Only God Can Find You A Good Wife

Roosh

Cardinal
Originally posted on RooshV.com


For nearly two decades, I believed that game (i.e. pickup) was the best method men could use to find a wife. All a man had to do was master the art of seduction, interact with hundreds or thousands of women, sleep with many of them, and then, as if by magic, one “good” woman will fall in love with him through statistical probability and then he will live happily ever after. This belief was a result of incredible deception—my game efforts blocked the likelihood of a strong pair bond more than not. Now that I’m not running any game or approaching women at all, but serving God instead of the false god of game, my chances of marriage are infinitely higher.

The most common complaint I hear from men about my basic Christian stance against pre-marital sex and the use of game is that it makes the likelihood of marriage “impossible.” Dating and fornication are absolute requirements in order to marry, they insist, because women see them as requirements, and as men we must follow women and do what they want—as if we’re being held at gunpoint—or else we won’t get want we want, because following a woman into sin is acceptable in your quest to create a healthy family. If you approach marriage as a goal, as just as another life checkbox to be completed after losing your virginity, graduating from college, moving out of the house, and getting a career, then you are 100% correct that not having pre-marital sex would block the formation of marriage with a secular woman who is looking to put a checkmark next to marriage, because who is crazy enough to marry someone they haven’t yet diddled under the influence of alcohol?



In such a case, you will get your marriage, but with a rebellious woman. What you sign up for, quite literally on the dotted line, is a glorified roommate you have sex with and are legally required to provide for, but no more. God will not grace your marriage unless you subvert your worldly desire for marriage, a checkmark, to first serve Him.

Looking back at my experiences with women, I don’t see one that was worth marrying. How could that be? Didn’t I meet a thousand women in my life? Many thousands. I didn’t meet a good woman due to the fact that I was an odious fornicator, and God protects females who have faith in Him away from fornicators. All the women I dated and slept with were in a state of rebellion just like me. They wanted to have sex, I wanted to have sex, and we could fall together for fleeting ecstasy while thinking that we were adding to our lives when we were actually subtracting from it.

When you are in a state of rebellion, you will meet and attract the mirror reflection of yourself. Don’t believe for a second that you are so attractive or smooth that you corrupted a woman who chose God. If that was the case, and a woman who claimed to be walking with Christ slept with you quickly, her faith was for appearances only, to fool you into thinking she’s a “good” girl, and the type of man who can be fooled by a girl of dubious faith is one who has dubious faith himself.

But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all [things] shall be added to you. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble. —Matthew 6:33-34

You will fail if you put the search for a wife into your own hands, because out of the many billions of women on this planet, and all the flaws, weaknesses, and warning signs a woman can have, you will never be qualified enough to make the correct choice, no matter how much game you have or how many books you read. Only God can help you make the right choice. If you decide on a wife without faith, she will be decided by your penis. You will try to find a woman who is as physically attractive as you can land, just like every other man on this planet who is blinded by his lust instead of his thirst for Christ. You will spend the prime of your life searching the world for a girl whose value is way above yours, using incorrect standards that will make no bearing on her worth as a wife, and almost certainly fail in the end.



If you want a checkmark, go talk to a thousand women and persuade one to marry you. If you want arm candy, go to a favela or Asian slum and flash your cash. If you want not to be lonely, go find a woman who is scared of being alone just like you. But by choosing a wife in these ways, you will suffer from terrible regret, because we don’t live by checkmarks, lust, or companionship alone—we live to serve God, which your worldly choice denies.

So does that mean I’ve given up on marriage? Quite the opposite. Before, marriage gave up on me. I wasn’t mature or suitable enough. I was still a boy, though instead of crying out for candy, I cried out for sex, and what fruits could have possibly come from that? Only sex, and a passionate affair here or there that was based more on lust than love. I can tell you that as a 40-year-old man, I have never been in a real relationship. I have never loved a woman as Christ loves me. The incredible quantity of women I’ve talked to in my life has made no difference with that outcome—I could have met fifty thousand women and the result would have been the same.

Since I have accepted Jesus Christ as my Savior, I have not fornicated with a woman. I have approached less than ten women in total, and only did so because they were staring at me and I wanted to see if they were sent by God. I have been on wife interview meetings (i.e. dates) with three women, and used that time to evaluate them for marriage, not to test drive their bodies because I’m enslaved to my passions. With this new approach, I have not had any STD or pregnancy scares. I have not been stood up or treated like dirt. I have not had my heart broken or broken a woman’s heart, and even with these three woman, I arrived closer to the prospect of marriage than the experience of dating innumerable women before them.

