Serious financial dilemma

magaman

Kingfisher
Orthodox Inquirer
I am currently in the midst of financial turmoil. I have racked up a lot of debt through student loans and credit cards, trying to keep up with the lifestyle of others such as my girlfriend, who has not been the best influence but I know ultimately the fault is mine. Reality is setting in and it's time to start making some serious changes. To give you an idea of how much the debt in total is, it is five digits. Tens of thousands of dollars I owe right now and the job I have currently doesn't pay too well but I'm keeping my eyes open for other opportunities.

The turmoil has affected my mood to the point that I can't think about or enjoy much besides the thought of being in a better financial position and hoping that better days loom over the horizon. My mind has shifted to a darker place lately and I feel it was a mistake to allow my girlfriend back into my life, as much as I do love the girl and want whats best for her. With her, she makes more money than anyone I've ever known but I've noticed when it comes to me, she pinches her pennies a little bit and won't really help too much if I don't pressure her immensely to. I have noticed though that she splurges when it comes to shopping, going out, food, traveling, doing activities that she wants to do.. She's also not very open to me financially and her plans are ever changing, another source of frustration when it comes to planning life in general because every day I ask her, her plans change and it makes it harder on me to know what to expect and it also makes it harder on me that she's living here at my Dad's house with me, which was not the original plan.

At this point, I'm not so much asking "what do I need to do?" because I know what I need to do. It's just finding the opportunity that will allow to make some decent coin working long hours, as many days a week as I can handle so that way I can start fixing my life. It just feels like a deep hole that I'm in and I need to be sure that I'm using the right tools to get out because I can say so far that I haven't been using the right tools and I've been doing a lot of "putting the cart before the horse" type of things and I really don't want to resort to "borrowing money from Peter to pay Paul" type of stuff. Most people have money issues so it's hard to talk to people about it. My father doesn't really know the extent of which I'm struggling and my girlfriend knows somewhat about my problems but is rather dismissive and not very merciful about them. Again, there has been outside influences to my problems but reality has set in and it's ultimately my fault for making bad decisions and allowing these things to happen.

I just like to think of everything I'm going through right now, this struggle is just another test from God. Perhaps he wants to see if I'm really about what I think I'm about and talk to others about being about and maybe the previous tests were just warm-ups. He wouldn't put me through anything I can't handle right?
 

Pointy Elbows

Kingfisher
Orthodox
At least you have the guts and wisdom to admit it, so you'll likely work your way out of it in time.

First, I'd come clean with your dad. Don't ask him for more help, so much as share your thoughts and thank him for allowing you to stay there for now. A "thanks for helping my situation, Dad, I appreciate all you've done for me, I'm getting my stuff together but it is tight" should be sufficient. Sounds like my sons are your age, and that's all I need to hear from them to be happy to support them, so long as I see they are living disciplined.

About a dismissive GF that isn't attentive to your financial situation: be prepared to get cut free as soon as she decides to make the move. A woman may love you, but such love rarely extends into her bank account. I've seen too many women get on equal financial terms with their man, only to divorce or leave him shortly after. Her changing plans all the time is a combination of youthful confusion (fair enough) and a way to keep you on needles. Girl game. Also, you may be communicating neediness to her. The next time you need to spend something to impress her, just say it isn't in your budget and hold firm. Maybe "let's not do Olive Garden tonight, how about we have a picnic dinner at the park." This may not be good enough for her. If so, then be ready for her to bail.

About your "distractions." I'd get on a tight budget. Set aside your monthly/bi-weekly discretionary allowance, draw it in cash, set aside all cards, and force yourself to live on just that cash.

Good luck, brother.
 

Kiwi

Woodpecker
Orthodox Inquirer
If your girlfriend makes more money than anyone you've ever known why is she living with you and your Dad? Especially if it wasn't the original plan?

Look up Dave Ramsey. He has some decent advice when it comes to financial help and tackling debt. I've heard tons of people like you get out of debt on his radio show. It's sadly normal to have so many in debt problems, but it also means others have got out from worse situations than you. Plenty of examples out there, and will set you up for a solid financial future if you can make it habit.

But you need a solid plan - which means budget, cutting expenses (no eating out) longer hours (or second job) and you'll be doing this for a while depending on how fast you want to make progress. Is she going to be cool with you living a frugal lifestyle and you not being around as much due to work?
 

magaman

Kingfisher
Orthodox Inquirer
If your girlfriend makes more money than anyone you've ever known why is she living with you and your Dad? Especially if it wasn't the original plan?

