I don't intend for this thread to be just about rude women blanking people, but for all situations of people being blanked, and how one can deal with it, and the motivation behind it. Of course glamorous / stuck up women, as well as has-been beautiful women might tend to do this more than regular women.
I'm of the opinion that if someone doesn't return your greeting that it takes a bit of energy from you? Maybe it wouldn't matter that some girl blanked me if I was a super cool guy on his way to a very important business meeting, or about to bang a model. I'd be too focused on the big win to care. But I'm not that guy, so this is something that irritates me from time to time. So what about options for dealing with this when it happens to you?
Depending on the scenario you imagine, it might be a bit much to correct someone for not saying hello. But if you're going to, you don't want to do it in a way that shows you're hurt. I think the best option is to either correct them in a way that is playful, or else to do it in a way that is condescending. If it were a boss, or a manager, the former option might be better. So the condescending option would be something like "it's polite to say hello to someone when they greet you". That's a good option because as you're speaking about yourself in the third person; you're not making it all about you and how you're actually offended. The playful way would be to say "say hello [name], don't be shy". Or else you could mimic them and greet yourself after you've just greeted them. I did something similar to this recently when I was putting my stuff on the conveyor belt in a supermarket. The lady said nothing, so for the laugh I said "I'm good thanks and how are you?"
It's not as easy as what you might think - for a couple of reasons. A lot of the time someone blanks you they'll pretend as though they're very busy or distracted. For instance, they'll ask someone else (who's present) something just at the very moment you say hello. Or else they'll have walked on past you by the time you're sure what's happened. I've been blanked by men too, but women tend to be a little more skillful at it. They'll leave you uncertain afterwards.
I don't think someone will blank you unless they known they'll be able to get away with it, because it does take a certain amount of nerve to blank someone. So of course, it's a little more difficult to blank someone when you're, say, alone together in a quiet room. But I have had people blank me when either in a somewhat noisy environment, or perhaps when the person was somewhat far away from me when I said it. In such cases, I would kind of think "maybe they didn't hear me?". But later on I'd realise "nah, they heard me".
Unfortunately, and perhaps more often than not, when we're rudely blanked we're often so taken by surprise that someone has just flat out ignored us, that we don't know what to say. The thought to correct the person wouldn't enter my heads, and the moment is over in seconds. So something I've done myself, is that if I suspect someone is about to blank me, is that I'll acknowledge the person by just saying their name without given an 'hello'. And then, depending on how the person reacts, I could make that into "John... how are you?" or a "John... snap out of it". The latter could be used if the person just stared at the ground while passing you. So you don't really get blanked!
But I think perhaps the best way of all of dealing someone who's blanked you is to very casually say "you alright?". In other words, what you're doing is saying 'the problem is with YOU'! It's deliberate misinterpretation. It's like I'm pretending that I think they're either in a world of their own, or as if they've just received news that a family member got killed in a car crash! They think that the thought that they might be sulking towards you hasn't even entered you're head. I've gotten some interesting reaction with this.
Let me tell you about another form of it that I hate. I come across it at checkouts sometimes. When you arrive to pay with your groceries and greet the person, they also say "hello" back, but they leave a pause before responding. It shows that they're not really with you. Before they respond, you presume you've been blanked. To me this is strange because if someone says 'hi' to me, like a knee jerk reaction, I reply with the same. When there's that pause, it makes you sense that the person may as well be a computer responding. I've noticed something like this with my older sister (who I don't get along with) the last time we both happened to be home in the family house. She was conversing with my father as I entered the room, and gave a proper 'hello' upon entry. I got ignored but then about 30 seconds later - in her own time - she said "hello [name], how are you?". This is confusing, and it's probably not something others in the room would notice. I could of course have done the same and given a delayed response back and made her wonder for a sec what's going on! On the other hand, if I didn't say hello when I entered the room, there's a chance my father might even correct me. So it's sort of a double edged sword: hard to win if a parent will always take the other sibling's side!
Do you think that there's some women out there that blank most guys by default to make themselves feel superior? I don't think it's the case that the more beautiful the woman is, the more likely she is to blank you, but that the more glamorous she is! If she's glamorous and has a resting bitch face, then that's the sort that's likely to blank you. For me, I'd find it hard to refuse to acknowledge the presence of another person; even if it were someone that I didn't like.
