Online dating in 2007 vs now: what the h-ll happened?

to be honest pickup in someways is a pseudo science and a scam. At least in 2020 anyways. So good on the Indians for getting their money back.

Now to carry on with my point I think we are gravitating to a society in which Women will be choosing their mates and making the first move instead of men. No amount of masculine game theory will help you.

If you disagree then I challenge you to visit any city in the Anglosphere and look at how most young urban couples look like. Its usually a decent looking women walking in a somewhat arrogant way holding hands with a cutish looking guy (who probably can't fight to save his life). When they walk the streets hand in hand it seems almost like the woman is leading whilst the guy is trailing. Also by observing body language it seems like the woman is more grounded and has more of her goals in check compared to the guy. Even those "goals" are probably some superficial nonsense like building her social media portfolio.

I also know of some young women who advertise their boyfriends on social media. Like make typical girlish youtube/IG/facebook vids with them and what not. From what I can gather western women from ages of 18 - 23 are conditioned to be attracted to that typical "cute toy boy" look. It also doesn't help that due to the current state of society that Woman in that age bracket see guys from age 30 + as anything but Sugardaddies.

From the guys in the late millennial/zoomer generation that I know of a significant number have told me that they have got into relationships in which the girl asked for their number first and not the other way round.

In fact guys nowadays are so soy and effeminate that If you casually approached a western women in the 18-23 age bracket with well grounded game and social calibration she will just give you a stunned deer in the headlights look and walk away. They are just not used to and conditioned not to be attracted to masculinity at all.

It actually reminds me of my younger days (I am 29 now). When I was skinnier and dare I say more handsome (in a boyband looking way) I attracted more women. These days not so much.

Nowadays I am more muscular, much more masculine, more socially calibrated, on NO FAP almost regularly and don't seem to get that level of attraction that I once used to have. Only plus side Is that I get more respect from Men nowadays especially when walking down the street. Less people willing or wanting to piss me off. When I have a conversation at work or with people in my social circle I find that men nowadays are more inclined to agree with my point of view than 4/5 years ago.

I guess there is a trade off in everything lol
 

Matianus

Sparrow
A big problem with online dating is most women post pictures which amount to soft-core pornography. I am finding it better to avoid these apps so not to slip into temptation.
 

robinman

Sparrow
I see that many man don't understand, that women see online dating apps different than we. They don't use them for dating. Mostly. When online dating was new- yes, many women wanted to try- how it is, to have sex with whatever man they want. They tried it, and thats all. Those times are gone. Because females biologically are different. They don't have this hormonal pressure, and constant need for sex, that males have. They just wanted to try it, cause it was new and exciting. Now they mostly use those apps for feeding themselves with false illusion , that all man want them. They don't need real action, real sex, as much as we need. This illusion is enough for them. They compensate somehow their poor existence this way.
But there was an excellent comment by one women, on reddits red pill woman's forum- she wrote, that many women don't understand that , if a man want to take her home for one night, it doesn't mean, that he will want to take her home for Christmas.

So- misunderstanding still goes both ways...
Women don't need online dating apps when they have social media. That's why Tinder gender ratio is so skewed
 

Matianus

Sparrow
Checked out the field on my local online dating apps this week. Total disaster - two to three passably-attractive women for every hundred fatties, addicts, and single moms. Half the women put things in their profile like “I’ll ruin your life” or “I’m crazy lol”

Disaster.
Don't forget trannies. They comprise maybe 25% of the online dating pool.

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mr-ed209

Sparrow
In their early days, dating apps were relatively niche in that they attracted the more 'adventurous' men and women. Most ordinary people didn't have the confidence to use them and would have felt a lot of shame to be found on there. I remember i was at university when Tinder first came out and many guys dismissed it as being too strange for them or simply did not know of its existence. It was seen as a bit of a niche thing; that progressive types might try out. (i mean progressive in the trying new things way, not in the woke sense it means today)

So for a little while, it served as a kind of non competitive place where no one really knew the rules. Was it a 'hook up' app, a dating app etc. One thing that helped its success early on though, was that most people on there were fairly decent value and high status. For a while, it was really only a known and used entity amongst university students. There was even a feature that would show if you held mutual friends with matches etc; which further enforced the status of people on there. Like how facebook earned its initial success by being a network of the high status Ivy League types.

