Should young women go to college? If not, what should they (realistically) do?

Should young women go to college?

  • Yes

  • No

  • I don’t know

  • Maybe, under certain conditions (explain)

  • Other (explain)


Results are only viewable after voting.
consider this as a counterargument - a college may be a more wholesome environment than a rough inner city neighborhood. many colleges still have a fair amount of a socially conservative vibe. there are christian groups on campus. fraternities/sororities for what is worth promote traditional gender roles, albeit in a bit of a sinful manner
 

Max Roscoe

Pelican
Orthodox Inquirer
I've never really explored the question of why age differences are frowned upon in the US--I've simply always seeked out those healthy societies where it is not just accepted, but preferred.

It is an interesting question. Outside of outliving your husband and being alone, I can't think of a good reason for it. But with almost 60% of marriages failing in the west (is it over 60% now?), it's not very likely a woman will be married to her first husband anyway, so that doesn't make much sense.

The US is weird though--you are heavily discouraged from considering marriage at a young age, and then when you are older you are told you should not be courting younger, fertile women. What?

The often quoted Aristotilian model of 18 for a woman and 37 for a man is a time where both partners are offering their "best" to the arrangement. The man is more professionally, emotionally, and financially secure, and the woman is a few years past puberty and at the peak of her reproductive cycle. I'm curious how that society handled the eventual death of the man. My assumption is that families were far stronger, and children and grandchildren would be either living together or in close proximity, and would bring great joy to the woman.

Also consider that men love helping their partners and being needed. If you meet a younger woman who is interested in, say, painting, and you build her a desk for her and find an art teacher to instruct her and encourage and foster that talent, it is incredibly rewarding. If you meet a 30 year old woman, she doesn't need your help and likely has already found her interests and is far less interested in trying new things, and the man misses out on a vital emotional need.
 

Luna Novem

Kingfisher
Woman
I think the wrong question is being asked here.

I think anyone, male or female, should ideally go to college if they so desire.

The real issue, though, I think, is that (most) colleges are cesspools of liberal indoctrination. I wouldn't think ANYONE ought to go to them.
 

Starlight

Kingfisher
Woman
I was listening to parents I know the other day explaining how they thought a guy (he was 28) was too old for their daughter (she's 20?). I am so bothered by where this thinking comes from I didn't even challenge them on it (they're boomers), to see what their dumb answer would be (I guess that's why I don't bother anymore). I am still constantly interested and confused as to why this is such a strong feeling for people, since that clearly is what it is; they never give a legit answer as to why and age gap matters. Even a group of forum members got together for a discussion, and a few that have kids (and these are all red pill guys) will invariably bring out the same sentiment in some way or another, without a real answer. Not everyone answers the same way or is bothered by it, but just to ask and use the example, why do you think so many (parents or otherwise) are against a late 30s or 40 year old man being with a early 20s/mid 20s girl? My example above was hysterical because it was two young adults, both in their 20s, and there still was a concern/objection. Which makes me think yet again that only in other cultures can one find sanity anymore.
I bet the modern age norms in the US are probably a result of the high school/college system reforms during the early 1900s with women starting to attend high school and college (co-ed colleges too) more regularly and coupling up with someone they met there of a similar age whereas before, it would have been through some other kind of social connection/event or arrangement.
 
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I was listening to parents I know the other day explaining how they thought a guy (he was 28) was too old for their daughter (she's 20?). I am so bothered by where this thinking comes from I didn't even challenge them on it (they're boomers), to see what their dumb answer would be (I guess that's why I don't bother anymore). I am still constantly interested and confused as to why this is such a strong feeling for people, since that clearly is what it is; they never give a legit answer as to why and age gap matters. Even a group of forum members got together for a discussion, and a few that have kids (and these are all red pill guys) will invariably bring out the same sentiment in some way or another, without a real answer. Not everyone answers the same way or is bothered by it, but just to ask and use the example, why do you think so many (parents or otherwise) are against a late 30s or 40 year old man being with a early 20s/mid 20s girl? My example above was hysterical because it was two young adults, both in their 20s, and there still was a concern/objection. Which makes me think yet again that only in other cultures can one find sanity anymore.

Also how many supermodels look good without makeup? At the very least waking up to a woman not that different from when you knew her when you chose her shouldn't be a shock.
 
