lonetraveler
Pigeon
I've had zero luck with Hinge. There is always that hope that "this one will be different" when trying a new app, but it's not.
Online dating in 2007 vs now: what the h-ll happened?
- Thread starter Oscar Henri
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MajorStyles
Pelican
One notable debasement - if we are comparing 2007 to today - is the proliferation of mass tattooing. That type of body art on women was not ubiquitous in 2007, but it sure is today.
In 2007, I might have been able to "save" a wayward gal. But now, if she's already covered in body ink, there's no point in even trying.
In 2007, I might have been able to "save" a wayward gal. But now, if she's already covered in body ink, there's no point in even trying.
MovingForward2050
Pelican
Yes, an excellent point. My significant other found a western guy online (she already had me, an American expat) and he actually flew out to meet her! And she met him initially via Facebook, and not a dating website. She claims that when he invited her to his hotel room, that she felt deep guilt, confessed to him that she was not single, and came straight home and did not go to bed with him. Her tearful excuse was that I had not paid off her large debts yet, and she was desperate. If only she had told me about them a year before I permanently moved out here, when I could worked more, saved more and dealt with them quickly.
Now every time I see her looking at her phone, I wonder what she is really doing... And I wonder how many backburner guys she has lined up... I now feel psychological pain and discomfort whenever I see her quietly using her cell phone. They call it a "box of dicks" for a reason...
Social media allows "good women" to cast their nets for men, but at the same time, with strong deniability of doing anything wrong. Because after all, it's not like you caught her with a profile on Tinder! Lol
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La Águila Negra
Pelican
She cheated on you and tried to turn it around by making you the guilty one?
What's so special about her that makes you willing to expatriate to the third world, take care of her and her 4 children and take this emotional abuse/ emasculation on top of it?
Don't let yourself get played. Tell her about your doubts and say that you want access to her phone
No reason to put up with this sort of bs.
You are the catch here, not her.
MovingForward2050
Pelican
Chasing Chads. Women are slowly realizing the dating mess is their fault.
I'd been meeting a girl recently. Very hot body, cute face. This completely disarmed me of my normal facilities. Truth is she has thrown a lot of red flags, but I thought I could just overcome them. Plus she was also very submissive and accepted the barriers I put up to her nonsense.
But a couple of days ago she took me to a costume shop. I assumed she wanted me to buy her something. She pulls out her phone and starts messaging an unknown guy for money to buy a costume. I was like, "What da?!?" so I just walked off.
She messaged me to ask why I left. There is obviously something seriously wrong with someone who didn't even realise that would be a problem. She denied she did it and then asked for 7 euros for food. I said, "No. We won't see each other again." She said she isn't going to try and prove she didn't do it, then went onto try and prove she did not do it. I did not reply and now I'm blocked. *
@MovingForward2050 , if I was you I would do the same.
* I suspect she has fished guys offline to buy her stuff. I don't think it's a point from where rehabilitation can start.
I think for women and some men it has become an addiction to have a backup stream. They can have one serious prospect, but they keep numerous others warm. Anyone who is serious and not duplicitous would focus on one person.
But a couple of days ago she took me to a costume shop. I assumed she wanted me to buy her something. She pulls out her phone and starts messaging an unknown guy for money to buy a costume. I was like, "What da?!?" so I just walked off.
She messaged me to ask why I left. There is obviously something seriously wrong with someone who didn't even realise that would be a problem. She denied she did it and then asked for 7 euros for food. I said, "No. We won't see each other again." She said she isn't going to try and prove she didn't do it, then went onto try and prove she did not do it. I did not reply and now I'm blocked. *
@MovingForward2050 , if I was you I would do the same.
* I suspect she has fished guys offline to buy her stuff. I don't think it's a point from where rehabilitation can start.
I think for women and some men it has become an addiction to have a backup stream. They can have one serious prospect, but they keep numerous others warm. Anyone who is serious and not duplicitous would focus on one person.
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ginsu
Woodpecker
Great point. These apps are set up to be highly addictive and you can lose touch with yourself. If you go too far in them you have to detox like any other addiction or you will not be able to sustain a healthy relationship when that lust demon is still lurking in the background telling you to check out new girls.
Right she felt guilty only when he invited her to the hotel room. I've heard such a story before from one of my exes. She went up to a background dancers hotel room at night, but they only ''talked''. She didn't feel guilty all this time when he was flirting with her and making clear his plans to spend the night in a hotel when he flew over to meet her... Women know that if they confess half of the truth they score a lot of points, and you will probably trust her more from now on. She told me the ''truth'' after all !. If you choose to stay with this woman then you are accepting the fact that she will probably cheat on you a bunch more times. Where there smoke there is fire. You will only ever get to see the tip of the iceberg, but that is enough. If you can get this woman then you also get a different third world girl who wouldn't cheat on you. Your choice. You only deserve better if you think you do.