Look up Dave Ramsey. He has some decent advice when it comes to financial help and tackling debt. I've heard tons of people like you get out of debt on his radio show. It's sadly normal to have so many in debt problems, but it also means others have got out from worse situations than you. Plenty of examples out there, and will set you up for a solid financial future if you can make it habit.

But you need a solid plan - which means budget, cutting expenses (no eating out) longer hours (or second job) and you'll be doing this for a while depending on how fast you want to make progress. Is she going to be cool with you living a frugal lifestyle and you not being around as much due to work?
She (and I) both save on money by living here and when she originally moved here, the plan was to look for a place but that soon turned into her doing travel nursing, which makes more money but threw a wrench in everything else. I broke up with her a few months ago because I'd had enough of trying to meet her halfway with her lifestyle (which is a huge reason why I'm debt) but then she came back and told me she had changed her plans and wanted to live in the same city as me again. So I took her back and for a couple weeks she had seemed pretty serious about that plan. Now it's back to her wanting to go and do traveling again, after she had led my Dad and tried to lead me into thinking that she was going to stay grounded here. I took what she had said with a grain of salt but my Dad believed her and got mad at me my problems with her. I didn't appreciate it but he's not mad now like he was a few weeks ago so he's in passive mode right now.

Eating out is a bad habit of mine but I've tried to make the best of it, like ordering cheap combos and dollar menu items. Sadly with inflation raising food prices, it seems "they" get you either way, unless you resort to eating stuff like rice and beans, spam, ramen noodles etc which honestly aren't bad and I may have to resort to this. My girl would definitely be cool with it but she's one that has very high expectations and I feel that no matter what I do, I'll never be exceptional or what she "wants me to be". She's 40 and I'm only 28 so I'm kind of the "young hot guy" to her that she'd like to keep but let's be honest here; Everyone reading this knows that I can and probably do deserve better or at the very least somebody that I am equally yoked with. Heck, I think she does too.
 

Viktor Zeegelaar

Crow
Orthodox Inquirer
The turmoil has affected my mood to the point that I can't think about or enjoy much besides the thought of being in a better financial position and hoping that better days loom over the horizon. My mind has shifted to a darker place lately and I feel it was a mistake to allow my girlfriend back into my life, as much as I do love the girl and want whats best for her. With her, she makes more money than anyone I've ever known but I've noticed when it comes to me, she pinches her pennies a little bit and won't really help too much if I don't pressure her immensely to. I have noticed though that she splurges when it comes to shopping, going out, food, traveling, doing activities that she wants to do.. She's also not very open to me financially and her plans are ever changing, another source of frustration when it comes to planning life in general because every day I ask her, her plans change and it makes it harder on me to know what to expect and it also makes it harder on me that she's living here at my Dad's house with me, which was not the original plan.
She's gonna take you to the cleaners my brother. Women date up, they don't date down. The fact that she makes way more coin then you is a massive red flag. Women love opportunistically, when a better chance comes along she'll be gone. Men love idealistically, as you show in your story by talking about ''loving your girl''. From your story it's clear she doesn't respect you due to the financial gap between the two of you. Probably the situation is this: you're a cool, fun guy she gains attention and validation from for the time being, but in her head you're a short term option. She'll jump on the next wagon whenever the opportunity arises my friend, that's the sad situation that will occur sooner or later. You've fallen into this financial situation partly as a result of her influence as you state. In effect, you're sacrificing your life in the long term for a girl that probably won't be around for long, especially as she'll go up on the socio-economic ladder and you get into more financial trouble.

My advice is clear: on a poisoned soil no good fruits can grow. Cut the relationship off, then start fixing your life. If you continue this, you have no idea where you'll end up in 10, 20, 30 years, but I guarantee it won't be good and you'll regret massively that you got yourself into this trouble for a woman who won't be around by then for decades. You'll wreck your life continuing this way, I guarantee you that.
 

magaman

Kingfisher
Orthodox Inquirer
She's gonna take you to the cleaners my brother. Women date up, they don't date down. The fact that she makes way more coin then you is a massive red flag. Women love opportunistically, when a better chance comes along she'll be gone. Men love idealistically, as you show in your story by talking about ''loving your girl''. From your story it's clear she doesn't respect you due to the financial gap between the two of you. Probably the situation is this: you're a cool, fun guy she gains attention and validation from for the time being, but in her head you're a short term option. She'll jump on the next wagon whenever the opportunity arises my friend, that's the sad situation that will occur sooner or later. You've fallen into this financial situation partly as a result of her influence as you state. In effect, you're sacrificing your life in the long term for a girl that probably won't be around for long, especially as she'll go up on the socio-economic ladder and you get into more financial trouble.

