Severe emotional pain, Christian Orthodox Church and a request for help

My father has been diagnosed with Liver Cancer. Apparently it is a Metastasized Cancer spread form other parts of his body. He is very likely in a very critical condition and I do not know how much time we have left together.

He refuses to go the Institutional Health way and instead try Keto diet and perhaps some possible Alternative Medicine Options.

I agree with him. From past experiences with other members of the family succumbing to the Institutional Health way of doing things when they got sick from serious stuff, it is very evident for both of us that that path, if followed, would only lead to stress, horror and a lot of pain and damage caused by "Medicines" and "Interventions". It is our strong belief that current medical practice is now corrupted to the core by Big Farma and other evil and greed interests and so we do not trust them one bit.

Despite my tremendous worry and concern of my father's deteriorating health condition, I refuse to put him in a position where he would be most likely harmed by ignorant and badly trained "Medical Professionals". The worst fate for him would be to be "Interned" in a hospital where they have almost all control over him and what they do to him and even much worse, separated from me, his only relative and close partner. In all honesty, I prefer to have him live his last days in our home, taken cared by me and sharing the most we can together.

I cannot really find the most adequate words to describe my current emotional state. What I do notice is that I feel Lost and Dissociated from live right now. I do not know why. I feel like a zombie, just watching life past by without feeling nor sensation. This weird emotional state comes to be interrupted once every while by a surge of intense emotional pain and horror steaming from deep my lower stomach and radiating all the way to my head prompting me to burst in tears. I try to hold my tears back and push them back in again, to stop them. To stop the pain and fear that possesses me for a while and then it goes back to the background and I return to my zombie state where I just see life pass by without feeling a damn shit.

As the days progress, my emotional state seems to be getting worse, now bursting into tears almost every time I talk or even see my father. I am worried this might be affecting him negatively, but I really do not know what to do.

This situation comes at already very hard time for me. I was severely affected by the abomination that happened to the Trump presidency and what that represents to humanity in general for the future, especially for those in Europe and America. I also find myself in a very precarious financial position thanks to the "COVID" bullshit attacks and knockdowns that practically destroyed our family business and let us practically broke. Without money, I cannot even by a damn Vitamin C bottle for my father, less get advice from alternative doctors.

All this has been really bad, but the real pain lies in my father's condition. He is my Acheeles Heel of sorts.

Of course, I am reaching a point in my life where it is becoming very obvious that I may not be so strong as I thought and I might need some help. For the most part of my life I have been a strong rationalist and scientific minded individual. As Roosh himself, I have been also an avid student of seduction and related arts.

Thanks to Roosh, I started considering Orthodox Christianity as a very interesting valuable philosophy and way of life, nevertheless have not got around to formally pursue this path for myself. I dabbled a bit recently with the Mormon Church in my quest to get into a Christian sort of community where I currently live, where there are no Orthodox Churches, but with no avail as, to my great misfortune and frustration, the Mormon Church has now clearly been corrupted also by the forces of evil. Not that I did not expect such thing to be a possibility, but I just wanted some "Safe Space" for me and my father to nurture the Christian path.

I have concluded that it is very likely that I will be in a very vulnerable and weak state of affairs relatively very soon and it is very clear to me that if I do not find myself a sort of "guide" that can pull me off the depths of weakness and darkenss I might go astray. This "guide" of sorts, must be, by my own desire and belief that it is the best for me, of the values I personally value and want to be influenced into. So, it is my conviction that my "guide" should be a Man of Christian Values and, of course, there are no better, Christian Values and philosophy than that of Orthodoxy.

This brings me here to ask for some help to this community for some guidance on:

1. How could I reach to the Orthodox Church to become part of it? (Preferably the Russian)
2. How can I get in touch with an Orthodox priest that could help me and guide me to the good path, in the Orthodox Christianity way?
3. How can I be part of the Orthodox Christianity community remotely, when I have no access to a church of them where I live?
4. Of course, any good sources (books, etc.) that can help me get walking in the right path.

