I'm surprised at how many people/women he was messaging too, although I shouldn't be. When he first messaged me, he did kind of apologize and give me an "out" if I was uncomfortable messaging a guy. I'm usually okay depending on the topic and the amount of time it will take, but I did find that I didn't have much time for a lot of the exchanges we were having and forgot to reply and then I had a baby and was off here for awhile so didn't really follow up. We talked about substance issues because I had mentioned somewhere else on the forum having past issues with alcohol myself. I was happy to talk about what I did that helped me and how I literally don't struggle with that at all anymore and what the process was. I was unclear if he was still struggling or not. This was more at the beginning of the year. I think he's a pretty thoughtful guy and yeah, he does give off little brother vibes. Really hoping he pulls through.
Please Pray for Rob Banks
- Thread starter Kitty Tantrum
- Start date
Tex Cruise
Kingfisher
No personal insults
Unpopular opinion/conspiracy theory incoming...
Rob Banks is a pathetic, obese troll who has had / currently has many different usernames on this forum, and is reading this now.
Rob Banks is a pathetic, obese troll who has had / currently has many different usernames on this forum, and is reading this now.
The thought had occurred to me, since he joked about a heart attack right before it happened, and he messaged sooo many women on a forum that doesn't even have many women. I kinda wondered if he was reading and enjoying the attention.
I would have felt bad though if I said it and he actually was dying or dead.
Tex has enough posts to be a kingfisher, but doesn't typically post in the Ladies Forum. Definitely not Rob.Hmm... Is that you, Rob Banks?
Tex Cruise
Kingfisher
Same, 100% and I could be wrong. I had called him out as a troll in the past. He recieved the best advice possible on the men's forum. Even to the point that a very highly repped and respected former member actually came back under a nom de plume to offer help, but he chose to ignore all that and continually post in the ladies forum, and pm female members.
I don't think he's a troll. If wrong, I'll tip my hat and give him a medal for the performance.
The joking about heart attacks was a long time ago (could have been last winter even) FWIW. Not recent.
His behavior is consistent with being an addict, and with the sorts of disorder that stem from having an upbringing as he has described his own. Seeking female attention (in a way that seems excessive even though none of it is scandalous). Seeking the answers he wants to hear. Revisiting the same problems. Lots of things.
I can see how it might come across as trolling, but I've known enough addicts, and I've been talking to him for long enough - and he wouldn't disagree with being called pathetic, but I'm reasonably confident he's a real person and his story is not a fabrication.
I WOULD RATHER he be a troll telling tall tales right now, than someone I care about in the hospital for real, honestly.
I also would rather my long-distance ex-boyfriend have been a Fed/JIDF/CIA handler lying to me about absolutely everything, because then I didn't let some poor guy think I was the perfect woman for him and that he wanted to marry me and then break his heart after a couple years because I figured out I definitely wasn't.
But that's all pretty wishful thinking because I'd rather the truth be less heavy than it seems to actually be.
I also just realized that in one of his last messages to me, he said he was starting a new job soon. If he went and got vaccinated because it was required for a job he felt like he couldn't pass up on and it kills him... I think he would have mentioned if he caved and got the jab, but maybe that would be more embarrassing than admitting to recurring drug use.
What a world this is.
What a world this is.
Let's hope he didn't get the jab - that's spiritually damaging.
Yes. God, husband, children, and home are priority and never should be compensated to less than service to others.
Personally, working/volunteering since a teenager for the service of others (over 30 years) there is a point where you develop boundaries to avoid intimacy while conversing about issues. It was the only time I kept copy with female friends on a daily basis that boundaries were soften; and in certain circumstances allowing emotions to override reasoning.
Exactly what I said. Although, I found it odd that he (and one other individual on the forum) wanted to take conversations off this forum and to another platform. Nope.
This thread is becoming of an interest in regard to online anonymity and conversations between a male and female. This forum provides the opportunity for an individual’s identity to be unknown, and strictly states there is to be no visual representation of physical features.
Given there is no physical features presented one could argue that it is easier for a male to avoid establishing a connection of appeal; as where females (on average) will connect on an emotional/relationship level - second to appearance.
Males and females are not created equal; and because of this I am willing to bet emotional affairs occur more due to the female’s initiation amd and insecurity. Feminine etiquette (woman’s nature created by God) is realising she has a responsibility to others (God’s handmaid); however the modern woman has been conditioned to be gynocentric / self-centered. Here is an example:
A feminine woman will provide encouraging words and support to a man for the purpose to comfort (ethics of care). A gynocentric woman will provide flattering words to a man to attract good feelings to herself (flirt).
@kittytantrum - I guess on the subject of him being a troll or not, do you mind explaining more in depth how you found out about his situation? It does seem odd that you would find out the fate of someone from the internet. Usually when something happens to someone you only knew online, no one ever finds out anything and you just kind of wonder 'where did so and so go? They haven't been around here in forever' and obviously hope that they are okay somewhere and just lost interest in the forum, but unfortunately that might not always be the case.
