Overcoming OCD and depression

LoveofChristCompelsUs

Chicken
Catholic
Gonna take a shot here bear with me. (i'm left handed lol)

46 male 389 lbs working out with weights since 2009 so have lots of muscle underneath. I am not lazy and train always, even back when i used to drink and workout hungover. Without the fat i would have bodybuilder muscle for sure. It's the addiction to the ZOG. (which i think i have mostly beat but.......

Have anxiety due to weight!(pvcs palps like roosh talks about) Also ocd as hell probably because of weight and the anxiety meds. And ocd is where this is going. So obviously diet is the problem hate seed oils and artificial sweeteners all that i have the knowledge but the addiction has been there since a kid mom was a food pusher.

So i’m fed up wanna change for good don’t care if i ever eat a pizza again. MY PROBLEM IS DATES!!!(lifestyle change permanent) start dates. In my mind the start date has to be neutral.. as in not the unlucky 13, not my mothers bday not (june 6) im religious so omg 666 is bad ya know so stupid i can see this but my mind dwells on it! I add up the month and day october 3 is 13 cause you add them up so 13. Crazy i know please stay with me my buddy died on the 26 of sept so that’s out he was born on the 5th so that’s out. Sisters b day dads(bad relathionship) on and on etc. etc. theres more. I guess i'm trying not to jinx my heart and pvcs or my weight loss in any way some kinda bad mojo with these numbers so i want my date to be neutral. (i know again crazy but mind is dwelling)
So it's all fear based, and reading earlier in the thread seems like another poster said it's like trying not to jink yourself. (this date thing has been going on for almost a year) Doctors are almost useless.
(i will ween of these pills but weight has to be in a better place first)





But i could go on and on 10 divided into 15 is .666667 oh bad mojo can’t do that date. I never used to have this issue ocd just came on.(had somewhat when i was younger)

Be truthful and hard if you have to, what would you do with a mind that fights you like this compromised by benzodiazepines and ocd and anxiety in general. This is literally a call for help i just wanna start and never stop! The real answer in my rationale mind is TODAY is the best day, your health and peace of mind is more important than a date. I doubt i would even think like this, if i was 210lbs. today is 3/8 those numbers divide into 2.666666 oh no lol. Tomorrow is the 9th is something wrong with that? Been dealing with this for a while, i'm sure in 6 months of weight loss i wouldnt even care it's just the START date is important to me cause this is the last sin (gluttony) that i have to beat really and the one i've been dealing with the longest. (been through the drugs thing already and booze beat that) Again i know the answer is NOW in my rationale mind, i'm just wondering how not to dwell and think i'm jinxing myself like an idiot. Re- train my mind???

Thanks and god bless.

Five things I note from what you've have written:

1) You're having what is known as a somatic transmutation. This is when a felt emotion produces a bodily (somatic) response. In your case, when you 'feel' anxious it results in palpitations.

2) You recognize yourself what is going on is Fear-Based.

3) The fear has a religious component (note the fear of triple 6).

4) Your will ('I want to change') isn't following the guidance of right reason ('I understand intellectually I should change due to the threat to my health but it doesn't happen').

5) You believe it possible by your own natural ability, to 'beat' the 'sin' of gluttony, which isn't the teaching of the Catholic Church. (The purification of these impulses happens during the two passive 'nights' - one of the senses, one of the spirit - once God invites you into Contemplation. Being purified from sinful impulses is a supernatural process: whilst we initiate it to show our good will, our efforts need to follow the use of right reason, rather than use an unnatural process ('willful repression from a place of fear' or 'energetic repression from a place of prideful will' or a combination of the two) to achieve a good end ('angelic purity on earth'). At some stage, God does what we cannot humanly do.

6) You're evidencing what to the untrained observer resembles obsessive-compulsive rituals.

----

I believe the problem isn't OCD, but, possibly, a Fear-Based Repressive Disorder Camouflaged by Energy.

