I'm surprised that OPs' looks are fading at 33.
Should I quit my job to find a latina wife in my homeland in South America?
- Thread starter LivingFossil
- Start date
Tiger Man
Woodpecker
Spaniard88 said:
Brosemite said:
I agree with this line of thinking.
I'm also an immigrant to the U.S. (or, I was, but that's another story). So, I completely understand the drive to consider women from the "ancestral home". And, in some cases, it can make a lot of sense. On the other hand, it is true that a small number of these women exist in places like the U.S.
I look at it like a Venn Diagram. Some of the circles might be (as said) low/no sexual history, solid extended family, religious/philosophical/political values are pro-family, younger, not career driven, etc. As you go to places like the U.S., those circles get pulled further apart. Feweer and fewer women will fit the bill. But, the U.S. has a massive population. So, if you are talking about 3% of the population, that is still millions and millions of people.
But then, as I am always going on about, you have to consider the domain. This might be the country or region or, even, an ethnic group. Whatever culture the girl is stewing in will be key. And, that is where you can run in to a set of problems that exist in the U.S., but will be minimized or absent in other places.
The first is the most obvious and often mentioned - what happens if you bring the girl to the U.S.? Does she become "Americanized". No bueno.
Apart from that, there is the consideration of what you are willing to give up or put up with for a girl. The best example I can think of is the religious girl. I know a number of almost 10s that are 23-28 and would love to get married. The catch: they are insanely religious. It is the most important thing in their lives. Full stop. That's it. If you want in, you will not only have to marry them, you will have to sign up for church/temple/whatever five days a week, and helping out all the time, for free. You have to sign up for no TV in the house. No normal internet usage. And, don't you dare get caught looking at porn. Most men don't want to go that far, even if the wife they get ticks all the boxes.
The issue is that the larger culture in the U.S. makes women like this rather rare outside of certain religious communities.
Such is not the case in other countries. There are many, many countries in the world in which "quality women" or "good girls" or whatever are a product of cultural control, not religious control. Women in these places can be more "normal" - as in, not super religious - while also ticking most if not all of the other boxes.
This is why I supported OPs idea in my first post. At the very least, I think that seeing more quality women in another country can give you that taste for what is possible and what you should and shouldn't settle for.
Dulceácido
Ostrich
A man who leaves money to chase a woman will end up with neither.
LivingFossil
Chicken
Wow, thank yall for responding.
Ill respond to what some have said....
I dont wanna say what country I'm from, but I have traveled all over SA and know very well the differences in the woman I'd say I know this better than most people, mostly like all over the world its a lot is about big city vrs small town.
I do plan on moving back to SA in sometime but, the best place to make money is USA not SA, I must bring her back. I should tell you I do know some Christian Americans that have met SA girls in churches, were girls are down to marry fast, and they have had good long marriages here in the USA.
Honestly I dont know what I want in a wife....this is such a hard question! Feminine, hard working, not a career chaser, good mother, good genetics, similar principals as me.
Ive gone to SA for months at a time for several years....Ive had long distance friends but if there is no chance of my staying there I doesnt really work....it can be done but I think to it right one year is better than a few months
I have never had my life so together, I live way too comfortable here. I got it all but it gets boring. I not gonna say I am busy shooing away models but I only have time for one or two dates a week and I have more than enough decent woman. My game is good I think I do very good for a SA man in America, I think I have an advantage actually. Few SA males in America that are educated, not broke, and lift.
Ive date tons of Asian chicks, family and friends always made fun of me for my yellow fever...it took like a decade but I am FINALLY over it hahaha. I love Asian girls but I just don't wanna share my DNA with them...as in kids.
What's wrong with dating model type girls? That's what I was programmed to like, but as I speak to older men all over the world they tell me about the burden of having a good looking gf/wife....many say its not work it....especially older Colombian men. I think men like woman get jadded by bad experiences, I ve met sooo many American men who beg me to never marry. I'm half convinced but having a wife and kids seems like most "natural" think to do, and in SA and if my family if you dont do it there must be something wrong with your brain or you are gay...thought I have older cousins who stick to pets.