Part of the reason all of this is interesting to me, is that I used to make the following mistake when dealing with the likes of such girls when I was younger: if one of them was suddenly nice, I'd think "oh great, thank God she's not being cold". I'd then even doubt my initial of opinion of that girl. I'd say to myself "she's actually not that bad - why did I even think she was a bitch?". And interestingly, after the experience her being suddenly nicer (or less rude) than normal, I might then be more likely to approach that girl during the same day if I had a question about work related matters or whatever. And that's fine, but ordinarily I'd only approach such a girl if it was absolutely necessary. This shouldn't be the case. One should be equally as likely to approach such a person regardless of their mood. So the thing is that the fact I'd suddenly be more likely to approach her would actually only confirm to her that her coldness had been having an effect on me all the other times. So things would be fine until that girl would suddenly turn on the bitch switch again when it suited her... and thus control my behavior! I think this is the exact reason you'll hear other chumps saying things like "oh she seems like a bitch but she's actually not". That's what such a girl might want you to think, but she knows exactly what sort of effect her coldness has on others.
Just to mention a few other things regarding this matter that I'm kind of unsure about, that perhaps some of you might have come across. One thing is earphones! If you say hello to a rude person who has their earphones in I suppose you're asking for trouble! Happened to me recently with a female manager... I entered the office of which she was the only person in. I could see that she had ear phones in as I looked right at her and said hello! She looked right back at me, and I heard nothing back from her as I walked to the monitor I needed to check. I'd have made a remark about her rudeness if it wasn't for the fact that she had earphones in. It sort of threw me. Apparently someone said she was doing some sort of conference call training course that she was listening in to on the earphones. I don't know!
Another thing I've come across (only twice so far) is that after greeting such a woman (while holding eye contact), is that they responded by moving their lips (as if talking), but I couldn't hear anything! It's sort of confusing because then I began to wonder if I just didn't hear it! If they just flat out blanked me, they'd know they mightn't quite get away with it. So this trick - if we can call it that - gives them deniability; especially if there's a certain amount of background noise in the area at the time it takes place. This could be me reading into things, or it could be such a girl hating the fact that she's just greeted someone that she's supposed to be cold towards.
Tis a petty world we live in! Thanks for reading
I'm of the opinion that if someone doesn't return your greeting that it takes a bit of energy from you? Maybe it wouldn't matter that some girl blanked me if I was a super cool guy on his way to a very important business meeting, or about to bang a model. I'd be too focused on the big win to care. But I'm not that guy, so this is something that irritates me from time to time. So what about options for dealing with this when it happens to you?
Depending on the scenario you imagine, it might be a bit much to correct someone for not saying hello. But if you're going to, you don't want to do it in a way that shows you're hurt. I think the best option is to either correct them in a way that is playful, or else to do it in a way that is condescending. If it were a boss, or a manager, the former option might be better. So the condescending option would be something like "it's polite to say hello to someone when they greet you". That's a good option because as you're speaking about yourself in the third person; you're not making it all about you and how you're actually offended. The playful way would be to say "say hello [name], don't be shy". Or else you could mimic them and greet yourself after you've just greeted them. I did something similar to this recently when I was putting my stuff on the conveyor belt in a supermarket. The lady said nothing, so for the laugh I said "I'm good thanks and how are you?"
It's not as easy as what you might think - for a couple of reasons. A lot of the time someone blanks you they'll pretend as though they're very busy or distracted. For instance, they'll ask someone else (who's present) something just at the very moment you say hello. Or else they'll have walked on past you by the time you're sure what's happened. I've been blanked by men too, but women tend to be a little more skillful at it. They'll leave you uncertain afterwards.
I don't think someone will blank you unless they known they'll be able to get away with it, because it does take a certain amount of nerve to blank someone. So of course, it's a little more difficult to blank someone when you're, say, alone together in a quiet room. But I have had people blank me when either in a somewhat noisy environment, or perhaps when the person was somewhat far away from me when I said it. In such cases, I would kind of think "maybe they didn't hear me?". But later on I'd realise "nah, they heard me".