It can arise from a number of reasons, but usually involves a misunderstanding of whom God is. This is often formed in childhood, becoming what is known as an Erroneous Cogitative Judgement. So something that is good ('God, who is Infinite Mercy') is now judged as a potential threat ('If i'm not perfect by my own power, God will send me to hell!). The seeds of this can be planted by: strict religious parents; poor catechesis from Priests; or, particularly, following the spiritual advice of someone with this Disorder by whom, fresh from conversion, both believes and presents themselves as Chosen by God to spiritually guide others without explicit permission of the Church to do so. The symptoms then usually evidences once someone starts making a serious effort in their life to conform to what they believe, based upon their - or others - erroneous cogitative understanding of what Christ's teachings are and how best to achieve sanctification by the force of one's own will.

It doesn't matter how 'well-meaning' people's intentions are: this is particularly dangerous when people ask religious advice of others on online forums or social media, and then try to put it into practice, particularly when symptoms like this start evidencing. You wouldn't give a person with a heart condition advice and encouragement on mountain climbing, but I see it happen all the time, because, unless you have entered the passive purifications, and have been invited by God into Contemplation, you are only receiving understanding of God through the Senses, not the Spirit. This is the correct interpretation of St Paul's teachings on this to the Corinthians, but people assume once they have 'found' God that they're immediately a 'Spiritual' man, and start throwing what is only sensible interpretation of scripture and theology.

I have to go now. If you want to investigate your problem to rule it out, I'm willing to listen, but we would start with your relationship with God and how you view him.
 

They Live

Sparrow
Catholic
Five things I note from what you've have written:

1) You're having what is known as a somatic transmutation. This is when a felt emotion produces a bodily (somatic) response. In your case, when you 'feel' anxious it results in palpitations.

2) You recognize yourself what is going on is Fear-Based.

3) The fear has a religious component (note the fear of triple 6).

4) Your will ('I want to change') isn't following the guidance of right reason ('I understand intellectually I should change due to the threat to my health but it doesn't happen').

5) You believe it possible by your own natural ability, to 'beat' the 'sin' of gluttony, which isn't the teaching of the Catholic Church. (The purification of these impulses happens during the two passive 'nights' - one of the senses, one of the spirit - once God invites you into Contemplation. Being purified from sinful impulses is a supernatural process: whilst we initiate it to show our good will, our efforts need to follow the use of right reason, rather than use an unnatural process ('willful repression from a place of fear' or 'energetic repression from a place of prideful will' or a combination of the two) to achieve a good end ('angelic purity on earth'). At some stage, God does what we cannot humanly do.

6) You're evidencing what to the untrained observer resembles obsessive-compulsive rituals.

----

I believe the problem isn't OCD, but, possibly, a Fear-Based Repressive Disorder Camouflaged by Energy.

It can arise from a number of reasons, but usually involves a misunderstanding of whom God is. This is often formed in childhood, becoming what is known as an Erroneous Cogitative Judgement. So something that is good ('God, who is Infinite Mercy') is now judged as a potential threat ('If i'm not perfect by my own power, God will send me to hell!). The seeds of this can be planted by: strict religious parents; poor catechesis from Priests; or, particularly, following the spiritual advice of someone with this Disorder by whom, fresh from conversion, both believes and presents themselves as Chosen by God to spiritually guide others without explicit permission of the Church to do so. The symptoms then usually evidences once someone starts making a serious effort in their life to conform to what they believe, based upon their - or others - erroneous cogitative understanding of what Christ's teachings are and how best to achieve sanctification by the force of one's own will.

It doesn't matter how 'well-meaning' people's intentions are: this is particularly dangerous when people ask religious advice of others on online forums or social media, and then try to put it into practice, particularly when symptoms like this start evidencing. You wouldn't give a person with a heart condition advice and encouragement on mountain climbing, but I see it happen all the time, because, unless you have entered the passive purifications, and have been invited by God into Contemplation, you are only receiving understanding of God through the Senses, not the Spirit. This is the correct interpretation of St Paul's teachings on this to the Corinthians, but people assume once they have 'found' God that they're immediately a 'Spiritual' man, and start throwing what is only sensible interpretation of scripture and theology.

