Signs of Low Notch Count in a Woman

Jive Turkey

Woodpecker
Other Christian
How many of the men demanding a “low notch count wife” have abstained from viewing pornography even one single time? How many view it regularly, and how many are addicted to it? Curious what that data would reveal.
For me, it is that women who have had a lot of sex have always done so from a place of brokenness. Usually, in my experience, women only "give their heart away" one time. Either you are the first guy she falls in love with, or she will never open up to you, trust you, fully love you and give her heart to you.

I have dated virgins and non-virgins, and the virgins have always been so much more candid. The non-virgins are walled off, and I don't blame them. But still, that doesn't mean dating them is any easier because I don't blame them. I am open to being wrong, and obviously don't exclusively date virgins, but that has been a tendency I have noticed. If I dated a woman who had been through the ringer and was still capable of being vulnerable I would be fine with it, but in modern dating the feeling that we are playing a game of probability is common.


Edit: anecdote

There was a girl who was a friend of a friend of a friend that I knew. She always seemed sweet and genuine to me, just based on her appearance, body language and demeanor. She was pretty young and I am assuming either a virgin or maybe had one or two partners. Then she got involved with a guy who was a couple years older and had just got out of a relationship and used her as a rebound. (I'm pretty sure they hooked up, but didn't confirm). The next time I saw her, her demeanor and appearance totally changed. She dyed her hair, upgraded her fashion to get the bad b*tch look.

Very sad case.
 

Max Roscoe

Pelican
Orthodox Inquirer
I didn't keep myself for my wife, so I cannot expect my wife to have done the same for me. If I expect my personal repentance as good enough for my future wife, then I'd have to accept hers also.

There is of course a point to be taken for men who have sinned in their heart or in the flesh shouldn't demand a double standard from their future partner. But at the same time this rubs me the wrong way. Just because I have failed doesn't mean I give others the license to do so.

Does a man who has used drugs have no right to want a partner who is drug free?
Does a recovering gambler have no right to seek a partner who is frugal and firm with finances?
Is a man who stole something condemned to only marrying other thieves and cannot expect more from his future partner?

We are all sinners and should not expect perfection, and indeed if we have violated sins of the flesh then perhaps we forfeit a claim to the same, but I start out expecting my partner to be the way marriage was always intended, and from that point can accept things on a case by case basis depending on the contrition and relationship with God of the person. In other words I don't issue a blanket pardon right off the bat for licentiousness--that just strikes me as wrong.
 

MartyMcFly

Kingfisher
Other Christian
How many of the men demanding a “low notch count wife” have abstained from viewing pornography even one single time? How many view it regularly, and how many are addicted to it? Curious what that data would reveal.
This is not a fair comparison. Watching porn is not good and is bad for one's mental health, but it is not the same as physically having sex. You can't have a baby due to watching porn. It is just like seeing a video of a hostage having his head cut off is bad, but it doesn't make you a murderer.

Also, there are differences between virgin, low notch count, and slut. If a woman just has sex with random guys in bathrooms at bars or wants to have rape simulations with random strangers (sadly some women do this), she is damaged goods and definitely not marriage material. Of course, she can change but it has to come from her wanting to cleanse herself and not a guy thinking he can change her.

A woman that only had sex with men she cared for and had dated awhile is not perfect but at least she thinks sex with random strangers is bad and she has some boundaries.

A woman that waits until marriage before sex has strong moral convictions. This is hard because few women are raised or encouraged to have such convictions.

All of the above applies to men, but there is a bit of a double standard. I think women will be damaged more if they have a lot of sex partners but it doesn't mean men are not damaged at all.
 

OrthoSerb

Sparrow
Orthodox
This is not a fair comparison. Watching porn is not good and is bad for one's mental health, but it is not the same as physically having sex. You can't have a baby due to watching porn. It is just like seeing a video of a hostage having his head cut off is bad, but it doesn't make you a murderer.
Porn and masturbation is bad enough for your spiritual health that you're closer to the person having sex outside of marriage than you are to chastity. That should be obvious. The fact you can't have a baby doesn't make it more moral. If anything it makes it more barren and aimless. Comparing it to a hostage situation sounds comical. Most people using porn are doing so because they can't obtain sex in that moment, not because they're so virtuous that they opt for porn as a lesser evil.
 

ph80

Pigeon
Orthodox
How many of the men demanding a “low notch count wife” have abstained from viewing pornography even one single time? How many view it regularly, and how many are addicted to it? Curious what that data would reveal.

As someone who was saturated in pornography for much of my 20s, let me tell you, I regret it so much. I didn't realize it at the time, but it just wastes your time and damages your soul.

Just like Roosh, I feel permanently damaged. I wish I could have a traditional "low notch count wife" but I feel that I'm too damaged for that. The only way to have that is in a more traditional society without pornography and "hooking up". I think as a society, we are too far gone to maintain these kinds of relationships between a man and a woman.
 

ph80

Pigeon
Orthodox
On a different note, I noticed that some men list "tattoos" as a sure sign of a high body count. Is this a pretty agreed-upon correlation? If a woman has multiple tattoos is that pretty reliable an indicator that she's slept around?
 

OrthoSerb

Sparrow
Orthodox
On a different note, I noticed that some men list "tattoos" as a sure sign of a high body count. Is this a pretty agreed-upon correlation? If a woman has multiple tattoos is that pretty reliable an indicator that she's slept around?
Getting a tattoo is simultaneously breaking a taboo, a form of rebellion and also an attempt to attract attention. Its unlikely that a person breaking that boundary is going to have tight boundaries in matters of sexual ethics. It's a little bit analagous to smoking. Its possible that such a person may not be competent enough to actually sleep around, but I struggle to imagine that they would avoid doing so if they could. The breaking of these various boundaries usually start at a similar age and all such boundaries are broken together. You don't see people breaking one and respecting another, for the most part. How many people do we know that have got a strange hair cut, started smoking, got tatoos but have the discipline and discernment to save themselves for marriage?
 

MartyMcFly

Kingfisher
Other Christian
On a different note, I noticed that some men list "tattoos" as a sure sign of a high body count. Is this a pretty agreed-upon correlation? If a woman has multiple tattoos is that pretty reliable an indicator that she's slept around?
Certain tattoos are clues she might have more experience than your average red light district 'physical therapist':

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