Paternity issue from past- need advice

Papaya

Crow
Gold Member
The implication being that if he doesn't ever hear from her again its because she knows its not his

I started with suggesting it would be silly not to confirm the paternity as his or not. Absolutely
 

LoveBug

Kingfisher
Chances are much greater it’s not yours if those logistics are correct. Much easier for a Latino (mestizo) to come out with fair features very early in life than for her to give birth that late/period/how many times I’m guessing you engaged.

I like PapayaTapper’s answer too. I’d threaten her to not waste your time/while demanding a test.
 

Cortés

Woodpecker
Gold Member
Thanks for all the responses guys

I went ahead and ordered a paternity test that sends me a kit and her one as well. While the kit itself isn't very expensive, the shipping to and from Colombia is pretty steep.

The part that I really wasn't sure about was sending her money while everything is on pause during coronavirus. I've decided that it would be stupid for me to send money unless I knew for a fact that he is mine. Considering all the different factors that make this unlikely, the burden of proof is on her.
 

Mikestar

Kingfisher
I remember you’re quite young and my age, mucho suerte, hope this all gets resolved, I remember nearly getting my gf pregnant, not fun times
 

Rob Banks

Pelican
Mikestar said:
...I remember nearly getting my gf pregnant, not fun times
What dreadful and dark times we live in where a pregnancy is seen as a disaster rather than a joyful blessing.

I am not saying this in regard to OP's situation. Obviously, it really would be quite bad if he got this Colombian girl pregnant. I'm just making an observation about the state of the world and the culture, where the vast majority of men think it is cool to enjoy sex but see pregnancy and children as something undesirable and even catastrophic.

The Devil is truly at work.
 

Stats

Robin
Cortés said:
Hey guys. I really could use some advice right now. My trusted friends are giving me immoral and poor counsel about this, need something level headed.

January 2019, I was in Colombia traveling around as the degenerate I was in those days. I met one girl and spent about a week with her. I blocked her when I left the city. Then this January, she contacted me to tell me that she gave birth in November, and that I'm the father.

Some of the circumstances seem a little bit ridiculous and quite a reach for me to be the father. For example, the last few days I was with her she had her period. So the days leading up to that she was not very fertile. Also, a 44 week pregnancy seems a bit long. The baby has blue eyes and seems white, but aside from those basics he doesn't look like me at all. She gave birth in November but did not contact me until January. I think it is suspect that she did not attempt to contact me during her pregnancy or around the time of birth.

Part of the reason why I left her at the time was because I caught her in a few lies. She complained that she couldn't talk to her grandmother because she had no phone. I gave her an old beater phone I brought with me. I caught her the next day trying to sell it on facebook. Not a very trustworthy person.

The only reasons that I think I might be the father are that the timing is possible, and the baby looks like whitish. The city I was in doesn't see tons of tourists.

She has agreed for me to do a paternity test, but she freaks out at any implication that I am not the father. I am hesitant to do it, mostly because it is very expensive, and there is a good chance I doesn't arrive (there's slim chance packages get reliably delivered to her ghetto neighborhood).


Since hooking up with her, Ive really come to God and am voluntarily celibate. I consider this situation an act of punishment from God for my fornication and past sins.

The coronavirus fiasco just makes this all worse. She's out of work and has zero Income for the foreseeable future. I would send her a bit of money for the baby if I knew he was mine, but I can't bring myself to send her money with all the doubts I have.

What do I do? Any advice welcome.
OP You are very likely the father whether you want to admit it or not. A few key points from your story that you did not give that would influence my probability calculation. did you have unprotected sex with her? did you meet her in a small town? did you meet her in some form other then tinder/online dating? IF at least two of those 3 questions are yes then I will bet you the cost of the dna test you are the dad.

I have a baby with a colombian girl where I was sceptical too. in my case the first doctor report I got seemed to say that the date of conception was before I even had sex with the girl. but yes dna says 99.999998% chance its my kid (dna test at a university in colombia cost me about 100usd). even though the relationship did not work out its still a lot of positives having a baby, that you dont even need to take care of. and the average colombians girls expectations for support are very low. a little goes a long way.

My suggestions to you. tell her you will help support the baby if she agrees to do a dna test. then ask her to send photo of the birth certificate. tell her to get it if she doesn't. if its her name on it and a blank space just accept it and get the test done.

as soon as she sends the birth certificate try and send her some money. $200 might be enough to insure your potential kid does not get mal nurished during the lockdown. think of this a charity whether you are the dad or not. once you have confirmed the dna test i suggest sending her money every week. weekly is key here. dont rely on her saving it for a month or more. she can spend 10 or 1000 dolars in week. and then need to ask for more. but somehting frequent and consistant is key here for helping the baby and stopping here from continually asking for money.