I have to go now. If you want to investigate your problem to rule it out, I'm willing to listen, but we would start with your relationship with God and how you view him.
Great this is what i was looking for. I would like to go more in depth sure!

1.The pvcs could be anxiety and my heart under strain just from being too heavy or a combo of both i’m told! (mostly anxiety) I’ve been checked out but it was a while ago hence the anxiety meds.

2. yes the numbers have a religious component but also just a dumb superstitious component. Like i said i just want things neutral on the day i start because of fear something will happen to my heart or whatever because of a said number. (idiotic but the constant dwelling on the what ifs) If this is truly the start of a new beginning and the end of the sin of addiction/binges and i beat this(lose all the weight and maintain it) the day will always be march 6th or whatever the day divides into or whatever day. And for some reason i just want it neutral in my head. And again you hit it perfectly fear based!


I appreciate the well thought out post!
 

Cassidian

Chicken
Orthodox Inquirer
Here is my two cents, make of it what you will.

I had a lot of obsessive compulsive tendencies growing up; had to touch things a certain way, wash my hands till they were dry and crusty etc... I grew up with very controlling parents, was never allowed to use the stove unsupervised even when I was seventeen, was never given the opportunity to really do anything and prove to my parents that I wasn't some helpless brat.

OCD is a mental trick to gain a feeling of power. You have no feeling of power or security in some important things in your life and your mind, like a wayward servant that it is, is concocting things to feel the illusion of power or control that it lost or does not think that it has. It, like depression, is a phantasm- a shadow. When I moved out most of my tendencies stopped within a year, I didn't even notice. Whatever is affecting you, a feeling of powerlessness is at the heart of it. Without any understanding of why you rely on your compulsions and why you fear living without them you can only marginally "improve".

I'd tell you more if I could, every situation is different of course. But powerlessness and fear of letting go is core to all obsessive compulsion.

Best of luck, my man. I wish you well.
 

Viktor Zeegelaar

Crow
Orthodox Inquirer
Some interesting video's for people struggling with depression, swearing though. Key is that depression is a natural state of mind triggering you to make something better of your life. Exceptions are PTSD or whatever, but in general when people say they're depressed it's this natural state. Society is set up to keep you in this state.



 

Twigg

Sparrow
Orthodox
I’ve struggled with severe OCD pretty much my Life‘s starting when I was a teen. The last year I began to take praying seriously and desperately tried to be a better person in the eyes of God. Additionally I found some better medication. Though it has improved it’s still really debilitating for me. I don’t know what to do I’ve tried praying but that doesn’t seem to take it away. I just want a sense of peace and moderate happiness.
 

JuanChristophorus

 
Banned
Trad Catholic
Came across this. Interesting thoughts on depression.


Look inside yourself. This could be helpful to do daily


Überbased video recommendations. Proper breathing into the belly relaxes the diaphragm and uses your full lung volume. When I relearned to breath into my belly life changed for the better by times a dozen. And it is important to be detached from your issues instead of exploding them into all areas of your life.
 

elyonki

 
Banned
Protestant
I’m surprised no one mentioned Neuroptimal and LENS neurofeedback.with fifteen sessions there is complete remission for nine out of ten people and it just unwires your negative brain function which is a learned habit in responce to early trauma.
 

TheosisSeeker

Woodpecker
Orthodox Catechumen
I’m surprised no one mentioned Neuroptimal and LENS neurofeedback.with fifteen sessions there is complete remission for nine out of ten people and it just unwires your negative brain function which is a learned habit in responce to early trauma.

Is this some type of neurofeedback system? How does it work and where is the evidence for full remission?
 