The high quantity of interactions you must have with strangers to maintain a sex life is the killer of married life. The fewer women you talk to and get attached to, the better. The less you follow the desires of your passions, the more you can pray to God for help. If He wants me to have a wife, and believes it will aid in my salvation or the salvation of a woman, it will happen without me having to exert any psychological manipulations or strenuous effort. All I have to do is maintain my faith in Him and respond to the woman He sends with the masculinity, abilities, and speech that He gave me as I am. I have no current wife prospects, and don’t know when I will meet a woman again, but paradoxically I’m closer than ever to the prospect of marriage, and only God knows if it will one day happen. I leave it up to Him.



To a man with little or no faith, my words will have no effect. I must be wrong since I have no wife, and so he will look for flights to Ukraine, Colombia, or Thailand. He will strain to solve his problem himself through his material and sexual powers, and even if he finds a wife, she will be a wife in category only, because she is not bonded to him in any way beyond economics or emotional attraction, and he is only bonded to her because of an easily-broken marriage contract. What will keep them together? What will limit their vices and block out the growing evils of society that attempt to pull their new family apart? Nothing, because it’s only God that can find your wife and keep her by your side. It’s God we first serve when we enter into marriage, an institution that He created for our own good, and it’s God we will be married to even if we don’t happen to marry in this world.

Read Next: 6 Signs That A Woman Is In Rebellion


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Rockym

Pigeon
It’s God we will be married to even if we don’t happen to marry in this world.Rooshv

Church is the bride of the christ.A priest represents the christ and church is the bride.
 
Me personally I am not so religious but my question is even though you feel you are guided by God don't you feel you have to put yourself out there a little?

For example even if your religious if you want to run this forum you still have to put in the work if you pray to god you still have to physically carry out the editing or whatever just like any other business and you don't think the same goes for finding a wife?
 

Roosh

Cardinal
Me personally I am not so religious but my question is even though you feel you are guided by God don't you feel you have to put yourself out there a little?

For example even if your religious if you want to run this forum you still have to put in the work if you pray to god you still have to physically carry out the editing or whatever just like any other business and you don't think the same goes for finding a wife?
What do you define as "putting yourself out there"? I attend church regularly, help with my parish, maintain dialogues with people who follow my work online (male and female), and attend social functions when invited. Anything more for me would be secular tactics, but if you use secular tactics, you meet secular women.
 
What do you define as "putting yourself out there"? I attend church regularly, help with my parish, maintain dialogues with people who follow my work online (male and female), and attend social functions when invited. Anything more for me would be secular tactics, but if you use secular tactics, you meet secular women.
This is something I’ve also wondered about. Isn’t there a minimum level of game, money and appearance you need to have? I agree with you that if you focus on secular things you will attract secular women and once you cease to have these things the relationship will fall apart. Although, some guys out there are so beta I feel like even church girls will be repelled by their behavior and some guys I see really need to get back in shape and get their finances in order before they get married.
If you follow God most of these problems will correct themselves naturally. Like that C.S. Lewis quote from Mere Christianity “aim at Heaven and you will get Earth 'thrown in': aim at Earth and you will get neither.” However, I can’t help but think some guys I meet still need a little extra boost to get themselves a good girl. It’s hard to say though
 
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This is something I’ve also wondered about. Isn’t there a minimum level of game, money and appearance you need to have? I agree with you that if you focus on secular things you will attract secular women and once you cease to have these things the relationship will fall apart. Although, some guys out there are so beta I feel like even church girls will be repelled by their behavior and some guys I see really need to get back in shape and get their finances in order before they get married.
If you follow God most of these problems will correct themselves naturally. Like that C.S. Lewis quote from Mere Christianity “aim at Heaven and you will get Earth 'thrown in': aim at Earth and you will get neither.” However, I can’t help but think some guys I meet still need a little extra boost to get themselves a good girl. It’s hard to say though
This feels like a subset of the question of our given free will.
 

Going strong

Crow
Gold Member
The high quantity of interactions you must have with strangers to maintain a sex life is the killer of married life. The fewer women you talk to and get attached to, the better.
Even a not very religious man has to agree with the quote above. I mean, it's not only in this case a matter of following religious precepts, it's also a sound psychological, or life, advice. As indeed, the more you have "mini relationships" with different girlfriends, the more it'll be difficult for you to really strongly bond and fall in love.

Well, now, in my opinion it is not impossible to find true love, as a foreigner in "a favela, in Colombia, in Ukraine, or in Thailand". It is rather improbable maybe, but not absolutely impossible.

As to "trusting in God's plans" , it is I think a delicate balance, equilibrium, to strike. One has to trust God's plans, but one has to remain active, occupied, energetic, busy. Christianity I think wants men to work and be busy and probably even to take risks, we are not Buddhism. So yes, one has to trust in God and fate but one also has to keep busy, by working, helping his religious community (as Roosh does), writing, volunteering, fighting even...
 