I think the problem came when the app and smartphones became even more mainstream. Guys flooded the app, so competition went up. Then lower status people in general flooded it (single mums, attention whores, transexual freaks etc). The platform declined to the state that it exists now; whereby high value people are deterred from using it with any seriousness.
 
It actually reminds me of my younger days (I am 29 now). When I was skinnier and dare I say more handsome (in a boyband looking way) I attracted more women. These days not so much.
Your words are so true that it hurts. You either become effeminate to increase your chances with girls or become masculine to be respected by your fellow men. Last year, I was grounded in my masculinity. My success was lacking but I attracted the niche girls I wanted. My desperation went over the roof and I became more effeminate. Friends of mine lost respect but on the other hand I had more success with girls. The only girls that liked my masculine self were traditional-minded virgins, and I won't complain about that again.
 
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In the past the greatest achievements of being a man and being a woman were separate, the man to be a king of his craft and earn the respect of other men, the woman to be the queen of her household and have a few crafts herself. Now modern culture has put satisfying the individual ego as the apex of achievement: traveling the world, eating the coolest food, living in the coolest area.

This is because it makes the most money for corporations. But anyway, the effect on dating is that now the average basic person is looking for somebody that accessorizes their life and is good to show off.

Basic girls want a good-looking but beta guy who will worship them, so they can post pics on IG and thus show that because some guy will worship them that they are a valuable person.

RE: online dating. If you're not in top 20% with looks/job/social standing, and don't have a realistic chance then just get off it ASAP. Spend time curating your hobbies and put yourself into an isolated social structure like a sports group or a biking/running club, etc. You will show your true self and get a quality girl.

If you're top 20%, you can clean up online but the girls are usually going to be banging you because you're top 20% not because of who you are inside. Double-edged sword.
 
RE: online dating. If you're not in top 20% with looks/job/social standing, and don't have a realistic chance then just get off it ASAP. Spend time curating your hobbies and put yourself into an isolated social structure like a sports group or a biking/running club, etc. You will show your true self and get a quality girl.
Going to a church that enforces Biblical Law is the best place to go. You have to avoid femininized churches where women have the upper hand and men are mere shadows of what they ought to be. One post described to join a church and friendzone all girls and have your pick. This is the best advice when you want to have a godly girl quick and easy.
 
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I read posts from western guys here, and i see, that in eastern Europe situation is slightly different. Here is small percentage of hipster girls- they , as i see , stick with feminine hipster guys,and i never ever seen any of them, walking around with "Chad" type guy. Then here is small amount of very attractive young girls, who aren't hipsters- they spend time with Chads. And the rest is average girls, and they have average boyfriends- they want to feel some "pussy power" over them and at the same time they don't want feminine guys. Just average guy is ok for them. And of course- here is a lot of fatties too- but i really don't know what they are doing- nobody wants them. The " moral " here in EU is, that you can't be the universal guy for all types of women. It doesn't work nowadays.
 
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Potentially weird question: has anyone tried to get a date through Twitter or a similar social media site? In Christian/right wing circles I have seen several women say they met their husbands through Twitter. I'm curious about whether this could be effective.

I did have a long distance date that started through Twitter messages one time. We were mutuals, and I sent some DMs. We had 2 Skype dates before she said wasn't prepared for a long distance relationship. My sense is that the opportunities to do so are sporadic.
 

animum-rege

Sparrow
Potentially weird question: has anyone tried to get a date through Twitter or a similar social media site? In Christian/right wing circles I have seen several women say they met their husbands through Twitter. I'm curious about whether this could be effective.

I did have a long distance date that started through Twitter messages one time. We were mutuals, and I sent some DMs. We had 2 Skype dates before she said wasn't prepared for a long distance relationship. My sense is that the opportunities to do so are sporadic.

