Amazing, Im certain they're Christian. Seculars dont have families of this size and beauty.
THIS should be a norm in a healthy society.
Family Orthodox marriage and family life
- Thread starter Viktor Zeegelaar
- Start date
Amazing, Im certain they're Christian. Seculars dont have families of this size and beauty.
THIS should be a norm in a healthy society.
Wanted to add two important things: (1) work on deleting your social media (or severely limiting it) and fighting cell phone addiction.
I gave up Twitter last year during the Great Purge of 2020. Gab is probably OK (it was clunky and in growing pains last year). Facebook is trash. Never had Instagram stuff.
Social media is downright Evil. The allure is worse for women (Satan seems to target the woman first to bring down the man as well). The trend seems to be dragging people into the virtual (where the Big Media companies--servants of Evil--control the narrative). Temptation often comes through what we see, and social media is perfecting that dark art.
As for a phone: I moved to a Linux phone called the Pinephone ($149). I run SXMO on it:
Basically, I have *no* apps to tempt me or malware to run. I think of it as the "nicotine gum" of phones (helping to kick the habit). I mainly use the Firefox browser on it. I can disable any of the hardware via hardware switches (such as the LTE modem). Essentially, it is a desktop-class OS running on a phone. Unfortunately, the hardware is the speed of something from 2013ish. Again: phones should not be so attractive so we can pair down their use (plus, I don't want to allow BigGov to force me to use a phone app as the proto-mark of the beast).
I use a monthly plan that provides 200 minutes and 1000 texts and 250MBs a month for $2.50. So, you and your wife can have a basic plan for $5/month.
The second thing: (2) Block Porn on your home internet. Do some research to force your DNS inquiries through a "family" dns service. I think of it as a good safety and backup because that trash is too accessible. Look, lust for Bathsheba even caught King David--a man after God's own heart. You and your wife are probably going to have different sex drives (as is normal). Better to talk and work through those issues than each going off on their own.... That stuff leads to divorces, but facing and overcoming those difficulties will improve your marriage.
I gave up Twitter last year during the Great Purge of 2020. Gab is probably OK (it was clunky and in growing pains last year). Facebook is trash. Never had Instagram stuff.
Social media is downright Evil. The allure is worse for women (Satan seems to target the woman first to bring down the man as well). The trend seems to be dragging people into the virtual (where the Big Media companies--servants of Evil--control the narrative). Temptation often comes through what we see, and social media is perfecting that dark art.
As for a phone: I moved to a Linux phone called the Pinephone ($149). I run SXMO on it:
Basically, I have *no* apps to tempt me or malware to run. I think of it as the "nicotine gum" of phones (helping to kick the habit). I mainly use the Firefox browser on it. I can disable any of the hardware via hardware switches (such as the LTE modem). Essentially, it is a desktop-class OS running on a phone. Unfortunately, the hardware is the speed of something from 2013ish. Again: phones should not be so attractive so we can pair down their use (plus, I don't want to allow BigGov to force me to use a phone app as the proto-mark of the beast).
I use a monthly plan that provides 200 minutes and 1000 texts and 250MBs a month for $2.50. So, you and your wife can have a basic plan for $5/month.
The second thing: (2) Block Porn on your home internet. Do some research to force your DNS inquiries through a "family" dns service. I think of it as a good safety and backup because that trash is too accessible. Look, lust for Bathsheba even caught King David--a man after God's own heart. You and your wife are probably going to have different sex drives (as is normal). Better to talk and work through those issues than each going off on their own.... That stuff leads to divorces, but facing and overcoming those difficulties will improve your marriage.
Last edited:
Great points. Me and my wife thinking of keeping our smartphones but switching to the cheapest talk and text only plans.
We've realized the only usable feature on the phone is Google Maps, and that can be downloaded to be used off line.
I actually picked up a Garmin GPS for the road. Cell GPS will talk to cell towers along the way (old skool GPS does not). Get a paper map as well.