I generally agree with this article.

But, I would distinguish “learned” game from “natural” game. Many (if not most) of the “game” characteristics were reverse-engineered from the naturals. Should we call such God-given attractiveness “evil”?

What seems to make it moral or immoral are your aims (the telos). Thus, using attractiveness rules (game) for one night stands is immoral (and the “fruit” is often tainted). However, using those same rules to de-program a man bathed in feminism or to keep a marriage alive seems noble.

Put differently, Game overlaps with heathy (& Godly) masculinity. Because there are so many female-lead households, boys never learn how to be men (just defective females—often Gamma males). So, learned game can be seen as a reaction to fatherlessness and feminism (just ask: why did our grandfathers not need game?).

The most important contribution of game is this: woman want to look up and be lead by their man; equality of the sexes is a toxic myth. Understanding that dynamic (building rules from those rules) can help in both a business and personal sense.

Here’s a deeper exploration of these ideas (and against people like Rollo Tomassi): https://threader.app/thread/1115732211322351616
 
Every player I knew who successfully deflowered an under 20 Christian girl and then ended up marrying her had a marriage that has lasted. Some of them cheat. Some of them remain faithful. All of them spent months working on the Christian girl while they fornicated with random sluts. All of them continued to fornicate with sluts in the very early stages after deflowering the Christian girl. In each case the male came from a family that practiced a more liberal or less serious form a Christianity. None of them were brought to anything other than a superficial Christianity by their wives.

This is not to advocate such a strategy, and my observation is anecdotal based on a handful of friends who followed this path. However, I always think about these guys when I find out that a more stereotypically beta Christian in my age range is getting divorced. Is the trend I noted real? If players focused on finding a young Christian girl to deflower, put in lots of effort, and then got out of the game, would they have successful marriages? The "puts in lots of effort" part is key. These wouldn't be the girls who fall for game right away. They would be the girls that are intrigued, but able to hold out on advances for months.
 

Blade Runner

Kingfisher
I'm a bit unclear on what you noticed, Stonewall. Are you saying that the red pill guys or players that you have noticed over the years had that deep down disdain for sluts, but still played around with them for their leisure, not totally jettisoning them, until they finally "conquered" the good girl they sought?

This is a good post and thread by Roosh, one certainly can't disagree in large part to its precepts. I will stay tuned as I'm sure more and more interesting comments will roll in. As I've said on other threads, the how-to of this discussion is very interesting. I think one can maximize possibilities which include activities that are not contrary to being faithful. That is what most seek these days. The problem I considered, as I arose this morning, is that in general male status has become inflated (similar to the idea that women already have needs met) and average looks/cooking (the quick proxy of physical vs caretaker or feminine trait) of women has plummeted. An idea instantly emerged that quickly shows the social disparity: a younger, above average looking woman will set off a chain reaction of social "pings". An above average man even with significant career success is orders of magnitudes lower in the realm of natural social connection.
 

Roosh

Cardinal
Every player I knew who successfully deflowered an under 20 Christian girl and then ended up marrying her had a marriage that has lasted. Some of them cheat. Some of them remain faithful. All of them spent months working on the Christian girl while they fornicated with random sluts. All of them continued to fornicate with sluts in the very early stages after deflowering the Christian girl. In each case the male came from a family that practiced a more liberal or less serious form a Christianity. None of them were brought to anything other than a superficial Christianity by their wives.

This is not to advocate such a strategy, and my observation is anecdotal based on a handful of friends who followed this path. However, I always think about these guys when I find out that a more stereotypically beta Christian in my age range is getting divorced. Is the trend I noted real? If players focused on finding a young Christian girl to deflower, put in lots of effort, and then got out of the game, would they have successful marriages? The "puts in lots of effort" part is key. These wouldn't be the girls who fall for game right away. They would be the girls that are intrigued, but able to hold out on advances for months.
From the Christian standpoint, if you know sexual immorality is wrong, and you try it anyway in order to create a good, you are tempting God.

To know the truth, but decide against it because you see some sinners presenting their relationship as successful is like a dog returning to its vomit. The question you should ask yourself is why you are putting at least some faith or credence in this immoral strategy. I see a lot of people on Facebook and Instagram who can effortlessly present themselves as "happy" without God's help. Does that mean I should duplicate what they have done?
 
I believe that many women could be good wives. The most successful marriages I saw are the ones where the culture does not humiliate men and where some leeway is given to the past sins of both husband and wife. Those that married young, no-matter silly they might have been in their teen years, seem to keep it together. Usually as soon as the kids are born the dynamic changes and they stick together more.

Pressure to keep things steady often comes from the elderly, at least here in Eastern Europe. It is a bit of stretch to expect a 19 year old to have the wisdom of someone in their 40s in a world full of temptations. The fathers play a key role, especially in protecting their daughters.

