Should Christians use game for the purpose of marriage ?

Cold

Pigeon

I agree with Jesse on this. Often, if a woman respects you and has a good relationship with her father, it's far easier to bring her to Christianity and live with her than it is being with a woman that has been "Christian" her whole life.

I also agree with Jesse when he notes how so many Christians read the bible, go to church, but fail to behave in a Christian way. He says they 'know about' God but they are not 'of him'.

In particular I see this a lot with Baptists and other Evangelicals.
That's true, a lot of sermons by Paul Washer say similar, that there is no distinction between the secular world and how some Christians behave. I'll check this video out.
 

Hannibal

Ostrich
Gold Member
We don't live in a society that has any stop gap for curbing degenerate female behavior, so using some aspects of what you could call "game" is necessary, although those aspects used to be typical manly behavior. The fat domineering female and the whipped, harmless looking husband are all too common.

Avoid excessive supplication or folding to her every demand, have an actual goal in life that you expect her to be on board with, be the mountain to her howling wind, be a man of faith and expect her to follow suit, basic stuff that fathers used to teach their sons but was absent or undermined in the previous and current generation.

In return for that respect and authority you should have some actual substance behind it and not mere weasel words and psychological gambits. Faith in God is first. After this, I am not saying you should know specific things like how to rebuild a car engine from scratch, but if your only talent in life is to push buttons in a cubicle and your physique and interests reflect that then don't be surprised by what comes next.
 

NoMoreTO

Ostrich
Yes game is necessary.

There is a difference between using game as deception vs. understanding how to generate some initial attraction, rapport with a women/ relationship dynamics.

Recently I got some pushback from the gf and reawakened to the fact that the game really never ends. Sort of Sad, but it is the nature of women, and it's a man's job to guide her through that nature. Sometimes in ways she doesn't understand.
 
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Tippy

Robin
I don't see anything wrong with using 'game' as a way to try to meet a wife. As long as the goal is a series of marriage interviews and not fornication then what's the problem?

It's not realistic to rely solely on the church as a means of meeting a potential wife.
 

Tippy

Robin
Game is just how you seduce women. You can use it to fornicate or you can use it to find a wife. There's nothing inherently wrong about it IMO. Before I had acquired some knowledge of game, I didn't know how to escalate. I would be talking to a girl, I would charm her, entertain her but due to my inability to escalate, she would soon lose her initial interest, leaving me perplexed wondering 'what happened, I though everything went well'. It did, I just didn't take initiative when there was opportunity. So that knowledge to escalate will help me to make sure that I don't lose on possible wife material girl due to her losing interest because of my inability to escalate.

You shouldn't be worrying about escalating if your goal is to find a wife. The only time for escalation will be on your wedding night.
 
There are things I learned from that world that I find helpful now in my Christian life, but there's no way to know whether I would have learned those same things, in a better and holier context, if I'd grown up in a Christian family instead of a liberal atheist one. So yes there is some overlap between game and masculinity, as stated above, but that doesn't mean that game is inherently worth studying if you can learn the same (and better) lessons about leadership from your priest and your Church.
 

Zagor

Woodpecker
You shouldn't be worrying about escalating if your goal is to find a wife. The only time for escalation will be on your wedding night.

If you don't do that you'll just end up in the friendzone, and not married. I'm not talking about taking her to bed in the first date, but about expressing your intentions clearly.
 

lskdfjldsf

Pelican
Gold Member
Married man here. Game is just a tool at your disposal. What matters is that you're using the tool productively and with good intentions.

Women are still women, even devout ones. Understanding their psychology and being able to attract them is still important if you plan on finding a wife (and keeping her, and molding her, and overcoming hard times). Just because you have faith, doesn't mean a girl will be miraculously attracted to Boy Scout Mormon types with no humor or confidence.
 

Tippy

Robin
If you don't do that you'll just end up in the friendzone, and not married. I'm not talking about taking her to bed in the first date, but about expressing your intentions clearly.
Yes, you do have to express your intentions ultimately. But if you mean escalation as a series of quick tests to check if pre martial fornication might be possible, then it is to be avoided.
 

Godward

Pigeon
No, we should not use "game" for the purpose of marriage. Marriage is not a game, but a duel to the death (G.K. Chesterton). Therefore, we ought to take it seriously. And that which predates it as well, namely courtship. However, I do believe that some of the social skills that are part of game can be of tremendous value to courting a woman. But that is merely because game instrumentalizes these social skills for a wicked purpose (fornication). At any rate, I did learn some social and conversational skills from Roosh's former works that are still of use to me in courtship. But my purpose changed 180 degrees. Yet, the most important thing is to truly live and know the Faith. Once you are on the right path religiously, go and find good resources on courtship wisdom. (Much knowledge is currently scattered, though, so there is a gap in the market to filled in this regard.)
 

Enea

Pigeon
There are certain qualities which we strive for that may be deemed part of 'game' or that facilitate 'game'(charm, charisma, physical appeal & beauty, etc.). Now, in and of themselves they are good qualities. He who has acquired them can put them to good or bad use, for selfish or selfless ends. Insofar as one has acquired these qualities the capacity for good or evil is increased. What one does with that capacity is up to them because '
For everyone to whom much is given, from him much will be required; and to whom much has been committed, of him they will ask the more.'
 

Wutang

Hummingbird
Gold Member
Back when I was in college I was sitting in a lecture hall before class started and I heard two Catholic girls talking to each other. They were talking about how they were at some sort of Catholic campus ministry social event and how they were looking to meet guys there but all the guys seemed super shy and had no idea how to approach and talk to girls. I remember one of them saying something along the lines of "You know, it's not a sin to be talking to someone of the opposite sex". I'm sure those guys at that event could have used some knowledge of basic game principals. I'm not saying they had to use openers like "Did you see the fight outside of mass" or use "dread game" or how to physically escalate and pull. Instead, these guys could have been learned how to tell a story that would display some of their attractive traits or learned some body language adjustments to seem more confident. I don't think any of that is contrary to Christian morals.
 
Game will attract her for the short term. But it will not keep het for the long term. Once you're tired of playing the clown she's gone. Be aware the type of woman you attract with game, I guarantee you 99.99% that she's of this world, fancies all things materialism and the consumer/entertainment society offers.
 

Bluto

Kingfisher
I advise you to read Dalrock's blog on game and Christianity. Blog is below:

 

Bluto

Kingfisher
To add to before: The most successful marriages that I have ever seen in real life had very clear elements of game that the male was doing. They may not know it, or know that it was "game," but they were gaming their wife on a regular basis. If you don't use the tactics that you learn from game, then you are asking for a divorce. Likewise every man that I know that was divorced gave up gaming their wife. They may not have been having extra-marital affairs, but you could tell that they gave up and was just going through the motions for a time before one of them left. Remember the tactics and elements that we point to as "game" were used effectively all throughout the civilized world for hundreds if not thousands of years, and to include ages that were more parochial than our age.
 
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