Last year they stared rolling out a system between US states that would (1) register you as a visitor from out-of-state, and then (2) prompt you to complete a web form (allegedly for Covid) on your phone. Uh, no thank you (if using a paper map/ old skool GPS).
If/when things get weirder (say, interstate border checks), they will start with iOS/Android devices first (90%+ of people). Heck, in Massachusetts, Google force-downloaded a Covid contact-tracing app for everyone. Apple already added Covid-bits to their software last year. Using something like a Pinephone helps to reduce their control over you.
One other bit: start creating your own curated media (I use Plex to store MP3s and video in my own sanitized cloud). Netflix and Amazon are pushing trans-nonsense and other evils more and more. You need to basically blacklist everything, and then carefully add stuff. It's tiresome, but important with children.
Last year they stared rolling out a system between US states that would (1) register you as a visitor from out-of-state, and then (2) prompt you to complete a web form (allegedly for Covid) on your phone. Uh, no thank you (if using a paper map/ old skool GPS).
If/when things get weirder (say, interstate border checks), they will start with iOS/Android devices first (90%+ of people). Heck, in Massachusetts, Google force-downloaded a Covid contact-tracing app for everyone. Apple already added Covid-bits to their software last year. Using something like a Pinephone helps to reduce their control over you.
One other bit: start creating your own curated media (I use Plex to store MP3s and video in my own sanitized cloud). Netflix and Amazon are pushing trans-nonsense and other evils more and more. You need to basically blacklist everything, and then carefully add stuff. It's tiresome, but important with children.
Bro you basically have my dream life. Good on you bro. I'm in an apartment with no TV, no wi-fi and no-gf
I'm laying the seeds for my future to be like your present. Seriously, congrats dude!
I found this powerful little gem:
When Bishop Tikhon talks about wise women learning to be helpers of men, this cleverly addresses the toxicity of feminism. A woman's need to be a helper is also bolstered by what Ann Barnhardt (a Catholic) wrote here: Go Clean Up the Kitchen, You Stupid, Stupid Woman.
Reflecting on Tikhon's words, once husband and wife know their proper roles, the heavier burden will fall on the man to love his wife (her mere obedience is easy, by contrast). This is why, I think, he focuses on the importance of building a friendship with her as well. Can you really love that which you don't know or care to know? I know that this is true in my marriage, and our ability to be friendly was (in retrospect) what set her apart from other women.
When Bishop Tikhon talks about wise women learning to be helpers of men, this cleverly addresses the toxicity of feminism. A woman's need to be a helper is also bolstered by what Ann Barnhardt (a Catholic) wrote here: Go Clean Up the Kitchen, You Stupid, Stupid Woman.
Reflecting on Tikhon's words, once husband and wife know their proper roles, the heavier burden will fall on the man to love his wife (her mere obedience is easy, by contrast). This is why, I think, he focuses on the importance of building a friendship with her as well. Can you really love that which you don't know or care to know? I know that this is true in my marriage, and our ability to be friendly was (in retrospect) what set her apart from other women.
Great points, me and my wife we talk a lot on various subjects, especially culture. However, I do miss on a good male friend sometimes.
Woman still going to be a woman. Even as traditional and feminine one like mine, they tend to be emotions driven and at times I cant have a rational conversation.
Or she loves any subject family and children related. And there's only that much I can chat about it without getting bored.
A man needs to spend some time in company of other men for balance.
That's a good point, @thetruewhitenorth.
There are certain topics that women are not well equipped to handle, such as in this funny meme posted by @Guriko:
Men excel at policing the borders of the Tribe (both literally and metaphysically, as explored by Donovan in, "The Way of Men.") This is one reason why women are terrible military leaders, philosophers and priests/pastors. The same instincts which make them wonderful helpers, make them terrible leaders.
So, I don't discuss such border issues with my wife other than to pronounce certain things just are. I know her (unguided) instincts lead her to muddled/clouded thinking. This is also why women who latch onto "politics-as-emancipation" (BLM, women's march, etc...) become deeply damaged psychologically. Such women spurn real men in favor of creating a Big Daddy Government to "protect" them and infantilize others (ex: Australia and New Zealand).