I have been saving half of every paycheck for the last five years. I can easily afford to take a year off and not work, especially if I am at my home in SA where everything is cheap. Here in America live as if I was in SA....cheap with few possessions. I would not need to work while in SA. Id travel for part of the time. I just know that my great job will not be here for me a year later, but I know I can get a decent job very easily in my field when I get back. In fact I don't know if I wanna come back to my USA hometown anyways. I am thinking if I quit it will be July 2019.
My looks are fading at 33! That doesn't matter to the woman, I am still good looking enough and am very confident. I just said that to say I see I am ageing and should take action. Humans were meant to live only to about 40 or 50 civilization is just like a zoo where all animals have record life spans. In SA I can easily date a quality early 20s girls and people would be good with it, my whole family in SA is always trying to hook me up with hot 20 year olds, and Ive dated several but I keep coming back to the USA so whats the point.
All I know is I have been very lucky to have my foot in two worlds USA and SA and see how relationships and woman are in both I am very lucky that I can go between both worlds easier that almost anyone. I just think the responsible thing to go is when I am ready to go the place that matches what I most want. That being said American woman from smaller towns are not that bad. I live in big city, all the woman I date are way too educated, want to keep living in the city, and are career chasers, I actually like meeting less educated woman. Dating doctors, lawyers or girls who make six figures means nothing to me, I am more interested their ratios, principals and non professional passions.
Thanks you for your time, I really think few people can give me good feedback like y'all.
One question:
In order to bring a girl to the USA from SA do I have to legally marry her in a way she could divorce rape me? Can I just marry her in SA to avoid that?
Ill respond to what some have said....
I dont wanna say what country I'm from, but I have traveled all over SA and know very well the differences in the woman I'd say I know this better than most people, mostly like all over the world its a lot is about big city vrs small town.
I do plan on moving back to SA in sometime but, the best place to make money is USA not SA, I must bring her back. I should tell you I do know some Christian Americans that have met SA girls in churches, were girls are down to marry fast, and they have had good long marriages here in the USA.
Honestly I dont know what I want in a wife....this is such a hard question! Feminine, hard working, not a career chaser, good mother, good genetics, similar principals as me.
Ive gone to SA for months at a time for several years....Ive had long distance friends but if there is no chance of my staying there I doesnt really work....it can be done but I think to it right one year is better than a few months
I have never had my life so together, I live way too comfortable here. I got it all but it gets boring. I not gonna say I am busy shooing away models but I only have time for one or two dates a week and I have more than enough decent woman. My game is good I think I do very good for a SA man in America, I think I have an advantage actually. Few SA males in America that are educated, not broke, and lift.
Ive date tons of Asian chicks, family and friends always made fun of me for my yellow fever...it took like a decade but I am FINALLY over it hahaha. I love Asian girls but I just don't wanna share my DNA with them...as in kids.
What's wrong with dating model type girls? That's what I was programmed to like, but as I speak to older men all over the world they tell me about the burden of having a good looking gf/wife....many say its not work it....especially older Colombian men. I think men like woman get jadded by bad experiences, I ve met sooo many American men who beg me to never marry. I'm half convinced but having a wife and kids seems like most "natural" think to do, and in SA and if my family if you dont do it there must be something wrong with your brain or you are gay...thought I have older cousins who stick to pets.
I have been saving half of every paycheck for the last five years. I can easily afford to take a year off and not work, especially if I am at my home in SA where everything is cheap. Here in America live as if I was in SA....cheap with few possessions. I would not need to work while in SA. Id travel for part of the time. I just know that my great job will not be here for me a year later, but I know I can get a decent job very easily in my field when I get back. In fact I don't know if I wanna come back to my USA hometown anyways. I am thinking if I quit it will be July 2019.