Papist

Kingfisher
Trad Catholic
I’ve struggled with severe OCD pretty much my Life‘s starting when I was a teen. The last year I began to take praying seriously and desperately tried to be a better person in the eyes of God. Additionally I found some better medication. Though it has improved it’s still really debilitating for me. I don’t know what to do I’ve tried praying but that doesn’t seem to take it away. I just want a sense of peace and moderate happiness.
As a fellow OCD sufferer, I'd say it's important not to avoid doing things due to your OCD - otherwise your world will get smaller and smaller. If you need to 'chat' feel free to send me a PM. I will pray for you.
 

elyonki

 
Banned
Protestant
Is this some type of neurofeedback system? How does it work and where is the evidence for full remission?
I’m on my phone but it works by sending signals to your brain to unwire its negativity.it even heals brain concussions in football players.you can do a Google search for lens neurofeedback or neuroptimal(wich works even better)and ocd.
 

Viktor Zeegelaar

Crow
Orthodox Inquirer
Came across this. Interesting thoughts on depression.



Überbased video recommendations. Proper breathing into the belly relaxes the diaphragm and uses your full lung volume. When I relearned to breath into my belly life changed for the better by times a dozen. And it is important to be detached from your issues instead of exploding them into all areas of your life.
We need to get a lot more stoic.

COTEL did an interesting stream the other day about antifragility. It comes down to the idea of Nassim Taleb that in a pressue situation you have 3 types of responses: 1. fragility (how we are raised nowadays, and the normies are this --> they take a hit and they go down/back off/are overwhelmed), 2. robust (you can take a hit and go on, nothing really changes), 3. antifragility (you take the hit and you grow from it). This latter is the gold to be emulated on our way to Theosis, it's where all the gems and insights are. Rejoice in backlash and seemingly bad circumstances, for they turn out always to be exactly what you needed to take a step forwards. This is 100% contradictory to the modern day medicine based ''treatment'' of depression, where you wallow in your misery for hours to a guy who doesn't care, then going home even more depressed and being on medicine that changes the make up of your brain, your energy, your mood, your sleep habits, eating habits etc. In that time you could've done either something active to clear your head or deal with it in an antifragile kind of way, but that leads to strength, and as the regime merely wants weak people, they must keep people in their problems instead of solving the problems.

 

JuanChristophorus

 
Banned
Trad Catholic
We need to get a lot more stoic.

COTEL did an interesting stream the other day about antifragility. It comes down to the idea of Nassim Taleb that in a pressue situation you have 3 types of responses: 1. fragility (how we are raised nowadays, and the normies are this --> they take a hit and they go down/back off/are overwhelmed), 2. robust (you can take a hit and go on, nothing really changes), 3. antifragility (you take the hit and you grow from it). This latter is the gold to be emulated on our way to Theosis, it's where all the gems and insights are. Rejoice in backlash and seemingly bad circumstances, for they turn out always to be exactly what you needed to take a step forwards. This is 100% contradictory to the modern day medicine based ''treatment'' of depression, where you wallow in your misery for hours to a guy who doesn't care, then going home even more depressed and being on medicine that changes the make up of your brain, your energy, your mood, your sleep habits, eating habits etc. In that time you could've done either something active to clear your head or deal with it in an antifragile kind of way, but that leads to strength, and as the regime merely wants weak people, they must keep people in their problems instead of solving the problems.


Yes. When I face confrontation and problems of an existential scale, this is where I grow the most. When I am in comfort I have to actively do things I don't want to do to prevent of becming stale and dejected. The cornvirus forced me to speed up all my plans instead of delaying them, preferring death rather than not trying to fulfill my goals. Through times of pain and days of despair, I persevered. The Mystical Doctor of the Catholic Church, San Juan de la Cruz, wrote extensively on how to reach Divine Union by complete detachment from everything. It is peak "stoicism", if you want to call it like that. Detachment from matter, detachment from spirit, detachment from everything that is not God.
 
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