My advice is clear: on a poisoned soil no good fruits can grow. Cut the relationship off, then start fixing your life. If you continue this, you have no idea where you'll end up in 10, 20, 30 years, but I guarantee it won't be good and you'll regret massively that you got yourself into this trouble for a woman who won't be around by then for decades. You'll wreck your life continuing this way, I guarantee you that.
We've been together for a couple of years now and she has expressed interest in marriage but I am not interested. There clearly would be no benefit for me in that situation. I never intended to marry anyway, although I can understand why a woman would want to get married. In fact, at this point, if she did climb up the socio-economic ladder, it'd better for me in the long run regardless of whether she breaks it off or I do. You're pretty spot on with the assessment too, I am generally a cool and laid back guy that does validate her but she gets a lot of validation on social media too. She has other options for sure but has remained with me, for whatever reason.

Trying to fix my life so far has resulted in a lot of "growing pains", failed opportunities that she is very judgemental about. I'm not perfect and could definitely do things better but there's no denying there is additional pressure from her to be something/someone I just am not.
 

Jive Turkey

Kingfisher
Orthodox Catechumen
Look up debt snowball method. Celebrate little victories. Quit going out to eat more than once a week. Pray to God for help and start tithing what you can immediately, although 10% should be your goal/minimum.

Your girlfriend situation is another matter. To speak frankly she sounds like she is has serious mental/emotional issues being this wishy washy so late in her life, as well as dating much younger men. And that is without taking the other issues into account.

Good luck brother.
 

Kiwi

Woodpecker
Orthodox Inquirer
She (and I) both save on money by living here and when she originally moved here, the plan was to look for a place but that soon turned into her doing travel nursing, which makes more money but threw a wrench in everything else. I broke up with her a few months ago because I'd had enough of trying to meet her halfway with her lifestyle (which is a huge reason why I'm debt) but then she came back and told me she had changed her plans and wanted to live in the same city as me again. So I took her back and for a couple weeks she had seemed pretty serious about that plan. Now it's back to her wanting to go and do traveling again, after she had led my Dad and tried to lead me into thinking that she was going to stay grounded here. I took what she had said with a grain of salt but my Dad believed her and got mad at me my problems with her. I didn't appreciate it but he's not mad now like he was a few weeks ago so he's in passive mode right now.

Eating out is a bad habit of mine but I've tried to make the best of it, like ordering cheap combos and dollar menu items. Sadly with inflation raising food prices, it seems "they" get you either way, unless you resort to eating stuff like rice and beans, spam, ramen noodles etc which honestly aren't bad and I may have to resort to this. My girl would definitely be cool with it but she's one that has very high expectations and I feel that no matter what I do, I'll never be exceptional or what she "wants me to be". She's 40 and I'm only 28 so I'm kind of the "young hot guy" to her that she'd like to keep but let's be honest here; Everyone reading this knows that I can and probably do deserve better or at the very least somebody that I am equally yoked with. Heck, I think she does too.

End the relationship. Make seeking God and finding a church your priority along with sorting out your financial life. You're young and can build something solid for your future.
 

magaman

Kingfisher
Orthodox Inquirer
Look up debt snowball method. Celebrate little victories. Quit going out to eat more than once a week. Pray to God for help and start tithing what you can immediately, although 10% should be your goal/minimum.

Your girlfriend situation is another matter. To speak frankly she sounds like she is has serious mental/emotional issues being this wishy washy so late in her life, as well as dating much younger men. And that is without taking the other issues into account.

Good luck brother.
Exactly. It's hard to build something with someone who has no idea or not enough of an idea what they are going to do and I feel like in a lot of ways, it's affected me too because when she changes her mind constantly about things, it's hard for me to come up with a plan for myself because I'm trying to do so with her in mind too. Nothing has really changed since I called it off the first time and I had a feeling it wouldn't. Now my financial problems have gotten even worse from trying to adjust my life to a more flexible one that can accommodate others easier and net me a higher wage. No, I should be doing things and making money for just me. Everything right now seems to be working against me and I feel almost powerless..
 