Just as you stated above: Women and men need their own spaces and friends as well.
There are certain topics that women are not well equipped to handle, such as in this funny meme posted by @Guriko:
Men excel at policing the borders of the Tribe (both literally and metaphysically, as explored by Donovan in, "The Way of Men.") This is one reason why women are terrible military leaders, philosophers and priests/pastors. The same instincts which make them wonderful helpers, make them terrible leaders.
So, I don't discuss such border issues with my wife other than to pronounce certain things just are. I know her (unguided) instincts lead her to muddled/clouded thinking. This is also why women who latch onto "politics-as-emancipation" (BLM, women's march, etc...) become deeply damaged psychologically. Such women spurn real men in favor of creating a Big Daddy Government to "protect" them and infantilize others (ex: Australia and New Zealand).
Just as you stated above: Women and men need their own spaces and friends as well.
The family as an essential place to fight the ''sickness'' of modern life.
We’ve been married for about 16 months now. Both Orthodox. She converted before I did, but both of us independently converted before we met. God gave us Theodore in March of ‘21. In many ways she is a grace from God as well. She was homeschooled, so she was pretty based as a baseline already.
Our relationship dynamic is pretty much how it should be. She stays home with the kids (I have a 9 year old from a previous, secular marriage), homeschools the nine year old, cooks, and cleans, waits on me hand and foot. God is very kind to us. She meets with a couple of other sisters from church who also are homemakers and she gets advice from them because they’re a couple years older and have experience with children.
I’m the spiritual head of the household, and she defers to me on important matters of faith, finances and the world as I keep my “ear to the street” so to speak, and guide them to the right direction. So far, we’re the only ones from both our families that have not got the vax. We gather at the icons twice a day, but i often see her praying an akathist during the day if something isn’t going well. She also listens to Fr. Kosmas while cooking. She had a bad feeling about Archbishop Elpidophoros before I even had to tell her why.
We’ve only quarreled once and it was due to a misunderstanding, confessed and moved on. Personality-wise we’re complete opposites, but it works for us. She’s an INFP and I’m an ISTP if that even matters.
We’re very patient with each other. We read that St. John Chrysostom book from the OP a couple Christmas ago.
Honestly, I wasn’t even looking that hard for a wife, but I tried to focus on God most of all, and she kind of just fell into my lap, like God said “here, she’s for you.”
We help each other spiritually. There’s been numerous times she has talked me down when I was very angry with our daughter.
There’s a passage in Proverbs that talks about a good wife being a crowning jewel for her husband, or maybe it was Sirach..
That’s what it’s like for me.
Our relationship dynamic is pretty much how it should be. She stays home with the kids (I have a 9 year old from a previous, secular marriage), homeschools the nine year old, cooks, and cleans, waits on me hand and foot. God is very kind to us. She meets with a couple of other sisters from church who also are homemakers and she gets advice from them because they’re a couple years older and have experience with children.
I’m the spiritual head of the household, and she defers to me on important matters of faith, finances and the world as I keep my “ear to the street” so to speak, and guide them to the right direction. So far, we’re the only ones from both our families that have not got the vax. We gather at the icons twice a day, but i often see her praying an akathist during the day if something isn’t going well. She also listens to Fr. Kosmas while cooking. She had a bad feeling about Archbishop Elpidophoros before I even had to tell her why.
We’ve only quarreled once and it was due to a misunderstanding, confessed and moved on. Personality-wise we’re complete opposites, but it works for us. She’s an INFP and I’m an ISTP if that even matters.
We’re very patient with each other. We read that St. John Chrysostom book from the OP a couple Christmas ago.
Honestly, I wasn’t even looking that hard for a wife, but I tried to focus on God most of all, and she kind of just fell into my lap, like God said “here, she’s for you.”
We help each other spiritually. There’s been numerous times she has talked me down when I was very angry with our daughter.
There’s a passage in Proverbs that talks about a good wife being a crowning jewel for her husband, or maybe it was Sirach..
That’s what it’s like for me.