Maybe because of life expectancy. On average globally, women's life expectancy is 75 and men's is 70. If the man is 20 years older, that means she's likely to outlive him by 25 years - meaning he's gone at 70, and she's left widowed at 50. I don't guess any parent wants their daughter to be widowed at a young(er) age.
Also why looking after his own health is also the Husbands duty. No good reason why the wife should be prematurely widowed because of poor health choices and not maintaining fitness.
 

Ah_Tibor

Kingfisher
Woman
Orthodox
I bet the modern age norms in the US are probably a result of the high school/college system reforms during the early 1900s with women starting to attend high school and college (co-ed colleges too) more regularly and coupling up with someone they met there of a similar age whereas before, it would have been through some other kind of social connection/event or arrangement.

Agreed. I think that's also why people tend to have friendships within their own age group, too.
 

Ah_Tibor

Kingfisher
Woman
Orthodox
The US is weird though--you are heavily discouraged from considering marriage at a young age, and then when you are older you are told you should not be courting younger, fertile women. What?

The American ideal is the meeting of the minds, two people in similar life situations who bond together (I'm not saying this should be the ideal, but it's a common perception)

I got hit on a lot as a teenager by older men (never guys in my own age bracket) and it was weird, to say the least. I don't think I ever considered one as a viable partner and I would have been too immature, anyway. I was an old-looking teenager and now people think I'm younger (or are just being nice), so maybe I'm stuck at one mental age, haha.

Also I think the assumption is that the guy just wants to have fun and not marry because oftentimes they will have grown children, ex-wives, etc., or it's a sugar daddy type relationship.
 
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Blade Runner

Ostrich
Orthodox
Maybe because of life expectancy. On average globally, women's life expectancy is 75 and men's is 70. If the man is 20 years older, that means she's likely to outlive him by 25 years - meaning he's gone at 70, and she's left widowed at 50. I don't guess any parent wants their daughter to be widowed at a young(er) age.
I think this is at least an attempt to be reasonable, but there are all sorts of examples of men also dying in their late 50s and 60s so the point is the discernment of the individual, not just the age (I know, averages, blah blah). The other reason why this tends to be stupid is that if you have 3 kids and they are taken care of for at least 20 years, then even if you are worried about point 1, not having a husband is pretty much irrelevant for everyone involved, it's just suboptimal. For others, it could be optimal :squintlol:

As it stands, women tend to outlive men regardless, so I find it a red herring.
 

Blade Runner

Ostrich
Orthodox
Also I think the assumption is that the guy just wants to have fun and not marry because oftentimes they will have grown children, ex-wives, etc., or it's a sugar daddy type relationship.
Again, if that is the case (he has children already), ex wives, other baggage, etc. then you know that your intuition might suit you; that's evidence based thinking. That's not the case of a never married man without kids. Also, the idea that men in their 20s/same age don't want to have fun and are in fact less serious (since they have less resources, knowledge and have more testosterone), is funny.
 

Blade Runner

Ostrich
Orthodox
Also how many supermodels look good without makeup? At the very least waking up to a woman not that different from when you knew her when you chose her shouldn't be a shock.
I agree with this, most of the women put out by the media or production companies are not any better looking than the higher quality women you meet in everyday life. My point using the supermodel thing is that if someone like Gisele Bundchen is good looking and you like her, AND she has family intuitions (5 sisters), you'd go for her vs another woman less good looking/genetically endowed.
 

PVW

Sparrow
Woman
The American ideal is the meeting of the minds, two people in similar life situations who bond together (I'm not saying this should be the ideal, but it's a common perception)

I got hit on a lot as a teenager by older men (never guys in my own age bracket) and it was weird, to say the least. I don't think I ever considered one as a viable partner and I would have been too immature, anyway. I was an old-looking teenager and now people think I'm younger (or are just being nice), so maybe I'm stuck at one mental age, haha.

Also I think the assumption is that the guy just wants to have fun and not marry because oftentimes they will have grown children, ex-wives, etc., or it's a sugar daddy type relationship.
Getting at what you described as being immature, the presumption is that the young woman will be taken advantage of by a man who is so much older and mature. That is the flip side of how many parents (in the US) see older men interested in their younger daughters.

Where many here see the possibility of a man providing for a younger woman and taking care of her, others see the flip side of that, the potential for manipulation, if not abuse.

That is where a lot of the language of "young and inexperienced" come from, and although it is often talked about with respect to sexual experience, the other aspect is the presumption that she doesn't know enough to navigate a relationship with someone so much older.
 