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Againstallodds
Robin
There is your problem. Guys here are still waiting and hoping for this unicorn good looking girl who has been unscathed by the modern dating scene. Those girls don't exist. I know because I been with hot chicks and I know how hard they ride the carousel. they deal with way more temptation so odds are very high they will succumb. I think that's another difference between now and the pre 2010 era. Back then you could easily find a hot girl who wasn't on dating websites who didn't go clubbing every weekend. They were common.
Guys forget looks they don't mean shit. Focus on other aspects.
Easy_C
Peacock
I have anecdotally observed that very often those girls are thirsty for guys who are both semi-respectable and not highly effeminized. I've seen some type of dudes like that (very often military) have a lot of good options in such places.
MajorStyles
Pelican
Modern women sleep on a bed of lies: i.e. the “you-go-girl” planets of Facebook and Twitter. Also, the Challahwood movies they watch are filled with handsome men that continually debase themselves to win the leading lady’s favor. These women then walk into the real world with these blurred lines, unable to distinguish fact from fantasy.
Then they meet a man that won’t take their shit…that won’t allow himself to be debased without repercussion. The juxtaposition of this reality is too much for them to deal with.
Many will end up like Carrie Fischer. The "Rebel Princess" ended up alone, mentally ill, full of anti-depressants, and ranting about “Orange Man bad” from a metropolitan apartment building.
I do wish they can be saved…but they must do it themselves. And they must do it before it’s too late.
Garuda
Woodpecker
When these women get with a white man and get rejected, they immediately jump on the SJW train. Their level of activism directly correlates with the level of scorn that they feel. It seems whites have to screen their minority dates for any motivation derived from self hate. Latinas are the least likely to do this since most already have European blood.
AntoniusofEfa
Kingfisher
A recent study by Mobile Journey Marketing cloud provider Ogury reveals a massive gender imbalance amongst dating app users in various countries. This imbalance was greatest in Italy – where 91% of dating app users are male.
Key findings include:
• 85% of the UK’s dating app user base is male. On Tinder this figure is even higher, with roughly one female user for every nine male users.
• Tinder is UK’s most popular online dating service, followed by Plenty of Fish, Badoo, Grindr and then Bumble. Of this top five, Grindr had the highest percentage of active users.
• Across all countries studied, people were more active on dating apps on Mondays than any other day, followed by Sunday.
Source: http://www.netimperative.com/2019/0...-9-to-1-while-grinder-wins-for-age-diversity/
I personally had the nicest interactions at a Salsa meetup. Myself being very average looking (and I have been lifting for two years now), I do much better when I actually get the chance to talk.
While I do not have much money, I would not want to flash it to get attention. Maybe When I am older, I will tease them with my money, like Tom Leykis.
Key findings include:
• 85% of the UK’s dating app user base is male. On Tinder this figure is even higher, with roughly one female user for every nine male users.
• Tinder is UK’s most popular online dating service, followed by Plenty of Fish, Badoo, Grindr and then Bumble. Of this top five, Grindr had the highest percentage of active users.
• Across all countries studied, people were more active on dating apps on Mondays than any other day, followed by Sunday.
Source: http://www.netimperative.com/2019/0...-9-to-1-while-grinder-wins-for-age-diversity/
I personally had the nicest interactions at a Salsa meetup. Myself being very average looking (and I have been lifting for two years now), I do much better when I actually get the chance to talk.
While I do not have much money, I would not want to flash it to get attention. Maybe When I am older, I will tease them with my money, like Tom Leykis.
MovingForward2050
Pelican
From the article:
"American women are slightly more likely than those in Europe to use dating apps, but still only make up 27% of users overall. In comparison, only 15% of British dating app users are women. This trend was even noticeable amongst more “female-friendly” apps like Bumble, (where female users have to send the first message), whose user base is over 80% male."
I had no idea American women only make up 27% of all online dating website users overall! No wonder things are tough for men online. But if this were true, wouldn't "day game" still be very effective?
I suppose more than ever, joining real world social networks, via church, school, work, friends, family, etc., is a key way to meet quality women where you have a fighting chance and you are valued.
The Catalyst
Ostrich
One of my favorite guilty pleasures back in the day in NZ was to pretend to be a girl on OKC and absolutely troll the hell out of the dudes there. Some of the most fun I've had. Kind of messed up but it was way better than actually trying to get a girl there.
