Pew Research: Just 12% of Married/CR Couples Met Via Online Dating! (US)

Serie A1

Serie A1

 
Banned
Some intriguing findings from an October 2019 survey conducted among 4,860 U.S. adults:
  1. Only 30% of US adults have ever used a dating site or dating app;
  2. Just 12% of respondents stated that they have ever been (a) married or (b) in a committed relationship (vague definition much?) with someone they met on a dating site or dating app; and
  3. 57% of men who have dated online in the 2014-2019 period say that they have not received enough messages (the equivalent figure for women: 24%).
Therefore, it seems that online dating is:

A. Not the universal craze that many claim it to be;
B. Not particularly satisfying for men; and
C. Of very limited use if one has the aim of getting married. The 12% figure in (2) above includes anyone who has been in a 'committed relationship' with someone they met via an online dating platform or app; take these respondents away, and I'd guess that the proportion of actual marriages that online dating accounts for is vanishingly small.

The survey details can be viewed here:

www.pewresearch.org

10 facts about Americans and online dating

Three-in-ten U.S. adults say they have ever used a dating site or app, but this varies significantly by age and sexual orientation.
www.pewresearch.org www.pewresearch.org

Thoughts?
 
redbeard

redbeard

Hummingbird
Catholic
Gold Member
12% of marriages originate online, but I'd gander many more "relationships" do. Here's a study that tracks how "couples" meet.
www.pnas.org

Disintermediating your friends: How online dating in the United States displaces other ways of meeting

We show in this paper that meeting online has displaced friends as the main way heterosexual couples in the United States meet. Traditional ways of meeting partners (through family, in church, in the neighborhood) have all been declining since World War II. Meeting through friends has been in...
www.pnas.org www.pnas.org
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Serie A1

Serie A1

 
Banned
redbeard said:
12% of marriages originate online, but I'd gander many more "relationships" do. Here's a study that tracks how "couples" meet.
www.pnas.org

Disintermediating your friends: How online dating in the United States displaces other ways of meeting

We show in this paper that meeting online has displaced friends as the main way heterosexual couples in the United States meet. Traditional ways of meeting partners (through family, in church, in the neighborhood) have all been declining since World War II. Meeting through friends has been in...
www.pnas.org www.pnas.org
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Great graph!

The 12% figure represents marriages + committed relationships, which according to many people these days (and for a good while, actually) are practically the same thing...
 
Serie A1

Serie A1

 
Banned
Rob Banks said:
Online dating is unnatural.

It is alarming that more than 1 out of 10 people have either married or been in a committed relationship with someone they met through online dating, but really, what do you expect from the modern world?

Just avoid online dating and avoid the women who engage in it. Problem solved.
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Personally, I'm amazed that the figure isn't higher given that online dating is so prevalent in the media: you'd be forgiven for thinking it was the only way that relationships are formed in the contemporary world.

As you allude to, the big take-home message from this survey is just how ineffectual online dating is when it comes to marriage.

It would be good to see some meaningful statistics in the coming years about the longevity of and satisfaction derived from marriages 'arranged' by dating sites and apps.
 
Vasily Zaytsev

Vasily Zaytsev

Robin
redbeard said:
12% of marriages originate online, but I'd gander many more "relationships" do. Here's a study that tracks how "couples" meet.
www.pnas.org

Disintermediating your friends: How online dating in the United States displaces other ways of meeting

We show in this paper that meeting online has displaced friends as the main way heterosexual couples in the United States meet. Traditional ways of meeting partners (through family, in church, in the neighborhood) have all been declining since World War II. Meeting through friends has been in...
www.pnas.org www.pnas.org
F1.large.jpg
Click to expand...

What's very telling about the graph is the fact that the only other category with an upward trajectory is "Met in bar or restaurant." The default date for many people people who end up meeting up on PoF, Bumble, and Tinder is going out for drinks, which makes me believe that more people are meeting online, but telling people that they first met (in person) at a bar in order to save face.
 
B

BigFellow

 
Banned
I think that worrying about telling your family and friends how you met your fiance is girly gossip and girl talk. I have many friends and relatives who are married and I don't know how they met their spouses. I don't have a clue. I don't think I've ever asked a male friend or relative, "How did you meet your girlfriend/wife?" I don't think I've asked a female relative or acquaintance/friend that question either. I'm not even sure how my parents met. I am more concerned with the quality of the woman I am getting than the means I use to get her. I have heard some commentators criticize online dating because you don't know much about the background of the person you're going to date. If you date some girl who grew up in your community and attended school with you for 12 years, well, then you know her background, you know her family. It may be a safer option. That's worth considering, but I don't think that necessarily means you should write off all online dating. One advantage of online dating is that you can restrict your search to certain characteristics--for example, you can select "Christian" and it will limit your search to women who identify as Christians. You can select "Non-smoker" or "Non-drinker." In real life, you don't have that convenience and that presents a challenge. Or worse, in real life you might be approaching a woman who is not even single. So online dating does have its advantages.