I can't speak to anyone else, but it was definitely the former for me. I'm happily married and can't emotionally connect to someone whom I can't even see or who can't see me. I've always had trouble understanding how people fall in love over the internet. I guess I can see how people use the internet to meet and then meet physically afterward to see if they are compatible, but not fall for someone just over messaging online. A lot of my family are addicts, so I felt like I was "helping", but honestly helping addicts is futile a lot of the time, I've known that since I was 12 to be honest, so it's kind of an old loop that I found myself stuck in, and the conversations just sort of died off after that. Just to clear the record. But if he is real, I really do hope that he is okay.
Yes. An explanation would be nice to hear on how you found out about his situation @Kitty Tantrum. A family member reached out to you? If you would be kind to share?
Thank you @ChristFollower1111 for taking the time to share your insight to what I posted. It is comforting to read similar views/ experiences on the topic. The maturity is also appreciated.
God bless.
Rob and I started talking in late March of 2021.
He would often ask for my perspective on advice other people gave him, my thoughts on observations other people made, etc.
He would also ask other people for input/perspective on advice I'd given him, and had my permission to share my messages with others for that purpose. I especially warned him against taking any of my advice without running it by his priest.
I know that at least his sister and one of the priests he was working with, were aware that he was seeking advice on this forum, and aware of my username, and that he valued my advice/perspective and regarded me as a friend/important person. His sister made an account here to contact me and let me know what happened.
Does any of this definitively prove the truth of the story? Not really, no.
But after many years of browsing this forum and reading his posts, and more than a year of listening to him expound his story in greater detail, here is what I can say:
- It doesn't smell like trolling to me.
- I have a lot more information about him than he has about me (because I'm a paranoid mom, whereas he's a troubled young man desperate for the human connection that has been undermined by his addiction and disorder). Probably more than enough information to sniff out whether his story is basically true or not, if I were so inclined.
I guess if there'd ever been an "ask" for anything more than time/attention/advice, I'd have wanted some kind of verification. I'm not a naturally nosy person and have never felt inclined.
As it is, the process of trying to help him with his issues (and the careful prayer and consideration involved) is something that has helped me in many cases identify areas of my own life where I need to heed the same advice I've given (in principle, even if usually not in detail).
So in a weird way, even if he were a troll, I could not say those conversations were a waste of my time.
I also would not be any less inclined to pray for the salvation of his soul, if he were revealed to be a troll or faking for attention or somesuch thing. In a way, that would be even sadder and more pathetic than any story anyone could come up with to solicit pity.
Caduceus
Ostrich
The old forum used to have a search function in which you could easily bring up a list of every thread a certain member started. I can't seem to be able to do that here on the RVF 2.0 version. Not without having to look through a very long list of threads that a member just posted in, rather than started. Maybe someone more tech savy is able to do it.
It was an important tool because you could quickly see what type of a person a member was by the type of threads they started, and quickly find inconsistencies in stories they told about themselves, especially if they made strange or dramatic claims. Many "fakers" on RVF were outed this way.
Added to this, many old threads (pre year 2020) have been deleted making this sort of research even more difficult.
I say all this because i myself have been a member here since 2017, and remember that Rob Banks (who became a member here just a year before me in 2016) has a long history of strange personal stories, weird threads started by him, and peculiar behaviour on this forum, with various members calling out his posts in the past in his own threads.
I would like to backup my claims with some real forum post examples, but too many structural changes, and deletions, have been made to the forum to make this possible.
If he's truly ill, i pray he gets better and uses the experience to turn his life around.
It was an important tool because you could quickly see what type of a person a member was by the type of threads they started, and quickly find inconsistencies in stories they told about themselves, especially if they made strange or dramatic claims. Many "fakers" on RVF were outed this way.
Added to this, many old threads (pre year 2020) have been deleted making this sort of research even more difficult.
I say all this because i myself have been a member here since 2017, and remember that Rob Banks (who became a member here just a year before me in 2016) has a long history of strange personal stories, weird threads started by him, and peculiar behaviour on this forum, with various members calling out his posts in the past in his own threads.
I would like to backup my claims with some real forum post examples, but too many structural changes, and deletions, have been made to the forum to make this possible.
If he's truly ill, i pray he gets better and uses the experience to turn his life around.
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According to the original post, he's had no brain activity for three weeks. That's not "ill"....that's essentially dead.
Of course I hope it's some troll or some sick joke, cause I don't want to see anyone die.
But based on my past interactions with this fellow, it's most likely he intentionally or unintentionally OD-ed. He was a very troubled guy with substance abuse problems, and he had a fanatical obsession with getting back together with an ex that clearly wanted nothing to do with him. All of those factors add up to disaster.
I hope his soul is at peace.
Of course I hope it's some troll or some sick joke, cause I don't want to see anyone die.
But based on my past interactions with this fellow, it's most likely he intentionally or unintentionally OD-ed. He was a very troubled guy with substance abuse problems, and he had a fanatical obsession with getting back together with an ex that clearly wanted nothing to do with him. All of those factors add up to disaster.