AntoniusofEfa
Kingfisher
Remember that the good stuff gets picked off early, just like at the fruit and veggie aisle. Having said that, making some money at the age of 35, not being average in looks (obese is average in the west) and having an interesting life, still positions you to be able to pick off a woman in the prime of their attractiveness (18 to 27 for me) for fun, or for settling down.
Real life approaches still offer a much better return on investment, and you have basically no other option if your looks are just average. Also, Tinder & Co are mostly just very demoralizing. Hopefully enough guys will avoid these apps altogether and just let the parent company burn.
It will be interesting to see the COVID effect on online dating. I figure that the women just preferred to stay put and date in their immediate social circle.
Another interesting market research study, this time with a small group of 1000 participants. This is, however, a study not based on data analysis.
" A new Ipsos poll finds that nearly half of Americans believe dating now is worse than dating 20 years ago (49%) with men significantly more likely than women to believe dating now is better (33% and 19% respectively). Seven in 10 men say they pay when they go on a first date,and the top reason for this is because it is just a habit to pay (43%). The top reason that women pay is due to their desire to demonstrate that they possess enticing qualities (26%)while 29% say they never pay for a first date "
" These are some of the findings of an Ipsos poll conducted between January 29-30, 2019.For this survey, a sample ofroughly 1,005adults age18+ from the continental U.S., Alaska, and Hawaiiwas interviewedonline in English. The sample includes 459 males and 546 females. "
Source: https://ogury.com/perspectives/rese...udy-how-lovers-match-in-a-mobile-first-world/
I deleted my hinge app today. I just couldn't bear it anymore, it had become quite demoralising. I think COVID has created a lot more volatility on the app, almost like the financial markets. I've been ghosted a lot more in the past few months, more than I ever have been really. Meets ups are proposed, then they go silent or delete my profile, or make up flakey excuses. I get quite a few matches but its trying to generate conversation knowing a great deal of them are going to go silent or not even reply.
They are basically looking for their chad, and if you are not quite up to scratch, you'll be upgraded and ghosted. That is the sad truth of it. Female hypergamy in essence.
I feel relief not having the app, and its only now after deleting it, I realise how often I was using it. It was a massive time suck, and it didn't even make me feel good. So you end up wondering why you're spending so much time on this app and its making you feel like shit. They suck you in with the validation loop and it ultimately becomes addictive. I have noticed this strange sense that I'm 'lacking' something today and its quite odd. I think it may take a few weeks to completely clear the withdrawel symptoms.
I figured I'd rather be single then deal with the bullshit on the apps, not to mention the disappointing relationships that come out of it. Even if it will be two years, I'd rather invest the time into myself and workout how to meet women again IRL. I think getting away from porn would also be a good step so I'd be a bit move motivated for cold approaches. Ultimately, the apps fuel this idea that you are in a race against time against other men, which ultimately you are, but why play for those kind of odds in the first place?
I do wonder how man single women AREN'T on the apps these days. I guess I'll find out. There are already opportunities to meet women in this lockdown limbo, even if its not 'ideal'.
They are basically looking for their chad, and if you are not quite up to scratch, you'll be upgraded and ghosted. That is the sad truth of it. Female hypergamy in essence.
I feel relief not having the app, and its only now after deleting it, I realise how often I was using it. It was a massive time suck, and it didn't even make me feel good. So you end up wondering why you're spending so much time on this app and its making you feel like shit. They suck you in with the validation loop and it ultimately becomes addictive. I have noticed this strange sense that I'm 'lacking' something today and its quite odd. I think it may take a few weeks to completely clear the withdrawel symptoms.
I figured I'd rather be single then deal with the bullshit on the apps, not to mention the disappointing relationships that come out of it. Even if it will be two years, I'd rather invest the time into myself and workout how to meet women again IRL. I think getting away from porn would also be a good step so I'd be a bit move motivated for cold approaches. Ultimately, the apps fuel this idea that you are in a race against time against other men, which ultimately you are, but why play for those kind of odds in the first place?
I do wonder how man single women AREN'T on the apps these days. I guess I'll find out. There are already opportunities to meet women in this lockdown limbo, even if its not 'ideal'.
Deleting all dating apps is the single best choice you can ever make in life. It took me a while to learn this lesson. I kept hoping. Ever since I deleted all my apps and truly moved on from ever thinking about "what if", I have become happier, I have more time and I have more money. Dating apps are nothing but an emotion and monetary drain you. You will not find what you are looking for on dating apps. Yes, you've heard the stories of the people that do but it's like winning the lottery and you don't invest your life savings into the lottery, do you?
The problem with dating apps is that the women who use them get trained by the apps to become greedy. There is a constant rotation of desserts on the dessert tray as a woman so women get trained to always want more. You will never amount to their expectations with dating apps and she will treat you as if you don't amount to her expectations. You will feel the way she treats you as being lesser than what she truly desires in the relationship and the second she decides she's tired of you or has found a suitable replacement guy, she moves on.