Sure, but I don't see this as online dating. It's just a way to get in contact with like-minded people. Like asking a girl out that you meet at an event. I went out with a girl after we were on the same Zoom conference call and started privately chatting. It wasn't planned, we just struck up a conversation and discovered a connection. This has also happened on LinkedIn, cold outreach networking that turned into a coffee date.

While it is nice if it happens, and there's nothing wrong with respectfully putting yourself out there, the fact that it's not a dating site definitely shrinks the odds of success. And especially because women are, understandably, extra defensive about internet strangers. You definitely want to be in the mindset of, "You seem like a cool person and I want to get to know you" vs "Hey, wanna get a coffee :)" (but you know that, of course).
 

Georges89

Sparrow
I've been threatening to delete hinge for a while now. I tend to be able to match with OK girls but it's led to a lot of short term relationships that haven't really gone anywhere longer term. I'm single again now and to be honest contemplating whether it's worth it. Constantly swiping, starting up the same old conversations and so on. You get tired of it after a while. To be honest, the reality is that it's quite a soul destroying experience. At the very least, I think time for a break.

I don't know where I'll meet girls IRL now, given we're still in a kind of lockdown in the UK, but there are options. I've never found being setup by a friend has worked that well but maybe this could be the time to explore those kind of avenues. Maybe even stopping a girl on the street and asking her about her dog. The problem is, 2020 appears to be a more logical time to be using the app, even though they tend to lead to disappointment. So stopping using the apps would be stopping that avenue, but who knows, it would be an interesting expirement to see what 'real life' opportunities might open up back. It's just a matter of being open to them and also with a bit of motivation to do some cold approaches.

Any other single bros on here not been on the apps over this time period? How has it been?
 

Coja Petrus Uscan

Hummingbird
Gold Member
Any other single bros on here not been on the apps over this time period? How has it been?

The only online dating websites worth using, by and large, for our purposes are religious ones. I don't know what Hinge (it sounds like a gay satanic night club) is, but everything about Tinder and Badoo is geared towards juicing app use and not making connections. The layout and the fact they are phone based enhance their disposable nature and attract a certain crowd. Your best bet if you are going to use them is filter out any profile that doesn't say anything about wanting to settle down or family. They lure you in with makeup and bobs to bring out your lower instincts. The girls there are low on attributes that will lead to anything and have been attracted to a low-attention span glow of instant and never-ending validation.

Dating apps are not too different from lingerie catalouges. I bet a lot of guys pull their beans while sliding their paw whichever way it is. You will see a considerable difference in the robes and the spirit of the faces on Christian sites. Christian sites are also a lot smaller. While with Tinder there may be a few hundred girls on it in a town, there is probably no one on a Christian site in your town, unless you live in a city. This breeds a nature more like a quite village rather than a hedonist city. Rather than hoping some girl might like the look of your face as she scrolls through her daily 100 messages, a girl on a Christian site probably won't get a message per day. They are also all paid, which weeds out all the low-attention span, barely serious women.

But if you've just come off dating apps you probably need a spiritual detox.
 

animum-rege

Sparrow
When I used dating apps, Hinge had the highest quality women on it by far (which is all relative, and not saying much). It has a reputation as the "relationship" app (slogan: "Designed to be deleted").

It's tough for me to have a definitive opinion on dating apps. The negatives have been articulated many, many times. But on the positive side, if your criteria is strict, then it is to your benefit to have access to the widest pool of options.

If you're looking for a high-quality woman AND one who desires a relationship AND is religious, those are really aggressive filters. That search query isn't going to yield many results at all. If you plug in another criteria — AND is someone I meet in person — you are going to have very few results.

Whether you're looking to get paper towels, ammo, or a relationship with a high-quality woman, the ability of the internet to match demand and supply is unmatched.

It's just that using dating apps feels so degrading.
 
I checked out Hinge, but it honestly just looks like a tinder clone. I will never understand why people thought the swiping mechanic was a good idea. I've had the best luck with Match.com lately (not saying much).
 
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