I hope his soul is at peace.
Peculiar behavior and strange posts...
My parents used to do drugs when I was a kid. I know they were addicted to heroin for a while.
I remember one time I woke up and found that my dad had written a whole bunch of stuff all over the fridge, all over the table, and maybe some other places, in black sharpie. I wonder sometimes what he'd have posted on forums if they'd existed back then.
Wackiness and inconsistencies in recollection of things, apparent self-contradictions, things that seem outrageous or like holes in stories/narratives...
And eventually I noticed that other people spoke and behaved in similarly strange ways. And as I got older I began connecting the dots and realizing that the common ground all those people share is having fried their brains with hard drugs.
Retelling the same story with variation of embellishment can be the tell of someone whose story is fabricated and they can't keep it straight -- but is also a tell for an addict who is retelling a basically true story, spun or embellished differently depending on what sort of responses they want to get from a particular retelling. They want to get you to buy into a version of reality that allows them to ask questions that prompt you for the answers they want to hear.
The thought that he could be a troll has crossed my mind in the past (part of why I read his thread history in the first place), but I'd be pretty surprised at this point. Impressed, even.
To me he seems like someone very genuinely troubled and in the primary mode of seeking comfort when comfort is the last thing he needs.
I was actually quite harsh with him most of the time.
I don't know what he'd have gotten out of trolling for attention from me unless he likes being called out for every detected embellishment/misrepresentation, being called a dumbdumb and a child, having his addiction repeatedly equated to the gayest of faggotries, and being condescended to for any and all addict shenanigans.
I basically told him that I only had enough patience to talk to him and not enough to be nice, and how he has responded to that leads me to believe he is genuine.
Please keep in mind that if I am correct, then his grieving sister could be reading your posts.
Erring on the side of charity when it can be afforded is not weakness or naivety.
My parents used to do drugs when I was a kid. I know they were addicted to heroin for a while.
I remember one time I woke up and found that my dad had written a whole bunch of stuff all over the fridge, all over the table, and maybe some other places, in black sharpie. I wonder sometimes what he'd have posted on forums if they'd existed back then.
Wackiness and inconsistencies in recollection of things, apparent self-contradictions, things that seem outrageous or like holes in stories/narratives...
And eventually I noticed that other people spoke and behaved in similarly strange ways. And as I got older I began connecting the dots and realizing that the common ground all those people share is having fried their brains with hard drugs.
Retelling the same story with variation of embellishment can be the tell of someone whose story is fabricated and they can't keep it straight -- but is also a tell for an addict who is retelling a basically true story, spun or embellished differently depending on what sort of responses they want to get from a particular retelling. They want to get you to buy into a version of reality that allows them to ask questions that prompt you for the answers they want to hear.
I've been reading the forum since 2014 or 2015 or thereabouts and have used that feature fairly extensively in the past for many profiles, including Rob Banks. His story and some of his wackier posts piqued my interest for various reasons, often in a way like: "I used to think somewhat similarly to this... I hope he learns better like I did!"
The thought that he could be a troll has crossed my mind in the past (part of why I read his thread history in the first place), but I'd be pretty surprised at this point. Impressed, even.
To me he seems like someone very genuinely troubled and in the primary mode of seeking comfort when comfort is the last thing he needs.
I was actually quite harsh with him most of the time.
I don't know what he'd have gotten out of trolling for attention from me unless he likes being called out for every detected embellishment/misrepresentation, being called a dumbdumb and a child, having his addiction repeatedly equated to the gayest of faggotries, and being condescended to for any and all addict shenanigans.
I basically told him that I only had enough patience to talk to him and not enough to be nice, and how he has responded to that leads me to believe he is genuine.
Please keep in mind that if I am correct, then his grieving sister could be reading your posts.
Erring on the side of charity when it can be afforded is not weakness or naivety.
Threads by Rob Banks:
Posts by Rob Banks:
Tex Cruise
Kingfisher
I would like to apologize for my previous post in this thread.
From the responses received, I don't think I need to make excuses or justify how I reached the opinion I had of Rob, but I was wrong.
Rob's condition is genuine, serious, and not a joke or a hoax.
I've been unable to post until now, as my earlier post breached a number of forum rules. During my suspension I was contacted privately by former member AnonymousBosch, who asked me to share the following with the forum on his behalf. This was 4 days ago, so there may have been developments - positive or otherwise - since then.
Please pray for Rob Banks.
From the responses received, I don't think I need to make excuses or justify how I reached the opinion I had of Rob, but I was wrong.
Rob's condition is genuine, serious, and not a joke or a hoax.
I've been unable to post until now, as my earlier post breached a number of forum rules. During my suspension I was contacted privately by former member AnonymousBosch, who asked me to share the following with the forum on his behalf. This was 4 days ago, so there may have been developments - positive or otherwise - since then.
Please pray for Rob Banks.
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