Many years ago, before online dating, newspapers would have a "Personals" section where someone could post a singles ad. I remember that they normally would not have photos. So that was about as close to a pre-Internet analogue of online dating as I can think of. If you wanted to go the Russian route, you could get a magazine with photos of Russian women. "Mail-order bride" is the term often used, although I think that term is kind of derogatory. In any event, setting yourself up with women you don't know or meet in real life didn't necessarily originate with technology.
 
Easy_C

Easy_C

Peacock
Mr Freedom said:
online dating is only good for short term flings and one night stands.. Nothing new to be learnt from this.
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I got a really, really, good one that way who more or less fits that “ideal” many have here (21 years old, no prior partners, trad, etc.)

There is one very good reason to use online dating: people who need to expand their wife search geographically. Incidentally trad Catholics and Orthodox are a key demographic for that because it’s strongly preferred to marry in your sect and if there isn’t anyone you match with in your town it could very easily be a few hours away to find other women.
 
barrythecyborg

barrythecyborg

 
Banned
12% sounds like quite a significant number?...

Anyway, online dating's kinda ridiculous if you ask me.

Figured that out when a match showed up 12 years older than her profile pics (she'd got married, divorced and had a kid in the meantime).
 
D

DeusLuxMeaEst

Pelican
Orthodox Catechumen
Gold Member
Much of online dating is not real, most of the internet isn't. It gives a false view of what is really going on. Limiting internet time is one of the best things you can do for yourself.

There are several issues with online dating, many of which we have discussed over the years. Both men and women misrepresent themselves, and women get a huge ego.

There's no barrier to sending a message to someone, so even unattractive women are filled with pride. Keep in mind some of these same woman won't get approached at all in an entire year in real life.

Chatting with tons of people is also not conducive to building a real connection.

Would you really trust a woman you met online for a long term relationship?

I believe there are few curcumstances you would.

Maybe there are religious dating sites that aren't like Tinder, and maybe there are online groups you can meet someone, but I haven't found them.
 
redbeard

redbeard

Hummingbird
Catholic
Gold Member
Easy_C said:
I got a really, really, good one that way who more or less fits that “ideal” many have here (21 years old, no prior partners, trad, etc.)

There is one very good reason to use online dating: people who need to expand their wife search geographically. Incidentally trad Catholics and Orthodox are a key demographic for that because it’s strongly preferred to marry in your sect and if there isn’t anyone you match with in your town it could very easily be a few hours away to find other women.
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Can confirm. I have met a few trad couples who have met on Catholic Match.
 
G

GWYW2015

 
Banned
Orthodox
barrythecyborg said:
12% sounds like quite a significant number?...

Anyway, online dating's kinda ridiculous if you ask me.

Figured that out when a match showed up 12 years older than her profile pics (she'd got married, divorced and had a kid in the meantime).
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That's got to be a record! Wow. Must have been bewildering when you realized who it was.
 
G

GWYW2015

 
Banned
Orthodox
Neo said:
Much of online dating is not real, most of the internet isn't. It gives a false view of what is really going on. Limiting internet time is one of the best things you can do for yourself.

There are several issues with online dating, many of which we have discussed over the years. Both men and women misrepresent themselves, and women get a huge ego.

There's no barrier to sending a message to someone, so even unattractive women are filled with pride. Keep in mind some of these same woman won't get approached at all in an entire year in real life.

Chatting with tons of people is also not conducive to building a real connection.

Would you really trust a woman you met online for a long term relationship?

I believe there are few curcumstances you would.

Maybe there are religious dating sites that aren't like Tinder, and maybe there are online groups you can meet someone, but I haven't found them.
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True statements here but I believe that internationally you can far better as I think more of those women honestly are looking for a husband and will be good to him. At least more so than in American dating sites.
 
PixelFree

PixelFree

Kingfisher
Catholic
I have to say I'm also shocked at the low % of people who have used online. Goes to show you how blinkered we have been - especially the 'all woman are terrible and internet dating ruined them all'.

This really gives me hope. I'm convinced a big part of our perceived problem we're jaded from looking in the wrong areas.

Not to mention, online could be swipyslutfinder.com OR religious meet.com OR even marriage minded.com.

I know two couples who met on eHarmony. One has kids. The others are only 2 years in but still.

Also wonder how many really did meet online but say they met at a bar.

Having said all that, I agree, online is terrible in general but there are exceptions.
 
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