Viktor Zeegelaar

Crow
Orthodox Inquirer
End the relationship. Make seeking God and finding a church your priority along with sorting out your financial life. You're young and can build something solid for your future.
To add to this, I'd say that a woman should never be a priority anyway until one has his life fixed: faith, finance, career, social, fitness whatever. I lack for sure in many of these areas too, so a woman and family are the last things on my mind. Women can be a great distraction from fixing these foundations as she'll demand attention, time and energies, which are things that are to be aimed at getting your foundation straight. Waging war on 2 fronts is never a good idea: where attention goes energy flows, but when that attention is divided your impact will be a fraction of what it is with full focus. You'll be astonished what tou can accomplish in let's say 1 year or evem 3 months if you really cut out anything else. All the noise is diluting the signal.

That being said props to you @magaman for opening up this convo as there's much to be discussed here for sure brother.
 

Jive Turkey

Kingfisher
Orthodox Catechumen
Exactly. It's hard to build something with someone who has no idea or not enough of an idea what they are going to do and I feel like in a lot of ways, it's affected me too because when she changes her mind constantly about things, it's hard for me to come up with a plan for myself because I'm trying to do so with her in mind too. Nothing has really changed since I called it off the first time and I had a feeling it wouldn't. Now my financial problems have gotten even worse from trying to adjust my life to a more flexible one that can accommodate others easier and net me a higher wage. No, I should be doing things and making money for just me. Everything right now seems to be working against me and I feel almost powerless..
It seems like you are spiralling brother. Try to take a deep breath and make a list of small goals you can attain. You are not powerless and not everything is working against you. Debt is definitely suffocating, but the amount of debt you have can be significantly paid down by the end of this year. Especially if you are living at home and saving money. You can definitely handle this situation. If you dedicate yourself you will easily make it out of this situation. Just don't panic or freeze. The journey of a thousand miles starts with one step, as the Chinese say.

Maybe start listening to the Dave Ramsey show as well to get real examples and learn that real people pull themselves out of debt every day.

God bless you brother
 

rainy

Pelican
Other Christian
Eating out is a bad habit of mine but I've tried to make the best of it, like ordering cheap combos and dollar menu items. Sadly with inflation raising food prices, it seems "they" get you either way, unless you resort to eating stuff like rice and beans, spam, ramen noodles etc which honestly aren't bad and I may have to resort to this. My girl would definitely be cool with it but she's one that has very high expectations and I feel that no matter what I do, I'll never be exceptional or what she "wants me to be". She's 40 and I'm only 28 so I'm kind of the "young hot guy" to her that she'd like to keep but let's be honest here; Everyone reading this knows that I can and probably do deserve better or at the very least somebody that I am equally yoked with. Heck, I think she does too.
I'm gonna be honest here and it is not meant to offend. At 28, what is the point of dating? I presume it is to have a relationship with the person you want to settle down with and have a family with. Well that's pretty much already not an option with your GF. And it is a major red flag that a 40 yr old non-married traveling nurse is living with her much younger BF in his dad's house. That does not sound like who I would want raising my future children, with all due respect. I would cut the cord. End it and relieve yourself of dealing with these back and forth, relatively minor issues. And I say they're minor because at 28 your focus should be zero debt, steady income, your own place and creating the ability to provide for and support a wife and young children.

There's various ways to deal with debt and I'll let you research how to handle that, plenty of stuff out there. But next after moving on from your GF I would now look at how to increase your income so you can move out of your dad's house and become self sufficient. While living there I presume you can save some money.

I just wrote about this in another thread but I am a firm believer in the viewpoint that you can't help others until your own ducks are in order. And I am also of the belief man is supposed to be the provider, the head of the household and build the foundation for a family. I'm not sure what your career is but you're still young enough to learn a trade. Welding, electrician, lighting & irrigation, plumbing, masonry, etc, paid apprentices make decent money and then you make a good amount more a few years later, in largely recession proof industries. My advice is to look inward and reflect, pray and ask for God's guidance, create stability for yourself, take 2-3 years to do this and improve your career and try to find another woman your age you can settle down with. If this takes 2-3 years you will still have the majority of your 30's to have children.