Unless you want to date a desperate fat ugly girl, just delete dating apps and never install them ever again.
The problem with dating apps is that the women who use them get trained by the apps to become greedy. There is a constant rotation of desserts on the dessert tray as a woman so women get trained to always want more. You will never amount to their expectations with dating apps and she will treat you as if you don't amount to her expectations. You will feel the way she treats you as being lesser than what she truly desires in the relationship and the second she decides she's tired of you or has found a suitable replacement guy, she moves on.
Unless you want to date a desperate fat ugly girl, just delete dating apps and never install them ever again.
Yep, its generally speaking a one way ticket to frustration, demoralisation and a loss of self esteem. The sad thing is, you wonder how the interactions would have gone if you met the same women in real life. The whole process would have surely been more enjoyable.
I think the dating apps and porn together create a toxic mixture. Men become to afraid to approach women, and too lazy to approach women.
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Particularly if you are on the dating apps you will likely find your ego fluffing itself. An 8 messaged me. I went on a date with an 8 or a 19 year old. You are likely validating yourself with those things in your mind. If you are not in the worldly top 10% you're probably just grabbing on to the odd message from a 5. If you absolutely have to use online dating/apps make sure it's one where at least one party has to pay, as it levels the playing field and filters out low-interest, low-attention span people.
If you are measuring yourself by typically fleeting attention from women, playing x-rated films in your mind, allowing sex to cloud your mind, watching x-rated films/viewing nudey ladies, preoccupied with status, looking like you are a designer clothing clothes horse and so on - you are putting yourself in a world where there is always a desire for more, better - both from you and your flames.
I have been drawn to religious courtship since about Oct 2018. But the lure of always better, always more, another girl kept me in the world of secular dating. The experiences I've had and the knowledge I've gained since then has been useful. There is very little information in Western society on healthy relationships and how to start them. Luckily the forum is piecing it back together. The last experience with secular dating will be my last. I put a lot of effort in, but her mind is too possessed with the worldly. There was the possibility that years of rehabilitation could of fashioned something out of her, but she could just as easily end up as the 50% of women who divorce. And that is where we are as society full of men and women who both need years of rehabilitation before they can finally surrender to each other.
If you are on apps and on SlutTube you need years of rehabilitation. If you are watching porn, you have made woman your god. You pull your flesh totem at the glowing screen like some kind of primitive Savannah dweller, in a ritual of selling your civilization and soul to Al Goldstein. Being a tube addict is a statement that one woman is not enough. It's quite likely you need 10-100 women just to blow your beans. This is not a position to start a serious relationship from. There is a good chance it will take 1-3 years before you can get rid of your addiction to nudity and viewing videotaped evidence of prostitution.
There is a great unease in being a lewd addict. You have made your mind into one that always needs more and consumption only enlarges the appetite. The same with apps, gaming and other folly. There is a great peace when you can reach a position of seeking just one and what you have is enough.
Leave secular dating alone.
If you are measuring yourself by typically fleeting attention from women, playing x-rated films in your mind, allowing sex to cloud your mind, watching x-rated films/viewing nudey ladies, preoccupied with status, looking like you are a designer clothing clothes horse and so on - you are putting yourself in a world where there is always a desire for more, better - both from you and your flames.
I have been drawn to religious courtship since about Oct 2018. But the lure of always better, always more, another girl kept me in the world of secular dating. The experiences I've had and the knowledge I've gained since then has been useful. There is very little information in Western society on healthy relationships and how to start them. Luckily the forum is piecing it back together. The last experience with secular dating will be my last. I put a lot of effort in, but her mind is too possessed with the worldly. There was the possibility that years of rehabilitation could of fashioned something out of her, but she could just as easily end up as the 50% of women who divorce. And that is where we are as society full of men and women who both need years of rehabilitation before they can finally surrender to each other.
If you are on apps and on SlutTube you need years of rehabilitation. If you are watching porn, you have made woman your god. You pull your flesh totem at the glowing screen like some kind of primitive Savannah dweller, in a ritual of selling your civilization and soul to Al Goldstein. Being a tube addict is a statement that one woman is not enough. It's quite likely you need 10-100 women just to blow your beans. This is not a position to start a serious relationship from. There is a good chance it will take 1-3 years before you can get rid of your addiction to nudity and viewing videotaped evidence of prostitution.
There is a great unease in being a lewd addict. You have made your mind into one that always needs more and consumption only enlarges the appetite. The same with apps, gaming and other folly. There is a great peace when you can reach a position of seeking just one and what you have is enough.
Leave secular dating alone.