I can give no input on America since have never lived there. It seems like the law there is a huge problem as well as the stigma-free divorce. In Austria and Sweden the family seems a bit of a joke to anyone born after 1970.
 
I'm a bit unclear on what you noticed, Stonewall. Are you saying that the red pill guys or players that you have noticed over the years had that deep down disdain for sluts, but still played around with them for their leisure, not totally jettisoning them, until they finally "conquered" the good girl they sought?
I'm stating that I noticed a trend in my own life of marriages between semi-Christian (for lack of a better term) players and Christian girls working out long term. In each case the girl was a virgin, and made the player put in a lot of effort. Then I compare this to the beta Christians who revolved their social life after high school around extended "youth group culture," and who married their first girlfriend. Half of them are now divorced. I definitely think that the player method will not work to build a lasting marriage if you stick with it too long into life. But I wonder if there is a time frame earlier in life where it does work.

From the Christian standpoint, if you know sexual immorality is wrong, and you try it anyway in order to create a good, you are tempting God.

To know the truth, but decide against it because you see some sinners presenting their relationship as successful is like a dog returning to its vomit. The question you should ask yourself is why you are putting at least some faith or credence in this immoral strategy. I see a lot of people on Facebook and Instagram who can effortlessly present themselves as "happy" without God's help. Does that mean I should duplicate what they have done?
I'm not a player and never have been. From time to time I do think about the fact that 3 of the biggest players I've ever known married your stereotypical good Christian girls, and the marriages lasted. These were guys I knew in my early 20s. Some of my best friends to this day. I wonder how common this is. Your article brought this to mind.
 

Blade Runner

Kingfisher
Yes, I think Stonewall is just noticing that (as we've always said) the gatekeeper effect is the issue at hand and in turn creates quality when there is something to work with. I think this is the natural, intuitive conclusion and the advice that we give to women, indeed.
 
Yes, I think Stonewall is just noticing that (as we've always said) the gatekeeper effect is the issue at hand and in turn creates quality when there is something to work with. I think this is the natural, intuitive conclusion and the advice that we give to women, indeed.
What exactly is the gatekeeper effect? I'm fairly novice at game or red pill terms.
 

bucky

Ostrich
This is something I’ve also wondered about. Isn’t there a minimum level of game, money and appearance you need to have? I agree with you that if you focus on secular things you will attract secular women and once you cease to have these things the relationship will fall apart. Although, some guys out there are so beta I feel like even church girls will be repelled by their behavior and some guys I see really need to get back in shape and get their finances in order before they get married.
If you follow God most of these problems will correct themselves naturally. Like that C.S. Lewis quote from Mere Christianity “aim at Heaven and you will get Earth 'thrown in': aim at Earth and you will get neither.” However, I can’t help but think some guys I meet still need a little extra boost to get themselves a good girl. It’s hard to say though

I don't know if a bit of game is an absolute requirement, but I find it helps. I get that Roosh is trying to turn away from his sinful past in repudiating game, but I think of it as a tool that can be used for good or evil, much like a gun, and I'm glad I have some knowledge of it.

Back when this forum was full of degenerates and psychopaths and I mostly lurked here, the advice about women's nature, which I think of as the essence of game, was still useful to me. I just didn't use it in the same way those guys did. My wife is a devout Christian woman and meeting her is what got me back on the path to being a believer myself, but I still need to know things like what a shit test is and how to pass it, how to behave around her to maintain her level of attraction rather than killing it, and so on.
 

Blade Runner

Kingfisher
What exactly is the gatekeeper effect? I'm fairly novice at game or red pill terms.

That women are the gatekeepers of sex and a woman who is rightly oriented will demonstrate value and quality by acting in a particular manner and rewarding the right things. Notice that this is not stringing men along or playing games with them. It is understanding the right roles of men and women in healthy relationship.
 

KingDavid

Sparrow
That women are the gatekeepers of sex and a woman who is rightly oriented will demonstrate value and quality by acting in a particular manner and rewarding the right things. Notice that this is not stringing men along or playing games with them. It is understanding the right roles of men and women in healthy relationship.

The role of women goes even beyond that. After reading E. Micheal Jones' books there is a conclusion to be drawn: almost every man that turned away from logos was either betrayed by the woman he loved, or corrupted by the lust for a woman - right before the change in morals happened.

Men begin by loving the sexual liberation until they are betrayed by a woman they love, after which all they want to do is destroy society. You see this time and time again with thousands of historical figures. Women play a crucial role in moving the cycle of society - they are somehow intuitively attuned to politics and treat men according to that.

It's like they feel the ills of a society deeper and mirror it for all to see the moral corruption.
 
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