I'll add, marriage and raising children is a blessing, but challenging nonetheless. You want a husband/wife to be able to support and help one another. You're a team. Your strength fills in for their weakness and vice versa. Everything you're telling us suggests your GF is a distraction and unhelpful. From experience I can tell you that would only lead to larger issues when the stakes are greater, i.e. marriage and children. IMO if she wanted to be with you long term and have a family, you both would be setting aside money and have a plan to get your own place ASAP. At 40 she'd be expecting a ring on her finger. Children would be an important topic. That she's in and out, coming and going, blowing money left and right strongly suggests none of that is in her future.
 
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Goldin Boy

Pelican
Lots of good advice in this thread. You'll never get a head just paying minimums, cut discretionary spending and take a second job if necessary. For budgeting look up an app/bank account called "Qube Money" it's impossible to overspend when yours that.

If your dad has impeccable credit, like 750+, ask to him add you as an authorized user on his credit card that has the highest limit; this benefits you triply because:

1) the credit line on this card counts toward your overall credit and this will lower your utilization amount making it look like you have more available credit, making you appear more trustworthy to the (((bureaus))) thus raising your score,
2) The lower utilization can potentially lower your monthly payments on your existing credit cards
3) His on-time payments will reflect as a on-time payments for you raising your score.

If you do this don't use the card. Just passively reap the benefits. There's also 401k loans, consolidation loans, you've got lots of options.

Also for more tips and advice on managing a high debt load, buy and read the book "Your Credit Score" by Liz Weston.
 

Pointy Elbows

Kingfisher
Orthodox
magaman, she's 40, living with her boy-prey and his dad. I didn't get that part up front. A 40 yo woman has had far more iterations through the game and is wildly more adept at manipulating you than you can understand at your age. No disrespect to you, but it is just true. This is literally child's play for her.

Do you hope to someday have children with her? If you get engaged, married, have a year of fun, then make babies, she will be 42 at age of conception. She'll be 50 when your 8 yo is going into 3d grade and has energy to power a city. She may be great, in shape, have high energy, but 42 yo women are not in prime baby-raising age. Child rearing takes young people energy.

As a guess: Does she mask her relation with you from her co-workers? If so, you're the guy providing free housing and some young-guy hardness to her memory shelf. If she isn't willing to introduce you in social life then you are obviously being hidden and used. If she is showing you off, are you just a trophy? Modern women love proving "we can do it too," meaning date down in age. I've heard them say as much. Still, women are highly averse to committing to a man that puts less in the bank than they do.

You've had your fun. Maybe she's even a roundabout sugar momma of sorts, covering expenses in exchange for rent. But my alarm bells are ringing that this is a dead end.

As other guys here have said, I would seriously consider cutting free, get in church, cover your finances, and moving on. This may sound a little harsh, but I'm holding back here.
 

magaman

Kingfisher
Orthodox Inquirer
I'm gonna be honest here and it is not meant to offend. At 28, what is the point of dating? I presume it is to have a relationship with the person you want to settle down with and have a family with. Well that's pretty much already not an option with your GF. And it is a major red flag that a 40 yr old non-married traveling nurse is living with her much younger BF in his dad's house. That does not sound like who I would want raising my future children, with all due respect. I would cut the cord. End it and relieve yourself of dealing with these back and forth, relatively minor issues. And I say they're minor because at 28 your focus should be zero debt, steady income, your own place and creating the ability to provide for and support a wife and young children.

There's various ways to deal with debt and I'll let you research how to handle that, plenty of stuff out there. But next after moving on from your GF I would now look at how to increase your income so you can move out of your dad's house and become self sufficient. While living there I presume you can save some money.

I just wrote about this in another thread but I am a firm believer in the viewpoint that you can't help others until your own ducks are in order. And I am also of the belief man is supposed to be the provider, the head of the household and build the foundation for a family. I'm not sure what your career is but you're still young enough to learn a trade. Welding, electrician, lighting & irrigation, plumbing, masonry, etc, paid apprentices make decent money and then you make a good amount more a few years later, in largely recession proof industries. My advice is to look inward and reflect, pray and ask for God's guidance, create stability for yourself, take 2-3 years to do this and improve your career and try to find another woman your age you can settle down with. If this takes 2-3 years you will still have the majority of your 30's to have children.