I hope not to appear selfish in my request for help, but I beg your patience with me. I feel terrified of what I perceive as a very difficult state of affairs, weakness, and vulnerability coming very soon into my life and I do not want to go astray or worse, due to being pulled by a bad influence, which God knows are plenty right now in these times of crazy and evil.

Sincerely appreciative of your comments and suggestions,

D.
 

Nacho

Sparrow
I'm sorry to hear about your father may God have mercy on him. You need to look up your local Orthodox church and email or call. Set up a time to meet with the priest since you are in an urgent situation.

I would also start contacting a few Orthodox monasteries and start having monastics pray for your father. Maybe give them a donation on their website as a token of appreciation. Ask the priest/monks for specific prayers you could pray daily with your father at home. Maybe set up an icon corner in your home facing east where you both can pray at.
 
I'm sorry to hear about your father may God have mercy on him. You need to look up your local Orthodox church and email or call. Set up a time to meet with the priest since you are in an urgent situation.

I would also start contacting a few Orthodox monasteries and start having monastics pray for your father. Maybe give them a donation on their website as a token of appreciation. Ask the priest/monks for specific prayers you could pray daily with your father at home. Maybe set up an icon corner in your home facing east where you both can pray at.
Unfortunately there is no Orthodox Church where I am at, but I am planning to email and contact some, even if they are far away.

Thank you very much for your help, I really appreciate you took the time to help me.
 

DanielH

Pelican
Unfortunately there is no Orthodox Church where I am at, but I am planning to email and contact some, even if they are far away.

Thank you very much for your help, I really appreciate you took the time to help me.
This is the right move. You may be surprised, there may be a mission parish near you with a priest that visits once a month or so.

As far as books, I really like “Everyday Saints and Other Stories” which is about a monk in the Soviet Union who is now a prominent Russian bishop. It has many interesting stories about Orthodox spirituality, including stories that deal with death and repentance, which unfortunately sounds relevant to your situation.

I also like everything by Father Seraphim Rose, his life is one of wandering and searching for truth, much like yourself, and he was able to diagnose the spirit of the age and how evil manifested itself leading up to the 20th century. You can just look up books of his, they're all worth a read. “Orthodoxy and the Religion of the Future” is a good one and I've seen others here recommend “Nihilism.”

Another one that helped me was “Thirty Steps to Heaven” which is essentially a refined version of “The Ladder” by Saint John Climacus. Whereas “The Ladder” was written for monks, this was written for the laity. It is a spiritual guide that is humbling to say the least.

There are other books on the Church in general and theology. They're useful too but I wouldn't dive too deep into theology before finding a spiritual father in real life, which it sounds like you're doing. God bless you and your father.
 
This is the right move. You may be surprised, there may be a mission parish near you with a priest that visits once a month or so.

As far as books, I really like “Everyday Saints and Other Stories” which is about a monk in the Soviet Union who is now a prominent Russian bishop. It has many interesting stories about Orthodox spirituality, including stories that deal with death and repentance, which unfortunately sounds relevant to your situation.

I also like everything by Father Seraphim Rose, his life is one of wandering and searching for truth, much like yourself, and he was able to diagnose the spirit of the age and how evil manifested itself leading up to the 20th century. You can just look up books of his, they're all worth a read. “Orthodoxy and the Religion of the Future” is a good one and I've seen others here recommend “Nihilism.”

Another one that helped me was “Thirty Steps to Heaven” which is essentially a refined version of “The Ladder” by Saint John Climacus. Whereas “The Ladder” was written for monks, this was written for the laity. It is a spiritual guide that is humbling to say the least.

There are other books on the Church in general and theology. They're useful too but I wouldn't dive too deep into theology before finding a spiritual father in real life, which it sounds like you're doing. God bless you and your father.
Wow, that was a very rich and valuable answer! Thank you very much! I really appreciate your effort in helping me.

I would start megadosing vit C and pray.

Yep, that is exactly what I am going to begin doing. Thank you very much! :)

And vitamin D, maybe not megadosing but upping that too

Yep this too will do, although I read about it quite some time ago, I now do not remember how much dose was recommended for Cancer. I do remember it was high though as in the 10000 units or so. I will have to look for it. Thank you.
 

