She is friends with her ex...

lunchmoney

Woodpecker
Curious to see if my advice is a consensus or not...

A client of mine shared he has begun to date someone for 3 months after being on the sidelines after a divorce for a year. The current woman he is seeing is (in his opinion) a 7 physically, 33, unmarried with no children, size 4 dress and feminine. The "concern" he had was that she still is in contact with her ex of 4 years from time to time.

I asked why would they be in contact if they have no legal reason to i.e kids, and he said she still considers him a friend. I told him to cut his losses now before he invests any more time if he feels insecure about the situation.

What say you?
 
"Friends", yeah right. As if all the previous sexual desires just disappeared forever overnight when they decided to become friends instead...

I would have left her yesterday. I've never known a man who didn't want to sleep with a woman he was a so called "friend" with and especially an ex for casual encounters.

I also thinks it says a lot about the woman. At age 33 you don't have that much time left as a woman and if she was serious about finding the best possible man for herself she wouldn't have the time to meet an ex and she would know that it would come off as a big red flag for any stable guy looking for a serious relationship.
 

lunchmoney

Woodpecker
"Friends", yeah right. As if all the previous sexual desires just disappeared forever overnight when they decided to become friends instead...

I would have left her yesterday. I've never known a man who didn't want to sleep with a woman he was a so called "friend" with and especially an ex for casual encounters.

I also thinks it says a lot about the woman. At age 33 you don't have that much time left as a woman and if she was serious about finding the best possible man for herself she wouldn't have the time to meet an ex and she would know that it would come off as a big red flag for any stable guy looking for a serious relationship.
100% agreement. I feel sorry for the guy because this is the first relationship post divorce, and just purely based on photos of his ex wife and this girl, she is more physically appealing. That said, he isn't ready for the roller-coaster of emotions she could have in store for him.
 
Talking from personal experience....ie, happened to me. Got married to my wife, a beautiful woman, naturally also became friends with her friends. One fellow was a supposed friend from before, she swore they never had a relationship....ok, in my naivety I accepted that and we often met up.

Fast forward a few years, we have 2 kids, we, as all marriages do, hit a rough spot, but instead of her trying to fix the problem, it's left to me to go to " counselling"......by myself, whilst she went off to bang the male friend.....my security staff told me, i had no idea.... So yeah, I'm wiser, and i hope a few fellows here keep this " male friend" BS in mind.....he's the first fellow yr wife is going to bang....( turn to for comfort) when the chips are down.
 

lunchmoney

Woodpecker
Talking from personal experience....ie, happened to me. Got married to my wife, a beautiful woman, naturally also became friends with her friends. One fellow was a supposed friend from before, she swore they never had a relationship....ok, in my naivety I accepted that and we often met up.

Fast forward a few years, we have 2 kids, we, as all marriages do, hit a rough spot, but instead of her trying to fix the problem, it's left to me to go to " counselling"......by myself, whilst she went off to bang the male friend.....my security staff told me, i had no idea.... So yeah, I'm wiser, and i hope a few fellows here keep this " male friend" BS in mind.....he's the first fellow yr wife is going to bang....( turn to for comfort) when the chips are down.
I'm sorry to hear you went through this. Are you two still together?
 

Dr. Howard

Peacock
Gold Member
Talking from personal experience....ie, happened to me. Got married to my wife, a beautiful woman, naturally also became friends with her friends. One fellow was a supposed friend from before, she swore they never had a relationship....ok, in my naivety I accepted that and we often met up.

Fast forward a few years, we have 2 kids, we, as all marriages do, hit a rough spot, but instead of her trying to fix the problem, it's left to me to go to " counselling"......by myself, whilst she went off to bang the male friend.....my security staff told me, i had no idea.... So yeah, I'm wiser, and i hope a few fellows here keep this " male friend" BS in mind.....he's the first fellow yr wife is going to bang....( turn to for comfort) when the chips are down.

We're just going to gloss over the part where you have a staff of security people?!
 

911

Peacock
Gold Member
Curious to see if my advice is a consensus or not...

A client of mine shared he has begun to date someone for 3 months after being on the sidelines after a divorce for a year. The current woman he is seeing is (in his opinion) a 7 physically, 33, unmarried with no children, size 4 dress and feminine. The "concern" he had was that she still is in contact with her ex of 4 years from time to time.

I asked why would they be in contact if they have no legal reason to i.e kids, and he said she still considers him a friend. I told him to cut his losses now before he invests any more time if he feels insecure about the situation.

What say you?

I would advise him to confront her and make it clear to her that contacts with exes are a barrier to future commitment, that he himself wouldn't see his exes out of respect for her and as a commitment to the relationship, and that going forward he expects the same kind of serious dedication and respect as a foundation towards a solid union. Give her that choice, and make it clear.
 
I'm sorry to hear you went through this. Are you two still together?
Unfortunatly no. I am actually quite pleased! To think how many men are out there are in the dark about their wifes goings on? Glad i found out.

Theres nothing worse than getting lied to and cheated on by someone who you thought had your back. Come to think of it, im far happier being single now. I didnt think it possible, but after the initial shock, i really am.
 

AngryBird

Pigeon
Curious to see if my advice is a consensus or not...

A client of mine shared he has begun to date someone for 3 months after being on the sidelines after a divorce for a year. The current woman he is seeing is (in his opinion) a 7 physically, 33, unmarried with no children, size 4 dress and feminine. The "concern" he had was that she still is in contact with her ex of 4 years from time to time.

I asked why would they be in contact if they have no legal reason to i.e kids, and he said she still considers him a friend. I told him to cut his losses now before he invests any more time if he feels insecure about the situation.

What say you?
Agreed.

No one should stay friends with their ex. Ever. Even better, don't have any exes and marry your one and only.
 
Top