I'll add, marriage and raising children is a blessing, but challenging nonetheless. You want a husband/wife to be able to support and help one another. You're a team. Your strength fills in for their weakness and vice versa. Everything you're telling us suggests your GF is a distraction and unhelpful. From experience I can tell you that would only lead to larger issues when the stakes are greater, i.e. marriage and children. IMO if she wanted to be with you long term and have a family, you both would be setting aside money and have a plan to get your own place ASAP. At 40 she'd be expecting a ring on her finger. Children would be an important topic. That she's in and out, coming and going, blowing money left and right strongly suggests none of that is in her future.
magaman, she's 40, living with her boy-prey and his dad. I didn't get that part up front. A 40 yo woman has had far more iterations through the game and is wildly more adept at manipulating you than you can understand at your age. No disrespect to you, but it is just true. This is literally child's play for her.

Do you hope to someday have children with her? If you get engaged, married, have a year of fun, then make babies, she will be 42 at age of conception. She'll be 50 when your 8 yo is going into 3d grade and has energy to power a city. She may be great, in shape, have high energy, but 42 yo women are not in prime baby-raising age. Child rearing takes young people energy.

As a guess: Does she mask her relation with you from her co-workers? If so, you're the guy providing free housing and some young-guy hardness to her memory shelf. If she isn't willing to introduce you in social life then you are obviously being hidden and used. If she is showing you off, are you just a trophy? Modern women love proving "we can do it too," meaning date down in age. I've heard them say as much. Still, women are highly averse to committing to a man that puts less in the bank than they do.

You've had your fun. Maybe she's even a roundabout sugar momma of sorts, covering expenses in exchange for rent. But my alarm bells are ringing that this is a dead end.

As other guys here have said, I would seriously consider cutting free, get in church, cover your finances, and moving on. This may sound a little harsh, but I'm holding back here.
Yeah, I get exactly what you guys are trying to say.. This whole relationship was something I had started before I had truly started on my journey to Christ around three years ago, when I was still my old self of sorts. She's sort of a hangover from the past that my present self would have not gotten involved with. She does help financially from time to time but not as much as you would think. She helps out with what she is supposed to and yeah she may pay for trips/ vacations and good food which I appreciate but when it comes down to business like getting a place together, she's not so quick to move on that. She wants to skimp as much as possible and I'm really in no position right now to afford or qualify for a house or an apartment.
 

Pointy Elbows

Kingfisher
Orthodox
Brother, It is easy to underestimate the predatory nature of some modern women. I had a 60+ yo neighbor that was sleeping with a 22 yo guy for the lulz. When her 22 yo asked her to help with college money, she drew the line. Oh, heck no. She even admitted to having seduced a monk decades ago (he eventually left the order). Some women are into memorable notches just like PUAs, and there is nothing new about it.
 

Trewolla

 
Banned
Protestant
I'm not sure where to start. I'm not particularly good at advice, but since you asked:,....

You've got two problems,...debt and a crazy woman. The debt is going to be a tough nut to crack and it's going to take a while.

But you can fix the crazy woman problem in 30 seconds and it won't cost you a red cent.

A 40 year old women pursuing a 28 year old man has multiple screws loose. I would guess it's borderline personality disorder. They're emotionally arrested at about 13 years old. There's a lot of them out there these days.
 

Sargon2112

Woodpecker
Protestant
Agree with all those who say be rid of the woman... You can get a more suitable one later that's younger than you and worthy of your attention.

I might have missed it, but I saw no mention of your dad charging you rent..? If he's not, then you are in the perfect position to knock that debt out if you focus on it. To echo some Dave Ramsey advice, pay the debts off starting with the smallest first, as this is the best way to motivate yourself to finish cleaning it up. Once you become debt free, I doubt anyone will have to tell you to keep it that way.

You're still young enough to turn this around, with time to spare, but, in the blink of an eye, you are going to be the one that is 40. You can look back from there and laugh at this if you change course now.

Hang in there man.
 

magaman

Kingfisher
Orthodox Inquirer
Agree with all those who say be rid of the woman... You can get a more suitable one later that's younger than you and worthy of your attention.

I might have missed it, but I saw no mention of your dad charging you rent..? If he's not, then you are in the perfect position to knock that debt out if you focus on it. To echo some Dave Ramsey advice, pay the debts off starting with the smallest first, as this is the best way to motivate yourself to finish cleaning it up. Once you become debt free, I doubt anyone will have to tell you to keep it that way.

You're still young enough to turn this around, with time to spare, but, in the blink of an eye, you are going to be the one that is 40. You can look back from there and laugh at this if you change course now.

Hang in there man.
He does charge rent but it's way less than what I would pay to rent an apartment or a house so at least I have that to my advantage. Yeah my main concern is to pay off my credit cards first. I've paid one already but still got two more.
 
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