Penitent

Pigeon
I agree with the vitamin D and C advice. IV vitamin C is also an effective cancer treatment and is even being used as an adjunctive treatment some places in allopathy.

I would point out that what lead Roosh to embrace Orthodoxy was when his sister got sick and eventually died of cancer. It seems you are in a similar situation. Roosh said once that his sister died so that he could repent and be saved. She was, in this sense, a sacrifice.
 

Rob Banks

Pelican
I believe your father's decision to not submit himself to "modern medicine" needs to be respected, and it is very good that you are respecting it.

I believe modern medicine is a devil's bargain.

I'm not saying it is always wrong to use it. But it is very respectable and dignified that your father has chosen to face death with dignity and courage rather than submit himself to the modern health system.

Other that that, I have nothing to say except to offer my prayers.

God bless.
 
I agree with the vitamin D and C advice. IV vitamin C is also an effective cancer treatment and is even being used as an adjunctive treatment some places in allopathy.

Yes we are looking at all those options right now. Unfortunately I have not found who can administer IV C.

I would point out that what lead Roosh to embrace Orthodoxy was when his sister got sick and eventually died of cancer. It seems you are in a similar situation. Roosh said once that his sister died so that he could repent and be saved.

Yes, both Rooshs story and my father's disease got me closer to God and the Church. I do consider both to be sort of a blessing in that sense.

I believe your father's decision to not submit himself to "modern medicine" needs to be respected, and it is very good that you are respecting it.

I believe modern medicine is a devil's bargain.

I'm not saying it is always wrong to use it. But it is very respectable and dignified that your father has chosen to face death with dignity and courage rather than submit himself to the modern health system.

Yes, unfortunately, greed, ambition and corruption had led Modern Medicine to do more harm than good most of the time.

As many other things in our times corruption has destroyed what once was a great science.

Other that that, I have nothing to say except to offer my prayers.

God bless.

Thank you very much. I really apreciate it.
 

fortyfive

Sparrow
My first post here.
Hello to everyone.
Hopefully, it didn't break any forum rule.

I like to encourage anyone who believes in God that we can be healed by God's power even today when Jesus is not presented personally on earth because He lives now in heaven and many believe, miracles ended with His departure.

I can share my true, personal testimony.
I was healed many times during my lifetime by God. Sometimes instantly, sometimes it took days.

First, there are some conditions required by God.
Even when you are saved, believe in Jesus Christ, you need to have Faith for being healed.
If you believe you cannot be healed then it happens. You won't be healed.

But if you increase faith by reading God's Word and testimonies, then something surely happens.
First, by reading God's truth your thoughts will start to change. Your non-believing mind will start the transformation to believing mind. Your lifetime mind conditioning about distant, nonpersonal God starts to change.
You will see God as a close, personal, merciful God because that is true.
The change will start in your mind and continue with the change in your heart. (your spirit).

Of course, you have free will and you will need to decide for yourself if you going to believe or not.
But so easy as you can say ,,I don't believe,, you can say ,,I believe,, and I decide to believe because nonbelieving You God took me nowhere until now.

Focus on God. Read His Word, where He promises healing for believers.

If I can recommend only one book except for Bible, it would be ,,Christ the Healer,, written by F.F. Bosworth in 1924.
Reading this book created in my heart unwavering faith and I was healed repeatedly a couple of times, without the help from any human or service.
( I am not discouraging anyone from looking for help in Church or another place )

This is a huge and serious topic I know but what is more important in life than searching for God?
Nothing.

God bless you.
 

NickK

Robin
My first post here.
Hello to everyone.
Hopefully, it didn't break any forum rule.
Well, fortyfive, your post is off topic and should be made in the "Faith General" section.

Here is the Orthodox Church section, you see. The One that our Lord Jesus Christ established on this earth.
 

fortyfive

Sparrow
Well, fortyfive, your post is off topic and should be made in the "Faith General" section.

Here is the Orthodox Church section, you see. The One that our Lord Jesus Christ established on this earth.
As I understand I cannot create a new topic yet.
I wanted simply to help this man because it looks like he needs help.

