Online dating in 2007 vs now: what the h-ll happened?

Godward

Robin
I think a lot of the "christian" dating sites are well intentioned, but they suffer from several issues: overwhelmingly 30-45 yo women, uncertain connections even though commonalities should be there (you don't know the family, sorta the point of church), invasion by fake outside profiles, etc. Many of these would be worth a shot but the activation energy is tough because you do need a bit of a barrier (cost) to make it worthwhile, but for the guys paying for nominal/old western women (even if your own religion) seems silly.
Yes, I have experienced those isuses myself as well. To some degree, these issues can be managed. I personally do not date ladies above 30 (at least not until I am 40) and prevented them from contacting me (some sites provide that option). I could do this, because most professing/practising Christians in my country are female (although most of them are Evangelical, and thus rather Wordly), and this is also reflected in the demographics on Christian dating sites here (55% women and 45% men). The invasion of fake profiles is diminished significantly once there is a subscription treshhold (luckily, the site that I am costs only EUR 30,- a year, as it is a non-profit). But online dating still feels like Orpheus travelling to the Underworld to retrieve Eurydice.
 

Blade Runner

Ostrich
Orthodox
Pretty good overview:
Some realistic points, but tries to hard to be in the "middle" or "compromise" state. As such, he is compromised. If I didn't have to log into youtube, I would have commented on his lisp as being an obvious tell for him having little chances. It's like an audio physiognomy. I would hope to be proved wrong, but doubt it.

I wonder if these guys realize there are too many men out there relative to women, which created the bad culture in the first place, once we lost faith and tradition it was over easy peezy for the bad boys of society.
 

stugatz

Pelican
I can say that I was a frequent user of OKCupid from 2008-2013 or so - I refused to pay for online dating. I decided to put dating on the back burner in 2014 and haven't been nearly as adamant about it since then.

I did get a lot of dates on there - sometimes two a week. With significant effort, though, and I had to send out dozens of messages at a time until I got a few prospects. The vast majority went OK - as in I called them "pleasant flatlines". We had a nice conversation, but halfway through the date it was pretty obvious that one of us wasn't feeling it (usually her, sometimes me) and we never saw each other again.

I had some good dates that turned into something brief (as in maybe we had a handful of dates before it petered out). I had some good dates that sort of turned into relationships, but we never became official. I also had a handful of nightmare dates.

The common theme here, though, is that it was almost always a waste of time with unserious people, and usually stressed me out. This was pre-Tinder, though - I can't imagine how much worse it is now, and really don't miss it. I'll have to really make myself get into the correct headspace to start making courting women a priority again...sometimes I doubt I ever will.
 

Easy_C

Peacock
I started using only niche, pay walled off sites for that reason. The harder a site is to use the more serious the people on it tend to be.

Same reason the Internet itself became garbage the moment normie-focused “apps” became the default mode of use
 

stugatz

Pelican
I started using only niche, pay walled off sites for that reason. The harder a site is to use the more serious the people on it tend to be.

Same reason the Internet itself became garbage the moment normie-focused “apps” became the default mode of use
I was a lot less socially adept at the beginning of college (while I was in better shape physically, women sensed that I was a little too excited to date and that never helped me). That said, I was still *really* good at striking up conversations based on a profile and talking them into getting coffee with me. Usually the dates would fail, but enough wouldn't.

Now - it's all pictures. I'd be swiping for a few weeks straight. No thank you.
 
I think women must just be numb to online attention.

When I meet a girl in person, she is typically very interested in me. Much more initiation on her part.

Compare this to online, and you hardly even get noticed. And to be clear, I am not some 6/10 guy... I have an elite physique and a handsome face. Online I feel like I am some out-of-shape loser, Jumping through stupid hoops before the interaction ultimately fizzles out.
 

stugatz

Pelican
I think women must just be numb to online attention.

When I meet a girl in person, she is typically very interested in me. Much more initiation on her part.

Compare this to online, and you hardly even get noticed. And to be clear, I am not some 6/10 guy... I have an elite physique and a handsome face. Online I feel like I am some out-of-shape loser, Jumping through stupid hoops before the interaction ultimately fizzles out.
I once went on a first date, she didn’t interest me much, but she initiated a second date that I showed up to...had nothing better to do and she was making me dinner. Second one went badly as well and she then sent me a text telling me she wasn’t interested.

I never got that when dating someone I met in a lecture or at work.
 

Coja Petrus Uscan

Hummingbird
Orthodox Inquirer
Gold Member
I think women must just be numb to online attention.

When I meet a girl in person, she is typically very interested in me. Much more initiation on her part.

Compare this to online, and you hardly even get noticed. And to be clear, I am not some 6/10 guy... I have an elite physique and a handsome face. Online I feel like I am some out-of-shape loser, Jumping through stupid hoops before the interaction ultimately fizzles out.

Someone pointed out before that these apps are made for women. There are 1000s of magazines for "men" full of women in various stages of undress. But there are one or two for women, that are mostly bought by homosexualists.

A lot of it is due to the nature of the program. Everything about Tinder, Badoo et. al. is geared towards the short-term and superficial. Even this bubble speech format induces basic conversations. Same with WhatsApp. They attract a certain type. Book worms and latent conservative women are not likely to be on them and soon to be disgusted.

Then, when you have a never-ending stream of messages it is hard for a woman to keep focus.
 
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