily in that region of the world, if you have your stuff together, when of course the world economies aren't going to be any better moving ahead.

Additionally as an addendum to the monk point, we can be struggling, pious laypeople helping out our fellow man "in the world". That neighbor of ours is going to be struggling, and with our ability to foresee certain things and plan, God grant that we see Christ in him and use our talents to alleviate his suffering. As I've said before, it very well could be that a lot of these decisions will be made for us in a certain sense. I don't think 2023-25 are going to look too positive, rather, they will be foreboding of times to come.

 

[Blade Runner]

Since we're all in agreement about the status quo or trajectory, more or less, what's your take on what happens for the remainder of the decade? Just slow degradation and continued complaining/checking out? I feel like we've beat the dead horse of what's going on and what's worth it (little) from even partnership levels. You'd think someone would bring up more directly, "What's the point of these women making money if they never contribute it, or want to contribute it, to relationships?" It reminds me of the self own that immigrants do. Go to the new materialist paradise, spoil their kids, then complain when the kids marry someone of a different culture, cease speaking the language, and/or don't have kids at all. Great job.

I wonder if arranged marriages ever come back. I guess the answer to my question might be something we all talk about but can barely imagine: are there really going to be that many people dying in the next 10 years or so?