I am not here to create any denominational strife and I am not promoting any specific denomination. I even not realized in what Christian section I answered. I just shared my experience universally for everyone.
But I suppose by name Jesus Christ every Christian means the same person so maybe we are in unity.
 
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fortyfive

Sparrow
fortyfive, which specific conditions were you healed from?
To your answer. I don't know exactly what condition it was.
My first healing with help of the book , Christ the Healer,, happened around 15 years ago.

With my wife, we were traveling from east Europe (living here) to Croatia. (former Yugoslavia) for the summer holiday.
During our travel by car, we stopped for a short sleep pause at the fuel station. I slept in the car only in light clothes, no blanket. I was healthy, strong, heading to the sea for vacation, no flu season, no worrying about anything.
After a couple of hours, I woke up with a strange unhealthy feeling in my body. Anyway, we continued and in the evening we arrived at a rural Croatian island.
The next morning I woke up tired, fewer, trembling from cold. On a hot summer day 36-celsius degrees.
Something was wrong.
We tried going to the beach but even the warm sea felt to me like a cold winter river.
In the evening I was in really bad shape. Like poisoned.
We were in a small postwar village with no medical facility, I didn't have insurance, far from home and I began to fear what is going on.
I told my wife, that even when we are going lost holiday and money for accommodation that we probably should try going home when I am still capable of driving.

At this time I was an already newborn Christian. I knew teaching about healing and if someone asks me about it I would answer, yes God promised us healing, and is it true we can be healed, because of Christ.
I tried praying but inside I knew surely my prayers are going nowhere and nothing will happen.
In my mind, I knew every verses and promises about healing.
I knew God is omnipotent and is willing to heal people because He revealed His will about this matter in Bible.

But I knew also that this is not going to happen to me now and here.

Despite this fact, at this time still, I would say to anybody, that God will heal me because I was taught to have a good confession but deep inside my heart I knew there will be no healing. I wasn't in God's healing club.

I didn't believe that divine healing is possible for me. That kind of miracle can happen to someone somewhere but not me. I am just an invisible ordinary guy.
Like things in tv news. It always happens only to other people living in other countries.

Yes God did to me great things before I knew that already but I thought it was a random act, His act and I don't have the capability to capture His attention when I want.

Back to holiday. During packing for possible leaving next morning I found in our baggage between other books this book about healing (Christ the Healer). I never read it before.

I started reading this book.
I had read it slowly, rereading some sentences again.
I was keeping positive attitude towards this teaching, not cynical or pessimistic.
I decided that I will choose to believe writer's words and God's words about everything. I can decide what I want to believe.
There is nothing to lose.

Continued reading. Slowly and fully focused without distraction.
My thoughts began to change.
My mind was full of God's promises because I was looking at them constantly, it was hours.
Then after maybe 60-80 pages only I began to have faith in God's word.
Not only in mind but slowly in heart also.

Then click and suddenly I knew it. Absolutely.
I was healed.
Past tense. Not I will be. I was. Already.
Done.
I was healed because God said it in His Word and I believed it.


And now the funny part.
My outside physical condition was still without change. I had still fewer, trembling, barely walking. Absolutely nothing changed in the visible world or in my body.

But I knew and I said to my wife, we are not going anywhere, because I am healed.
She thought I lost my mind.
But I knew it. I was healed.

I even laughed at my body and sickness. Like as we were two different people.
My true myself inside and outer man my body.
The inside man knew he was healed already but the outer man must wait for physical manifestation. I felt pity for him.

The next morning I woke up and my body was healed too.
No trace about any sickness. Nothing.

The rest of the holiday we spent on tiny isolated island sized around 50 meters across, where we were coming on our little rubber boat every day.
There was nobody except one small rabbit living in dope under rock.
I was reading this book and Bible every day here maybe around 7 hours daily.
No distraction here, like a hermit.

It changed my life.
Immediately after the holiday, God blessed me also generously financially (we were a little struggling) and He led me to new business, like a little kid, and ever after we never had financial problems.

Last thing for now.
Always when I wholeheartedly searched for Him there was an answer.
He is not a deaf, distant, cold God living somewhere far in the universe, who doesn't care.
Start looking for Him and you will find him.

God bless you
 
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