My looks are fading at 33! That doesn't matter to the woman, I am still good looking enough and am very confident. I just said that to say I see I am ageing and should take action. Humans were meant to live only to about 40 or 50 civilization is just like a zoo where all animals have record life spans. In SA I can easily date a quality early 20s girls and people would be good with it, my whole family in SA is always trying to hook me up with hot 20 year olds, and Ive dated several but I keep coming back to the USA so whats the point.
All I know is I have been very lucky to have my foot in two worlds USA and SA and see how relationships and woman are in both I am very lucky that I can go between both worlds easier that almost anyone. I just think the responsible thing to go is when I am ready to go the place that matches what I most want. That being said American woman from smaller towns are not that bad. I live in big city, all the woman I date are way too educated, want to keep living in the city, and are career chasers, I actually like meeting less educated woman. Dating doctors, lawyers or girls who make six figures means nothing to me, I am more interested their ratios, principals and non professional passions.
Thanks you for your time, I really think few people can give me good feedback like y'all.
One question:
In order to bring a girl to the USA from SA do I have to legally marry her in a way she could divorce rape me? Can I just marry her in SA to avoid that?
Answering your question: I would advise you to do an university course in your country and this way you would meet more suitable/family oriented girls. One month is way too short, you wouldn't know what this girl is truly like if you only know her for one month. One year you would see her true personality and you have a higher chance to meet more suitable women.
I don't think that is a bad idea at all, if you can afford it, do it. You already know that you won't find a good woman in the west.
I don't think that is a bad idea at all, if you can afford it, do it. You already know that you won't find a good woman in the west.
The Lizard of Oz said:
Let me explain what I love about this post, beyond merely how it relates to the OP.
The older you get the less you have the time/inclination to fuck around making everyone guess what it is you really want from them.
Most guys might put out uncommitted feelers at best. Their friends ask them "are you looking to settle down" and fearing they might be saddled with some plain-Jane the man shrugs his shoulders and says "maybe, it's a possibility".
Half of the respondents instantly rule out introducing him to the cute virgin in their choir group.
The friends ask "what are you looking for in a woman" and the man weakly responds "just someone... nice... you know?"
The respondents start picking out ugly girls, because pretty girls are for men with the balls to be a bit more specific, and lord knows if you're not going to lay out some standards then somebody has to be shackled to those hogs.
As the father to a somewhat shy teen boy one of the most difficult but worthwhile things I'm trying to instill in him is to have the balls to decide what you want and ask for it completely unapologetically.
You're asking, not demanding, and you can still be polite, but beating around the bush wastes your time and theirs. If you have the balls to ask, you will be surprised how often people go out of their way to give you what you want. There is something intrinsic about the will to power that makes followers (99% of the population) fall in line and do as they're told.
Go the local deli and look at the difference in the way women regard the men who order precisely without hesitation and the men who umm and ahh for minutes at a time. This mentality filters into all aspects of human relations and frankly if there was one principle I could go back and instill in my younger self it would be this.
Have the balls to decide what you want and ask for it completely unapologetically.
I'm gonna say "no." Read Travelerkai's dating guide. It's about China but he went abroad and found a wife in China and he's not Chinese. He did it with his own two hands and with no help--and he did it without sacrificing his career.
If you're from this country there's no reason you should need to quit your job to find wife material. Like LOZ said, get your family in on it.
If you're from this country there's no reason you should need to quit your job to find wife material. Like LOZ said, get your family in on it.
chrisblackbeard
Sparrow
I look at it this way:
What value does your money have here in the states? Can you even "buy" what you want here?
For me, the answer is a "no". While I can earn great here in the US, I can't convert any of that to happiness. No matter how successful you become here, you will never have the security of a stable marriage and family.
For me, that was enough to decide on expatriating the United States and pursue a life in a place where I can live a fulfilling life.
What value does your money have here in the states? Can you even "buy" what you want here?