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Blade Runner

Ostrich
Orthodox
Getting at what you described as being immature, the presumption is that the young woman will be taken advantage of by a man who is so much older and mature. That is the flip side of how many parents (in the US) see older men interested in their younger daughters.

Where many here see the possibility of a man providing for a younger woman and taking care of her, others see the flip side of that, the potential for manipulation, if not abuse.

That is where a lot of the language of "young and inexperienced" come from, and although it is often talked about with respect to sexual experience, the other aspect is the presumption that she doesn't know enough to navigate a relationship with someone so much older.
Yes, that's why you screen the man (could be of any age).

The most glaring inconsistency is that it's an admission that women don't have agency or are mature. On the one hand, they are supposed to be able to vote and compete with men with careers. On the other hand, they are not trusted with accountability in regards to their decisions regarding male partners. Hmm.
 

Starlight

Kingfisher
Woman
Yes, that's why you screen the man (could be of any age).

The most glaring inconsistency is that it's an admission that women don't have agency or are mature. On the one hand, they are supposed to be able to vote and compete with men with careers. On the other hand, they are not trusted with accountability in regards to their decisions regarding male partners. Hmm.
I think a big part, and I hate to say it, is that the majority of women are attracted to men around their own age, give or take a few years, and the majority of men are attracted to women in their late teens-20’s. That’s what the statistics say…

My own personal anecdotal experience for me and a bunch of other girls (I was on the cheer team so I’m an expert:squintlol:) I went to school with is that teenage girls are not day dreaming about George Clooney… Of course, there are outliers for attraction and the few women who care more about money than love (and that’s their own prerogative) but for most women, they are attracted to men of a similar age. Meanwhile, older men are having American Beauty fantasies… and young women want young bucks…
 
I think a big part, and I hate to say it, is that the majority of women are attracted to men around their own age, give or take a few years, and the majority of men are attracted to women in their late teens-20’s. That’s what the statistics say…

My own personal anecdotal experience for me and a bunch of other girls (I was on the cheer team so I’m an expert:squintlol:) I went to school with is that teenage girls are not day dreaming about George Clooney… Of course, there are outliers for attraction and the few women who care more about money than love (and that’s their own prerogative) but for most women, they are attracted to men of a similar age. Meanwhile, older men are having American Beauty fantasies… and young women want young bucks…

Hypergamy is also an instinct. So maybe indicators of status also influences their "Love" which in many cases are also instinctual. Its not simply any older Man but something similar to Christian Grey which is unfortunate but accurate barometer of many women's desires.

I dunno.
 
What about sending a daughter to a very conservative private university, run by a church organization which has a strict honor/conduct/appearance/chastity code, where there are real punishments for misbehavior?

As a Mormon, I would want to send my daughter, if I had one, to Brigham Young University. They have a strict honor code, excellent academics, and despite no drugs, sex or alcohol, they know how to have fun. They have campuses in Utah, Idaho and even Hawaii.

I know there are Evangelical Christian universities, with some much stricter than others. As for Catholics, there is of course one of the greatest schools in America, Notre Dame. I don't know of any Orthodox Christian universities.

A young woman needs the leavening influence of a college education for many good reasons. But the problem is that feminism and secularism has infected most western universities, turning them into places that corrupt the young.
 

PVW

Sparrow
Woman
I think a big part, and I hate to say it, is that the majority of women are attracted to men around their own age, give or take a few years, and the majority of men are attracted to women in their late teens-20’s. That’s what the statistics say…

My own personal anecdotal experience for me and a bunch of other girls (I was on the cheer team so I’m an expert:squintlol:) I went to school with is that teenage girls are not day dreaming about George Clooney… Of course, there are outliers for attraction and the few women who care more about money than love (and that’s their own prerogative) but for most women, they are attracted to men of a similar age. Meanwhile, older men are having American Beauty fantasies… and young women want young bucks…
I've seen those same statistics. Men, regardless of age, wanted 18-22 year olds. My response was similar to yours. I already had a dad, I saw no reason whatsoever to date a man who was old enough to be my father. It would have been like dating one of my dad's friends--nope! I thought men who were that much older should date women in their own age group, because they'd have more in common--being of the same generation.

As for young men who were in their mid to late 20s when I was in my early 20s, that made more sense to me. We were within the same age group, but they were a bit more established, for example, in graduate school as compared to being college, or working because they were already finished with their education.
 
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