Unfortunately, and perhaps more often than not, when we're rudely blanked we're often so taken by surprise that someone has just flat out ignored us, that we don't know what to say. The thought to correct the person wouldn't enter my heads, and the moment is over in seconds. So something I've done myself, is that if I suspect someone is about to blank me, is that I'll acknowledge the person by just saying their name without given an 'hello'. And then, depending on how the person reacts, I could make that into "John... how are you?" or a "John... snap out of it". The latter could be used if the person just stared at the ground while passing you. So you don't really get blanked!
But I think perhaps the best way of all of dealing someone who's blanked you is to very casually say "you alright?". In other words, what you're doing is saying 'the problem is with YOU'! It's deliberate misinterpretation. It's like I'm pretending that I think they're either in a world of their own, or as if they've just received news that a family member got killed in a car crash! They think that the thought that they might be sulking towards you hasn't even entered you're head. I've gotten some interesting reaction with this.
Let me tell you about another form of it that I hate. I come across it at checkouts sometimes. When you arrive to pay with your groceries and greet the person, they also say "hello" back, but they leave a pause before responding. It shows that they're not really with you. Before they respond, you presume you've been blanked. To me this is strange because if someone says 'hi' to me, like a knee jerk reaction, I reply with the same. When there's that pause, it makes you sense that the person may as well be a computer responding. I've noticed something like this with my older sister (who I don't get along with) the last time we both happened to be home in the family house. She was conversing with my father as I entered the room, and gave a proper 'hello' upon entry. I got ignored but then about 30 seconds later - in her own time - she said "hello [name], how are you?". This is confusing, and it's probably not something others in the room would notice. I could of course have done the same and given a delayed response back and made her wonder for a sec what's going on! On the other hand, if I didn't say hello when I entered the room, there's a chance my father might even correct me. So it's sort of a double edged sword: hard to win if a parent will always take the other sibling's side!
Do you think that there's some women out there that blank most guys by default to make themselves feel superior? I don't think it's the case that the more beautiful the woman is, the more likely she is to blank you, but that the more glamorous she is! If she's glamorous and has a resting bitch face, then that's the sort that's likely to blank you. For me, I'd find it hard to refuse to acknowledge the presence of another person; even if it were someone that I didn't like.
Part of the reason all of this is interesting to me, is that I used to make the following mistake when dealing with the likes of such girls when I was younger: if one of them was suddenly nice, I'd think "oh great, thank God she's not being cold". I'd then even doubt my initial of opinion of that girl. I'd say to myself "she's actually not that bad - why did I even think she was a bitch?". And interestingly, after the experience her being suddenly nicer (or less rude) than normal, I might then be more likely to approach that girl during the same day if I had a question about work related matters or whatever. And that's fine, but ordinarily I'd only approach such a girl if it was absolutely necessary. This shouldn't be the case. One should be equally as likely to approach such a person regardless of their mood. So the thing is that the fact I'd suddenly be more likely to approach her would actually only confirm to her that her coldness had been having an effect on me all the other times. So things would be fine until that girl would suddenly turn on the bitch switch again when it suited her... and thus control my behavior! I think this is the exact reason you'll hear other chumps saying things like "oh she seems like a bitch but she's actually not". That's what such a girl might want you to think, but she knows exactly what sort of effect her coldness has on others.
Just to mention a few other things regarding this matter that I'm kind of unsure about, that perhaps some of you might have come across. One thing is earphones! If you say hello to a rude person who has their earphones in I suppose you're asking for trouble! Happened to me recently with a female manager... I entered the office of which she was the only person in. I could see that she had ear phones in as I looked right at her and said hello! She looked right back at me, and I heard nothing back from her as I walked to the monitor I needed to check. I'd have made a remark about her rudeness if it wasn't for the fact that she had earphones in. It sort of threw me. Apparently someone said she was doing some sort of conference call training course that she was listening in to on the earphones. I don't know!
Another thing I've come across (only twice so far) is that after greeting such a woman (while holding eye contact), is that they responded by moving their lips (as if talking), but I couldn't hear anything! It's sort of confusing because then I began to wonder if I just didn't hear it! If they just flat out blanked me, they'd know they mightn't quite get away with it. So this trick - if we can call it that - gives them deniability; especially if there's a certain amount of background noise in the area at the time it takes place. This could be me reading into things, or it could be such a girl hating the fact that she's just greeted someone that she's supposed to be cold towards.
Tis a petty world we live in! Thanks for reading
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