Good luck and try to maintain at least a civil friendship with the mom. and im sure at some point you will get a chance to meet the baby you wont feel like it is a punishment any more.
 

Stats

Robin
Stats said:
Cortés said:
Hey guys. I really could use some advice right now. My trusted friends are giving me immoral and poor counsel about this, need something level headed.

January 2019, I was in Colombia traveling around as the degenerate I was in those days. I met one girl and spent about a week with her. I blocked her when I left the city. Then this January, she contacted me to tell me that she gave birth in November, and that I'm the father.

Some of the circumstances seem a little bit ridiculous and quite a reach for me to be the father. For example, the last few days I was with her she had her period. So the days leading up to that she was not very fertile. Also, a 44 week pregnancy seems a bit long. The baby has blue eyes and seems white, but aside from those basics he doesn't look like me at all. She gave birth in November but did not contact me until January. I think it is suspect that she did not attempt to contact me during her pregnancy or around the time of birth.

Part of the reason why I left her at the time was because I caught her in a few lies. She complained that she couldn't talk to her grandmother because she had no phone. I gave her an old beater phone I brought with me. I caught her the next day trying to sell it on facebook. Not a very trustworthy person.

The only reasons that I think I might be the father are that the timing is possible, and the baby looks like whitish. The city I was in doesn't see tons of tourists.

She has agreed for me to do a paternity test, but she freaks out at any implication that I am not the father. I am hesitant to do it, mostly because it is very expensive, and there is a good chance I doesn't arrive (there's slim chance packages get reliably delivered to her ghetto neighborhood).


Since hooking up with her, Ive really come to God and am voluntarily celibate. I consider this situation an act of punishment from God for my fornication and past sins.

The coronavirus fiasco just makes this all worse. She's out of work and has zero Income for the foreseeable future. I would send her a bit of money for the baby if I knew he was mine, but I can't bring myself to send her money with all the doubts I have.

What do I do? Any advice welcome.
OP You are very likely the father whether you want to admit it or not. A few key points from your story that you did not give that would influence my probability calculation. did you have unprotected sex with her? did you meet her in a small town? did you meet her in some form other then tinder/online dating? IF at least two of those 3 questions are yes then I will bet you the cost of the dna test you are the dad.

I have a baby with a colombian girl where I was sceptical too. in my case the first doctor report I got seemed to say that the date of conception was before I even had sex with the girl. but yes dna says 99.999998% chance its my kid (dna test at a university in colombia cost me about 100usd). even though the relationship did not work out its still a lot of positives having a baby, that you dont even need to take care of. and the average colombians girls expectations for support are very low. a little goes a long way.

My suggestions to you. tell her you will help support the baby if she agrees to do a dna test. then ask her to send photo of the birth certificate. tell her to get it if she doesn't. if its her name on it and a blank space just accept it and get the test done.

as soon as she sends the birth certificate try and send her some money. $200 might be enough to insure your potential kid does not get mal nurished during the lockdown. think of this a charity whether you are the dad or not. once you have confirmed the dna test i suggest sending her money every week. weekly is key here. dont rely on her saving it for a month or more. she can spend 10 or 1000 dolars in week. and then need to ask for more. but somehting frequent and consistant is key here for helping the baby and stopping here from continually asking for money.

Good luck and try to maintain at least a civil friendship with the mom. and im sure at some point you will get a chance to meet the baby you wont feel like it is a punishment any more. ill also add that the girl in my case did lots of drama about the dna test. dont expect her to understand.
 

Mikestar

Kingfisher
Rob Banks said:
Mikestar said:
...I remember nearly getting my gf pregnant, not fun times
What dreadful and dark times we live in where a pregnancy is seen as a disaster rather than a joyful blessing.

I am not saying this in regard to OP's situation. Obviously, it really would be quite bad if he got this Colombian girl pregnant. I'm just making an observation about the state of the world and the culture, where the vast majority of men think it is cool to enjoy sex but see pregnancy and children as something undesirable and even catastrophic.

The Devil is truly at work.
I was just 19 years old man.. it’s a different story when you’re that age, of course kids are a blessing but at that age and especially because I was in a similar situation to OP - me in Europe and the girl in Latin America, it’s stressful
 

Rob Banks

Pelican
↑ I wasn't referring specifically to you.

I can see why having a child at a young age, out of wedlock, with a less-than-reputable woman wouldn't exactly be seen as a blessing.

I was referring to the general state of the culture (especially in the West but in the rest of the world too) where sexual pleasure is seen as something to be valued and sought after but pregnancy and children are seen as something to be avoided.
 
Top