For me, the answer is a "no". While I can earn great here in the US, I can't convert any of that to happiness. No matter how successful you become here, you will never have the security of a stable marriage and family.
For me, that was enough to decide on expatriating the United States and pursue a life in a place where I can live a fulfilling life.
You'll never be able to get a better job?
That's some defeatist thinking, at 33. I would stay a few years to get enough experience to take a year off and still have demand when you get on the market.
Otherwise, I'd go for it. I plan on doing the same thing, at your age in Latin America, my nuke option if things don't work out. By then, I'll easily have enough work experience to be able to take time off.
That's some defeatist thinking, at 33. I would stay a few years to get enough experience to take a year off and still have demand when you get on the market.
Otherwise, I'd go for it. I plan on doing the same thing, at your age in Latin America, my nuke option if things don't work out. By then, I'll easily have enough work experience to be able to take time off.
Graft said:
Latin America is pretty cool. Stick your toes in the water. The more familiar you are with the area, the better decisions you can make. Also, the better your mastery of the language the more capable you are at bringing value to (foreign) employers here. You don't want a local standard salary down here if you can get a gloriful colonist salary. That requires at a minimum enough spanish to tell locals to eat your shit as whores in the way that hits them the hardest (there are so many ways to do this and the difference isn't always country to country, but barrio to barrio).
I found your message searching for "yellow fever". I registered only to respond your message.
I did something similar to what you plan to do. I resigned from work in my country in order to go an Asian country. I do not know if it was a good decision and I do not know if your decision is good. But my decision brought me suffering.
I did not get a good job. It will be difficult to get a job like I had. And I got sick with depression.
I tried to find Asian wife. I did not find one as I imagined. It was an illusion what I thought about the Asian woman. The reality is different.
What I suggest is: have a plan B. If it goes wrong, what are you going to do? I did not get a good job, running after an illusion.
I'm hoping to recover. But that brought me a lot of suffering. I was depressed for months. And with depression, I can not find an Asian wife.
Think if what you imagine about meeting a Latino woman: is it real or is an illusion?
Think about: what if you cannot get a good job?
Consider also other hypotheses. For example, find a Latina from your country online.
Remember one video of a person who resigned from work in Japan to go to Thailand:
"Making Big Changes in Your Life: Fantasy vs Reality"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LarCAeCG_7o
He suffered a lot because of that decision and gives good advice in the video.
He says he burned the bridges and had nowhere to return. So he recommends experimenting first, because reality may be different from what the person imagines.
If it does not work, you'd better have a plan. Make a safety net.
I did something similar to what you plan to do. I resigned from work in my country in order to go an Asian country. I do not know if it was a good decision and I do not know if your decision is good. But my decision brought me suffering.
I did not get a good job. It will be difficult to get a job like I had. And I got sick with depression.
I tried to find Asian wife. I did not find one as I imagined. It was an illusion what I thought about the Asian woman. The reality is different.
What I suggest is: have a plan B. If it goes wrong, what are you going to do? I did not get a good job, running after an illusion.
I'm hoping to recover. But that brought me a lot of suffering. I was depressed for months. And with depression, I can not find an Asian wife.
Think if what you imagine about meeting a Latino woman: is it real or is an illusion?
Think about: what if you cannot get a good job?
Consider also other hypotheses. For example, find a Latina from your country online.
Remember one video of a person who resigned from work in Japan to go to Thailand:
"Making Big Changes in Your Life: Fantasy vs Reality"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LarCAeCG_7o
He suffered a lot because of that decision and gives good advice in the video.
He says he burned the bridges and had nowhere to return. So he recommends experimenting first, because reality may be different from what the person imagines.
If it does not work, you'd better have a plan. Make a safety net.
LivingFossil said:
LivingFossil said:
OP, I'm not sure how to answer your question on whether you should quit your job for a year to find a wife down in Latin America. But if you haven't taken a good year off to do some really cool shit that you enjoy at least once in your life, you need to do it. And do it now. I promise you won't regret it.